Younger women with older men

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Albert Kopsho:
Hermione,

My father knew a man in California who’s wife was 25 years younger than the man. We knew a family in the town that I live in where the man was 20 years older than his wife. My father was 12 years older than my mother and my mother’s father was also 12 years older than my mother’s mother. One reason why a man would want a wife who is 25 years younger than he is is so that when the last child is born the man will be almost 70 years old. If a man is 25 years older than his wife they would have a lot in common such as both being Catholic, both liking the same types of music and so forth and so on. Even though my father was 12 years older than my mother they had a lot of things in common like fishing, liking the same types of music.

Albert
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Call me judgmental, but I think this is an irresponsible reason. A man who is 70 years old will not, in all probability, be a competent father. He will suffer from medical problems. He definitely will not be able to work to help his last child (and other children) go to college. He definitely will not be there to parent his teenage son or daughter. In fact, he will probably die before that child is 10 years old.

Unless he is rich, his wife would then have to get a full time job or two to support their children. The children who never had an active father would then lose their mother.

Is this fair to the children? Children deserve two parents who will be actively raising them, who will be around until they’re ready to stand on their own feet (which is usually after college), who will put them ahead of themselves…
 
I am in love with a man that is 10 years older than I am. I like the fact that he has been through some of the things that I have and I can always ask him what would you do or what did you do in the past. He is a wonderful person.

I think 10-15 years old is ok. When they get close to being the age of your parents though that is too much older.
 
Hermione,

The way medical technology is advancing men are living longer now well past 90 years of age and a lot of men are living past 100 years of age. When a man retires any minor children that are living at home get social security benefits until they finish school and also the man’s wife gets social security beneifts for taking care of the children. That is exactly what happened when my father retired at age 61, my brother who was 18 years old and I was 15 years old got social security benefits until we finished school and my mother got social security benefits for taking care of my brother and I. So it would not be any problem if a man is 70 years old when the last child is born.

Albert
 
The first BF I had was five years older than me. My ex husband was seven. My BF i had after him was nine years older and the Antichrist I’m living with currently is 10 years, 11 months, and 28 days older than me.
If I don’t stop… NOW… pretty soon I will be dating old men from the nursing home… and that’s no lie…

Also, you can’t always expect Social Security to be there… Bush is trying to change it so radically that its probably not going to last. People in this country are not used to having to work to earn a living – why exert yourself when its so much easier to have the taxpayers paying your way??? And yes it is the taxpayers – because I happen to know for a fact that the Social Security taxes they take out of our checks now, is the money they use to pay out to current recipients. They don’t take the money out for putting in a coffee can somewhere for later use by us… that would be far too difficult for them to keep their hands off it…They base the amount on how many years you worked plus how much you kicked into the system. Its really a quite convoluted thing. It would be far better to put your money into a Roth IRA or something of the sort so it will BE THERE WHEN YOU NEED IT!!!
At least I’ll have half my life expectancy left over when my children are grown and gone unlike my dear old dad who was having children at the SAME TIME I WAS and won’t be getting his life back until he’s sixty 😃 He has his boys, he’s happy, God bless him 🙂
 
OK, here’s the problem: it’s nothing wrong per se, but there’s a lot of room for complications. There are more important differences than the age difference. And I’m not speaking about only the woman being the younger one. If people fall in love… And if it is love, then what wrong about it?

But sometimes people who go cast their net on people much older or much younger, this happens for a reason. That’s why, if I had a daughter in her mid teens, I wouldn’t suffer any 20+ guys around her. Nor, if I were 40 and single, would I be altogether trustful towards girls in late teens hitting on me. Caution is crucial, I would say. Younger mates can be fresh meat, but older ones can be milking cows. It depends on the person’s motives.
 
I think the real issue here (with Albert) isn’t age but reason. You marry for love, not for some desire to have children with a younger woman. My husband is 18 years older than me and we couldn’t be happier. We are choosing to start our family now so that he will be around as the children grow. I want him to know his grandchildren, and at the least, be around to see his kids graduate college. We will not be having children until he’s 70. We’re hoping to have all our children by the time my husband is in his mid-50’s and I’m in my late 30’s.

The point here is, you never marry someone because of their age. You marry them because you love them very much and desire to spend your lives together. My husband and I, despite our age differences, have more in common with each other than anyone else. We have the same values, morals, life goals, we talk about politics, share common religious beliefs, have the same philosophy on child rearing, and the list goes on. People with large age gaps can have a lot in common. Sure, a typical 18 year old and a typical 35 year old may not have much in common, but our life experiences make up who we are and whether or not we are “typical”.
 
MooCowSteph,

Well of course love is the primary reason for marriage and having children is the secondary reason for marriage. But if a man who is 40 something years old gets married to a woman 40 years old they will never be able to have 10 children. So the man will have to marry a woman who is 20 or more years younger than the man in order to have 10 children.

Albert
 
Albert Kopsho:
MooCowSteph,

Well of course love is the primary reason for marriage and having children is the secondary reason for marriage. But if a man who is 40 something years old gets married to a woman 40 years old they will never be able to have 10 children. So the man will have to marry a woman who is 20 or more years younger than the man in order to have 10 children.

Albert
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:mad: :banghead: :tsktsk: :mad:
 
my fiance is 13 years older than I am

other than one store clerk calling her my mother once we’ve never had a problem

our families get along well

little things like songs or TV shows that were popular when we were kids can pose some conversation problems

“Hey. Do you remember…?”
“No”

but we also grew up in different parts of the country and I think that our cultural differences based on geography are bigger than any caused by age

but it is fun learning

besides, women live longer than men gernerally so this way we’ll die at the same time 😉
 
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Conster74:
At least I’ll have half my life expectancy left over when my children are grown and gone unlike my dear old dad who was having children at the SAME TIME I WAS and won’t be getting his life back until he’s sixty 😃 He has his boys, he’s happy, God bless him 🙂
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“Getting his life back?” My kids are what make my life worth living. But then I’m living backwards – I had my retirement before I really got into working, living like a hippy in a commune, in the woods, and travelled all over the US and Europe. Thought I’d do it while I could enjoy it.
I’ll be working til I’m seventy but that’s okay. I’ll have two kids in college then – hopefully they’ll qualify for scholarships to help out. I didn’t plan my life this way, it just turned out. God is very merciful to idiots (referring only to self).
PS My second husband is 17 years younger than me, but you’d never know it – he had a hard life.
 
If I found out that a 40+ year old man were having a relationship with my teenage daughter, I would punish her, kick his rear end, and then examine where I, as a father, failed miserably to instill any common sense whatsoever in my children.
 
Scott LaFrance,

If the girl is 18 years old then she is a legal adult and if she wishes to marry a man who is 25 years older then she is then her parents can not do a thing about it because she is a legal adult.

Albert
 
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Scott_Lafrance:
If I found out that a 40+ year old man were having a relationship with my teenage daughter, I would punish her, kick his rear end, and then examine where I, as a father, failed miserably to instill any common sense whatsoever in my children.
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And if I was a lawyer I would defend you in court:) God Bless
 
As Steph posted earlier, it is one thing to have an age difference between two people who have fallen in love with each other FOR each other, especially if both are mature. There are, indeed, many very mature 18 year olds out there as well as some very immature 40 year olds. . .

It is quite another to be looking for “love” for a person of a particular age purely for one’s own desire. Sugar daddy, anyone? American Gigolo?

I do wonder how Albert and his intended would make out if:
A. They wind up not being able to have children, or find out their children would suffer genetic flaws of a terminal nature.
B. Albert winds up with an early disability.
C. His wife winds up with an early disability.
D. The children wind up with disabilities.

The above scenarios are not uncommon; in fact, statistically speaking many more women than a generation ago are having difficulty with their pregnancies, from conception through birth. Many more children are being diagnosed with disabilities. Accident rates are way up–traffic, workplace, home-related, you name it.

Heaven knows that I don’t wish ill on a person. My own father was 29 years older than my mother. I am the 5th of 6th children, my younger brother is just a year younger than I. It was a love marriage of great beauty and joy. I loved my father dearly. He was a wonderful, fit, healthy, active man who went in for his yearly checkup at 67 (when I was 11) and was discovered to have advanced, inoperable cancer. He died a little less than a year later, having dropped from 200 to 90 lb. Yeah, my mom still gets social security 37 years later, a whopping $600 check a month–and SHE worked, too. $600 a month in the late 60s went a heck of a lot further than it does now, I can sure tell Albert that.

My sister married a man 25 years older than she; he had 4 children ages 9-13 and they had one child a year after marriage, now 25. Again, it was a love marriage. In 1993 less than a year after his late-life ordination as an Episcopal priest, he went for HIS yearly checkup and was discovered to have advanced, inoperable cancer. . .he died in 1994. My sister was blessed to meet a man 2 years ago (they are less than a year apart in age) whom she married this past August.

I married a man 6 years older than I. We talked about having as many children as the Lord sent us. I won’t go into harrowing detail here but the reason my now EX husband wanted children was a very evil one, and his abuse was inhuman.

Thnik very carefully about marrying someone, even someone who seems to be just wonderful and seems to share your beliefs, character and faith, if he or she has a “bee in the bonnet” about one particular area. If he or she seems to focus more on that area than anything else, the odds are that it is for a SELFISH reason. It may not be an immoral one, but it surely will be for a selfish one. And it is selfish to focus so much on one’s OWN desires, even “good” things like the wish for children, so much that it becomes the ONLY real reason one wants to marry a particular person.

Would Albert marry his intended if she turned out to be incapable of having children, even if in every other way she was an admirable woman? If he wouldn’t, then he doesn’t want to marry a woman, he wants to marry a brood mare and replicate himself, IMO. Having children is important, and being open to them is important, but being sterile is no impediment to marriage and no reason to NOT marry a person.

Food for thought. . .
 
You hit it right on, sounds like he just wants to breed and that sounds terrible but it doesn’t even sound like he is thinking of how hard having kids can be on a woman, I was 19 when I had my first and it was HARD, I was very mature and it was still hard and I had a baby who had colic for 6 months, the real stuff, the screaming 18 hours non stop, no sleep, and if my husband said, hey hurry up I want 10 more, at that point I think I would have had a break down, marriage is more than just making babies, its also raising them too until they leave home its not just a roll in the hay, it never ends and as my mom will say, no matter how old your child gets even when they are 50 they are still your child and you still worry about them, you are a parent always and hoping that social security will be good enough is pretty pathetic and what says this much, much younger wife doesn’t just find you pretty pathetic when your oh so old and she is oh so young, it does happen, sounds very sad, just marry this gal, keep her pregnant all the time so you can hold control over her? How much life have you lived at 18? NONE, so your ready to marry and start having babies non stop? Hey this is not some third world country and that is pretty sad, thank God for my husband who is 9 years older than me, who works full time and then some, who wants me to have a life outside of making babies and watching them, he wants me to have interests outside the home and he will not retire until our children are graduated, and he has Awesome life insurance as do I so we won’t have to soley depend on a tiny s.s. check to get by and if my husband God forbid died right now or myself, we would be fine as far as money, I would at some point need to work but not right away as we have that good of life ins.
That is called being responsible and not expecting the govt. to pick up your ****, if you can create life you darn well be able to pay for that life, that is being responsible, God does not want us having children if we can’t take care of them ourselves and teens are very difficult, how would you like to be in your 70’s dealing with an out of control teen? ha, good luck, gramps!!
 
Albert you are absolutely transparent in your agenda:tsktsk: I addressed you on the other thread,you are looking for a baby breeder not a wife:eek: You have methodically planned the number of children and her college schedual so the she can take care of the children:banghead: In addition to that you have planned on acertain age you want to make sure you are still having children and in order to accomplish that you have planned on what age your intended victim would have to be:eek: This is not about love or age difference it is about your plans and by what means You can achieve them! It is the exploitation of a teen for your own means.Shame:tsktsk:
 
Albert, any older pervert who ruins a girls life when she is just out of highschool is an idiot!!!
Lisa right on!!! Albert, find a woman your own age and adopt. Try behaving like a big boy, really it won’t hurt.
 
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kamz:
You hit it right on, sounds like he just wants to breed and that sounds terrible but it doesn’t even sound like he is thinking of how hard having kids can be on a woman, I was 19 when I had my first and it was HARD, I was very mature and it was still hard and I had a baby who had colic for 6 months, the real stuff, the screaming 18 hours non stop, no sleep, and if my husband said, hey hurry up I want 10 more, at that point I think I would have had a break down, marriage is more than just making babies, its also raising them too until they leave home its not just a roll in the hay, it never ends and as my mom will say, no matter how old your child gets even when they are 50 they are still your child and you still worry about them, you are a parent always and hoping that social security will be good enough is pretty pathetic and what says this much, much younger wife doesn’t just find you pretty pathetic when your oh so old and she is oh so young, it does happen, sounds very sad, just marry this gal, keep her pregnant all the time so you can hold control over her? How much life have you lived at 18? NONE, so your ready to marry and start having babies non stop? Hey this is not some third world country and that is pretty sad, thank God for my husband who is 9 years older than me, who works full time and then some, who wants me to have a life outside of making babies and watching them, he wants me to have interests outside the home and he will not retire until our children are graduated, and he has Awesome life insurance as do I so we won’t have to soley depend on a tiny s.s. check to get by and if my husband God forbid died right now or myself, we would be fine as far as money, I would at some point need to work but not right away as we have that good of life ins.
That is called being responsible and not expecting the govt. to pick up your ****, if you can create life you darn well be able to pay for that life, that is being responsible, God does not want us having children if we can’t take care of them ourselves and teens are very difficult, how would you like to be in your 70’s dealing with an out of control teen? ha, good luck, gramps!!
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:clapping:
 
Albert’s contributions to this thread are practically grossing me out. It’s so SICK. I have a 17 year old sister and a 19 year old sister and I just can’t imagine either of them in the clutches of someone with an agenda like his…
 
Let us say perhaps his new bride had trouble becoming pregnant?
My cousin started trying at 21 to get pregnant and it took 9 years, they NEVER expected that and her pregnancy was awful and she has since had a hysterectomy, none of this is something you ever would have thought of in someone this young, so Albert, would you divorce your wife if she had trouble getting pregnant? OR she has one and almost dies or has an emergency c-section? Then what? How can you say with certainty when, how many, etc. you’ll have kids? Even a fertile woman has trouble planning when she will get pregnant and miscarriage is common, I had two between the ages of 21 and 24, this whole thing makes me think of a dog in heat not a man who loves a woman more like a man molesting a child, gross, gross, gross, may God grant you no children until you open your eyes and repent your greedy attitude. :mad:
 
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