WWYD? "Please stand and greet your neighbor."

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Is this a Georgia custom? I’ve only seen it done while visiting churches in Georgia. And, being someone who is just passing through and who is not interested in trying to get to know anyone at that particular church, I do find it a bit of a strange custom. I assume the parishioners enjoy doing it and can’t find any other time to greet each other so I participate when it’s done, but I must admit that I’m glad my church doesn’t do it.
My Church is in the Atlanta northern suburbs, and we do this. Another Catholic Church I go to from time to time here does it too. I can’t be sure, but I thought a church in Virginia did it to during Christmas.

I don’t care for it, but I imagine if you knew a lot of people, it wouldn’t be so bad.
 
The funny thing is, in our parish, everyone sits in the same place every week! We sat on the opposite side two weeks ago to look at someones sons graduation pics (before mass) and afterwards, even the pastor remarked on ‘missing us’. Can’t remember the last time I shook the hand of someone I didn’t know!

Two years ago - when we first started attending, it was nice to be smiled at and ‘greeted’ - we have become friends with our little corner of the Nave!
 
Careful. We have been known to up and move.
I could be there in two weeks. Kids in tow. Family safe in a wonderful environment.

Only problem is you will have to pull me aside sometime and say " Hoosier, I appriciate your help but I don’t need you to volunteer for EVERYTHING!"

Every place pianist Claire is would be a Catholic oasis!
🙂

:tiphat:

Gracias!
 
I really don’t understand what the big deal is.🤷
“Hello, how are you today?”
“Good morning, nice to see you.”

If mass begins immediately after those exchanges, how is that ruining or cutting into anyone’s prayer time? I would suggest you show up 5 seconds earlier for mass then. 🤷
There isn’t a lot of square footage left in the world, let alone uninterrupted time to be found in the world, even on Sundays, that is devoted solely to prayer or worship. Would that Catholic churches were such spaces and the moments before and during and after Mass were such times.

So…I’m against it because it is not in the rubrics and doesn’t need to be added. I would say the situation is quite the opposite, all things considered.

If my pastor sends someone to the front of the church to say, “greet the person next to you,” however, then I’m going to do what I’m asked to do. I may tell him later that I’m voting against it, if he’s fielding opinions. Having said that, I would be hard-pressed to come up with an excuse to refuse to do it, if he decided to keep the practice. It would be taking a chance that I’d be giving someone near me the feeling that I was snubbing them. It isn’t as if the church is going to be hospitable to any meditation while that is going on, anyway.

Well, if you’re forced to do it because the alternative is to unintentionally give offense, then do it cheerfully. We don’t have to like everything obedience and deference to the innocent wishes of others bids us to do. As they used to say in the old days, “offer it up.”
I don’t care for it, but I imagine if you knew a lot of people, it wouldn’t be so bad.
If everyone is well-acquainted, then there REALLY is no need for it. (IM"H"O, LOL)
 
What would you do in this scenario?

Our parish began a new custom recently. Just before Mass begins, a lector comes to the pulpit to wish good morning, welcome all to the parish, and introduce themselves by name. Then, they say, “At this time, we invite you to stand and greet your neighbor.” Everyone stands and the once quiet church turns into a buzz of movement and noise. No more praying. The opening hymn begins from that point.



What’s your take?
No one in my church has ever introduced themselves by name. People rather sort themselves into cliques, to begin with. And they use the time before Mass for chatting about profane things – recipes, a new digital camera, where they’re going for breakfast after Mass, etc.

Virtually the entire current generation of Catholics has grown up in an atmosphere that we’re “nothing” and not qualified to do anything, like saying anything evangelically oriented.

And, even at the “sign of peace” there’s a lot of actual kissing and hugging, except when they turn to people around them - naturally – you’re not going to kiss and hug a stranger.

I think these things which the priests think up are meant to take the edge off the sterility and formality of the Mass. I don’t see this following the priest’s orders to lessen the clericalism in the Church that I thought Francis wanted to attack. On the contrary, it reinforces the clericalism, of giving and taking orders.

I grew up in the culture of silent prayer before Mass and I’m uncomfortable with everybody talking in church before Mass.

And, allow me to throw in the letter of James, where it says true religion is taking care of widows and children – my mother was a widow (twice) and I was orphaned twice (losing one father to disease and the other to homicide) and then that parish, as an organization, rather abandoned us socially. You just NEVER hear anything said about this or DONE about it.

I have always had the impression that the priests wanted to be served, rather than to serve, themselves. And, then, parishes seem to be very different from each other, rather than putting in a standard working model for a parish.

The household I grew up in was poor, financially and socially. I didn’t see the parish putting any effort into changing that.

This is the context in which I react to the OP. The parish did not make me feel good about myself, with all the insecurities of life I had to deal with. A forced handshake before Mass isn’t accomplishing anything that I can tell. And, as someone said previously, I am terrified about the people who come to church coughing so much, productive coughs ! and these people cough right into their hands. NO THANKS.

Well, the OTHER thing that happens is that at communion time, the ushers are intentionally trying to shake hands with everybody in the row that is moving up for communion. These people should take a course in bacteriology to see how unsanitary that is – not to mention the priests who order people to do that.
 
There isn’t a lot of square footage left in the world, let alone uninterrupted time to be found in the world, even on Sundays, that is devoted solely to prayer or worship. Would that Catholic churches were such spaces and the moments before and during and after Mass were such times.

So…I’m against it because it is not in the rubrics and doesn’t need to be added. I would say the situation is quite the opposite, all things considered.

If my pastor sends someone to the front of the church to say, “greet the person next to you,” however, then I’m going to do what I’m asked to do. I may tell him later that I’m voting against it, if he’s fielding opinions. Having said that, I would be hard-pressed to come up with an excuse to refuse to do it, if he decided to keep the practice. It would be taking a chance that I’d be giving someone near me the feeling that I was snubbing them. It isn’t as if the church is going to be hospitable to any meditation while that is going on, anyway.

Well, if you’re forced to do it because the alternative is to unintentionally give offense, then do it cheerfully. We don’t have to like everything obedience and deference to the innocent wishes of others bids us to do. As they used to say in the old days, “offer it up.”

If everyone is well-acquainted, then there REALLY is no need for it. (IM"H"O, LOL)
I agree. I don’t think it’s needed either, but if my pastor decides we are doing it, it’s not a big deal. “offer it up,” indeed! 😉
 
You hate it when the priest says “Good morning”? Is that a typo? 🤷
I don’t get that. And the whole introducing yourselves takes literally less than 1 minute, so I am surprised so many people say they hate it or that it takes their time away from Jesus.
 
A small change in the Topic…

One Sunday I was watching a man sneezing, coughing & blowing his nose during the Mass. When it was time for the sign of peace, he ran over to everyone around him and extended his hand to shake.
I was so happy I was in another section…I would have walked out.

The sign of peace should only be for people with normal intelligence. :rolleyes:

I wonder how many people got the flu from those around them at Mass? :confused:
 
I believe we could do with more socializing and less ceremony.
I don’t want to overreact here so I’m hesitant to respond. But… :eek:

Socializing has its place in community. But Mass isn’t simply (or even largely) a community-building exercise. The ceremony is kinda the point.
No one is forcing you to do anything. You can choose to go to whatever parish you want.

Mass is not about “me” and what “I” want. Mass is a communal celebration of the saving act of love of Jesus Christ - for all of us!!

It saddens me to see so many people who don’t want to even take a minute to say “good morning” to the person next to them at Church. What are we becoming? :(🤷
For thousands of years, people understood the Mass to be sacrificial. We are at Calvary with Christ as He dies for us. It shouldn’t be terribly surprising, then, that socializing while Our Lord prepares to die for us would be seen as disdainful by many.
 
What would you do in this scenario?

Our parish began a new custom recently. Just before Mass begins, a lector comes to the pulpit to wish good morning, welcome all to the parish, and introduce themselves by name. Then, they say, “At this time, we invite you to stand and greet your neighbor.” Everyone stands and the once quiet church turns into a buzz of movement and noise. No more praying. The opening hymn begins from that point.

My husband and I spent a number of years living in a town that was much more informed by the surrounding Protestantism than the town we live in now. People would chat quietly before Mass, hanging over pews to greet people. There was no reverent silence and there was very little sense of preparing oneself spiritually for the liturgy between arrival and the opening hymn.

It was one aspect of many that made it very difficult to nourish the spiritual life. Now, our parish is doing the same thing, The last moments of prayerful silence are turned into a brief social event. I kind of rely on every last moment of that preparatory period because when you’re hurrying to Mass with two small children, you’re trying to strike a balance between not getting there too early and having to corral the children for an extra 10-15 minutes, butvalso have time to settle in, take a break, and pray a moment.

The last thing I want to do is wind up my children and myself and shake hands and say good morning.

What would you do? My husband sits and doesn’t respond if anyone tries to greet him. That seems churlish to me. I don’t stand, but I nod and smile and say good morning. It’s a very healthy, vibrant parish so sitting where no one can greet us isn’t an option. It’s a full church. And the noise riles up the children anyway. I don’t think it’s THAT big a deal. I roll my eyes and wish they wouldn’t but it’s not worth being rude or addressing the pastor.

What’s your take?
I think it is annoying when parishes ask us to do this. I remember one time I went to a Life teen Mass (I think that is what it is called) They asked us to greet our neighbors just before Mass started. We did for a minuet. Then they said “Okay, now this time everyone STAND and greet your neighbor” so we had to re greet our neighbors for a second time. Counting the sign of peace that is 3 times we greeted our neighbor total. Absolutely ridiculous and annoying. But also small potatoes. Its annoying but I do not let myself get worked up about it. There are worse things that can go on at Mass. For example, just yesterday I had to sit through liturgical dance at a parish that I normally do not go to :eek: So, as annoying as “Please stand and greet your neighbor” is, it is only for a more or less half a minuet so I just deal with it.
 
I don’t want to overreact here so I’m hesitant to respond. But… :eek:

Socializing has its place in community. But Mass isn’t simply (or even largely) a community-building exercise. The ceremony is kinda the point.

For thousands of years, people understood the Mass to be sacrificial. We are at Calvary with Christ as He dies for us. It shouldn’t be terribly surprising, then, that socializing while Our Lord prepares to die for us would be seen as disdainful by many.
I agree 100 percent.
 
I don’t want to overreact here so I’m hesitant to respond. But… :eek:

Socializing has its place in community. But Mass isn’t simply (or even largely) a community-building exercise. The ceremony is kinda the point.

For thousands of years, people understood the Mass to be sacrificial. We are at Calvary with Christ as He dies for us. It shouldn’t be terribly surprising, then, that socializing while Our Lord prepares to die for us would be seen as disdainful by many.
I don’t think saying good morning or greeting someone next to you at church for less than one minute is taking away from any of that.
 
I don’t get that. And the whole introducing yourselves takes literally less than 1 minute, so I am surprised so many people say they hate it or that it takes their time away from Jesus.
Recollection is not an easy thing to achieve. Most of us have a great deal of difficulty getting through Mass without some flight of ideas taking us off in another direction, even if we do get some time to quiet ourselves immediately before Mass begins. Our ability to focus isn’t on a switch, particularly not in a world so full of distractions as ours.

Anybody who can say they paid attention through the whole Mass last Sunday without their minds wandering off to something else, raise their hands. (Be honest: How many even made it from the start of the reading of the Gospel to the end of the homily?)
 
Recollection is not an easy thing to achieve. Most of us have a great deal of difficulty getting through Mass without some flight of ideas taking us off in another direction, even if we do get some time to quiet ourselves immediately before Mass begins. Our ability to focus isn’t on a switch, particularly not in a world so full of distractions as ours.

Anybody who can say they paid attention through the whole Mass last Sunday without their minds wandering off to something else, raise their hands. (Be honest: How many even made it from the start of the reading of the Gospel to the end of the homily?)
That’s very true. My mind does wander off at times, and sometimes more than other times. that’s a good point, but I don’t feel saying good morning or hello to someone next to me really distracts me. It doesn’t make a difference to me one way or the other, but I see what you mean.
 
In answer to a question posted earlier I don’t think in of it’s self pre mass greetings will create community but it could make it seem more normal to talk to strangers at a parish which could make it easier for people to attend parish events alone. I’ve had several experiences going to these things and no one speaking to me, it’s a really horrible experience and makes you want to stop trying.
 
Recollection is not an easy thing to achieve. Most of us have a great deal of difficulty getting through Mass without some flight of ideas taking us off in another direction, even if we do get some time to quiet ourselves immediately before Mass begins. Our ability to focus isn’t on a switch, particularly not in a world so full of distractions as ours.

Anybody who can say they paid attention through the whole Mass last Sunday without their minds wandering off to something else, raise their hands. (Be honest: How many even made it from the start of the reading of the Gospel to the end of the homily?)
I believe this is part and parcel of our human nature. As you say, it happens to most everyone. This makes it our nature that causes distraction, not the greeting before Mass even starts. I really do not see such minor flights of the mind as a problem.
 
Socializing has its place in community. But Mass isn’t simply (or even largely) a community-building exercise. The ceremony is kinda the point.

For thousands of years, people understood the Mass to be sacrificial. We are at Calvary with Christ as He dies for us. It shouldn’t be terribly surprising, then, that socializing while Our Lord prepares to die for us would be seen as disdainful by many.
Just to clarify, the original post referred to something that happens before Mass, though I mention once against, that Mass is most definitely communal worship.

As far as what happened before he died, Jesus held the Pascal Supper with his disciples. One could say that his last action before he began his ordeal was social. Mass even goes back further, with the readings usually starting from the Old Testament and a Psalm before moving to the Gospel. The first half of the Mass is something that did not happen on Good Friday, but is more representative of the teaching ministry of Jesus.
 
The responses to this thread are very surprising to me.

The Catholic Church has a huge mercy campaign and a come back home campaign yet many church members don’t agree with a greeting time before Mass. I feel that the greeting time helps both of those campaigns. It shows mercy to those who come to church alone and makes it a little easier for them to feel accepted. As for welcome back, if I went to a church expecting to be welcome and the people told me they didn’t agree with greeting time and they refused to shake my hand, I certainly would not feel welcomed and I would probably not come back.

The Catholic Church needs to welcome people. It’s a mandate from God to love your neighbor as you love yourself. Yet many are stating how much they hate just simply greeting someone. It is really not loving or kind to refuse to simply greet someone.

Praying for the Church and for hearts & minds to be opened.
 
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