You know you're a Catholic if

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_Christopher

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Compiled from a thread at the OBOB forum…



You speak English as a second language (after Latin)…

You knew how to recite a prayer in Latin before you could recite a poem in English.

Your response to even the slightest teeniest little difficulty is, “I’ll say a Novena.”

Of your 14 children, the girls have names like "Mary Elizabeth, Ann Bernadette Theresa,"and the boys have names like “Francis Xavier” and “Karol Wojtyla.”

You know all the words to “Tantum Ergo” and “O Salutaris” (without sneaking a look in the back of the missalette).

Your doorbell plays “Ave Maria.”

You think your soul resembles a milk bottle.

When your house burns down, your car gets totaled, you lose your job, and you end up in traction in the hospital, you say, “Let’s Offer It Up.”

You have so many statues in your front yard the UPS guy can’t get through to your door.

You don’t believe in that Rapture stuff, but you’re eagerly awaiting The Warning.

Your idea of a really fun weekend is a two-day Scott Hahn conference explicating the first ten verses of the Book of Philemon.

When you retire, you plan to enter a Trappist monastery.

Your ham radio is permanently tuned to Radio Vaticano.

You wear so many medals, you jingle when you walk.

You surreptitiously put Green Scapulars and Holy Cards in the desk drawers of all your non-Catholic colleagues.

You can remember the Baltimore Catechism.

You’re too young to remember the Baltimore Catechism, but you’ve got it memorized anyway.

Your idea of a really swinging time is a May Crowning Procession.

Your well water has been blessed by a priest.

When you go to bed at night, you leave room on your pillow for your Guardian Angel.

You go to Eucharistic Adoration at least twice a day.

You aren’t satisfied with the free plastic rosaries in the Narthex.

You debate the merits of wooden or crystal rosaries.

You Constantly tell your non-Catholic friends the great things Mary does for you and all the lost things St. Anthony has helped you find.

You are thinking of making a shrine in your house.

You always want to point out that the word Christmas means the Mass of Christ.

You genuflect before you enter the row of seats at the theatre.

You have been caught whispering in your sleep, “There’s no place like Rome, there’s no place like Rome.”

And the number one way you can know you are a Catholic…

You have such large collection of Chick tracts that you don’t have to buy toilet paper anymore.
 
You know you are Catholic if you can kneel for more than 5 minutes without falling over.
 
ROFL!! :ROFLMAO: good one!

here’s more:

You know you’re a Catholic Nerd when…

you can rattle off the times for every Sunday and daily mass in town. **

you have a special place for all of your religious art “overflow”, since there are only so many images of the Virgin Mary one room can handle. **

you greet a friend with “Happy Feast Day!” because today is the feast of the saint whose name he took at his Confirmation. *

you have ever considered naming one of your possible children after one of the more obscure Fathers of the Church. *

you have ever referred to a saint not by his or her name, but simply as your patron or patroness.

you actually have a party on the feast of one of your favorite saints.

your most common phrase at parties starts with, “Well, the Catholic Catechism says…”

your emergency kit contains not just duct tape and food bars, but a bottle of holy water, rosaries all around, and medals and prayer cards. **

your dress shoes are all scuffed on the top of the toes from kneeling at church. **

you invite more priests to your wedding than you have attendants.

your children can pronounce and define “Transubstantiation”. *

when getting lost while driving, you dont get mad, you say, “Well, at least we got to pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet.” **

when problems at work (or in life in general) get out of hand, you go looking for a good novena. **

you have more pictures of saints than of relatives on your walls. **

you know which Eucharistic prayer is being used in 5 words or less.

you have a key rack that does not hold any keys but rather is full of Rosaries. **

your VCR is programmed to tape every episode of Fulton Sheen’s Life is Worth Living that airs on EWTN.

on a Friday night, you stay up with your friends until 1:30 am waitching EWTN.

when a solemnity falling on a Friday changes your normal Friday fare.

you remember the names of the apostles by going through your brothers.

you think it is very romantic to switch rosaries with your girlfriend.

you know who JP2 is. **

you stay up all night reading various church documents instead of studying for finals. **

you have nightmares about defending the faith from angry, liberal Catholics.

you stop and bless yourself before going to a party. **

“offer it up” is in your vocabulary (extra nerdiness if you add “for the good of the Mother Church”). **

you know that if you became a priest you would wear a cassock 24/7/365…and if you became a nun, a habit.
 
A slightly different perspective…

You Know you’re a Byzantine Catholic if…

While eating with a spoon you begin to tilt your head back and open your mouth.

You begin to make the Sign of the Cross everytime you hear the mentioning of The Trinity …on the radio!

You can pronounce ALL the names of the saints and martyrs of the Byzantine Catholic Church especially:
The Holy-Martyr Eutyches (Aug 24),
Venerable Fr. Onufrius the Great (Jun 12), Holy Martyr Eupsychius (Apr 9) good luck! :eek:

Your room air freshener is …church inscense.

Glory be to Jesus Christ! Glory to Him Forever!
 
I think I’d fall into the Catholic Nerd category. Especially considering the following (which have all happened to me)

-One of my dreams has included standing up in the middle of a theology class to defend against heresy being spouted by a classmate.

-One of my nightmares involved the Music Director of my parish donning a cassock and stole and hijacking the Mass.

-Another nightmare (the following night!!) involved a visiting priest giving the bread to the EMs to consecrate! :eek: I woke up in a cold sweat!

This sort of thing ever happen to anyone else?
 
Dr. Colossus:
I think I’d fall into the Catholic Nerd category. Especially considering the following (which have all happened to me)

-One of my dreams has included standing up in the middle of a theology class to defend against heresy being spouted by a classmate.

-One of my nightmares involved the Music Director of my parish donning a cassock and stole and hijacking the Mass.

-Another nightmare (the following night!!) involved a visiting priest giving the bread to the EMs to consecrate! :eek: I woke up in a cold sweat!

This sort of thing ever happen to anyone else?
No, but I have woke up directly many times with Contemporary Catholic/Christian music with lyrics in my mind.

Edwin

Glory be the Jesus Christ! Glory to Him Forever!
 
Not a one of them applies to me :crying: :crying: :crying:
 
90% are applicable to me!!!

Was content edited by the Therese Martin?
_Christopher_:
Compiled from a thread at the OBOB forum…



You speak English as a second language (after Latin)…

You knew how to recite a prayer in Latin before you could recite a poem in English.

Your response to even the slightest teeniest little difficulty is, “I’ll say a Novena.”

Of your 14 children, the girls have names like "Mary Elizabeth, Ann Bernadette Theresa,"and the boys have names like “Francis Xavier” and “Karol Wojtyla.”

You know all the words to “Tantum Ergo” and “O Salutaris” (without sneaking a look in the back of the missalette).

Your doorbell plays “Ave Maria.”

You think your soul resembles a milk bottle.

When your house burns down, your car gets totaled, you lose your job, and you end up in traction in the hospital, you say, “Let’s Offer It Up.”

You have so many statues in your front yard the UPS guy can’t get through to your door.

You don’t believe in that Rapture stuff, but you’re eagerly awaiting The Warning.

Your idea of a really fun weekend is a two-day Scott Hahn conference explicating the first ten verses of the Book of Philemon.

When you retire, you plan to enter a Trappist monastery.

Your ham radio is permanently tuned to Radio Vaticano.

You wear so many medals, you jingle when you walk.

You surreptitiously put Green Scapulars and Holy Cards in the desk drawers of all your non-Catholic colleagues.

You can remember the Baltimore Catechism.

You’re too young to remember the Baltimore Catechism, but you’ve got it memorized anyway.

Your idea of a really swinging time is a May Crowning Procession.

Your well water has been blessed by a priest.

When you go to bed at night, you leave room on your pillow for your Guardian Angel.

You go to Eucharistic Adoration at least twice a day.

You aren’t satisfied with the free plastic rosaries in the Narthex.

You debate the merits of wooden or crystal rosaries.

You Constantly tell your non-Catholic friends the great things Mary does for you and all the lost things St. Anthony has helped you find.

You are thinking of making a shrine in your house.

You always want to point out that the word Christmas means the Mass of Christ.

You genuflect before you enter the row of seats at the theatre.

You have been caught whispering in your sleep, “There’s no place like Rome, there’s no place like Rome.”

And the number one way you can know you are a Catholic…

You have such large collection of Chick tracts that you don’t have to buy toilet paper anymore.
 
Dr. Colossus:
This sort of thing ever happen to anyone else?
No, but I had a dumb/weird dream… When the consecration was taking place, instead of the priest saying the words of consecration… the congregation yelled out, “ISIS, ISIS, RA, RA, RA” and that took the place of the words of consecration.

I left the pew calling everyone heretics… I walked across the street and entered into a Eastern Cathoilc Church… then I woke up…

weird stuff…
 
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mrS4ntA:
ROFL!! :ROFLMAO: good one!

you have ever considered naming one of your possible children after one of the more obscure Fathers of the Church. *
Indeed!

Here’s my family sample:
  1. Uncles: Anselm, Conleth, Isidore, Phillip, Patrick, Gregory
  2. Mum: Scholastica
  3. Grandpa: Benedict (St.Scholastica’s Twin Bro.)
  4. Dad: Gabriel
  5. Aunties: Bernadette, Theodora, Agatha, Maria Philippa (A Cloistered Visitation Nun), Sabina(A Holy Rosary Sister)*
 
_Christopher_:
Compiled from a thread at the OBOB forum…

Your idea of a really fun weekend is a two-day Scott Hahn conference explicating the first ten verses of the Book of Philemon.

You are thinking of making a shrine in your house.
Two questions:
  1. When and where is this weekend conference happening and do I have to pre-register? 😃
  2. What do you mean “thinking of”?
Something else to add to the list:
…your screensaver consists of pictures of the Virgin (under all her names)
 
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mrS4ntA:
ROFL!! :ROFLMAO: good one!

here’s more:

You know you’re a Catholic Nerd when…

“offer it up” is in your vocabulary (extra nerdiness if you add “for the good of the Mother Church”). **
Do you get any extra points for adding “for the coversion of sinners” instead?
 
You know all the words to “Tantum Ergo” …

Whenever we sing something from the hymnal using the “Tantum Ergo” melody, I find myself thinking, “OK, they’ve got the melody, how come nobody knows the words?”
 
…you’ve played the word “epiclesis” in a game of Scrabble

…you wear your scapular in the swimming pool

…you secretly feel guilty because you look forward to Lenten fish fries

…instead of referring to the days of the week as Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday,…, you call them Joyful, Sorrowful, Glorious,…
 
And, of course, you know your Catholic if you get Parish Offering Envelopes in the mail.
 
You know you’re Catholic if…

You get together with two other families and suddenly there are more than 15 children in the house.

Your social life consists of going as a family to another family’s house and drinking beer while the kids run around.

Sunday dinner isn’t Sunday dinner without wine.

On Halloween, you have to explain to all the neighbors that no, your son is not a jedi, he’s St. Francis.

You know what “GIRM” means.

You actually have used the word “GIRM.”

You find yourself in deep conversation at the end of a party talking about …the GIRM.

You keep reminding yourself that you should really try to get some secular artwork for the house.
 
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Ham1:
You know you’re Catholic if…

You get together with two other families and suddenly there are more than 15 children in the house.

Your social life consists of going as a family to another family’s house and drinking beer while the kids run around.

Sunday dinner isn’t Sunday dinner without wine.

On Halloween, you have to explain to all the neighbors that no, your son is not a jedi, he’s St. Francis.

You know what “GIRM” means.

You actually have used the word “GIRM.”

You find yourself in deep conversation at the end of a party talking about …the GIRM.

You keep reminding yourself that you should really try to get some secular artwork for the house.
This should be the humor thread it is great.
 
You know you’re an orthodox Catholic when:

You face toward Steubenville when you pray 🙂
 
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