meltzerboy
New member
If you say so LOL Thanks, clare!And look how well you turned out!
Blessings, friend.
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LaughingBoy1503
Well-known member
Heck yeah I would.
I was paying $550 a month to rent a room from my Grandmother until I got my own place. And I am a better man for it I think. Heck yes they will be charged rent. And if they do not want to, their stuff will be out the door. And I mean all this with a lot of love. I do not want to see my kids be as irresponsible as I was in my early 20ās. I will help them, even let rent slide a few months if necessary but I WILL NOT let them take advantage and enable irresponsibility.
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EasterJoy
Guest
It depends very much on the financial situation of the parents and children. Of course parents having trouble saving for their own pending retirement might need adult children to pay rent, even if those children are having trouble making tuition payments!Wow. Amazing how many people wouldnāt expect their ADULT kids to contribute to the household.
If the parents get old and have to live with their children, are they going to pay rent at their childrenās house? If they can and the hosting children need it to make ends meet, sure, they might. If the parents are destitute and the children can afford to take care of them, then of course they wouldnāt. Well, adult children trying to pay their own way through college are often pretty much financially destitute. They can contribute work, but it is better for the overall finances of the family if they donāt pay rent.
Parents who have children who are being responsible with the money the children do have often look at rent as just money that is going to be in their estate when they die and subject to inheritance taxes.
If what you have when you die is going to the child anyway and you know the child would take care of you without rent if the tables were turned, why would you charge rent?
Because thereās nothing wrong with little Timmy learning that he has to pay his way.
Also parents do a heck of a lot for their kids in the first place so why should they pay rent if they need support from kids in later life.
meltzerboy
New member
I had an aunt who thought this way, but a truly āJewish motherā (you donāt have to be Jewish or even female to be one) will never charge their children rent.
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EasterJoy
Guest
My point was that families donāt have to keep track. If the parents see that āLittle Timmyā is doing fine in the financial responsibility department and they find it useful to have him around, why charge rent? It isnāt wrong to ask whatever adult contribution to the household that parents want to ask, certainly theyāre entitled to expect adults in their household to contribute as adults, but it isnāt necessary to charge rent in order to be a good parent, either.
I do not mean that aging parents arenāt owed care by the children they raised. I mean that sometimes adult children arenāt in a position to give what they would like to give and need help from the parents living with them in order to make ends meet. Parents living with one child might particularly want to reimburse that child as they go for the extra cost of taking them in, because it is far easier to do that than to split the estate unevenly in their wills to keep things fair between all their children, those doing elder care and those not doing it.
Parents might want to help children with tuition and donāt have the money for that, but can offer free housing at a great savings to the adult child and a far smaller financial cost to the parents. It is not some automatic disservice to the adult child to do that for him or her.
There was a time when adult children often stayed in their parents home until they married, whatever age that was. I donāt think this lead to irresponsibility in the children.
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Xantippe
Guest
Oooooh!
Iām not saying you should be totally inflexible about it. My idea would be to do it on principle. I paid a bit to my parents when I lived at home and I think it actually helped me to manage my money better.
Obviously if the child canāt afford it one month or has something more important to pay for I wouldnāt keep track in that way.
Obviously if the child canāt afford it one month or has something more important to pay for I wouldnāt keep track in that way.
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Xantippe
Guest
Well, part of this is on the assumption that it wonāt be a long-term deal.Wow. Amazing how many people wouldnāt expect their ADULT kids to contribute to the household.
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angell1
Guest
kids can contribute other ways without it being financial.Wow. Amazing how many people wouldnāt expect their ADULT kids to contribute to the household.
thereās nothing wrong if the parents want to ask for that contribution. however, most didnāt for the major part of history and honestly most cultures are horrified that that idea, besides north americans and certain Europeans.
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angell1
Guest
aww, thanksAngel, youāre welcome in my home any day.
God bless you.
not sure I could survive that heat down in Georgia though
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angell1
Guest
to be honest, thatās how I feel too, more like a source of incomeProbably not rentā¦at least not right away. Maybe if the child had actually moved out for a while and had to come home for some reasonā¦ But then the family dynamic would have changed that such an arrangement would become more palatable for both of us. But most likely not out of college.
After getting my first job, a lot of things suddenly became my responsibility. I had to pay for my clothes, entertainment, gas, car insurance, etc. All that stuff seemed obvious that I would start to take care of it, but when my mom tested the rent waters I remember my first reaction was one of horror. Why was my *mother *proposing we enter a renter/tenant relationship? If she ever had to move into MY future house someday, I wouldnāt have even dreamed of asking for *her *to pay rent.
I know what she meant now that Iām in my 30ās, but I remember feeling suddenly less like a loved one and more like an additional source of income. I must have made quite a face because she never mentioned rent again.
and itās not about the money, I probably would have volunteered to give some anyways. I realize I am not entitled necessarily to live here. I am more then happy to contribute to the household
but I am constantly being told that I am a burder to still have under their roof and how expensive I cost but they feel obligated to help me because I am their child and somehow all the money I am giving them is never enough so they keep increasing the amount
and when I mention I could move out, they get angry that Iām abandoning the family and why would I move out if Iām not married yet?
anyways, full time job acquired now, so hopefully things
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pianistclare
Guest
I have always been appalled at the attitude that you are a burden to your parentsā¦which you have mentioned on several occasions. The fact that you are legally blind, they do want you there for money, and they donāt want you there because they are flat out MEAN and trying to make YOU feel guilty for existing???
ā¦Iām sorry. There are no words. 
If you even more to the U.Sā¦ look us up.
Get your job going, move out, donāt look back. I know you love them, or are trying to love them, but some people are just cruel.
No one should be treated like this.
You have friends here, Weāre rooting for your success.
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angell1
Guest
itās hard to understand too.I have always been appalled at the attitude that you are a burden to your parentsā¦which you have mentioned on several occasions. The fact that you are legally blind, they do want you there for money, and they donāt want you there because they are flat out MEAN and trying to make YOU feel guilty for existing???
If you even more to the U.Sā¦ look us up.
Get your job going, move out, donāt look back. I know you love them, or are trying to love them, but some people are just cruel.
No one should be treated like this.
You have friends here, Weāre rooting for your success.
and the attitude is inconsistent. one day, everything seems fine, the next, itās not. they really have done a lot for me, but then it always seems to come back to bite me later
but Iāve realized itās not about me at all. they have issues and deep wounds that they just pushed under the surface and there are things that trigger them and make them react in very odd ways. Iāve learned to at least try to stop taking everything personally, because I obviously just canāt. too exhausting.
anyways, they never thought anyone would hire me for a job because I canāt see, but I just refused to believe that, so I kept applying everywhere anyways. granted, it was my dad who saw the job posting I got now but I still had to go through the whole process of passing all the tests and all that.
maybe this will at least help them feel like I donāt have a hopeless future
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ShrodingersCat
Guest
My parents didnāt charge me rent during term time at uni (I lived at home). But I had a summer job and no uni fees so I paid rent then. Had I lived at home after uni I would have kept paying rent. I was happy to.
Adults be adults.
Of course if I fall on hard times I know my parents will take me in with open arms. I shall pay them with housework. Donāt plan on that happening though obvs.
I never could see that, either.
Growing up in the U.S. it wasnāt that uncommon to see people kicked out when they turned 18, but usually theyād get advance notice.
That was exactly the deal I had.
Iām sure Mom and Dad felt badly about not being able to help me out financially so I was allowed to live in the family home for free as partial compensation.
My aunt and uncleās kids were āexpectedā to move out of the house and one of my cousins once returned home to find a pool table where his bed used to be. But, their kids could always āborrowā a few thousand whenever they needed it from my uncle, and since Mom and Dad couldnāt help me that way they helped me a little bit with free rent.
During the time period when my mother was around I never had any kind of a good-paying job where I could pay rent to her and still have anything left.
If I had had any kind of an income I would have moved out of the house or paid rent to my mother, and if I could I would have even āsent money home.ā
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starlady88
Guest
My parents never charged me rent, although my mom threatened it a couple times when my brothers and I were teenagers and thought we were āadults.ā 
After high school, I only lived at home during breaks. After college, it took me about four months to find a job and then I moved out of town. My parents are very generous and helpful and I am forever appreciative of that. In fact, they helped me pay rent for the first six months because I was just starting at a low hourly wage and I was part time. After about six months, my pay went up a bit and I became full time, so I was able to pay my expenses. I think my parents would only ever charge rent if I or any of my brothers were still living at home, clearly uninterested in finding a job or another living situation.
I donāt have kids yet, but I donāt think I would do it either. My fiance is Hispanic and it is very normal for adult children (even married adult children) to live with parents. It is interesting because by the time I was in college and had a certain level of independence, I knew I didnāt want to live with my parents forever. I think my fiance thought that was strange, that I would want to move out of my parentsā house.
After high school, I only lived at home during breaks. After college, it took me about four months to find a job and then I moved out of town. My parents are very generous and helpful and I am forever appreciative of that. In fact, they helped me pay rent for the first six months because I was just starting at a low hourly wage and I was part time. After about six months, my pay went up a bit and I became full time, so I was able to pay my expenses. I think my parents would only ever charge rent if I or any of my brothers were still living at home, clearly uninterested in finding a job or another living situation.
I donāt have kids yet, but I donāt think I would do it either. My fiance is Hispanic and it is very normal for adult children (even married adult children) to live with parents. It is interesting because by the time I was in college and had a certain level of independence, I knew I didnāt want to live with my parents forever. I think my fiance thought that was strange, that I would want to move out of my parentsā house.
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pianistclare
Guest
Yeah, Iām amazed at the āletās teach them a lessonā vibe.
**
I rather think that life is hard enough.**
I know well how disappointed my girls were when:
they didnāt make the team
they didnāt go to the prom
they didnāt get voted student body president
they didnāt get a car for their sweet 16
they didnāt go on a Senior trip
they didnāt have perfect skin in high school
they didnāt didnāt get the first job they applied for
their āfriendā betrayed their confidence
their teacher was short with them
their best friend stole a boyfriend
their CD player broke
their dog died
the car they share got rear-ended twice
the car they share got dented when a oak limb fell on it
any any NUMBER of things that happen to people just because thatās life!
I am happy that my daughters have a safe, soft place to fall. Theyāve never once held anything from me, or decided to stop communicating with me. Theyāve always told me the truth.
They are loved beyond measure, and they have lived the hard knock life, particularly when their dad died. Itās enough. I can let them live in my house rent free. Iāll live. They give much more than they take. It was a lovely Motherās Day at my place.
**
I rather think that life is hard enough.**
I know well how disappointed my girls were when:
they didnāt make the team
they didnāt go to the prom
they didnāt get voted student body president
they didnāt get a car for their sweet 16
they didnāt go on a Senior trip
they didnāt have perfect skin in high school
they didnāt didnāt get the first job they applied for
their āfriendā betrayed their confidence
their teacher was short with them
their best friend stole a boyfriend
their CD player broke
their dog died
the car they share got rear-ended twice
the car they share got dented when a oak limb fell on it
any any NUMBER of things that happen to people just because thatās life!
I am happy that my daughters have a safe, soft place to fall. Theyāve never once held anything from me, or decided to stop communicating with me. Theyāve always told me the truth.
They are loved beyond measure, and they have lived the hard knock life, particularly when their dad died. Itās enough. I can let them live in my house rent free. Iāll live. They give much more than they take. It was a lovely Motherās Day at my place.
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JanetF
Guest
Yes if they are not in school, are working. It would probably be a minimal amount to at least cover groceries. Iād also enforce curfew even over the age of 21 because my house is not huge and I need sleep.
Having said that, my daughter will always find a room in our house to live if she needs it and I would be as flexible as possible depending on the circumstances. After graduating from college if she needs some time at home before starting her first job, then sheāll be able to stay with us. I donāt understand kicking kids out after high school graduation. Thatās heartless! If she is unemployed, I would probably expect her to help with chores around the house etc.
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