S
shainski
Guest
As in all relationships - communication is the key.
you need to discuss ahead of time things that could go wrong. You have to express concern that you have that it could lead to a strain on your friendship. And, I think you should come up with a short-term plan. something like :“I’m going to hire a house cleaner for six months to get me through some period when I am really busy at work.”
Because if you don’t have a termination date ahead of time - and at some point, it doesn’t work, then it’s a big deal to end the arrangement.
When you invite someone into your home - it is also possible that that person is exposed to things about you that might make you uncomfortable if a friend were aware of - or even if you don’t know that the friend may have seen something. A message on the answering machine (if anyone has those anymore). A letter from a creditor left on the table. An argument with your spouse.
So, if you want to do this, I would approach it like this. I would invite the friends over for coffee. I would tell them (if you want both of them to work for you - otherwise - just one) that I need some help for a limited amount of time. I would ask them if they are interested - I would clarify what I was going to pay - and what I wanted done. And I would express that I don’t want this arrangement to impair the friendship in any way - both ways. If they unexpectedly quit because they can’t stand working in your house- or if you can’t afford to continue the arrangement. It is unrealistic that there wouldn’t be hard feelings in either of those cases, but at least you discussed it. And then talk about it a lot. And then also bring up that when they are not working, you don’t want to discuss work - that you want your friendship to be as it was before.
And then, remind them periodically that it is for “three more months” or whatever. If everything is going well - you could always pull something at the end like “I know we agreed to do this for six months - but I have become so dependent on what you have done for me - would you consider staying on for another six months?” If it isn’t working out - you don’t offer the extra deal.
And if it creeps into your friendship - try to shut it down gently. If your friend brings up at a social gathering, “I noticed that under your refrigerator hasn’t been cleaned for a while - would you mind if i tackle that job?”. You need to respond : “Thank you - but we did agree not to discuss work while you are off-duty. Let’s not talk about it until you come in on Wednesday.”
And think ahead of time - if you will tip this person - and at Christmas - all those things ahead of time. What would you do if it were someone else? What will you do now.
It’s not that you shouldn’t do this - but explore all the negative things that might occur - and have a plan ahead of time. You can see why it might be easier to just hire someone else.
good luck!
you need to discuss ahead of time things that could go wrong. You have to express concern that you have that it could lead to a strain on your friendship. And, I think you should come up with a short-term plan. something like :“I’m going to hire a house cleaner for six months to get me through some period when I am really busy at work.”
Because if you don’t have a termination date ahead of time - and at some point, it doesn’t work, then it’s a big deal to end the arrangement.
When you invite someone into your home - it is also possible that that person is exposed to things about you that might make you uncomfortable if a friend were aware of - or even if you don’t know that the friend may have seen something. A message on the answering machine (if anyone has those anymore). A letter from a creditor left on the table. An argument with your spouse.
So, if you want to do this, I would approach it like this. I would invite the friends over for coffee. I would tell them (if you want both of them to work for you - otherwise - just one) that I need some help for a limited amount of time. I would ask them if they are interested - I would clarify what I was going to pay - and what I wanted done. And I would express that I don’t want this arrangement to impair the friendship in any way - both ways. If they unexpectedly quit because they can’t stand working in your house- or if you can’t afford to continue the arrangement. It is unrealistic that there wouldn’t be hard feelings in either of those cases, but at least you discussed it. And then talk about it a lot. And then also bring up that when they are not working, you don’t want to discuss work - that you want your friendship to be as it was before.
And then, remind them periodically that it is for “three more months” or whatever. If everything is going well - you could always pull something at the end like “I know we agreed to do this for six months - but I have become so dependent on what you have done for me - would you consider staying on for another six months?” If it isn’t working out - you don’t offer the extra deal.
And if it creeps into your friendship - try to shut it down gently. If your friend brings up at a social gathering, “I noticed that under your refrigerator hasn’t been cleaned for a while - would you mind if i tackle that job?”. You need to respond : “Thank you - but we did agree not to discuss work while you are off-duty. Let’s not talk about it until you come in on Wednesday.”
And think ahead of time - if you will tip this person - and at Christmas - all those things ahead of time. What would you do if it were someone else? What will you do now.
It’s not that you shouldn’t do this - but explore all the negative things that might occur - and have a plan ahead of time. You can see why it might be easier to just hire someone else.
good luck!
I’d be worried they’d never look at me the same way again. 
