Quite some time ago, I needed a little sign form God to tell me something wasn’t just right. Actually, God had to hit me with a 2x4, multiple times, to get my attention. I wasn’t being a man by providing for my wife.
One day, the job of picking up my very young child from daycare fell to me. I arrived a little early, so I thought it’d be fun just to peek-in and watch my child in the daycare room. What I saw was a surly ‘care-giver’ reading a magazine, pausing just long enough to say “shut-up” or “stop that” to any offending little kid. My child was just circling a table with a blank stare, just marking time. The scene saddened me, greatly. It all didn’t come clear at that moment, but this was the impetus for what follows.
On arriving home, my dear wife was also ‘beat’ from a hard day at work. She was fixing us a frozen pizza for supper and complaining that the house was a wreck. (She’s a neat-freak, so that bothers her, while I don’t care about that stuff, too much.) As usual, the laundry and dishes were piling up. (OK, this is where you all rip on me for not helping around the house, as I should.)
After putting a cranky child to bed, I’m hoping for a break in a 2 week romantic ‘dry spell’. Once again, she’s too tired, and not in the mood… A fight breaks out, so neither one of us get’s much sleep, anyway.
Repeat the above procedure, in various forms, over and over again.
Then, one early morning, it all became very clear. My poor wife was working at least two full-time jobs. She was simply overworked and not a happy camper. Now, if Momma ain’t happy, nobody’s happy. Right then and there, I decided I was going to convince her to quit her job. We could live without it, we could just cut back, waaaay back.
So, for the next few weeks, I carefully gathered information to build my case. I prepared answers for every possible argument she could have. I was doing everything I could to get ready to ‘sell’ her on my idea. Now I’m ready, but how do I start the proposal? I just forgot I was going to smoothly finesse it… You know when you say something, and it wasn’t at all how you wanted to say it, but now it’s too late? That was me. I just ‘told’ her to quit her job.
Boy! Was I surprised when she said “OK, I’ll quit my job and be a stay at home Mom…It’s all I ever wanted.” I didn’t have to ‘sell’ anything. All that preparation and thought on how to convince her was completely unnecessary.
That was the single best thing we’ve ever done. We’re all much, much happier. Sure, the loss of her income was tough, but we just cut back. On the other hand, you would be surprised how much money a SAHM can save. There are many hidden costs associated with the working Mom. She takes care of all the finances, I give her my paycheck and she gives me a twenty every week. I don’t know where she stashes the money, and I don’t care. The kid’s happy, the house sparkles, the food’s better and she is in the ‘mood’ more than ever.
http://forums.catholic-questions.org/images/icons/icon10.gif All the cut-backs were such a small price to pay.
I still worry that she gets bored, or might think she wasted a fine college degree, but she is always quick to remind me that she’s not bored. She says, there’s always something to do. Now she guards her position like a hawk. I don’t think she’ll want to return to the workforce, ever again.
