E
EasterJoy
Guest
Wow, you’re dyed in the wool, aren’t you!!Even if the Church mandated participation in inane polls such as this one, I still wouldn’t leave her.
Thanks for the laugh!
Wow, you’re dyed in the wool, aren’t you!!Even if the Church mandated participation in inane polls such as this one, I still wouldn’t leave her.
Thanks, that does help a lot.I was just reading recently about St Therese of Lisieux and something that happened to her came to mind reading what you have experienced. She was on kitchen duty and her superior, for some reason that I can’t remember, ordered her to sit on the table and do nothing while she did the washing up. Anyway a group of nuns superior to both of them happened to come by and see Therese not helping, not realizing she had been ordered not to help and she was simply being obedient! They all made judgmental comments about her implying laziness etc and Therese felt humiliated but accepted it as suffering which would help her to grow in humility and she resisted the urge to defend herself.
I know you feel you can’t endure these comments right now, but I just thought I would share in case you relate. God sees the truth even if we are judged unjustly by others.
Thanks that so true. I totally love your idea, I think I will try that. I am totally for them making those changes, just not sure how I could implement it in a way that makes me feel comfortable.I think the best response to “well sometimes you just have to endure the pain” or “maybe if you lose weight” is to just stare at them with your mouth slightly open, as if their cluelessness is intensely bewildering to you, rendering you speechless. Just keep staring at them until they either get their leg into their mouth up to the knee or they find their own way to excuse themselves and walk off. Otherwise, if they just keep babbling, you could eventually just shake your head in bewilderment and wander away. Or you could say, “I… I just don’t even know what to say to a comment like that, I just don’t know where…I’m just without words” and then wander away, repeating your bewildered refusal to respond as necessary.
(I am now picturing your assailant repeating this interchange to her husband at the breakfast table. I hope that when the victim tries to stifle his honest response, the coffee doesn’t come out of his nose.)
I shouldn’t be that way, but I just wanted to point out that you could be thankful that you don’t have to share your kitchen or your bed with a busybody like that!
If you can do the single eyebrow raise, that might be a useful tool as well.Thanks that so true. I totally love your idea, I think I will try that. I am totally for them making those changes, just not sure how I could implement it in a way that makes me feel comfortable.
You are nicer than me. I would tell them off. I’m 29, and have a knee injury from rugby that means kneeling, walking up excessive stairs, etc is very painful. I can walk around, etc., but I have to take it easy when it hurts a lot. I get a lot of people assume that I’m being lazy, but I want to not have a metal knee before I’m 30. If I were to kneel during the Mass, I would need to go the ER.If you can do the single eyebrow raise, that might be a useful tool as well.
I’m sure people should be taught as children that it is EXTREMELY rude ever to make personal comments to people one does not know very, very well. The idea of going up to a stranger and suggesting that they lose weight, well, my parents would die immediately in order to have the opportunity to spin in their graves.
Even I (with continuous but largely useless catechesis as a child) know that it is sinful to speculate about why someone doesn’t go to Communion, or even to notice or remember, as far as it is in my control. I should imagine that whether someone kneels or not, although of course less serious, falls into the same basket. You might consider mentioning your dilemma to your priest, in case he can work a reminder about this into a homily sometime without it seeming obvious.
I really hope that nothing I said earlier was taken by anyone to mean that anyone should just “endure the pain.” That was certainly not my intention. I was merely mentioning that sometimes pain can be a spiritual benefit. Let me make it clear: When I know it’s going to hurt if I kneel, I don’t do it. I wouldn’t kneel at all if a doctor had told me not to. But she hasn’t, so sometimes when I kneel it hurts unexpectedly, and God gives me some grace because of it.
It is hard for me personally to understand doing anything nearly as drastic as leaving the Church just because people are rude, but I realize it is different for different people. I mean, if someone actually came up to me and told me to lose weight, I am quite capable of saying to them, “Did you seriously just walk up to a stranger and tell them to lose weight? What were you, raised in a barn? Oh, and incidentally, are you aware that you’re not fooling anyone with that dye job/toupe/outfit appropriate to someone half your age?”(Well, really I’m only capable of actually saying the first two sentences. The rest would just be said really loud inside my head.) It hasn’t happened (and not because I’m too skinny, because I’m not), and now I almost wish it would.
–Jen
I spend an hour a day in adoration and someone came up to me and “informed me” that I should be kneeling in front of the monstrance when it get in and out of the pew. I explained that I have severe degenerative arthritis and they said, “well sometimes you just have to endure the pain”…they don’t get it, I will not be able to get up and the doctor has said that putting pressure on my knees isn’t good. Sadly have the same arthritis in my hip and my neck. It’s hereditary as my father has it and his neck is totally fused from it. I’ve had people say, “Maybe if you lose weight” and I have to launch into a long explanation of how this is NOT osteoarthritis. And how to you explain my neck then? Should my head lose weight. I get tired of the explanations ant this is in a church where we stand but a lot of people kneel and almost everyone already receives COTT. I would simply not be able to stand the constant barrage from certain people. Sorry I’m not a super holy person or not someone that can “endure” comments. I just do not want to go through all that.
It makes absolutely NO sense to profess to be Catholic and belief in Christ in the Eucharist only to up and leave if/when a position of adoration (and tradition mode of reception of the sacred species) is mandated in respect to Holy Communion. If that is God, why not be glad to fall to your knees before him, and receive him in such a fashion that there is no [ordinary] chance that any part of the sacred species will be wasted?I hear so much back and fort about this argument and just curious to see if people would actually leave for another church or stay if/when Rome mandates communion on the toungue kneeling. Please give response for your answer.
Well, as much as we’d like to step in, those of us not burdened with the pastoral office of correcting others have no more room to correct busybodies than they have to correct their chosen victims. (Rescuing victims, however, is a great work of mercy!!)If you can do the single eyebrow raise, that might be a useful tool as well.
I’m sure people should be taught as children that it is EXTREMELY rude ever to make personal comments to people one does not know very, very well. The idea of going up to a stranger and suggesting that they lose weight, well, my parents would die immediately in order to have the opportunity to spin in their graves.
Even I (with continuous but largely useless catechesis as a child) know that it is sinful to speculate about why someone doesn’t go to Communion, or even to notice or remember, as far as it is in my control. I should imagine that whether someone kneels or not, although of course less serious, falls into the same basket. You might consider mentioning your dilemma to your priest, in case he can work a reminder about this into a homily sometime without it seeming obvious.
I really hope that nothing I said earlier was taken by anyone to mean that anyone should just “endure the pain.” That was certainly not my intention. I was merely mentioning that sometimes pain can be a spiritual benefit. Let me make it clear: When I know it’s going to hurt if I kneel, I don’t do it. I wouldn’t kneel at all if a doctor had told me not to. But she hasn’t, so sometimes when I kneel it hurts unexpectedly, and God gives me some grace because of it.
It is hard for me personally to understand doing anything nearly as drastic as leaving the Church just because people are rude, but I realize it is different for different people. I mean, if someone actually came up to me and told me to lose weight, I am quite capable of saying to them, “Did you seriously just walk up to a stranger and tell them to lose weight? What were you, raised in a barn? Oh, and incidentally, are you aware that you’re not fooling anyone with that dye job/toupe/outfit appropriate to someone half your age?”(Well, really I’m only capable of actually saying the first two sentences. The rest would just be said really loud inside my head.) It hasn’t happened (and not because I’m too skinny, because I’m not), and now I almost wish it would.
–Jen
On the bright side for you…at least they are doing away with the “pastoral” sentence when they are talking about the norm for the US.Since I did not leave when for all practical purposes the American Church mandated standing for Communion and strongly discouraged COTT, why would I leave if they came back to their senses and started doing things right again?
NOT ME!=Eric_Olsen;8247194]I hear so much back and fort about this argument and just curious to see if people would actually leave for another church or stay if/when Rome mandates communion on the toungue kneeling. Please give response for your answer.