WWYD? "Please stand and greet your neighbor."

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Not really. Just keep kneeling in prayer. Or will a spotlight point you out and the ushers descend upon you and forcibly lift you to your feet lol?

I have never seen this in any parish I was a member of. I know it won’t be done in my current parish as it is Traditional. There are meet and greets after Mass though.

No spotlight, but yes, those around you WILL force a greeting. There is 8 of us in the pew in our family, so they will find the weak link and thrust themselves at us. To prove how welcoming they are.

All kidding aside. No, you could not avoid this for any length of time. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if you did this that Father himself would walk right over to you and force a greeting.

I also think it’s common in certain geographies. In the Midwest we didn’t really see it. But in the northwest, I’d be shocked to hear of a parish within 500 miles and 4 diocese that didn’t do this!

Some on here have expressed surprise that this happens which leads me to believe it’s geographically.
I wish we had access to an EF parish in our diocese! Lucky…

 

[EasterJoy]

It sounds like a perfectly normal practice to me, but I grew up baptist, so there is that.

I have to admit, I do feel most catholics are standoffish. I’ve been catholic since 2012. I don’t know any more catholic people now than I did in 2012. The people who I know I met in RCIA (like the director and people who volunteer, not other members of the church). The only people who speak to me at mass are the greeters, who are always the same people. Saying “Good morning!” and opening the door for me are nice, but that doesn’t foster community.

I usually attend mass alone, as my husband is not catholic and doesn’t attend with me. No church I have attended has had a coffee & donut hour, it isn’t really done around here I guess.

That said, I don’t think a 30 second “forced” greet each other at the beginning of mass will do much to change things.

I’ve mainly gotten to know people in parishes I’ve been in by volunteering. It marks you out as someone who wants to be involved in parish life and welcomes a closer relationship with other parishioners.

 

[misspriss]

I’ve mainly gotten to know people in parishes I’ve been in by volunteering. It marks you out as someone who wants to be involved in parish life and welcomes a closer relationship with other parishioners.

There may be a time in my life when I have free time to volunteer, but at this time. I’ve got two, soon to be three young children which we plan to homeschool (which we will be starting this fall). Between pregnancy and little kids, I barely have time to keep my family taken care of right now. Maybe in the future I guess. I’d love to meet other catholic moms of young kids though, but understanding how little time I have I see why there are not things organized. Just succeeds in making me feel alone in my faith though, since my husband is not catholic.

 

[Perian]

Wow, this really took off.

Okay, here’s another question for those of you who don’t mind this custom, or are in favor of it.

Do you feel like it actually accomplishes any actual community building within the parish?

I think my OP was misread by a few-- this greeting is not 10-15 minutes, that’s how early we tend to land at Mass when we aim for “early” rather than “Excuse me, Father, may I squeeze by you?” The greeting is all of 30 seconds and then it’s over, as other people have stated as is customary at their parishes.

But is 30 seconds of greeting 4-6 people around you doing anything? Are you connecting? Developing friendships? We usually don’t even exchange names. It just seems like a display of friendliness that does not actually promote fellowship or friendship. As was guessed, we aren’t in Georgia but we are in the Deep South. Standard friendliness is not an issue at all.

It just seems to me like parishioners who are likely to keep to themselves, talk to who they know, or leave immediately are going to do that anyway, whether or not they’re peer pressured into shaking your hand and smiling at you before Mass. Outgoing people are outgoing. Shy people are shy.

Like I said, it doesn’t bother me nearly as much as it does my husband, but I do find myself quietly resenting the loss of quiet prayerfulness before Mass. I’m simply not in a place in life to be able to attend Adoration, so being able to be in a relatively quiet church, near the True Presence, while my children still have some stillness left in their little bodies is something I cherish. Sorry if that’s very self-centered, isolated, and stand-offish of this ragged mother

 

[johnnyc176]

No spotlight, but yes, those around you WILL force a greeting. There is 8 of us in the pew in our family, so they will find the weak link and thrust themselves at us. To prove how welcoming they are.

All kidding aside. No, you could not avoid this for any length of time. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if you did this that Father himself would walk right over to you and force a greeting.

I also think it’s common in certain geographies. In the Midwest we didn’t really see it. But in the northwest, I’d be shocked to hear of a parish within 500 miles and 4 diocese that didn’t do this!

Some on here have expressed surprise that this happens which leads me to believe it’s geographically.
I wish we had access to an EF parish in our diocese! Lucky…

I’m havin’ fun with this.

Ushers - Father this one here won’t participate.

Priest (in a kindly voice) - What is your name son?

Priest (in a sterner voice) - What is your name!

Priest (in a loud angry voice) - GIVE US YOUR NAME!

Priest - Okay boys give him the treatment.

As the ushers slowly wave a doughnut in front of the person’s face the priest says…We don’t like to do this but you are forcing our hand. If you don’t give us your name you will be forced to fellowship with us however you will be denied doughnuts. Now be a good lad and tell us your name.

Person (whispering) - Fredrico

Usher (loudly as he sticks the doughnut under Fredrico’s nose) - YOUR FULL NAME!

Fredrico (breaking down) - Jimenez…Fredrico Jiminez.

Priest - now isn’t that better. You may sit now but don’t entertain any thoughts about escaping in the crowd after Mass. Miss Catchem, the head of the welcoming committee is not called ol’ eagle eye for nothing.

 

[pianistclare]

I understand the backlash against what has been described as “happy-clappy”, that is to say, a very horizontal understanding of the liturgy. I have seen here at CAF an equally fallacious understanding of Mass that I can only describe as “Me and Jesus got our own thing going.” Mass was never supposed to be a place where we come isolated from our fellow Catholics, arriving and departing in silence. Whether this priest is addressing this in the right way is beyond me, but if his parish had an issue with private, isolated Catholics, what he is doing may well be a solid pastoral decision.

Very true. Parish is isolated in that there are two DISTINCT groups that really don’t want to participate with each other. Our Pastor wants unity. Those who think there is only ONE WAY (their way, generally) to do anything are making the spiritual growth and the outreach of the parish nearly impossible. The ol d"we never used to do it that way" is tiresome for a priest that sees a need, and is trying to gently nudge people along into being a family, not just a place where you cover your bases with God.
Christ never said just do the bare minimum and you’ll be fine.
He expected the Apostles to befriend the lonely, the poor, the disenfranchised.
Many of the people would not ever meet a person of another race or color on their own, but for Mass bringing us together. It’s a good thing, and it works. So long as it doesn’t go on forever.
I find it interesting that people use the excuse that “Mass is already over” for things like leaving early, (not on this thread, but I’ve seen ti on CAF) but doing something prior to Mass actually beginning is viewed as terrible.

 

[pianistclare]

Wow, this really took off.

Okay, here’s another question for those of you who don’t mind this custom, or are in favor of it.

Do you feel like it actually accomplishes any actual community building within the parish?

I think my OP was misread by a few-- this greeting is not 10-15 minutes, that’s how early we tend to land at Mass when we aim for “early” rather than “Excuse me, Father, may I squeeze by you?” The greeting is all of 30 seconds and then it’s over, as other people have stated as is customary at their parishes.

But is 30 seconds of greeting 4-6 people around you doing anything? Are you connecting? Developing friendships? We usually don’t even exchange names. It just seems like a display of friendliness that does not actually promote fellowship or friendship. As was guessed, we aren’t in Georgia but we are in the Deep South. Standard friendliness is not an issue at all.
**No, but prejudice against others who are different still is. **

**It’s not meant to develop a friendship. That’s simplistic.
It’s meant to open doors. Which it does very well. **

It just seems to me like parishioners who are likely to keep to themselves, talk to who they know, or leave immediately are going to do that anyway, whether or not they’re peer pressured into shaking your hand and smiling at you before Mass. Outgoing people are outgoing. Shy people are shy.

**Oh goodness. How much effort does it take to say good morning? That’s not shy, that’s “has a social problem”. **

Like I said, it doesn’t bother me nearly as much as it does my husband, but I do find myself quietly resenting the loss of quiet prayerfulness before Mass.

**Why? The Mass begins shortly. Do you resent the choir singing? **

I’m simply not in a place in life to be able to attend Adoration, so being able to be in a relatively quiet church, near the True Presence, while my children still have some stillness left in their little bodies is something I cherish. Sorry if that’s very self-centered, isolated, and stand-offish of this ragged mother

**it’s not an either / or. When you kidsa re older, they will be asked to participate in community service with sick people (caroling at a nursing home), homeless people (making and serving food, sandwiches), repairing homes with Habitat or Catholic Heart Work Camp or on a Mission trip. They’ll be way more comfortable and get much more out of it if they experience signs of fellowship and community on the turf of their home parish.
Its not a bad thing. We are called to see Christ in everyone. Next time you are asked to greet someone, see Christ in their eyes. Brief, but precious encounters.
Peace
**

 

[Mark121359]

The parish across town goes a step further. They ask all visiting people to stand, introduce themselves, where they are from and then people clap for them. This is beyond awkward.

All parishes in my area at least to the stand and introduce.

One has no choice. One must participate.

I would render a guess that any parish that would insist on forcing all of this kumbaya gobbledygook on its parishioners would tend to be very liberal. Probably has a drum set and guitars nearby for the high mass.
P.S. Attend a EF Mass if one is available…problem solved for certain.

Peace, Mark

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

I would render a guess that any parish that would insist on forcing all of this kumbaya gobbledygook on its parishioners would tend to be very liberal. Probably has a drum set and guitars nearby for the high mass.
P.S. Attend a EF Mass if one is available…problem solved for certain.

Peace, Mark

I live in a conservative area. The Church is very “liberal” here.
There is NO viable EF Option in the diocese. None.
Yes, to the drum set.

 

[pianistclare]

I live in a conservative area. The Church is very “liberal” here.
There is NO viable EF Option in the diocese. None.
Yes, to the drum set.

Hoosier is going to move to my parish and live happily ever after.

 

[Perian]

it’s not an either / or. When you kidsa re older, they will be asked to participate in community service with sick people (caroling at a nursing home), homeless people (making and serving food, sandwiches), repairing homes with Habitat or Catholic Heart Work Camp or on a Mission trip. They’ll be way more comfortable and get much more out of it if they experience signs of fellowship and community on the turf of their home parish.
Its not a bad thing. We are called to see Christ in everyone. Next time you are asked to greet someone, see Christ in their eyes. Brief, but precious encounters.
Peace

What I mean by “outgoing people are outgoing and shy people are shy” is that, if you’re the type of person to greet a newcomer and invite them to lunch, you’re going to do it anyway. And a 30 second greeting is unlikely to induce a shy person to break out of their shell and be a social butterfly.

Such a reprimanding tone in this post. My OP was a literal invitation to discussion, not a poll on whether or not I’m justified in picking up my torch and pitchfork. Because I’m not… I said it’s not that big of a deal, just looking for the general landscape of Cathplic opinion. Sheesh.

 

[pianistclare]

What I mean by “outgoing people are outgoing and shy people are shy” is that, if you’re the type of person to greet a newcomer and invite them to lunch, you’re going to do it anyway. And a 30 second greeting is unlikely to induce a shy person to break out of their shell and be a social butterfly.

Such a reprimanding tone in this post. My OP was a literal invitation to discussion, not a poll on whether or not I’m justified in picking up my torch and pitchfork. Because I’m not… I said it’s not that big of a deal, just looking for the general landscape of Cathplic opinion. Sheesh.

Who said anything about inviting people to lunch?
No one but you.
I suggest a thoughtful reading of responses instead of assuming we are saying what we are not saying.

People get to say their piece.
You did. I did.
That’s all it’s about. It’s a forum.

 

[Mark121359]

I live in a conservative area. The Church is very “liberal” here.
There is NO viable EF Option in the diocese. None.
Yes, to the drum set.

There is a parish near me which my niece attends that has a drum set with guitars and huge Marshall amps. all within 20 feet of the Tabernacle. I can almost picture John Bonham and Jimmy Page whaling away on them as I did in the 70’s at a Led Zep concert. But to see this in a RC Church? Umm…no! Maybe all who have participated in this thread would do well to read what Cardinal Robert Sarah recently said about the ‘profound crisis’ in the Church and the liturgy and see how it parallels with some of what’s been said in this thread. You can read it here.

Cardinal Sarah suggested that the crisis had followed when God was displaced from the centre of the liturgy. Instead of directing worship towards the adoration of God, the Eucharist became dominated by merely human motives such as “the community’s celebration of itself”.

Peace, Mark

 

[ffg]

Our parish does this, but they immediately follow it with doing the angelus, which is immediately followed by a comment to maintain a prayerful silence.

So 3 steps -

‘Welcome, stand and greet’ (announcer waits a few seconds)

‘As we prepare for Mass, we say the Angelus’ (announcer leads)

‘keep a prayerful silence’ (not that it is always quiet - but it’s effort).

They’ve also started to play the organ right after the last song to cut out what used to be clapping, which is nice.

 

[1neophyte]

There is a parish near me which my niece attends that has a drum set with guitars and huge Marshall amps. all within 20 feet of the Tabernacle. I can almost picture John Bonham and Jimmy Page whaling away on them as I did in the 70’s at a Led Zep concert. But to see this in a RC Church? Umm…no! Maybe all who have participated in this thread would do well to read what Cardinal Robert Sarah recently said about the ‘profound crisis’ in the Church and the liturgy and see how it parallels with some of what’s been said in this thread. You can read it here.

Peace, Mark

Aaaaaaaaaand…we’re off.

 

[Perian]

Who said anything about inviting people to lunch?
No one but you.
I suggest a thoughtful reading of responses instead of assuming we are saying what we are not saying.

People get to say their piece.
You did. I did.
That’s all it’s about. It’s a forum.

But that’s what I’m asking, what does it actually accomplish? Do you actually know anyone you didn’t know before if the parish has instated a greeting in which you don’t even exchange names, but nothing else that would facilitate the building of relationships? I gave inviting someone to lunch as an example of a logical next step of this desire to reach out and connect. I know many faces and some names, but the my arsenal of actual acquaintances at the parish has not expanded since I started standing up and whispering thank you while people compliment my kids before Mass.

I never called it a liturgical abuse. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, I just think it’s an ineffective thing. Is it worth detracting from the prayerfulness before Mass for something that does not accomplish its end?

And no, I don’t resent the choir, but I appreciate your sarcasm. I didn’t think I needed to spell out why music and shallow small talk are different in their effects on prayerfulness to someone with a signature like yours.

 

[Perian]

Our parish does this, but they immediately follow it with doing the angelus, which is immediately followed by a comment to maintain a prayerful silence.

So 3 steps -

‘Welcome, stand and greet’ (announcer waits a few seconds)

‘As we prepare for Mass, we say the Angelus’ (announcer leads)

‘keep a prayerful silence’ (not that it is always quiet - but it’s effort).

They’ve also started to play the organ right after the last song to cut out what used to be clapping, which is nice.

That sounds like a nice compromise. I might actually suggest something like that if I get an opportunity to speak to the pastor. I don’t mind the greeting for what it’s worth, but breaking a prayerful silence with chit chat, then to try to launch directly into the sacred liturgy just feels incongruous. Following it with a communal prayer to restore to the mental preparation seems like a great way to do it. Daily mass in our diocese is followed by a prayer for protection against natural disasters, so a prayer before Mass would be in keeping with a current tradition.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Hoosier is going to move to my parish and live happily ever after.

Careful. We have been known to up and move.
I could be there in two weeks. Kids in tow. Family safe in a wonderful environment.

Only problem is you will have to pull me aside sometime and say " Hoosier, I appriciate your help but I don’t need you to volunteer for EVERYTHING!"

Every place pianist Claire is would be a Catholic oasis!

 

[pnewton]

Wow, this really took off.

Okay, here’s another question for those of you who don’t mind this custom, or are in favor of it.

Do you feel like it actually accomplishes any actual community building within the parish?

I have only known this type of pre-Mass greeting when I have been a visitor, but I would say that it does set a friendly tone and a positive view of the parish as welcoming, again, as a visitor. I guess I prefer it to the places I walk in and out without anyone even giving me eye contact, much less any conversation.

 

[Mark121359]

Aaaaaaaaaand…we’re off.

Oops! Indeed I did steer this thread in another direction with my little tangent…Carry on.

---

Peace, Mark***