WWYD? "Please stand and greet your neighbor."

[1neophyte]

I would hide in the restroom until I heard the opening hymn begin.

 

[pnewton]

Nope, no typo. By saying “Good morning” what he is really saying is either “I don’t know that ‘Peace be with you’ is a greeting” or “you in the congregation don’t know that ‘Peace be with you’ is a greeting, and I’d better say ‘Good morning’ because you are so ignorant.” Either way, I hate it because it shows lack of understanding.

Maybe the priest believes it shows a better understanding of what Mass is. While Jesus is present in the altar, he is also present in the faithful, in a real and substantial way. He made it clear that the kindness we show others is really showing kindness to him. Also, the lack of charity we show each other is actually treating Him with a lack of charity. There is more than one way to show disrespect to the presence of Christ at Mass.

No, I think the priest has a good grasp of what Mass is.

 

[BoomBoomMancini]

If, before Mass, the priest tells us to stand and greet our neighbors, I don’t just sit and stare straight ahead, but I say “I don’t think this is the appropriate time or place for this” and refuse to shake hands. It’s called principles. And yes, after Mass outside the church itself is the correct time and place for any and all socializing. I don’t go to Mass to socialize. I go to pray.

A brief handshake and a “good morning” does not violate any meaningful principle. I’m all for solemnity, but there is such a thing as being too tightly wound.

If the priest said, “Before we start the Mass, let’s all hang out and discuss the latest episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and take pictures for Instagram”, that would be highly inappropriate. But I don’t think a “good morning” means you’re turning Mass into a social function.

Again, I agree generally that the place for socializing is after Mass, and we should respect that some people use the time before Mass for silent prayer, but I don’t want to overstate it either. Saying “good morning” is not turning the Mass into Carnivale.

 

[Erikaspirit16]

“Lack of understanding”.
That’s for sure not a typo.
I think you are being quite uncharitable to the priest in these statements.
Maybe read up on some church documents on liturgy.
The guys who graduated from seminary and have been ordained know what they are doing. Really they do.

Wow. I can’t let that pass. Have you read GIRM? usccb.org/prayer-and-worship/the-mass/general-instruction-of-the-roman-missal/ I should read up? I’ve got it almost memorized.

When was the last time you saw this (which is mandated in GRIM): "If extraordinary ministers of Holy Communion are required by pastoral need, they should not approach the altar before the priest has received Communion. " I’m going to take a wild guess and say never.

Or how about this one: the choir singing during the Consecration? This happened regularly at my parish. There’s even a thread on this web site about it (not my thread…) forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=45753 The priest can sing the words of the consecration if he chooses, but there should not be any music playing and certainly not any singing by the cantor, choir, etc.

I could go on and on, but I invite you to print out GIRM, highlight some sections, and go through it after you go to Mass. I remember a couple years ago I had to (this is not a joke) go outside and look at the sign again to make sure I was actually in a Catholic church. I was, at least in name. Have I talked to various priests? Yes, I have.

 

[Erikaspirit16]

Maybe the priest believes it shows a better understanding of what Mass is.

I could be misinterpreting what you’re saying, but what I understand from your post is that each priest is free to do his own thing? Groovy.

 

[pnewton]

What would you do in this scenario?

What’s your take?

If it is such an issue, I would stay kneeling with my eyes closed. However, if it takes a minute, you only have to arrive a minute earlier, not ten or fifteen minutes earlier, to have the same amount of time. I can see where this might be an issue the first time or two this happens. But if it is expected, compensating for a minute should not be difficult.

 

[pnewton]

I could be misinterpreting what you’re saying, but what I understand from your post is that each priest is free to do his own thing? Groovy.

I think you both understand, but exaggerated what I said quite unfairly. Based on your restatement of my post, perhaps judging your priest was not wise. If one is going to assume the role of liturgical police, at the very least precision is essential.

 

[Irishmom2]

Wow. I can’t let that pass. Have you read GIRM? usccb.org/prayer-and-worship/the-mass/general-instruction-of-the-roman-missal/ I should read up? I’ve got it almost memorized.

When was the last time you saw this (which is mandated in GRIM): "If extraordinary ministers of Holy Communion are required by pastoral need, they should not approach the altar before the priest has received Communion. " I’m going to take a wild guess and say never.

Or how about this one: the choir singing during the Consecration? This happened regularly at my parish. There’s even a thread on this web site about it (not my thread…) forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=45753 The priest can sing the words of the consecration if he chooses, but there should not be any music playing and certainly not any singing by the cantor, choir, etc.

I could go on and on, but I invite you to print out GIRM, highlight some sections, and go through it after you go to Mass. I remember a couple years ago I had to (this is not a joke) go outside and look at the sign again to make sure I was actually in a Catholic church. I was, at least in name. Have I talked to various priests? Yes, I have.

I found your comments to pianistclare to be rather uncharitable. I am pretty sure that having worked for the church for I don’t know how many years as a DRE as well as her educational credentials, pianistclare has read the GIRM. I don’t know why you have it almost memorized, but maybe you shouldn’t have. It sounds like you have a problem with way more things than a greeting before mass. I would suggest you speak to your parish priest about your issues instead of attacking random strangers on the Internet. Last time I checked, people are allowed to speak, not just the ones that agree with our own feelings.

 

[1neophyte]

I found your comments to pianistclare to be rather uncharitable. I am pretty sure that having worked for the church for I don’t know how many years as a DRE as well as her educational credentials, pianistclare has read the GIRM. I don’t know why you have it almost memorized, but maybe you shouldn’t have. It sounds like you have a problem with way more things than a greeting before mass. I would suggest you speak to your parish priest about your issues instead of attacking random strangers on the Internet. Last time I checked, people are allowed to speak, not just the ones that agree with our own feelings.

I find this response to Erikaspirit to be very uncharitable.

 

[pnewton]

I understand the backlash against what has been described as “happy-clappy”, that is to say, a very horizontal understanding of the liturgy. I have seen here at CAF an equally fallacious understanding of Mass that I can only describe as “Me and Jesus got our own thing going.” Mass was never supposed to be a place where we come isolated from our fellow Catholics, arriving and departing in silence. Whether this priest is addressing this in the right way is beyond me, but if his parish had an issue with private, isolated Catholics, what he is doing may well be a solid pastoral decision.

 

[1neophyte]

I understand the backlash against what has been described as “happy-clappy”, that is to say, a very horizontal understanding of the liturgy. I have seen here at CAF an equally fallacious understanding of Mass that I can only describe as “Me and Jesus got our own thing going.” Mass was never supposed to be a place where we come isolated from our fellow Catholics, arriving and departing in silence. Whether this priest addressing this in the right way is beyond me, but if his parish had an issue with private, isolated Catholics, what he is doing may well be a solid pastoral decision.

Are you saying that there is an innate problem with being private and isolated? At any given mass, it is almost guaranteed that there is at least one person present who is going through something difficult that would make it very uncomfortable to be compelled to offer compulsory friendly greetings to their neighbor. Yet you say that mass should NEVER be a place where we enter and depart in silence? That seems very unfair and inconsiderate. Why not be respectful enough to leave it up to each one to decide if they want to be sociable? Some people really are there simply to be “alone” with Jesus.

 

[Richard_White]

For a time we did this at our parish. It was at most a minute. I didn’t love it, but I didn’t get worked up about it, either.

What I really prefer is actual fellowship after Mass. Preferably with donuts and coffee.

Yes, fellowship after Mass is the way to go. At the University Church at my school, they have a Hospitality thing after Mass on the first Sunday of every month.

May God bless you all!

 

[Granum_Frumenti]

What would you do in this scenario?

My answer would significantly depend on how the community treats those who do not participate in this greeting.

 

[Erikaspirit16]

I’m going to bow out of all this because it just makes me angry, and I don’t need that.

But a couple of final comments. First, this whole thread shows a divide in the approach to Mass. The first step is to acknowledge there is ‘another side’. I certainly do. The second step is to realize that people on the more ‘traditional’ side are not somehow uncharitable, misogynistic, stupid, etc. etc. and that forcing them to conform to what you think are great ideas is not helpful. I am not going to try and force you to sing only Gregorian chant. Why are you trying to force me to have a hugfest before Mass? I attended an RCIA class a couple years ago to do research. One night the presenter (a deacon, no less) spent 10 minutes unleashing a tirade of ridicule and contempt for what he called (I’m quoting) “unreconstructed pre-Vatican II Catholics.” This certainly made me feel included, valued, and loved. Charity goes both ways.

And yes, I have found a Latin Mass a mere 30 miles away. But someone needs to explain to me why I should be forced to make a 60-mile round trip to attend Mass when there is a Catholic church two blocks away.

 

[Erikaspirit16]

I understand the backlash against what has been described as “happy-clappy”, that is to say, a very horizontal understanding of the liturgy. I have seen here at CAF an equally fallacious understanding of Mass that I can only describe as “Me and Jesus got our own thing going.” Mass was never supposed to be a place where we come isolated from our fellow Catholics, arriving and departing in silence. Whether this priest is addressing this in the right way is beyond me, but if his parish had an issue with private, isolated Catholics, what he is doing may well be a solid pastoral decision.

Read “Peasant of the Garonne” by Jacques Maritain.

 

[pnewton]

Are you saying that there is an innate problem with being private and isolated? …That seems very unfair and inconsiderate…

So be fair with me. I did not say there was an innate problem with this. I worded it as a conditional statement. You have pointed out some instances where such an attitude is quite understandable. However, if one is always like that, it is not what Jesus taught, that is, it is not Christianity, nor is it the Mass in its totality, which is a communal liturgy. I can understand there are some with mental illness that might not be capable of living out all that Christ calls us to, but they should be an exception. There may be other exceptions. But the life of Christ and the Sacrament of the Eucharist is ordered to the service of Christ, not just our own spirituality. The response to, “Let us go forth to love and serve one another” is “Thanks be to God,” not, “No thanks, God.”

 

[Oneofthewomen]

I’m going to bow out of all this because it just makes me angry, and I don’t need that.

But a couple of final comments. First, this whole thread shows a divide in the approach to Mass. The first step is to acknowledge there is ‘another side’. I certainly do. The second step is to realize that people on the more ‘traditional’ side are not somehow uncharitable, misogynistic, stupid, etc. etc. and that forcing them to conform to what you think are great ideas is not helpful. I am not going to try and force you to sing only Gregorian chant. Why are you trying to force me to have a hugfest before Mass? I attended an RCIA class a couple years ago to do research. One night the presenter (a deacon, no less) spent 10 minutes unleashing a tirade of ridicule and contempt for what he called (I’m quoting) “unreconstructed pre-Vatican II Catholics.” This certainly made me feel included, valued, and loved. Charity goes both ways.

And yes, I have found a Latin Mass a mere 30 miles away. But someone needs to explain to me why I should be forced to make a 60-mile round trip to attend Mass when there is a Catholic church two blocks away.

No one is forcing you to do anything. You can choose to go to whatever parish you want.

Mass is not about “me” and what “I” want. Mass is a communal celebration of the saving act of love of Jesus Christ - for all of us!!

It saddens me to see so many people who don’t want to even take a minute to say “good morning” to the person next to them at Church. What are we becoming?

 

[ConfusedLucy]

Fellowship after Mass has its limitations as well. People talk to people they already know. How often does anyone go up to a stranger – assuming the stranger even stops for coffee and donuts – to introduce themselves and welcome the newbie?

I’ve never had any luck here. If we had pre-mass greetings it could potentially act as an icebreaker.

 

[1neophyte]

No one is forcing you to do anything. You can choose to go to whatever parish you want.

Mass is not about “me” and what “I” want. Mass is a communal celebration of the saving act of love of Jesus Christ - for all of us!!

It saddens me to see so many people who don’t want to even take a minute to say “good morning” to the person next to them at Church. What are we becoming?

So first you say that mass isn’t about what “I” want, but then you say it makes you sad when people don’t behave the way “you” want. Do you not see the problem with that?

 

[truetofaith]

Many if not most Catholic Churches I attend do this before Sunday Mass.
It takes 30 seconds or less - it is not a 5 or 10 minute thing.

I am not big on socializing with strangers at Mass because I don’t attend Mass for the community interaction, but I realize some other people are concerned with feeling friendly and welcome, and that this feature has been added in large part to try to make Catholics come out of their shells and be less standoffish, plus it’s very short. No need to have a conversation.

I nod, smile and say Good Morning and it’s over in an eye blink. No biggie.

Our parish does the same…stand & greet ( wave & smile or shake hands ) 10 or 15 seconds at the most then the Mass starts.