Would you attend this wedding?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Contra_Mundum_1
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
That is partly the point I was making. BUT, if a protestant church doesn’t see a remarriage as invalid, shouldn’t we as Catholics respect their belief? I have always understood it to be in Church teachings that we can attend remarriages of other religions, as long as their religion believes it is a valid marriage and neither the groom or the bride was ever a Catholic.
We do respect their beliefs in that we don’t try to stop them from marrying in their church. But if I were to attend an invalid wedding, that would be my action, not the couple’s. It’s my responsibility not to sin.

As Catholics, we know God’s laws regarding marriage, and we must follow them – that means not supporting or condoning, tacitly or otherwise, the [usually inadvertent] sins of our Protestant brothers and sisters who do not know these laws.
 
That is partly the point I was making. BUT, if a protestant church doesn’t see a remarriage as invalid, shouldn’t we as Catholics respect their belief? I have always understood it to be in Church teachings that we can attend remarriages of other religions, as long as their religion believes it is a valid marriage and neither the groom or the bride was ever a Catholic.
My Jewish friends understand that I am permitted by my faith to eat pork. They do not take my pork away or prevent me from eating pork, they simply do not come over when we are roasting a suckling pig.

I understand that they feel they can marry over and over again. I choose not to go celebrate the wedding because for me it would be a sin.

Why is mutual respect so difficult for some people to grasp?
 
the hard part here is its family

its easy to respect your friends’ beliefs and your friends respect your beliefs. but when its family, the stakes are higher

Jesus did say he’ll drive a wedge between parents, siblings, etc. and this is what He was talking about, that those members of a family who will believe in Him will have to fight those in the family who doesn’t
 
We do respect their beliefs in that we don’t try to stop them from marrying in their church. But if I were to attend an invalid wedding, that would be my action, not the couple’s. It’s my responsibility not to sin.

As Catholics, we know God’s laws regarding marriage, and we must follow them – that means not supporting or condoning, tacitly or otherwise, the [usually inadvertent] sins of our Protestant brothers and sisters who do not know these laws.
This is the way I see it as well. The couple has no clue that what they are doing is sinful. I believe that it is (as someone has said: it is God’s law, not ours) and feel I can’t celebrate their marriage.

Another issue that seriously bothers me in this case is that they are getting married in a church that neither is a member of. I just don’t get it. What’s the point? I might actually feel differently about this situation if they were marrying in a church that she or he were a member of. It would make sense at least. But this scenario sugests a complete lack of understanding of what marriage in church means and taking God very, very lightly. But perhaps this is not a big deal for protestants, to church hop. I really don’t know because I don’t understand their view of what it means to belong to a particular denomination and how much is allowed.
 
Honor thy father and they mother, does not mean agree with them. Go to the wedding. If you choose not to then that is your choice but don’t expect any warm family gatherings for a long while. If your not attached to your father in law ( and you know exactly what I mean) then don’t worry about offending him. But ask yourself. Are you ready to put your husband through that? I say go it but personally I don’t care either way as both of you are in the wrong.
 
Honor thy father and they mother, does not mean agree with them. Go to the wedding. If you choose not to then that is your choice but don’t expect any warm family gatherings for a long while. If your not attached to your father in law ( and you know exactly what I mean) then don’t worry about offending him. But ask yourself. Are you ready to put your husband through that? I say go it but personally I don’t care either way as both of you are in the wrong.
What on earth does this last sentence mean? 🤷
 
Contra, you have a great excuse for not attending the wedding because you say you only have three weeks before you give birth to your baby. That means that you will be very uncomfortable and having to go to the restroom often because of a full bladder. The fetus pushes itself against the bladder. Plus, you could get edema in your feet where they get bloated from sitting too long at a wedding.
You may even be having your baby sooner than three weeks away.

I would tell your husband to go have a great time with the family members. They will have drink and food and he will be socializing and telling people that you didn’t feel well enough to attend.

If you do decide to attend you may have to leave early because you don’t feel well and your husband will miss out on have fun talking with his relatives at the reception.

I am looking at your situation in a practical manner regarding your reality of your pregnancy. Even if you decided to attend you may not be able to go because you will not be feeling enough energy to attend.
 
Hey LaLucia, thanks. It’s good to get a woman’s perspective on this 🙂
I think this is going to be a very possible outcome for this situation, ie not going and resting at home instead.
 
My Jewish friends understand that I am permitted by my faith to eat pork. They do not take my pork away or prevent me from eating pork, they simply do not come over when we are roasting a suckling pig.

I understand that they feel they can marry over and over again. I choose not to go celebrate the wedding because for me it would be a sin.

Why is mutual respect so difficult for some people to grasp?
Because I think people have different definitions of “mutual respect” and I think mine is quite different from yours.
 
Because I think people have different definitions of “mutual respect” and I think mine is quite different from yours.
So, you would get offended if your Jewish friend did not eat the pork roast you cooked? He would someone “disrespect” you by honoring his faith?
 
Is it possible for someone in this situation to just get a tribunal to issue a decree of nullity so they can attend the wedding? Does the Church provide that service to someone even if they aren’t Catholic and are not marrying a Catholic?
 
Is it possible for someone in this situation to just get a tribunal to issue a decree of nullity so they can attend the wedding? Does the Church provide that service to someone even if they aren’t Catholic and are not marrying a Catholic?
Since they are not Catholic and are not being married in the Church, the tribunal wouldn’t accept it for any type of review.

As another poster asked, why try to place Catholic rules on marriage on non-catholics?

Peace,
FAB
 
Is it possible for someone in this situation to just get a tribunal to issue a decree of nullity so they can attend the wedding? Does the Church provide that service to someone even if they aren’t Catholic and are not marrying a Catholic?
The Tribunal does not hand out nullity declarations like candy. There is a long and expensive investigation process, takes at bare minimum 9 months and many times it takes several years. Of the cases that the Tribunal takes, some of them are found to be valid marriages.

You would have to ask your Diocese if they will accept non-Catholic applications.
 
My Jewish friends understand that I am permitted by my faith to eat pork. They do not take my pork away or prevent me from eating pork, they simply do not come over when we are roasting a suckling pig.

I understand that they feel they can marry over and over again. I choose not to go celebrate the wedding because for me it would be a sin.

Why is mutual respect so difficult for some people to grasp?
The reason is that a marriage is a joyous occasion in people’s lives, and usually eating pig is not. If I was having a pig roast, I would still want my jewish and muslim friends to come anyway and I would make sure that they had kosher and halal foods. If I was getting remarried I wouldn’t want anyone not coming because of their religious beliefs…I would deem it to be offensive to be honest and it would effect my relationship with that person. Thankfully not one Catholic turned down the invitation to my invalid wedding, because that certainly would have effect my relationship with that person.
 
So, you would get offended if your Jewish friend did not eat the pork roast you cooked? He would someone “disrespect” you by honoring his faith?
I would feel disrespected if my jewish or muslim friend decided to not come to my house because I was making pork.
 
I would feel disrespected if my jewish or muslim friend decided to not come to my house because I was making pork.
Wow. For an orthodox Jew, they cannot eat from a non-kosher kitchen. You would want your friend to sin in order to make you happy? How selfish, how arrogant.
 
The reason is that a marriage is a joyous occasion in people’s lives, and usually eating pig is not.
Marriage is something that is raised to a Sacrament, it is not just a romantic party.

What you are talking about is a public celebration of adultery. That is not something that a Catholic can take lightly.
 
The Tribunal does not hand out nullity declarations like candy.
Very few catholics much less non-catholics have a good understanding of what it takes to have a valid marriage, particularly concerning openness to children. If I were a gambling man I would bet on a decree of nullity
There is a long and expensive investigation process, takes at bare minimum 9 months and many times it takes several years. Of the cases that the Tribunal takes, some of them are found to be valid marriages.

You would have to ask your Diocese if they will accept non-Catholic applications.
It usually takes more than 9 months to move past a divorce and find someone else. If the first marriage happened to be found valid I just wouldn’t go to the wedding.
 
Not your place to get in your FILs business.

Support your husband and FIL and NEW MIL … attend the wedding. 🤷
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top