A
azchurch
Guest
I have not slept since this time yesterday and I had a meltdown uncontrollable sobbing and crying to God. When I close my eyes I can’t stop my mind and sleep. It’s the worst I’ve had in 20 years. I don’t feel God I’ve cried to him and nothing. If not for my wife I would not be here as it is I’m in a coma. I’m cried out no more to give and I don’t know where to turn.
My wife stayed up with me for an hour but I have to let her sleep becuase she has to work and her mother is having surgery later today. I’m afraid for her having to watch me come undone in front of her. I’m so ashamed! I took Xanax which usually helps and it didn’t. I am under attack. O God I’m afraid to say it but I’m hurt and angry I believe help my unbelief.
I’m going to a doctor later when I can and I thank you all here and it’s a black irony to me that I’ve been praying for people having these same issues because I KNOW what they were going through and now I have the worst crisis I have had in a longer time than I can remember. And I’m hurt so deeply that I pray and cry out to God and it gets worse. Thank you for listening and for your prayers. God be with all of you going through this with me. I don’t think I’m making sense. I don’t feel like a prayer warrior I’m sorry I doubt so much.
My wife stayed up with me for an hour but I have to let her sleep becuase she has to work and her mother is having surgery later today. I’m afraid for her having to watch me come undone in front of her. I’m so ashamed! I took Xanax which usually helps and it didn’t. I am under attack. O God I’m afraid to say it but I’m hurt and angry I believe help my unbelief.
I’m going to a doctor later when I can and I thank you all here and it’s a black irony to me that I’ve been praying for people having these same issues because I KNOW what they were going through and now I have the worst crisis I have had in a longer time than I can remember. And I’m hurt so deeply that I pray and cry out to God and it gets worse. Thank you for listening and for your prayers. God be with all of you going through this with me. I don’t think I’m making sense. I don’t feel like a prayer warrior I’m sorry I doubt so much.
I have been in the dark pit before and know how hard it is. Though it may seem you are being held onto the Lord by a thread- oh how strong that thread is! Our faith seems so small, the size of a mustard seed, but His provision is Great! Yes, the evil one sends his lies (think of the temptations of Jesus when He was weak) But good always overcomes evil. Fortunately joy comes in the morning. Hold tight to Your Lord. Rest your weary head on His shoulder and He will hold you.