WWYD? "Please stand and greet your neighbor."

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Not really. It’s what Jesus teaches that really matters. If some dissident priest attempts to affirm a so called homosexual marriage that does not make it a marriage just as a dissident bishop attempts to ordain a woman does not make her a priest.
Amen! 👍
 
You really don’t understand, do you? Please read my post #165 again. Read my analogy about the guy about to propose to the girl…
I get it, I just don’t agree with you.
I am not a fan of the practice myself, but then I am an extrovert and don’t need anyone to encourage me to do this.
That said, we Catholics do have a problem with fellowship and that is one reason why we are losing people. It is not the 1950’s anymore and we are a much more transient society than the one my parents grew up in. The parish church is not the hotbed of neighborhood activity anymore where everyone knows everyone else.
Ultimately this is the choice of the Pastor, and if he feels it is a wise decision, regardless of how I feel, so long as it’s not breaking any rules, I can only see a benefit. If one person stays or becomes Catholic or reverts back because the felt welcomed, it is worth 30 seconds of my time.
 
I get it, I just don’t agree with you.
I am not a fan of the practice myself, but then I am an extrovert and don’t need anyone to encourage me to do this.
That said, we Catholics do have a problem with fellowship and that is one reason why we are losing people. It is not the 1950’s anymore and we are a much more transient society than the one my parents grew up in. The parish church is not the hotbed of neighborhood activity anymore where everyone knows everyone else.
Ultimately this is the choice of the Pastor, and if he feels it is a wise decision, regardless of how I feel, so long as it’s not breaking any rules, I can only see a benefit. If one person stays or becomes Catholic or reverts back because the felt welcomed, it is worth 30 seconds of my time.
I agree! 👍

Also, If the priest doesn’t find this a distraction, I’m confused how it would be a distraction to anyone else. If anyone is to be prepared the most before mass starts, it would be the priest. At least I think so. I get every person is different, but i just really don’t see how 30 seconds of greeting someone is going to make any significant difference. I can’t recollect
Or clear my mind that fast. I get that maybe people don’t prefer it or care for it, but for the OP or others who have made it sound like a bad thing is what confuses me. if I knew someone next to me at church felt so strongly against saying good morning, I wouldn’t really want to be sitting next to them lol. im definitely not there to chit chat or talk though either, but 30 seconds of saying good morning is not really chit chat to me.
 
I get it, I just don’t agree with you.
I am not a fan of the practice myself, but then I am an extrovert and don’t need anyone to encourage me to do this.
That said, we Catholics do have a problem with fellowship and that is one reason why we are losing people. It is not the 1950’s anymore and we are a much more transient society than the one my parents grew up in. The parish church is not the hotbed of neighborhood activity anymore where everyone knows everyone else.
Ultimately this is the choice of the Pastor, and if he feels it is a wise decision, regardless of how I feel, so long as it’s not breaking any rules, I can only see a benefit. If one person stays or becomes Catholic or reverts back because the felt welcomed, it is worth 30 seconds of my time.
^^ this 👍
 
No, this is not about being social. It is about whether this particular method actually does bring about an increase in warmth and whether it actually facilitates a real social connection between those present or whether it is experienced as a well-meant but ultimately artificial and ill-timed gimmick.

I don’t see why anyone would automatically jump to the conclusion that a parishioner would have to be antisocial to conclude that it is the latter. I’ve tried this; I don’t think this method achieves the intended result. I think it achieves little that is good while working counter to another desirable end.
And I understand that, but you are not the priest there. That is kind of why this doesn’t make sense us dissecting this. It is that priest’s opinion that matters. His opinion is no more right or wrong than yours, but he is the only there, besides the OP.
 
And yes, “repugnant” is a very strong word. I use words intentionally. I have very strong feelings about this, so I used a very strong word. Greeting me with “welcome” when I enter a church is repugnant to me.
Wow!

“And by this they will know you are my disciples, if you have love one for another.”

Okay, so you didn’t bow out, so let me give you one thing new to consider. The priest must do what he sees as best for the majority. He cannot accommodate all, especially those that are most extreme, as considering the word “welcome” as repugnant.
 
Wow!

“And by this they will know you are my disciples, if you have love one for another.”

Okay, so you didn’t bow out, so let me give you one thing new to consider. The priest must do what he sees as best for the majority. He cannot accommodate all, especially those that are most extreme, as considering the word “welcome” as repugnant.
Can you explain your understanding of why the word “repugnant” was used, to demonstrate that you at least made an effort to understand what was being said before you responded with “wow”?
 
And I understand that, but you are not the priest there. That is kind of why this doesn’t make sense us dissecting this. It is that priest’s opinion that matters. His opinion is no more right or wrong than yours, but he is the only there, besides the OP.
It is not the pastor here telling us that those of us who have been in a parish that has tried this custom and moved on from it are engaging in " dualistic thinking."

The motivation for the practice is not wrong. It isn’t a liturgical abuse–it takes place before the start of the liturgy. The problem is how often it succeeds in interrupting parishioners who prepare for Mass in silent prayer while failing to increase the human connection between parishioners as a group in any real sense.

In contrast, for instance, is the practice of having the parishioners wear name tags once a month. This is ostensibly for the benefit of people who are new to the parish, and it does help them to know names and have their names known. The truth is that there are also a lot of old-timers who know lots of faces from whom names have become detached. They’re too embarrassed to ask for a repeat five years after they were first introduced. The name tags give a chance to jog memories without the embarrassment of admitting to having forgotten in the first place. When people feel secure that they know each other’s names they are more comfortable starting conversations.
 
It is not the pastor here telling us that those of us who have been in a parish that has tried this custom and moved on from it are engaging in " dualistic thinking."
Well, of course not. I did not say it was. I think it is pretty obvious for those who remember what the topic was from the first what I was referring to. If not, the first post is still there for the reading.
 
Can you explain your understanding of why the word “repugnant” was used, to demonstrate that you at least made an effort to understand what was being said before you responded with “wow”?
I do not answer loaded questions.

I quoted the part I responded to. The meaning in English is clear.
 
Someone else talked about a “false dichotomy.” Again, this gets back to what I have repeated over and over: by not even acknowledging that there are people who think differently, by saying they and their opinions are not “normal,” by asking us to conform to practices that are imposed on us (“Stand up and greet your neighbors”), what you are saying–or at least the message I am receiving–is that there is only one point of view and one opinion. We all need to fall into line. Or else. One of the main reasons I am spending so much time on this is to assure you that no, there is not just one point of view and not just one opinion. There is another group, small as it may be, who disagrees. I am not “creating” a dichotomy, I am simply pointing out that it exists. By denying its existence, you are denying the validity of my objections. I don’t like that. I see you and your opinions; why can’t you do the same?
I was the one who mentioned your dichotomy to you. And I think that you misunderstood what I was saying. I am not asking you to conform to any practices. Say good morning to your neighbor or don’t, what you do before mass truly doesnt mean anything to me. The dichotomy that I noticed in your post is your dualistic thinking in your approach to get your point across. In at least three of your posts, you mentioned that those who do not disapprove of this, and may partake in welcoming and greeting their brothers and sister in Christ before mass…do not understand the holiness of the mass in which they are about to partake. And you put that in competition to those who do not participate, as being more knowledgable and understanding of the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. It is this that I find to be a dichotomy…not whether or not you you say welcome to your neighbor.
 
This was the issue on the thread that got deleted. I will send you my 10 suggestions privately since I don’t want to be the cause of this thread being deleted too. I agree with you 100%–it should be the responsibility of those already established in the parish to reach out and include others. It is wrong for them to expect the newcomers to come to them. If they wanted to do it, they could easily do it. They don’t want to.
I appreciate this, its food for thought
 
I get it, I just don’t agree with you.
I am not a fan of the practice myself, but then I am an extrovert and don’t need anyone to encourage me to do this.
That said, we Catholics do have a problem with fellowship and that is one reason why we are losing people. It is not the 1950’s anymore and we are a much more transient society than the one my parents grew up in. The parish church is not the hotbed of neighborhood activity anymore where everyone knows everyone else.
Ultimately this is the choice of the Pastor, and if he feels it is a wise decision, regardless of how I feel, so long as it’s not breaking any rules, I can only see a benefit. If one person stays or becomes Catholic or reverts back because the felt welcomed, it is worth 30 seconds of my time.
I sometimes don’t feel the Catholic Church, at least in my limited experience, has woken up to the reality of a transient mobile society. When I did my confirmation we were taught as though we were being prepared to be Catholics in a Catholic community with Catholic family and Catholic friends and it was a poor reflection of what it is actually like to try and practice your faith in the modern era where you often have no earthly support and have to move to new parishes.

What I notice with some newer non-Catholic churches is they are very intentional about building community, most people in my husbands church belong to a weekly prayer group. As newcomers to the area this has been a valuable experience. Maybe us Catholics take our parishes for granted because they are more established
 
Wow!

“And by this they will know you are my disciples, if you have love one for another.”

Okay, so you didn’t bow out, so let me give you one thing new to consider. The priest must do what he sees as best for the majority. He cannot accommodate all, especially those that are most extreme, as considering the word “welcome” as repugnant.
repugnant = abhorrent, repulsive, repellent, offensive, objectionable, cringeworthy, loathsome, detestable, execrable, abominable, appalling, insufferable, intolerable, unacceptable, contemptible, unsavory, unpalatable

You can use any of those words if you don’t like my “repugnant.”

You and several others have made this about people. I never said the people are repugnant. The action is. Love the sinner, hate the sin, right? And before someone else leaps on that, I’m not calling this greeting thing a sin or an abuse. It’s not. My only point, which I keep repeating (ineffectually it seems) is that to some people it seems inappropriate in that place (the nave of the church rather than outside or in the vestibule) and at that time (just before Mass rather than, say, after Mass).

Also I understand that this is a relatively minor point. It’s simply what this thread is about.

As for the priest carefully weighing pros and cons, you must know different priests than I have come across. Lucky you!
 
I was the one who mentioned your dichotomy to you. And I think that you misunderstood what I was saying. I am not asking you to conform to any practices. Say good morning to your neighbor or don’t, what you do before mass truly doesnt mean anything to me. The dichotomy that I noticed in your post is your dualistic thinking in your approach to get your point across. In at least three of your posts, you mentioned that those who do not disapprove of this, and may partake in welcoming and greeting their brothers and sister in Christ before mass…do not understand the holiness of the mass in which they are about to partake. And you put that in competition to those who do not participate, as being more knowledgable and understanding of the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. It is this that I find to be a dichotomy…not whether or not you you say welcome to your neighbor.
I had a much longer answer, but my computer went out and it all went poof. Here’s a shorter version (without the links I had in the original).

Again, I am not “creating” a dichotomy or division, or whatever, I’m simply reporting it. A recent poll found that 33% of Catholics do not believe in the Real Presence. The same percentage also has no idea what the teachings of the Church are on that subject. Another poll found that church attendance by Catholics on Sunday has fallen from about 48% in 1974 to 24% in 2012. The Archdiocese of NY found that only 12% of Catholics in the diocese attend Sunday Mass regularly.

So, bearing those figures in mind (which I did not create!!!), what are the implications for two things:
  1. the nave of the church itself. Is it simply a large room? Or is it a dedicated sacred space? Or something in between?
  2. What is the Mass? Is it simply a social gathering, a small step above a church picnic, or is it a solemn communal ritual prayer? Or something in between?
Clearly, to me at least, Catholics in general would hold a vast continuum of views on both those topics. Equally clearly to me, if you did not believe in the Real Presence, and you thought of the nave of the church as simply a big room, then you would (logically) be much more apt to participate in activities like greeting your neighbors before Mass and to think this was a great idea. (I am not saying people who greet their neighbors don’t believe in the Real Presence, I am simply trying to show a continuum.) On the other extreme, there are people (me) who believe that the nave of the church is a dedicated sacred space that should not be used for mundane purposes (unless absolutely necessary) and that the Mass is a solemn communal ritual prayer. And there are lots of people in between those views.

My point is simply that your views on what the nave of the church is, and what the Mass is, will affect your views on the appropriateness of greeting your neighbor before Mass.

You also say I think there are some people who are “more knowledgable and understanding of the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.” Yes, I do think that! If you have read the Vatican II documents and the catechism on the subject, as I have, and if you have read several books on the subject, as I have, then I suspect I am more knowledgeable than the average Catholic. Is that a bad thing? Am I an expert on the subject? Of course not. Can I back up my opinions with authorities who are experts? Yes, I can. Are they the only experts in the world? No.
 
And I understand that, but you are not the priest there. That is kind of why this doesn’t make sense us dissecting this. It is that priest’s opinion that matters. His opinion is no more right or wrong than yours, but he is the only there, besides the OP.
I agree with all that, but of course on this thread we are talking in general terms since we don’t know the parish of the OP. But I think it’s a common enough practice that we have all seen it. In my local churches they do this every so often, maybe a couple times a year. Of course most of the time I’m at my Latin Mass, where probably 100% of the attendees hold my opinion, so it’s not an issue.

I agree with what you said about the priest. Of course he is in charge and can pretty much do what he wants. However, I see a tendency on this thread–and elsewhere–to make the assumption that the priest has always thought these issues through. I don’t think that’s the case; it’s no different than in the business world. Sometimes it’s enough to point out an issue to a priest, or to explain there might be unintended consequences. Depends on how open the priest is to criticism and suggestions.
 
I had a much longer answer, but my computer went out and it all went poof. Here’s a shorter version (without the links I had in the original).

So, bearing those figures in mind (which I did not create!!!), what are the implications for two things:
  1. the nave of the church itself. Is it simply a large room? Or is it a dedicated sacred space? Or something in between?
  2. What is the Mass? Is it simply a social gathering, a small step above a church picnic, or is it a solemn communal ritual prayer? Or something in between?
My point is simply that your views on what the nave of the church is, and what the Mass is, will affect your views on the appropriateness of greeting your neighbor before Mass.

.
Being how our Lord introduced the teaching of the Eucharist in John 6, immediately after he fed 5000 people with loaves of bread and fishes. And he instituted the Blessed Sacrament at the last supper, surrounded by his apostles as a family (Family, is my best description of our Lord and his apostles). I most certainly do not view the Holy Mass as a “picnic”. But I most certainly do view it as a Family Dinner. Truly this is the best imagery of the Holy Mass that I see in my mind. Jesus, along the with all the inhabitants of heaven and the members of the church. Gathering as one family and Being fed by the Lord through his Eucharist, in both spirit and body. Like I said, I’m not going to call it a “picnic”, but I will call it a family dinner. And, no I do not believe that there is anything wrong to acknowledge members of your family sitting at the table, before the dinner (mass) begins.
 
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