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Erikaspirit16
Guest
In terms of inappropriate behavior, yes. And neither understands why. They should.
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Erikaspirit16
Guest
This seems like the 1 millionth post I’ve made on this. Here goes 1 more. As for the “greeter” outside church, my main problem is with the specific word “welcome.” If the greeter said “I am happy you came, it really means a lot that you are here,” it would still bother me, but not nearly as much.
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1neophyte
Guest
Thank YOU. I usually give up around here when it’s clear that everyone is going to refuse to understand the point and persist in their confusion. I appreciate you fighting the good fight and still trying to make this very valid and important point.
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misspriss
Guest
I honestly think you are the one who’s expectations are outside the realm of normal if this is how you see it.
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1neophyte
Guest
You’re tempting me to get some video at mass this weekend to provide you with evidence that this is EXACTLY what goes on.
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1neophyte
Guest
Nope. It’s definitely yours.
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misspriss
Guest
Perhaps at your parish, I have NEVER seen such behavior in church, of any denomination. People smile and greet people, but nothing more than a “Good morning” or even just a smile and handshake.
I’m not the only person on this thread who has expressed that it is NBD that there is a 30 second greeting, in fact, I think the NBD-ers are the majority. There are a select few that see it as you do, as some kind of crass abominable behavior, which could not be farther from how apparently most people feel - otherwise they wouldn’t be greeting each other.
When you opinion is so far from that of the majority, you need to reexamine if your expectations are within the social norm, and why. If this were something objectively sinful, such as murder, or more social based, gay marriage, there is specific church teaching that tells you what your opinion on the social behavior should be. Obviously the church is endorsing this behavior as a social norm, so you need to ask yourself why you are the outlier.
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1neophyte
Guest
No, it’s not respectful and polite. Bringing up showering and dressing and crossing oneself just shows that you’re missing the point entirely. The point is not how things appear. The preparation that one undergoes before mass is interior, not exterior. Well-meaning but phony greetings interrupt the interior preparation. This is what is offensive and intrusive.
BTW, if you’re concerned about politeness and respect, why are you making no effort to understand the point we’re trying to make? I assure you, that causes a far lonelier feeling than not saying “welcome” to someone.
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1neophyte
Guest
Interesting. So if at some point the church “endorses” behavior such as gay marriage, and the “majority” follows, will I need to reexamine my expectations then as well? Because I can provide you with examples of that already happening.
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revert_jen
Guest
Last week it was me. I had an allergy attack. Nothing in any way contagious. I sneezed into a tissue. Didn’t cough, did blow nose. At the sign of peace, everyone looked at me like I was Typhoid Mary. I mentioned allergies and extended my hand to a couple of people who pointedly refused to respond.A small change in the Topic…
One Sunday I was watching a man sneezing, coughing & blowing his nose during the Mass. When it was time for the sign of peace, he ran over to everyone around him and extended his hand to shake.
I was so happy I was in another section…I would have walked out.
The sign of peace should only be for people with normal intelligence.
I wonder how many people got the flu from those around them at Mass?
I have more than normal intelligence. You can’t catch allergies. I find the sign of peace is more likely to make me feel more isolated than otherwise (as everyone hugs and kisses all of their children and hasn’t time for anyone else), and I think the meet-and-greet before Mass would be the same.
I’d do it if the priest said so, but I’m glad we don’t do it.
–Jen
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misspriss
Guest
Actually I was paraphrasing Erikaspirit16’s post. The one I was responding to.
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SuperHappy
Guest
Ok, the reality for a majority of people is that there is an expectation to be welcomed into a place of worship. Especially when there is an active campaign telling them to “come back and be welcomed with open arms.” Many in our society are dying to have a real connection with people. The fact that the Catholic Church advertises using those words makes it obvious that the Church also knows this is a need.
You say, they receive the body and blood of Christ which is the most necessary and sacred part of the Mass and of the Faith so they should not be disappointed. I agree with that as well, everyone who is blessed to receive the sacrament should be well satisfied in spiritually from that holy meal. But for a person who has been away from the Church and is attempting to return, do you not realize that WE are the hands and feet of Christ in this world? It is OUR job to make disciples in all the world. And if WE refuse to welcome others or assume that these people don’t want or require some way to introduce themselves then WE are in error.
Whether that time should be in the one minute before the first hymn or at the very end of the service, the Pastor knows it needs to happen. People never know how much a mall interaction that seems like nothing can mean to someone else.
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misspriss
Guest
I have not heard of the Catholic church accepting homosexual marriage. Please provide evidence of this shift.
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1neophyte
Guest
Check out Fr. James Martin’s book.
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misspriss
Guest
Does his book represent a change in the teachings of the Church?
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misspriss
Guest
I come from the perspective of an adult convert. I am the only Catholic in my family (besides my very small kids). I do not have support from my family (in fact, downright animosity from some). I do not feel support from my church. How am I to raise my kids Catholic on my own? I go to mass, sometimes I can’t have communion because it is hard to get to confession. I feel like I’m just going through the motions, aside from shaking the deacon’s hand on the way out, it’s pretty much like I wasn’t even there. I don’t feel like my church, or anyone in my church, cares about me or my wellbeing.
If the people on this board are representative of the church, the ambassadors of the faith to the outside world, it doesn’t make me feel very hopeful for any change.
If the people on this board are representative of the church, the ambassadors of the faith to the outside world, it doesn’t make me feel very hopeful for any change.
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Millie123
Guest
Yes, and in your posts you seem to be creating a dichotomy. The people who want to welcome their brothers and sisters in Christ to the mass. Somehow, dont understand the holiness of the mass vs. Those who dont want greeting, who have a fuller understanding of the solemnity of the mass. I think there is a dichotomy that you are creating.
Your post reminds me of female Saint I once read about. I believe it was St Gertrude but, Ive read so much about the Saints I could be completely wrong. Anyways, this Saint belonged to a cloister and she received visions of our Lord. In her vision one time she was duscussing one of her fellow sisters with Jesus. This Saint, was quite concerned because she herself viwed our Lord as a kind lover. Versus her fellow sister who viewed Jesus as a stern father. This caricature bothered this Saint greatly. Jesus told this Saint not to be bothered with how this other sister viewed him. That this other view from the other sister helps to sanctify her. That there is no dichotomy.
In a similare way, My view of your post is that there is no dichotomy in the mass. Yes, for many the mass is joyful…and those who want to welcome others to the celebration are sharing this welcome and joy with their fellow parishioners. Out of my siblings I am the only one who is a practicing Catholic. If I ever see any of my siblings in mass Id surely give them the biggest welcome, they would know my joy with the mass. That does not mean that there is a dichotomy, between my understanding of the holiness of the mass vs. Those who dont want to welcome anyone
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revert_jen
Guest
Maybe you could talk to your pastor about it? I’m really sorry for your situation, and admire your resolution to stick to the Truth even when it is hard. But although I would be more than happy to have a cup of coffee with you (well, actually I wouldn’t, because I don’t drink coffee, but if I can have some tea while you drink coffee or whatever you like, that would be great
), I have to agree with others that a “Hi, howaya,” before Mass isn’t going to make any real difference, and just makes shy people uncomfortable. But maybe your pastor knows people who would be glad to fellowship with you or maybe mothers’ groups you could join, or whatever.–Jen
Mark121359
Well-known member
No. Not at this time. But there are some, even in the hierarchy, who are working on it. Many here forget that prior to the Synod there was a ‘Shadow council’ held at the Pontifical Gregorian University in Rome to try to sway the Synod in that direction. See below;
Confidential Meeting Seeks to Sway Synod to Accept Same-Sex Unions
‘Shadow council’ speaker pushes Church acceptance of contraception, gay sex
Peace, Mark
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Irishmom2
Guest
This thread is beginning to go off topic, but I will say your sources are from 2015. Nothing has changed in the Catholic Church. The “shadow council” had their opinions and nothing has changed. One look at the comments there will show that most readers found the meeting to be useless and not following Catholic beliefs.
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