Worried about a VERY HONEST confession

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taribomckay

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Hi friends,

tomorrow I am going to ask the Priest for a confession.

I haven’t been in ages and I’ve done some really bad things. How worried should I be? What advice can anyone give me on being very honest and open.

Anxiety levels are through the roof but I know I’ll feel better once I’ve confessed … it’s just getting there.
 
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Keep it simple. Confession isn’t therapy. A lot of detail isn’t necessary. Don’t be so vague that the priest won’t know what you’re talking about, but also don’t worry about details. Just say what you did and leave it at that.

Anxiety tends to be lessened when we set good boundaries, and that includes within ourselves. So if you make a list, keep it simple, and don’t give detail, that’ll help to lessen your anxiety. Good preparation can make it less anxious an experience.

You are in my prayers.

-Fr ACEGC
 
Father posted while I was typing so I can’t really add much. I’ll just say I felt the same way when I confessed after a long time. Remember the priest has heard it all before and is not sitting in judgement of you. He’s also had plenty of people confessing for the first time in years. So that’s nothing odd or new. And you are right you will feel much better after you confess.
 
I had seventeen years between Confessions before I returned to the Church. The priest was very kind about it. Father edward_george1 gave a great response above, so there’s not much more I can say.
 
thanks everyone, feeling a bit better about the prospect already.
 
It is nothing to be nervous about.
Remember priests have for the most part heard it all. You may ask, “really you think they all hear truly heinous crimes?” And yes, most probably have. Remember priests visit prisons and hear confessions, so they probably aren’t very phased by most confessions happening in churches in normal settings. Christ forgives all who repent.
Also they aren’t there to judge you or anything. Just working in persona Christi and showing you mercy.
Don’t go face to face if it makes it easier.(Though it sounds like you have an appointment which in that case it doesn’t really matter).
But anyways just be honest and everything will be great, I promise you will walk out feeling so much better. And with Christ it is like a fresh beginning. I always view Confession like that. It is like trying to but to death former ways and renew yourself. Walking out a brand new cleanser soul. It is beautiful.
 
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Psalms 22(23)
“The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; …”
and 102(103)
“Bless oh Lord, my soul, from the depths of my being, his holy name;…”
really help with anxiety in general.
 
It is so wonderful that you are coming back to the sacrament of Reconciliation!

I understand how difficult it can be, but we are ALL sinners and we all need God’s forgiveness. You are a very strong person that you desire to be forgiven. Priests have heard it all, that is true.
 
taribomckay said:
I haven’t been in ages and I’ve done some really bad things. How worried should I be? What advice can anyone give me on being very honest and open.
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You can confess behind a screen or look down and avoid eye contact if it helps. It is unlikely that the priest will be shocked by what you tell him. You could go in, and confess promptly and as a matter of fact, in a kind of list type confession, without eye contact with the priest while you’re doing so. I’m sure the priest will be very glad that you came to Confession.
 
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Yeah we’re truly not shocked by anything. I don’t remember 95% of what I hear in confession. Even if I try to make myself remember, I just wind up with fuzzy recollections of having been in the confessional, with nothing specific coming to mind.

Also, in the 3 years I’ve been ordained, I’ve heard somewhere in the neighborhood of 10,000 confessions. After you’ve been a priest about a month, you’ve heard everything. Anymore, hearing confessions is kind of boring, in the sense that everybody confesses the same thing. Hearing people’s sins isn’t exciting. Giving them God’s mercy is.
 
OP. Remember that converts have between 20-70 years of sins to confess when they are becoming Catholics. Do your best in remembering all the sins and know that the Church is not going to hit you with a hammer if you forget one sin.

Do something nice after your confession like bringing some flowers to the statue of our Lady or visit an elderly neighbour that doesn’t have many visitors or can get out of the house easily. I am sure you can think of something that you look forward to doing.

Remember that the priest can never ever say anything about what you have confessed or that you have been to confession in the first place.
 
If you are worried about forgetting things or not explaining well, write them down and just read your list to the priest.
 
I know it’s a natural inclination to feel sorry or anxiety around this, but remind yourself that’s the wrong feeling — it should be excitement. To meet your Lord in such a personal way and know that you’re making an effort to receive his healing grace.
 
First of all, no sin is greater than our Lord’s mercy, so you have nothing to fear.

Be as honest as you can, but you do not need to give too many details, unless the priests ask you to.

It’s the best deal ever, could you imagine if we went to a court and simply by confessing our crimes, we would be absolved ! Who would not do that?

It is a great grace that God has granted you to confess your sins, only God knows how many souls have perished forever because they never made a confession and now it is too late for them.

God Bless
 
No worries. I’ll tell you why.

Isn’t it strange that we have no problem carrying around a back-breaking load of mortal sin for long periods of time yet, when time comes to unburden ourselves, we freak out.

Wanna be close to God? Want peace of heart? Tell Him your sins honestly and He’ll destroy them for the sake of your relationship with Him. Is that cool, or what?

Just do it. It’s like spiritual Tylenol.
 
thanks again everyone. Mass is at 7 tonight so I’m hoping to go and see the Priest a good 15/20 minutes beforehand for confession and maybe a quick chat too.

Once again this forum has helped me gain courage and strength. Thanks again.
 
Might just be me, but I cannot imagine how you have the courage and strength to carry all that sin around!

And, if the penance assigned seems to be almost nothing, that is evidence of God’s mercy.
 
I think it’s because I’ve been out of touch with the Church for so long. Sunday past was the first time I’ve attended in a good while.

But you’re right - I know this sin is dragging me down, I can feel it.

On another note if anyone can help me become a more consistent attendee and help me grow in faith that would be most welcome.
 
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