Younger women with older men

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MooCowSteph

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Hi all,

I don’t know if there are many here other than me who would benefit from this, but I thought I’d start a forum for those people married or dating someone older or younger than them. My husband is much older than me. Although our families are extremly supportive of our marriage and always have been, I am sometimes frustrated by the reactions and snap judgements of those who do not know us very well. It can be frustrating to make “couple friends” since we don’t know any couples quite like us. I just think people are so quick to judge that my husband is wierd, or that there is no way we have a “normal”, healthy marriage or have anything in common. We are very close, and indeed have a very strong, spiritual marriage.

Anyone else in the same situation? Why do people get so hung up on age? If you’re in this situation, come hang out here and we can support each other and chat. 😃
 
It depends just how big a difference you’re speaking of. Up to about 15 years or so seems to work out pretty well… at least by the time the wife is about 30. The age gap seems to narrow based on how old/young the younger spouse is.

We have a 12 year difference, and it has never been an issue socially, even though most of our friends are even younger than me. That’s because we had children later than most.

The older you get, the more comfortable you become in your own skin.
 
My husband and I have a 9 year age difference. I Do not know that the age part is an issue. Our families were/are very supportive. The joke is I was his mid life crisis. He had the car, the house, just not the blonde on his arm… LOL! All joking aside my husband is a very good man! He is a hopeless romantic and my best friend. We both had lived on our own so we are very independant people who had to learn how to rely on eacheother instead of just ourselves. He was the first person I dated that was older and I found that we could just talk and have meaningful conversations.

Now on the other hand, we have a “couple” that we are very close with. They were married right out of high school. They are the same age and they basically finished growing up together. They have a wonderful relationship too.

I don’t think that a reasonable age gap should be a factor in determining your future with someone. To be honest, I have never met anyone or made friends with anyone that has had a problem with out age difference. (at least not to my face) And if we get right down to it, my husband looks a lot older than me. He was raised on a farm and the sun has made early and deep wrinkles on his skin… It doesn’t matter to me though… He is still my forever love no matter what people think. It could be that my own perception of him is so wonderful, I just think everybody feels that way.
 
Age should not make any difference. And if anybody thinks that there is something wrong with a man being 25 years older than the woman then they are idiots.

Albert
 
Moderators, please check post 4. Someone has spent much of the day on this and other threads calling people “idiots”. Blatantly uncharitable, IMO.
 
Tantum ergo,

It is not against forum rules to refer to individuals as idiots.

Albert
 
Albert Kopsho:
Tantum ergo,

It is not against forum rules to refer to individuals as idiots.

Albert
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I’d have to agree with Tantum. As this is a Catholic Forum, it is highly uncharitable to name call and degrade others.
 
jrabs,

Well what other word should be used to describe someone who has a problem with the man being 25 years older than the woman? And if it is not against forum rules to refer to someone as an idiot, then there should not be any problem.

Albert
 
My boyfriend is 8 years older than me, but since men mature a little slower than women we are about the same age. So physically he’s 30, but mentally he’s about 25-26. I love him just the same though. :love:
 
Albert Kopsho:
jrabs,

Well what other word should be used to describe someone who has a problem with the man being 25 years older than the woman? And if it is not against forum rules to refer to someone as an idiot, then there should not be any problem.

Albert
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Sounds like you have carry over problems from a different thread. Problem here, Albert, is your’s. No one else on this thread has a problem. That’s exactly what this thread was opened for - to have a mature discussion and a place for people to go who are in relationship with age differences.

You’ve got trash from a different thread? Keep it on that other thread. Think of each new little thread as a brand new day - unique and fresh in it’s own right.
 
Albert Kopsho:
Tantum ergo,

It is not against forum rules to refer to individuals as idiots.

Albert
Click to expand...
Catholic Answer Forums Rules of Conduct:

  1. *]Messages posted to this board must be polite and free of personal attacks, threats, and crude or sexually-explicit language.
Click to expand...
 
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StratusRose:
My boyfriend is 8 years older than me, but since men mature a little slower than women we are about the same age. So physically he’s 30, but mentally he’s about 25-26. I love him just the same though. :love:
Click to expand...
That’s what my husband says…he was telling a friend whom he had not seen for many years, “yes, my wife’s a lot younger than me. There are some maturity issues there, but I’m cathing up”. He was joking, of course, but really, it’s the sense of fun and immaturity that I love about him, and what will make him a great dad, hopefully soon! He can’t wait to be a dad just to buy all the neat toys they’ve come out with since he was a boy!
 
jrabs,

I was not carrying anything over from another thread. The title of this thread is younger women with older men. That is the subject matter that I was making a coment about.

Albert
 
Albert, you want to marry a girl 25 years younger than you who is still in high school. We’ve all mentioned on the other thread what we think about that. Somehow, I don’t think that’s what Steph had in mind when she brought up this thread (feel free to correct me Steph, if I’m incorrect).

In my family, it’s older women with younger men. All of us females are a year older than our husbands (yeah, it’s not much). We keep teasing my sister-in-law that none of her recent boyfriends were the “one”, simply because they were older than her. 😃
 
When my husband and I met, I was 19 and he was 33. We had a long (5 year) courtship and will be celebrating our 8th wedding anniversay this June. Our age difference never bothered me.
 
I am 7 years older than my wife. Married for 15 years now.

But I’d never date anyone young enough to be my own child.
 
I’ve read the other thread started by Albert, and that is actually what prompted me to start this one. I was 18 when I met my husband, and 21 when we married. He is 18 years older than me. I have to say that from reading Albert’s thread, he seems to be more interested in having lots of children with a young woman that with a healthy relationship. Judging by all his posts (I apologize, Albert, if I am incorrect) I am not sure Albert has been honest in his posts. I think he is likely trying to start disagreements and shock people.

I have to say that I think my realtionship is unique in its ability to work dispite the age difference. My husband and I were just discussing what we would do if our grown daughter brought home a man who was 18 years older than her. We decided we would quite likely be hypocrites and disapprove. I don’t think our situation is right for everyone, especially if the reasons aren’t love, but procreation. I had a rough childhood and grew up much faster than I should have. Most people think I am at least 5-8 years older than I am (including my husband when I met him) and my husband happened to come of 10 years younger than he is.
 
I think big age differences mean less when one is 20 or so…to be 25 y/older than someone when they are still a child in highschool is not right. It’s the same as those teachers falling ‘in love’ with those young boys.

21 married to 45? Okay. Why not.

15 married to 40? I don’t think so, Tim.
 
Albert Kopsho:
jrabs,

Well what other word should be used to describe someone who has a problem with the man being 25 years older than the woman? And if it is not against forum rules to refer to someone as an idiot, then there should not be any problem.

Albert
Click to expand...
I would be wary of a man who wanted to marry a girl 25 years younger than he.

What is his reason for being interested in her? What can they possibly have in common in the way of experiences, maturity, knowledge etc.

What would they talk about? What would they do together? How could he see someone so much younger than himself as his equal?
 
Hermione,

My father knew a man in California who’s wife was 25 years younger than the man. We knew a family in the town that I live in where the man was 20 years older than his wife. My father was 12 years older than my mother and my mother’s father was also 12 years older than my mother’s mother. One reason why a man would want a wife who is 25 years younger than he is is so that when the last child is born the man will be almost 70 years old. If a man is 25 years older than his wife they would have a lot in common such as both being Catholic, both liking the same types of music and so forth and so on. Even though my father was 12 years older than my mother they had a lot of things in common like fishing, liking the same types of music.

Albert
 
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