You may be in a dissenting parish if...

[LauraL]

… your parish priest has actually implemented Redemptionis Sacramentum despite the Bishop’s ordering the diocesan priests to “wait… pending further discussion.”

Some dissensions are a good thing – GO, FATHER!

 

[Voice_Of_Reason]

…if your priest stands to give the homily and states that his dog ate the homily.

…if your priest gives communion to non-Catholics such as Bill Clinton.

…if your priest baptizes a baby Jesus figure during Christmas.

 

[Hudsonite]

When your priest is quoting Woody Allen instead of the Saints.

When your Priest gives a homily that turns into a democratic speech in support of John Kerry.

 

[Voice_Of_Reason]

…before the final announcements are made before the blessing, a lay person goes and talks about the upcoming church picnic for five minutes each Sunday for two months.

…the priest leaves the front of the church and vanishes to who knows where behind an organ for no apparent reason during the first reading.

…the non-priests giving communion (which I REJECT via Cathecism of Trent, btw) wash their hands after communion has been given to the faithful.

 

[Hudsonite]

When you bring up Redemptoris Sacramentum to your Pastor and he tells you that the Pope doesn’t even know it exists.

When your Priest calls Jesus Christ a flaming liberal!

 

[moedom]

Voice_Of_Reason:

…before the final announcements are made before the blessing, a lay person goes and talks about the upcoming church picnic for five minutes each Sunday for two months.

This reminded me of another one.

… if your priest is all fired up about a “walk for cancer” event and talks about it as if it would be a mortal sin to miss it. And then does not mention the “Life Chain” just up the street being held that same afternoon, even after being informed a week before and again just before mass. :banghead:

Moe

 

[rjmporter]

tTt:

Its amazing how the biggest dissenters seek out RCIA, CCD and other teaching positions. get involved and smoke these people
out.
We had a Brother for many years heading up RCIA. He told converts that you didn’t have to to confession. :banghead:

I second that. Our RCIA program was absymal. The level of instruction was basically. Do what you will, Jesus loves you. So, five years ago, I took over. I have corrected the instruction which now is basically . . . Love Jesus, do what He wills.

I am amazed at the people who complain about the liberal parish staff, but are completly unwilling to make the sacrafice and get in there and make a difference. They may be liberal, but they are willing to give up a secular career to serve the church. We, on the conservative side, need to stop making noise and start making a difference. Start making sacrafices.

 

[rjmporter]

tTt:

Its amazing how the biggest dissenters seek out RCIA, CCD and other teaching positions. get involved and smoke these people
out.
We had a Brother for many years heading up RCIA. He told converts that you didn’t have to to confession. :banghead:

I second that. Our RCIA program was absymal. The level of instruction was basically. Do what you will, Jesus loves you. So, five years ago, I took over. I have corrected the instruction which now is basically . . . Love Jesus, do what He wills.

I am amazed at the people who complain about the liberal parish staff, but are completly unwilling to make the sacrafice and get in there and make a difference. They may be liberal, but they are willing to give up a secular career to serve the church. We, on the conservative side, need to stop making noise and start making a difference. Start making sacrafices.

 

[Lance_O]

BLB_Oregon:

You may be in a dissenting parish if… your bishop visits and the response is, “Who invited you?”

I’m about rolling on the floor**…“who invited you?” **
:clapping:
:crying: - Too bad some of these are true stories.

now here are some others that I’ve heard about******

YOU might be in a dissenting parish if…everyone has their hand washed on Holy Thurday; with the priest washing the first person and then sits down in the chair and watches the people come up the front.

YOU might be in a dissenting parish if… on Holy Thurday; ALL the readings done as a ‘play’ all mixed into one ‘reading’.

YOU might be in a dissenting parish if…the priest makes up his
order for the Easter Vigil by leaving out half of the readings and lights the Easter Candle between the Gospel reading and the Homily.

YOU might be in a dissenting parish if…the priest makes up his own **short ** Eucharistic prayer (still keeping the words for consecration) and makes sure to always leave out “remembering your Church thourghout the whole world…together with our Pope JP2 and our Bishop and all the cleregy (Eucharistic Prayer 2)”

 

[Hopeful]

Ok, Moedom, this one hits too close to home.

…let me add a few more

…when the priest believes a statue of the Blessed Mother takes away the focus on Jesus in the Eucharist.

…when the chalices look like 70’s style pottery, and they are carried up to the altar on a cafeteria style tray.

Hopeful

 

[puzzleannie]

the pastor in his sermon tells you about his doubts and struggles with the faith, but informs you all is well because he has come to understand that the apostles did not right the new testament, Jesus miracles were fables to teach us how to share, and bishops don’t have the right to tell us how to vote— and at this point, the congregation applauds, because the bishops in their state had issued a joint statement calling Catholics to inform their voting decisions by Church teaching on abortion and other life issues.

all prayers, readings, including Eucharistic prayers are altered for inclusive language (side note, when are the transgendered people going to start protesting that “inclusive” language like “brothers and sisters” and “men and women” is excluding them?)

prayers invoking the Father are addressed to our Mother-Father God or to The Creator (like we address God by his/her/its job title)

did I mention, this occurs during Mass where several babies are baptized, whose families have travelled from all over the country to be there, and are prohibited from coming anywhere near the baptistry because all the children of the parish (at least 100) have to sit in a circle around the font. the parents and godparents had to fight their way thru, carrying screaming naked babies

baptism of infants is by immersion only, no dispensation even on doctor’s excuse, with the inevitable accidents involving boy babies during the interminable baptism rite, which has been altered to agree with the priest’s ideas of the rite (which differ markedly from the sacramentary)

we are seriously thinking of asking our own priest to re-baptize our grandson conditionally, not being at all sure what really went on here (no, he is not the one who had an accident, so we can’t retell the story when he is in Jr Hi)

 

[moedom]

puzzleannie:

(no, he is not the one who had an accident, so we can’t retell the story when he is in Jr Hi)

Another post above joggle my mind, which is easy to do

… if the priest says we don’t need to be praying to the flavour of the day. Refering to the Saints.

Moe

 

[futurenun]

… if you go during the homily of the Christmas Midnight Mass father pulls his guitar out from under the alter and starts singing the Beatles “Let it Be” and encouraging others to join in.

Yes it really happened. But he was on the board of Oregon Catholic Press so what do you expect?

 

[e-catholic]

You are at Mass momentarily anticipating the Concecration when everyone is suddenly saying “Hail Mary, Full of Grace…”

This happened every week for years. :tsktsk:

 

[Lida]

futurenun:

… if you go during the homily of the Christmas Midnight Mass father pulls his guitar out from under the alter and starts singing the Beatles “Let it Be” and encouraging others to join in.

Yes it really happened. But he was on the board of Oregon Catholic Press so what do you expect?

I thought you were talking about my parish! The same thing happened several months ago… but it wasn’t the priest, it was the cantor. It was still weird.

 

[Mograce]

…the priest leaves the altar at the sign of peace, wanders around hand-shaking then goes back up and proudly announces, "We priests are not supposed to do that. I don’t care though. I’ve just been disobedient to the old men in robes who are locked up their chapels all day never having to see women and crying babies who make up silly rules for the rest of us. "

You may be in a dissenting parish…

If that same priest shakes hands after Mass with a kind lady who thanks him for his service to the Church but tells him she was offended by his comments in Mass and the priest goes berzerk screaming at her, “You are hateful, hateful, HATEFULLLLL” & "How DARE you approach me! I can do whatever I want! You are the reason there is a priest shortage!..& continues to verbally attack the crying woman as she stammers apology after apology for upsetting him.

Unfortunately, a true story! People saw this happen…my friend was tramatized that this visiting priest did this to her and made such an unChristian scene when she only whispered her comments to him when they were away from others way after Mass was over and she was the last one in line to greet him.

 

[krazykatlady]

Whew! Sounds like the priest was a real drama queen!

 

[StephenB]

Again, the same woman who gave the Homily also voiced this opinion and told my convert Aunt that she did not have to go to Mass every Sunday. The list goes on.

Are you certain you’re in a Catholic Church?

Try this one on for size - You can call abortion a sin, but not call the the person who has an abortion a sinner…because you don’t know the state of mind or reason. (and we’re not talking double effect here.)