Would you stand for a blessing after mass on Mother's Day if your only child(ren) died?

[Incomplete]

Hey, I know this is an old thread but I just wanted to let everyone know that my anxiety about this was all in vain.

I went to mass today and the priest asked all mother’s to stand “including those who have lost children through miscarriage.” He also included women who nurture others in some way.

Thank you for the update. This made my night.

 

[LilyM]

Absolutely. Several reasons.

First: My first child was
unexpectedly stillborn at term. This was 25 years
ago when people said “well he never drew a breath
so it’s not like you knew him. Don’t be melodramatc.”
Except for Compassionate Friends grief support
did not exist. Except for the mortuary and Church
no one understood why we were having a funeral.
Basically YOU have to stand for that miscarried
little person as silent witness that he/she was an
actual human being.

For me it’s a bit different. He died on Mothers Day
that year so some years it is both his birthday and
death day. Mothers Day has always been a very
hard day for me even with more children because
of that. But it is even more reason for me to stand.

Second: your child has been taken but not
your motherhood. You will always be the child’s
mother into eternity. Nothing can change that.

Third: you may, like me, have more children. My
children, especially my daughter, pestered me
with questions about her older brother. When
she was old enough and married and ready to
have children her upbringing taught her the stillborn/
miscarried child was a true human person, abortion
was OBVIOUSLY wrong, and when she miscarried
herself once, she had no confusion like I experienced.
She was able to get the help she needed and
now has two living children to pass this info on to.

Fourth: Mary was not less of a Mother because Her Son
was crucified.

Reasons to Stand: God’s Opinion
Reasons to Not Stand: Worldly opinion.

There are so many godly reasons NOT to stand and so many worldly reasons TO stand that your summary is overly simplistic.

Jesus many times told people not to publicise His miracles and deflected attention from Himself to the Father. He also warns us against doing good in a way that seeks public recognition or attention.

For some, there are temptations to pride to be battled, for others perhaps pain or scandal surrounding the circumstances of their motherhood which might make it more prudent to remain seated, and as has been pointed out such receive the blessing just as surely as those who stand.

In short no one size fits all answer.

 

[LilyM]

Hey, I know this is an old thread but I just wanted to let everyone know that my anxiety about this was all in vain.

I went to mass today and the priest asked all mother’s to stand “including those who have lost children through miscarriage.” He also included women who nurture others in some way.

In other words all women really. I work with children in a way that can probably be described as nurturing, but then again I get paid to do so. There’s a vast difference between myself and someone who has borne and/or reared or helped rear a child freely and out of pure love.

 

[Stella_Matutina]

In other words all women really. I work with children in a way that can probably be described as nurturing, but then again I get paid to do so. There’s a vast difference between myself and someone who has borne and/or reared or helped rear a child.

I didn’t mention this in my earlier post but in his homily he talked about how God made man in his own image and likeness “Male and female he created them.” He explained how a woman’s nature to be nurturing, caring, and loving is a reflection of God’s image. So, his point was, there really isn’t this “vast difference” that you referred to between a woman who has borne and/or reared a child and a woman who has not. Deep down we are all created in this same image of God.

Women who have raised children deserve respect, reverence, and special blessings. But I don’t believe that him asking pretty much, all women to stand (some women, mostly young teenage-looking women stayed seated) was undermining to women who have raised children. I think he was just trying to be inclusive and recognize those who haven’t been able to raise biological children. Whatever the reason or justification, I really appreciated it!