Working Wives, What if Your Husband Said 'Quit Work'?

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Some time ago, I fretted about how to get my wife to quit her job and stay at home.

I realized that she was working 2 jobs, the one at work and the one at home and she was always tired. I thought and thought about how to approach this with her. I carefully mapped out all the arguments I might face, such as less money, etc. I carefully prepared my case. Then one day, I announced that I wanted, no, I INSISTED that she quit her job to stay at home.

Lo and behold, she said ‘OK, that’s all I’ve ever wanted to do.’ Several years later, It’s been the best thing we’ve ever done. She is truly happier than ever and so am I.

To the working wives, what you say if your husband insisted that you quit your job?
 
I’d say “Praise God, Alleluia!” and kick off my shoes!
Most of the world’s work is done by volunteers anyway.
 
It might depend on what stage of life the couple is in. For example, my husband while we were dating made a futuristic comment about me being a stay-at-home mom.

I said “no way”. I felt obligated to work since so much money went to my education. My future husband was offended that I felt I had to work, and that I didn’t think his income would be enough. I thought he was being a bit chauvinistic at the time.

I worked during the first several years of our marriage. And I can certainly say that he wasn’t at all chauvinistic, he was right.

I am much happier now being a stay-at-home mom. It is better for the family, and I love it.
Jennie
 
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Viki59:
I’d say “Praise God, Alleluia!” and kick off my shoes!
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When I ask married females at work this question, they generally say about the same thing. Who’da thunk it?
 
My current job is a volunteer job that he agreed I could do for a certain length of time. He understands better than I that I need to do the job because I gave my word.

That said, he said this when he worked full time AND was adjunct faculty at several universities. Now, he is an adjunct and setting up his own business. We also have no children, ours having (finally) flown the coop. He does do some household chores, as well.

I think I would try to talk with him regarding the matter. We’ve usually been able to discuss rather than argue (one of the reasons I married him).
 
My husband said this to me 9 months into our marriage. We will be married two years in August.

woooooooooohooooooooooooooo!!!

I am now officially done with all independent consulting, too. (Which I held onto up until recently, as some extra income.) It feels great to be able to take care of my husband and home full-time. We are moving soon and I look forward to settling into a routine in our new hometown and working on starting a family.

My husband enjoys coming home to a clean home and a good dinner. When I was working outside the home, dinner was hit or miss and I often had projects to finish at night. We did not get to spend as much time together as we wanted. I really feel it’s a privilege and one I am very happy to have been given!
 
If I had the opportunity, I would work at a job I enjoyed (ala Barnes& Noble) and not a job I needed to have to make money.
~ Kathy ~
 
I didn’t vote, because it really would depend. If the wife had a job she loved, wouldn’t a loving husband want her to work? Then again, if there was an illness in the family, or while their children were small, I’d think they would both feel the wife not working would be a good idea. If you’ve read my post on the “Women’s Role” thread, you know I’m conflicted about this issue. I just think though, that it depends on the couple, and they should make the decision together, ideally.
 
another thing i should have mentioned were people’s reactions to my loving husband’s generosity.

jealousy jealousy jealousy j e a l o u s y

“but you don’t have kids yet. why would you stay home?”

“why does your husband have to work but you don’t think you do?”

“what exactly do you DO all day?”

“my, aren’t you spoiled.”
 
I would remind him that if I quit we have no medical insurance until medicare kicks in and we are a few years away from that, can’t buy private insurance at any price and he is SE. His mom worked so he always expected me to work, and is disappointed that his daughters after all the time, effort and money to get graduate degrees are stay at home moms. What really gets him going is the way they spend money like water will their husbands are working themselves to death, and the things both couples choose to spend money on, while constantly complaining how poor they are. my daughters are married to men whose mothers did not work outside the home, so their husbands are comfortable with it and do not denigrate their choice, and have respect for what their wives do.
 
I couldn’t vote because I am no longer a working wife. Almost ten years ago my husband said, " Quit your job, stay home with our son." I did, and I have never looked back. :bounce:
 
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Princess_Abby:
another thing i should have mentioned were people’s reactions to my loving husband’s generosity.

“what exactly do you DO all day?”
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Just what exactly DO you DO all day?? And no offense, but sounds like a bit of a control issue going on here.
~ Kathy ~
 
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Katie1723:
Just what exactly DO you DO all day?? And no offense, but sounds like a bit of a control issue going on here.
~ Kathy ~
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could you expand on that? where is the control issue? 🙂
 
He did in 1997. In 1998, I had to go to work for HIM! :whacky:
 
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puzzleannie:
I would remind him that if I quit we have no medical insurance until medicare kicks in and we are a few years away from that, can’t buy private insurance at any price and he is SE.
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Boy, that health insurance is a real kicker. Many people just don’t realize just how important that is. As you know, you can be insurable one day and untouchable forever the next.

We’re lucky and blessed, as I bought personal health insurance many years ago when DW didn’t have any of those dreaded pre-existing health conditions. Probably a subject for another thread, but I would STRONGLY encourage everyone without any pre-existing medical conditions to buy and keep a high-deductable health insurance plan, right now. Jobs and companies come and go, but you can have health coverage on a personal plan that you can keep forever. The high deductable keeps it cheap as possible so through thick and thin you can keep up with the premiums. Most people can come up with $5 grand, but lets see 'em come up with two or three HUNDRED THOUSAND dollars, or even more.
 
Good grief - my husband would never “tell” me to stay home. I’m sure we’d be happy to discuss it as two loving adults if the question ever came up!

It’s always been important for him that we had financial security enough for me to choose a job I love, or no job at all.
 
When my children were pre-schoolers, I would have submitted my resignation in a second! It was really tough in those days, and a feeling that I wasn’t doing a great job at either being a mom or my paying job.

But there was always the issue of me being the one with health care coverage and a steady income. Now that my kids are in school, it’s not so bad. I’m home with them in the summer. My school is close to their school, so I’m able to slip in and out for important events at their school.

I guess if money and health care were no object, I’d probably “stay at home”, and spend most of my days at THEIR school. Our lives would probably be a little less crazy and rushed, and maybe I’d have time to exercise.
 
I didn’t vote because my husband would never say that. (I’m the one with the job that carries health insurance for my family.) However, I have said to HIM, “Why don’t YOU quit?” He says he’s waiting until we win the lottery…

Kathy
 
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