Working Wives, What if Your Husband Said 'Quit Work'?

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I absolutely love being a stay-at-home Mom.

My job is to raise my children to be saints, not to earn enough for an SUV or a better house. Being at home gives me such a greater opportunity to study more about our faith (which is one reason I’m on this forum) and pass that on to our daughters.

Sometimes it’s tough, but we always manage. I sell on ebay a bit, and I find ways to save us money (for example, when the sheets I’ve got in the washer right now are done, they’re going up on a clothesline, not into the dryer).

My husband and I want one of us to be there for our kids, especially now when they’re out of school for the summer.

That said, I have great respect for working women. I don’t know how they do it.
 
I would sing for joy. I regret having to work, but we need my medical insurance. With my health we would be bankrupt within a year without insurance.

Our goal is for me to quit within 2 years when he finishes school and prayerfully finds a better paying job with health insurance.
 
DH and I have actually discussed this. We both want me to be able to quit, but financially it looks like it’ll be another couple of years. 😦 Man! I’d just love to be a stay-at-home-mom and housewife. Just imagine what I could do in a day if I didn’t have to work. 😉
 
As much as I would want to stay at home I don’t think I could. I am about to be married for the second time. I have 3 children living from my first marriage and I don’t think he should have to support them and me. Even if he did, the health insurance would probably be a big problem…mine is better than his plan. If my ex actually paid child support and health insurance like he was ordered to I might feel differently about it, but that isn’t going to happen, we haven’t heard from him in 6 yrs…no phone calls, no visits, no money!!! So I guess I will be a working woman till the day I die.
 
Twenty years ago, my husband and I assumed that when our first baby was born I would always be home - no more working outside the house.
It was an unspoken understanding between the two of us. We didn’t discuss it. It just happened.

I have always found it difficult to understand why a husband would make plans based on factoring in an income from the mother of his children. Husbands should spend their time and mental energy on ways to keep their wives home with their babies.
 
After 27 years of menial jobs (I only have a G.E.D.) and putting DH through college, I am retired by choice of both myself and DH.
I heard so many of those negative comments; “You’re going to be bored”, yadda, yadda, yadda.
Bull!
I am so busy now doing all the things I never had the time or energy to do.
My laundry is always done, my ironing is always done, my house is always clean and DH gets a home cooked meal every night. I visit shut-ins from my Parish, attend SCC meetings and never miss Mass for work. I also get to sit here on CAF whenever I please. 😃
I am so darn happy! :dancing:
 
I said “Yes, I’d Love to.” With the idea that if I quit, my husband would have a job that would support us. Right now, I am the main bread-winner. My husband gets to be with our girls as a mostly stay-at-home Dad. Lucky him. Lucky me for having a man who does what is necessary for our family!
 
Well, I plan to be able to stay home with any future kids, as long as it’s financially possible. But until we’re both done with school and have some sort of savings going on, looks like I’ll be working.

Honestly, I can’t WAIT to stay home with my kids and give all my energy into my home and family. I think it will be awesome. I have no problem with not working. Because it’s not like I won’t be working with all the kids I want to have 😃 But there isn’t any guarantee that I won’t have to work at all…I guess time will tell. 🙂
 
In order for me to quit my job, he would need to get a job to cover our expenses AND cover the health insurance. We are both in our fifties and empty nesters, so staying at home to raise kids isn’t an issue any longer. His job of twenty years closed and he was forced out because of it. Now he is making considerably less money and is having a tough time finding a job where he can approach his former salary and benefits especially at his age. So, no way could I quit since I am the primary breadwinner at this point in time. Like it or not, that’s one of the little snags that life throws at you from time to time, and we have to do it this way.
 
I think in this day and age, it takes 2 people working to make a go of things. And I don’t mean for all the extras, I mean just for the basics sometimes. If you are fortunate enough to stay home, that’s wonderful. I never had the option but I think even if I did, I’d work at something, just to keep my sanity and for adult conversation. Some of that might come from the fact that I worked since I was 13. And I don’t regret one minute. My father instilled in me a wonderful work ethic and I am proud of that. And before you go blaming the kids now a days on working parents, I know plenty who are having problems and they were stay at home parents. Life is a gamble, full of chances and choices. Pray that you make the right one.
~ Kathy ~
 
It took having a handicap baby (17 years ago) for me to quit.My husband and I never looked back. We were a dual career couple for almost 11 years. We were crazy trying to “keep up with the other yuppies of the 80’s” Then reality and what was important in life hit us between the eyes. The only regret I have is my daughter was 10 years old and halfway through childhood when I finally opened my eyes. My son was only 3 so I miss some of his babyhood, but my youngest from day one!!! Now I am enjoying Grandmahood as well.:love:
 
I was a stay at home mom till the kids started school. Since then I have worked part time while they are in school to help with the bills. I would love to be able to not work outside the home. My hubby would love if he made enough for this to be possible.

Our oldest starts college this year. We don’t own our own home, and are still paying off hubby’s college loans, so I suspect I’ll be working…for a good long time.

cheddar
 
My husband and I decided before we were even married that I would probably never work, unless something happened to him. I was in university at the time, getting my bachelors in biology. We got married, I got pregnant right away (which is what we figured would happen), and I finished school. It was important to me to finish school because God gave me a brain to develop to the best of my ability. I was also very blessed that my parents paid for schooling and understood my decisions, so I had no debt.

I have a greater earning potential than my husband, but have always seen a greater value in staying home to raise kids and take care of the house. I have had horrible things said to me because of this, but I really feel God blessing our decision.

We have had to live in my in-laws basement for the past 2+ years because we couldn’t afford rent, but now that my husband has steady work, we are looking at buying a house. God has really taken care of us, and I think it is because we just decided we would do what was in the best interest of our family and trust Him with the rest.
 
Marvelous! Do It! But I say do not wait until your husband says “Quit Your Job”. Do it now regardless. Most men today have retreated into a place where their wives make a good income, so why should they say it? It frees up their burden of providing.

Phooey.
 
I think it also makes a difference whether or not you have kids. I grew up in the era when most mom’s didn’t work and mine did. I didn’t grow up to be an axe murderer but I know it was detrimental to my sister and me. I read catsrus’s post and thought of how nice it would have been to have a mom at home.

Our house was always filthy, my mom was exhausted when she got home and grumbled as she cooked a (horrible) dinner. After dinner she fell asleep in front of the TV and my father spent the evening smoking cigarettes and drinking. My sister and I were basically on our own. We did our own laundry, ironing, breakfast and lunch prep. Because of work my mom could never attend any school functions during the day. They were surely two very unhappy people. My mom is a brilliant woman and wanted to work. She demeaned anything to do with homemaking and child care. That’s what I learned and that’s what I did. I’ve worked since I was l5 years old and that’s been a while…Unfortunately a LOT of women have that attitude inflicted on them. They may want to stay home but society virtually expects women to work and sadly I understand many men expect working wives.

I would encourage any woman who has kids to do whatever she can to stay home and raise her family. It may be a different story once the kids have flown the coop. If the couple agrees on the wife staying at home or working or volunteering after the kids are gone, it’s another story.

Lisa N
 
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maendem:
Good grief - my husband would never “tell” me to stay home. I’m sure we’d be happy to discuss it as two loving adults if the question ever came up!
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AMEN! It’s not much different than the myriad of life choices that come up in a marriage like deciding when to start/add to a family, whether or not to move, where to send your kids to school, with whose family you’ll be spending the holidays, etc, etc, etc., Marriage is a life-long commitment to communication and mutual give and take.
 
I’ve been nagging my wife for years to go back to school and get her Ph.D., and now she is finally doing it. She is quitting her full-time job, but she will be starting a part-time (weekend) job.
 
Boy this is an interesting issue! I work full time out of my home and have children. I don’t believe that having two working parents means that children are deprived. Both my parents and my husband’s parents worked and all of their children turned out just fine. I would not stop working for several reasons: I like my job; I provide the healthcare for my family; I earn a larger income. Is it easy? Absolutely not. Is quitting an option? Absolutely not. It’s a good thing I really enjoy what I do. 🙂
 
We had planned from day one of our relationship that once we had kids, I would stay home full time. So, for the last 6 years, I have been home. I pray that our situation stays this way, because I hope to be home pretty much forever!

My husband is not a millionaire, but he makes a decent living. We make sacrifices and choices to what we think is best for our family.
 
I answered no-other reasons but actually the answer would be yes. I guess I just didn’t think long enough about it. I am so used to being okay with it! My husband actually stays home with our children. We decided early on it made the most sense for me to pursue a career because he is visually impaired. We have talked about how we could make it work to bring me home (expand his home business, etc), but I doubt it will happen soon.
 
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