I’m an amateur bodybuilder. I really care about people staying in shape, and the “look” I’m most attracted to is the “natural healthy look.” These means a variety of things, but basically it boils down to this: Not super skinny. Not super fat. Very light on make-up and nail-polish.
So if I’m dating someone, or married to someone who starts putting on a lot of weight, yes it concerns me. Their health is at risk, and I may become less attracted to them. (Love is not based on attraction, but to then conclude that attraction isn’t important is just silly! I’m glad to see that others get this.)
As someone who works out religiously, I feel I’m in a position to ask whomever I’m “with” to aim for healthiness in general. In other words, “I have the balls to mention it. I walk the walk.” I’m also in a position of experience to help.
It also depends on how the weight is gained. If I’m dating someone who goes from 15% body fat to 20%, I’m probably not going to care. Heck, part of me may even like that more.
Or if I’m married, and my wife gets pregnant. Putting on 25-40 pounds is a good idea there. (I believe 30 is ideal, but I’m not a doctor, so I don’t know for sure.) Then, of course, there is going to be some recovery time after the pregnancy. I’m attracted to healthiness, and 40 pounds due to pregnancy still looks healthy.
All in all, I can’t say that I disagree with sentiments such as both spouses owe it to each other to stay in shape: For both reasons of attraction, and healthiness (which go together for me).
As for the “Would you rather have me lose 10 pounds or lay naked next to you” type of comments: If you find the two options mutually exclusive, then you’re talking about an ultimatum.
Side note, just to nip this in the bud: To anyone out there who thinks it’s “impossible” for some people to lose weight (and keep it off), that’s simply not true. Everyone can do it. The problem is usually something like: most people set out very determined, don’t research what they are doing at all, sometimes starve themselves (eating too few calories can lower your metabolism making weight loss harder), and then give up.
Anyone needing help, please consults my two links. It’s hours of reading, but it’s free advice from experienced fitness experts, who walk the walk. I personally have used this info to better my body and mind.
Knowledge is power!
leehayward.com/fatloss.htm
johnberardi.com/articles/
You could also message me, but I’m a second hand source, and not a super active board member.
Second, as you get older, you get sicker. Having a little extra weight help you survive those periods of sickness.
Actually, you’ll get sick less if you don’t gain the weight. Being overweight and not exercising can lead to sickness. (You’ve got it backwards…or sideways, or whatever.)
