Yates remarries before ex-wife's retrial

[jrabs]

contemplative:

While it is true that only God is the final judge of everything…we must not turn from the basic laws He has given us all to live by.

That’s true - but I highly doubt this man needs us walking about judging his sins. He has had a tragedy befall him and he is picking up the scattered pieces as he sees fit - right or wrong in our eyes is irrelevant. How he choses to live his life should have no bearing on us.

God be merciful and spare us that nothing so horrendous ever happens in our lives to make our lives an open book of criticism to the world. We are all sinners and have no idea how we would deal with a similar situation of having a seriously mentally ill person as a spouse.

I just think it is not our place to be holier than thou judging this poor man. Just let him be.

 

[contemplative]

jrabs:

That’s true - but I highly doubt this man needs us walking about judging his sins. He has had a tragedy befall him and he is picking up the scattered pieces as he sees fit - right or wrong in our eyes is irrelevant. How he choses to live his life should have no bearing on us.

God be merciful and spare us that nothing so horrendous ever happens in our lives to make our lives an open book of criticism to the world. We are all sinners and have no idea how we would deal with a similar situation of having a seriously mentally ill person as a spouse.

I just think it is not our place to be holier than thou judging this poor man. Just let him be.

“It is easy to judge the actions of another, as though we know all the intricate details of their life story. Jesus has warned us against such judgments,” minister Byron Fike said in his prepared statement. He took no questions.

article

What you state is already in the OP article.

Unfortunately this is a very well publicized story… so inevitably many have watched as history unfolds. Another story many will be watching is Pastor Shot Dead, Wife, Children Missing
I don’t feel posters on this thread have downright condemned anyone. What I do see are firm reminders of the importance of forgiveness and the importance of keeping the bond of Sacramental Marriage. I’d say a few here have very good standards…I would not mind being their spouse.

Apart from the cross there is no other ladder by which we may get to heaven.

Saint Rose of Lima

What rung on the ladder is too high…so high as to cause someone to stop caring about obtaining heaven? Only God knows our breaking points…quite likely… the devil too. We all need to learn from what happens around us…and push on with hope and prayers for God’s mercy.

These are CAForums…folks are going to talk. Is Yates off limits?

 

[TarAshly]

His wife belongs in prison and if I weren’t a Catholic i would say death row! I hope she stays in prison for the rest of her everlovin life!
I am glad Rusty has remarried, may he finally find some peace with his new wife. I watched on the news as Andrea Yates appeared before her new judge, before the trial she was laughing and smiling and chatting with her mother and fidgiting with her hair, to me that is behaviour of a sociopath, no guilt or remorse, shes on trial for drowning her 5 children in a bathtub filled with bodily waste and she can sit there and smile and chit chat, thats disgusting.
mary's kid:

His wife belongs in a mental institution not jail. From all the reports I read she clearly seems mentally ill.

BTW, I thought they were christian, not Catholic.

 

[rayne89]

jrabs:

Sorry, but I am in no position to judge this man’s new marriage. Are you?

So I will once again ask God to bless this union if that is His will and give these people peace.

2. Some Pharisees approached him and asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” They were putting him to the test.
3. He answered them, “What did Moses command you?”
4. They replied, “Moses allowed us to draw up a writ of dismissal in cases of divorce.”
5. Then Jesus said to them, “It was because you were so hard hearted that he wrote this commandment for you.
6. But from the beginning of creation he made them male and female.
7. This is why a man leaves his father and mother,
8. and the two become one flesh. They are no longer two, therefore, but one flesh.
9. So then, what God has united, human beings must not divide.”
10. Back in the house the disciples questioned him again about this,
11. and he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another is guilty of adultery against her.
12. And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another she is guilty of adultery too.”
Mark 10:2-12

I’m not judging anyone. All I’m stating is the teaching of the church, the teaching of Christ. If Andrea developed mental illness after their marriage, which the evidence presented in the case suggests, then the crime she commited does not invalidate her marriage because it took place after the marriage. This is not my judgement it the judgement of the Bible and the Catechism. Since this is a Catholic forum I felt it was appropriate to state the church teaching.

I wish no ill will against Rusty Yates, he has been through a horrible ordeal, but I would not ask God to bless a marriage that according to Bible is an act of adultery.

 

[epower]

I got scared there for a minute, I thought that she was remarrying.

Is it wrong to think that the world would be better off if she had killed herself, rather than killing the kids?

 

[MercedesBents]

I think he’s a dirtbag, and as guilty of the deaths of his children as his wife was… He knew she was in no condition to have more children and pressured her into having more anyway.

Too bad he can’t be forcibly sterilized but I’ll bet he’ll have his new wife cranking up the baby machine before you can say “jack robinson”.

he’s a disgusting, sorry excuse for a human being who should be avoided by decent people at all costs.

 

[jrabs]

rayne89:

I’m not judging anyone. All I’m stating is the teaching of the church, the teaching of Christ. If Andrea developed mental illness after their marriage, which the evidence presented in the case suggests, then the crime she commited does not invalidate her marriage because it took place after the marriage.

Has it been determined that she acquired her mental illness after marriage? Please post your link to this information. Or does the evidence in the case just try to verify that she had a mental illness?

I was married to a severely mentally ill man. Often times people have the mental illness for years and years at which point it manifests itself in dangerous behavior.

I guess that is why we should be more careful. Unless evidence definitively says her mental illness was a development after marriage, then how would we possibly know if the marriage is invalid?

 

[jrabs]

MercedesBents:

I think he’s a dirtbag, and as guilty of the deaths of his children as his wife was… He knew she was in no condition to have more children and pressured her into having more anyway.

Too bad he can’t be forcibly sterilized but I’ll bet he’ll have his new wife cranking up the baby machine before you can say “jack robinson”.

he’s a disgusting, sorry excuse for a human being who should be avoided by decent people at all costs.

What the heck kind of post is this?

 

[Zooey]

Scout:

Those murders were too calculated for her to not know what she was doing. Her mother-in-law would come over every morning and help her with the children. She waited until the one morning when she knew her mother-in-law wouldn’t be there, and then she murdered each one of those children individually. As far as I’m concerned, jail is exactly where she should be.

Scout :tiphat:

I agree!! I know that the woman was suffering from depression, but being depressed is not an excuse for the murder of 5 innocent children.
I would add, too, that these kids…You know, they did not go easy. I am so angry that so many people feel sorry for Andrea, & yet :crying: I have never even seen the children’s names in print! It is always just “Andrea’s 5 children”, & “oh, how awful, why did they have so many?”
My grandmother had 13 children,. thank you very much, American press. She also suffered from depression. She managed without:nope: killing anybody.
I don’t care if Andrea Yates is in prison or a mental hospital. I just want her locked up, not walking around loose in a world where there are other innocents that she thinks need to be “saved from the devil”.

 

[Celia]

Zooey:

I agree!! I know that the woman was suffering from depression, but being depressed is not an excuse for the murder of 5 innocent children.
I would add, too, that these kids…You know, they did not go easy. I am so angry that so many people feel sorry for Andrea, & yet :crying: I have never even seen the children’s names in print! It is always just “Andrea’s 5 children”, & “oh, how awful, why did they have so many?”
My grandmother had 13 children,. thank you very much, American press. She also suffered from depression. She managed without:nope: killing anybody.
I don’t care if Andrea Yates is in prison or a mental hospital. I just want her locked up, not walking around loose in a world where there are other innocents that she thinks need to be “saved from the devil”.

I totally agree Zooey. As long as she is away from people where she could hurt someone else, and is locked up forever, whether it’s a mental institution or jail. Just put her away.

 

[Mom_of_one]

Andrea Yates wasn’t “depressed” She was psychotic! Depressed people don’t have the devil talking to them from the TV. Depressed people don’t have visions of blood and gore. Psychotic people do. She had some help, but not enough. When she was on her medication, she was so much better.

She tried to kill herself several times and was stopped. She was hospitalized several times, but when the insurance money ran out, out the door she went.

Stop judging her by what you see or hear in the media.

And before I get flamed, I am not making “excuses” for her behavior. I think that she belongs in a mental institution for the rest of her life. But, I do think that people ought to stop actiing like this woman is evil incarnate. Until you have walked a mile in someone else’s shoes…and I doubt many here have.

 

[rayne89]

jrabs:

Has it been determined that she acquired her mental illness after marriage? Please post your link to this information. Or does the evidence in the case just try to verify that she had a mental illness?

I was married to a severely mentally ill man. Often times people have the mental illness for years and years at which point it manifests itself in dangerous behavior.

I guess that is why we should be more careful. Unless evidence definitively says her mental illness was a development after marriage, then how would we possibly know if the marriage is invalid?

In the interview I saw with her husband he said she was diagnosed as having postpartum pyschosis. Postpartum obviously means after birth. Here is a list of the symptoms as well as a link about psotpartum psychosis.
Symptoms of Postpartum Psychosis

Postpartum psychosis is a more rare and severe disorder than postpartum depression. It affects about 1 in 500 to 1,000 new mothers. Onset is severe and quick, and should be treated as a medical emergency. Symptoms include:

Delusions, or false beliefs.

Hallucinations – hearing voices or seeing things that are not real.

Thoughts of harming or killing the baby.

Unwillingness to eat or sleep.

Frantic energy.

Severe depressive symptoms.

npr.org/programs/morning/features/2002/feb/postpartum/020218.postpartum.html

 

[mary_s_kid]

Mom of one:

Andrea Yates wasn’t “depressed” She was psychotic! Depressed people don’t have the devil talking to them from the TV. Depressed people don’t have visions of blood and gore. Psychotic people do. She had some help, but not enough. When she was on her medication, she was so much better.

She tried to kill herself several times and was stopped. She was hospitalized several times, but when the insurance money ran out, out the door she went.

Stop judging her by what you see or hear in the media.

And before I get flamed, I am not making “excuses” for her behavior. I think that she belongs in a mental institution for the rest of her life. But, I do think that people ought to stop actiing like this woman is evil incarnate. Until you have walked a mile in someone else’s shoes…and I doubt many here have.

I totally agree. Thanks for wording it so much better than I.

 

[Narcissa]

**"Andrea Yates wasn’t “depressed” She was psychotic! Depressed people don’t have the devil talking to them from the TV. Depressed people don’t have visions of blood and gore. Psychotic people do. She had some help, but not enough. When she was on her medication, she was so much better.

She tried to kill herself several times and was stopped. She was hospitalized several times, but when the insurance money ran out, out the door she went. "**

Exactly. And her husband knew all this and left those children in her care anyway when what he should have done was protect them from a psychotic mother who couldn’t take care of them. He’s as guilty as she is.

 

[Mom_of_one]

**"Andrea Yates wasn’t “depressed” She was psychotic! Depressed people don’t have the devil talking to them from the TV. Depressed people don’t have visions of blood and gore. Psychotic people do. She had some help, but not enough. When she was on her medication, she was so much better. **

She tried to kill herself several times and was stopped. She was hospitalized several times, but when the insurance money ran out, out the door she went. "

Exactly. And her husband knew all this and left those children in her care anyway when what he should have done was protect them from a psychotic mother who couldn’t take care of them. He’s as guilty as she is.

Wait a minute. I had felt that way for a long time, but I have learned that he did try to help her. I don’t thnk that he did enough, but he did try.

 

[masondoggy]

Mom of one:

Wait a minute. I had felt that way for a long time, but I have learned that he did try to help her. I don’t thnk that he did enough, but he did try.

He did try and help her, but he NEVER should have left her alone with them for even a minute. And I think he bears a lot of the responsibility for doing that.

 

[jc-servant]

I hope this man got some counseling before remarrying. He did not appear to be taking care of business as a husband and father when his children were killed. His ex-wife not only had post partum, not for the first time, but she was also trying to homeschool. If he did not have some major say in the decision to leave her at home alone with those children even for one day in that condition then who did have leadership of his home?

I don’t know all of his business, but it scares me that he basically walks away from the tragedy without having to own any part of the responsibility for it, and he gets to start over with a new wife and potentially more children.

 

[masondoggy]

jc-servant:

I hope this man got some counseling before remarrying. He did not appear to be taking care of business as a husband and father when his children were killed. His ex-wife not only had post partum, not for the first time, but she was also trying to homeschool. If he did not have some major say in the decision to leave her at home alone with those children even for one day in that condition then who did have leadership of his home?

I don’t know all of his business, but it scares me that he basically walks away from the tragedy without having to own any part of the responsibility for it, and he gets to start over with a new wife and potentially more children.

From my understanding (and I could have this wrong) he is the one who insisted on homeschooling and having more children.

 

[MercedesBents]

“I don’t thnk that he did enough”

He may have gone through the motions but in reality he completely abdicated his duty as a father and a husband, and he’s as morally guilty as she is – maybe more so, since she wasn’t in full control of herself. He was in full control of himself, he knew she was in no state to be taking care of five children 24 hours a day, and he didn’t do a damn thing about it.

He deserves to go to prison too. I’m sure the justice system can’t touch him but he’s going to have to answer to a Higher Power sooner or later, and I wouldn’t want to be him when it happens.

I hope God invites the souls of those 5 dead children to be with Him at the throne when he pronounces sentence on their father.

 

[bekalc]

“I don’t thnk that he did enough”

He may have gone through the motions but in reality he completely abdicated his duty as a father and a husband, and he’s as morally guilty as she is – maybe more so, since she wasn’t in full control of herself. He was in full control of himself, he knew she was in no state to be taking care of five children 24 hours a day, and he didn’t do a damn thing about it.

He deserves to go to prison too. I’m sure the justice system can’t touch him but he’s going to have to answer to a Higher Power sooner or later, and I wouldn’t want to be him when it happens.

I hope God invites the souls of those 5 dead children to be with Him at the throne when he pronounces sentence on their father.

I think your being judgmental and harsh. I haven’t read much on the situation, but its quite possible that he didn’t think his wife was actually capable of killing his kids. He lost 5 kids, don’t you think that’s a punishment? And pain for a life time.

His mom also came over to help with the kids, so he obvoiusly wasn’t leaving her alone with them a lot. This lady went for the right moment and did it. Don’t you think the doctors deserve responsibility too.