Would I be committing a sin to leave my IUD in?

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Holly3278

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Hi everyone. Back in December of 2008, I had an IUD put in while I was away from the Church. The reason being that I had a best friend who I was sexually active with. Well, my best friend and I have agreed to remain chaste from now on. However, we have not remained chaste all the time in the past. We are firmly committed to remaining chaste now. Anyway, my best friend told me he would not support me getting the IUD removed and that he thinks I should leave it in just in case I find another guy who I wish to be sexually active with. He told me he would be very angry with me if i get it removed. He feels like he is protecting me because I have mental problems that would make having a child very difficult for me. So, he feels like he is protecting me in a sense from getting pregnant by threatening to be very angry with me if I get the IUD removed. However, we did agree to remain chaste. So, I am kind of stuck with keeping the IUD even though I don’t want it. My priest told me that it is not a sin for me to keep the IUD in so long as I am remaining chaste. Do you agree with what the priest said or would I be committing a sin by leaving the IUD in regardless of whether I am chaste or not? 🤷:confused:
 
The priest is correct that having the IUD is not itself sinful. The IUD is just an object and does no harm if you are not sexually active.

HOWEVER, if having the IUD would make it easier to give into temptation, that makes it a near occasion of sin. Near occasions of sin are to be avoided.

Your friend is well meaning but misguided. Unlike the pill, the **main action **of the IUD is to force an early abortion. there is no good reason to want that to happen.
 
Corki said:
The priest is correct that having the IUD is not itself sinful. The IUD is just an object and does no harm if you are not sexually active.

HOWEVER, if having the IUD would make it easier to give into temptation, that makes it a near occasion of sin. Near occasions of sin are to be avoided.

Your friend is well meaning but misguided. Unlike the pill, the **main action **of the IUD is to force an early abortion. there is no good reason to want that to happen.
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Ok, so near occasions of sin are to be avoided. But is it a mortal sin to keep it in even if it is a near occasion of sin? 🤷:confused:
 
Corki said:
The priest is correct that having the IUD is not itself sinful. The IUD is just an object and does no harm if you are not sexually active.
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You’re kidding me, right? The IUD can damage the uterus, which can affect future fertility. The only purpose of an IUD is to make certain that no pregnancy can survive. It is indeed harmful. Get rid of it.
 
According to the Oxford English Dictionary, an IUD is a “device fitted inside the uterus and physically preventing the implantation of fertilized ova.” It is a form of artificial birth control. The only permissible birth control is Natural Family Planning (NFP).
 
sheila0405 said:
You’re kidding me, right? The IUD can damage the uterus, which can affect future fertility. The only purpose of an IUD is to make certain that no pregnancy can survive. It is indeed harmful. Get rid of it.
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Yes, the IUD can harm the uterus but this usually only happens during insertion of the IUD or it usually happens within the first few days and hours of having the IUD. That is when perforation of the uterus is most likely to happen. After you’ve had it for a few months (like I have) that risk goes down dramatically. At least that’s the way I understand it.
Geremia said:
According to the Oxford English Dictionary, an IUD is a “device fitted inside the uterus and physically preventing the implantation of fertilized ova.” It is a form of artificial birth control. The only permissible birth control is Natural Family Planning (NFP).
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Yes, I know that the only permissible form of birth control is Natural Family Planning. However, I am no longer using the IUD for birth control. In fact, the only reason I am keeping it in is so that my friend does not get angry with me. I am not sexually active anymore.

I see no reason why I should get rid of the IUD especially considering that my priest has no problem with me keeping it in.
 
Holly3278 said:
In fact, the only reason I am keeping it in is so that my friend does not get angry with me.
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Holly, I believe your priest is right. There’s nothing intrinsically wrong about having an IUD in place if you’re not sexually active. That said, what business is it of your friend’s to tell you not to remove a foreign device that releases a constant stream of chemicals into your body? His primary reason for wanting you to keep it in is that that he feels you will be too weak to practice chastity. What kind of friend is this? You have the right to remove it if you wish, and if you were my good friend, I would probably encourage you to do so.
 
nodito said:
Holly, I believe your priest is right. There’s nothing intrinsically wrong about having an IUD in place if you’re not sexually active. That said, what business is it of your friend’s to tell you not to remove a foreign device that releases a constant stream of chemicals into your body? His primary reason for wanting you to keep it in is that that he feels you will be too weak to practice chastity. What kind of friend is this? You have the right to remove it if you wish, and if you were my good friend, I would probably encourage you to do so.
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No offense intended but I really don’t appreciate your harsh words against my friend. I know my friend’s motives for wanting me to keep the IUD in and they are pure motives. He knows me far better than you or anyone else on these forums and is only looking out for what is in my best interests.
 
Holly3278 said:
No offense intended but I really don’t appreciate your harsh words against my friend. I know my friend’s motives for wanting me to keep the IUD in and they are pure motives. He knows me far better than you or anyone else on these forums and is only looking out for what is in my best interests.
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Sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you. You’re right, I don’t know you or your friend.

I was reacting to what I read; it sounded like you would choose to remove the IUD if it was not for your friend, and if that’s the case, you should remove it. His reason for wanting you to keep the IUD is so that you won’t get pregnant. It may be true that it’s in your best interest not to get pregnant right now, and that your friend is concerned for you in this way. But it’s impossible to get pregnant if you’re not sexually active. So he either thinks that you will soon choose to be sexually active again and is okay with it, or he thinks you’ll be unable to resist the temptation to have sex when it comes around. Personally, I would rather have friends that encourage me to practice chastity and not automatically assume that I’ll mess up.
 
nodito said:
Sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you. You’re right, I don’t know you or your friend.

I was reacting to what I read; it sounded like you would choose to remove the IUD if it was not for your friend, and if that’s the case, you should remove it. His reason for wanting you to keep the IUD is so that you won’t get pregnant. It may be true that it’s in your best interest not to get pregnant right now, and that your friend is concerned for you in this way. But it’s impossible to get pregnant if you’re not sexually active. So he either thinks that you will soon choose to be sexually active again and is okay with it, or he thinks you’ll be unable to resist the temptation to have sex when it comes around. Personally, I would rather have friends that encourage me to practice chastity and not automatically assume that I’ll mess up.
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It’s ok. 🙂 I forgive you. :hug1:

That said, I think you are correct about why he wants me to keep the IUD in. I think he thinks that I will be tempted to have sex again in the future and I may very well be tempted to have sex again in the future. However, that is the reason why I want to get the IUD removed. I know that if I get the IUD removed, the temptation will be much less than it is now because I’ll be afraid of getting pregnant. I am going to try to convince him to not be mad at me if I do get the IUD removed because I would really like to have it removed.

You, as well as others, could assist me in convincing him to not be mad by giving me some reasons why having the IUD in is a bad idea. What are some of the bad side effects of the IUD? I am going to look that up but you all might know of some studies or something that I can’t find at first. 👍
 
You posted here some time back that you had your IUD removed. Did you have another put in after that?

Please, get the help you need with your mental health issues, stay away from this “friend” who is a horrible influence on your spiritual life.

Chaste or not, get that awful thing out of your body.
 
kage_ar said:
You posted here some time back that you had your IUD removed. Did you have another put in after that?

Please, get the help you need with your mental health issues, stay away from this “friend” who is a horrible influence on your spiritual life.

Chaste or not, get that awful thing out of your body.
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kage_ar said:
Here is the tread where you stated you decided to have the IUD removed:

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=291680&page=3&highlight=Birth+Control
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Yes, I had decided to get my IUD removed but then I changed my mind and left it in. I am now considering getting it removed again.

Anyway, please don’t call my friend a horrible influence. He is the best influence I have in my life besides my spiritual director. He is just concerned for me.
 
Holly3278 said:
I am going to try to convince him to not be mad at me if I do get the IUD removed because I would really like to have it removed.

You, as well as others, could assist me in convincing him to not be mad by giving me some reasons why having the IUD in is a bad idea. What are some of the bad side effects of the IUD?
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I’m not sure whether discussing the side effects would constitutde medical advice, so I’ll leave you to google that on your own. But I wonder, do you need to tell him? Others might disagree with me, but why not just make an appointment and get it removed without his knowing? He’s not a spouse or a parent; you don’t owe him any intimate details about your body.
 
kage_ar said:
Will this friend help you get to heaven?
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Sure he will. He has prevented me from killing myself numerous times, he’s always telling me not to lie to my parents and stuff. Just because he doesn’t want me to get the IUD removed (and indeed a priest told me it was ok to leave it in so long as I am chaste) doesn’t mean that he’s going to drag me to Hell.
nodito said:
I’m not sure whether discussing the side effects would constitutde medical advice, so I’ll leave you to google that on your own. But I wonder, do you need to tell him? Others might disagree with me, but why not just make an appointment and get it removed without his knowing? He’s not a spouse or a parent; you don’t owe him any intimate details about your body.
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I tell him everything. He’d find out eventually anyway.
 
Explain to him that you feel that you are less likely to have sex again if you take out the IUD because you would be scared of becoming pregnant. It’s like giving up chocolate, but carrying around a Hershey Bar inside your purse just in case you slip. It gives you a reason to slip whereas taking it out would be a reason to prevent you from slipping.

In addition to this, you are Catholic and even if you were to slip and have sex, the IUD causes an abortion. Tell him you can’t justify to yourself killing a person so that you can continue to live your life as you choose.
 
AdriannaJean said:
Explain to him that you feel that you are less likely to have sex again if you take out the IUD because you would be scared of becoming pregnant. It’s like giving up chocolate, but carrying around a Hershey Bar inside your purse just in case you slip. It gives you a reason to slip whereas taking it out would be a reason to prevent you from slipping.

In addition to this, you are Catholic and even if you were to slip and have sex, the IUD causes an abortion. Tell him you can’t justify to yourself killing a person so that you can continue to live your life as you choose.
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Hmmm, ok. That sounds like a strategy! Thanks! 👍
 
Intimate details like this have no place in discussion with a friend of the opposite gender. It is immodest to discuss these things with your friend.

Your doctor, your priest and your spouse should be privy to intimate details.
 
kage_ar said:
Intimate details like this have no place in discussion with a friend of the opposite gender. It is immodest to discuss these things with your friend.

Your doctor, your priest and your spouse should be privy to intimate details.
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Well sorry but I have always told him these things in particular because I have been sexually active with him in the past.
 
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