You may be in a dissenting parish if...

[larryo]

You may be in a dissenting parish if

…after reading the Gospel, the priest ducks into the sacristy and returns dressed as a police officer to give the homily, the subject of which is the danger posed by the Vatican’s “ecclesiastical police.” (This is absolutely true.)

 

[Timidity]

Agomemnon:

Since Vatican II affirmed that the Liturgy should be in Latin with Gregrian Chant and Polyphany…what in the heck is he talking about?

He was talking specfically about SSPV, and to a somewhat lesser degree, SSPX.

Definately a bunch of dissenters.

 

[Timidity]

IrenkaJMJ:

Not true.

Yes, true.

The operative word being “may”.

 

[IrenkaJMJ]

Timidity:

Yes, true.

The operative word being “may”.

This is supposed to be light-hearted. You’re comparing a Mass said in Latin with obviously wrong situations and jokes.

 

[moedom]

BLB_Oregon:

You may be in a dissenting parish if… you bring up a point of discussion from an encyclical, and the response is, “Oh, sure, but what does the Pope know?”

Or they say that doesn’t apply to us here in America. It won’t work. A priest actualy said that to me.:crying:

Moe

 

[pnewton]

…a layman gives the homily,

extra points if it is John Kerry.

 

[JCB]

Timidity:

He was talking specfically about SSPV, and to a somewhat lesser degree, SSPX.

Definately a bunch of dissenters.

Dissenters from modernism, liturgical abuses, and the smoke of satin … Conformers of Tradition and holiness

 

[kmktexas]

You may be in a dissenting parish if… there is no confessional in the new multi-million dollar church but Father is available on Saturday afternoons to chat in the Bride’s room.

You may be in a dissenting parish if… no sacrament prep classes are offered but the pre-Confirmation, co-ed sleepover (no parents allowed) is mandatory.

You may be in a dissenting parish if… the Missals are only good for song books since Father makes up his own prayers and responses as well as chooses readings he thinks are more approprite.

You may be in a dissenting parish if… the woman presiding over the Communion service states that we shouldn’t be disappointed that Father wasn’t there to say Mass, because “it’s the same Jesus.”

You may be in a dissenting parish if… Father begins his homily by saying “of course, God never said that” referring to the readings.

You may be in a dissenting parish if… the visiting priest isn’t allowed to distribute Communion because there are already enough Eucharistic Ministers (their words - not mine).

And alas, these are true and taken from five different churches near me.

 

[BLB_Oregon]

JCB:

Dissenters from modernism, liturgical abuses, and the smoke of satin … Conformers of Tradition and holiness

I assume you mean Satan, and not the slippery fabric. (Or do you mean they oppose lighting brides on fire?)

[Don’t blame me. It *is a levity thread! ]

 

[JCB]

BLB_Oregon:

I assume you mean Satan, and not the slippery fabric. (Or do you mean they oppose lighting brides on fire?)

[Don’t blame me. It *is

a levity thread! ]

Sorry for the mispell :whacky:

 

[James0235]

You may be in a dissenting parish if…

During his homily Father introduces the new associate pastor:
“Father” Joan Chittister

James

 

[Catholicgirl]

the priest holds a Student Mass and then announces his intention to have the students give their neighbor their own ‘personalized’ homily

the priest invites the congregation to circle him on the altar to ‘more fully appreciate the Eucharist’

Sad but both are true!!

 

[moira]

if…the person in charge of the Confirmation class thinks that one religion is as good as another.

 

[Peace-bwu]

pnewton:

…a layman gives the homily,

extra points if it is John Kerry.

Wow I had the same experience in my hometown church… a laywoman, the head of RCIA who was openly pro-choice and thought women should be allowed into the priesthood, gave the homily while the priest smiled on, sitting in his chair… I should mention that he was a Pres. Clinton supporter and openly pro-choice.

 

[Peace-bwu]

moira:

if…the person in charge of the Confirmation class thinks that one religion is as good as another.

Again, the same woman who gave the Homily also voiced this opinion and told my convert Aunt that she did not have to go to Mass every Sunday. The list goes on.

 

[KevinH]

… at the Penitential Rite, the priest tells the congregation to turn and confess your sins to those seated around you.

… when you ask the priest why he omits the Profession of Faith at every Sunday Mass, he says, “who are you, the Liturgy police?” and walks away.

 

[tTt]

Peace-bwu:

Wow I had the same experience in my hometown church… a laywoman, the head of RCIA who was openly pro-choice and thought women should be allowed into the priesthood, gave the homily while the priest smiled on, sitting in his chair… I should mention that he was a Pres. Clinton supporter and openly pro-choice.

I was looking for a laugh and all I’ve got is a head ache ouch

:banghead:

 

[tTt]

Its amazing how the biggest dissenters seek out RCIA, CCD and other teaching positions. get involved and smoke these people
out.
We had a Brother for many years heading up RCIA. He told converts that you didn’t have to to confession. :banghead:

 

[Buckeyejoe]

Your priest says his favorite Bible pasage is from the gospel of Thomas!

If your Pastor and his associates are all holding hands in the rectory and their NOT praying! (but this probably too common to be taken as a joke)

God help us all, and His Church!

 

[BLB_Oregon]

tTt:

Its amazing how the biggest dissenters seek out RCIA, CCD and other teaching positions. get involved and smoke these people
out.
We had a Brother for many years heading up RCIA. He told converts that you didn’t have to to confession. :banghead:

Smoke out the errors… but go into it with the attitude that you will be talking to someone who, in spite of some stubbornness, really does want to follow Jesus. After all, you aren’t advocating for more rules, but for a fuller life.