When christians talk about loving their enemies, why do they think that is strictly a christian quality? I’m thinking of just one thing right now that I consider loving an enemy that happened to my family late last year. My cousin was killed by a drunk driver. The teenager who killed her asked to come to the funeral, was very remorseful of what he had done. Our family was in shock and devastated, confused and angry but when we saw how that teenager was hurting so much also we were able to forgive him. Well, most of us anyway.
I think the thing that non-religious people may not understand is the graces that those of us with faith have and receive.
Kindness, respect, treating others as how we wish to be treated, love, etc. all those good qualities and attributes are not exclusive to people who have faith or have a religion. And I don’t think that anyone here is really saying that. At least I don’t get that impression.
I, personally, don’t view “love your enemies” as an exclusive Christian quality. Some people might believe this, but I would venture to say they were incorrect in their thinking.
I’ve been thinking about this thread and wondering how I could explain grace to you. It’s tough because even though I was lapsed for nearly 2 decades, I did grow up in the Catholic church and so grace was just sort of understood, so to speak. But I’m finding out that after coming back I still have a lot to learn about it. The only thing I can do right now is refer to the Catechism of the Catholic church.
Here is an excerpt:
2004 Among the special graces ought to be mentioned the graces of state that accompany the exercise of the responsibilities of the Christian life and of the ministries within the Church:
Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; he who teaches, in his teaching; he who exhorts, in his exhortation; he who contributes, in liberality; he who gives aid, with zeal; he who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.
ref:
vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/__P6Z.HTM
That whole page referenced in the CCC is on “Grace.” And I’m sure it will raise more questions with you.
Part of what helps a Catholic to live by the “golden rule” is that we look to Christ as our role model. I think that’s why there’s that whole, “What would Jesus do?” thing. I don’t know where that originated from, but it’s essentially what I’m talking about.
It is what helps us to persevere in the face of our trials, when times are tough, when it looks like or feels like God has abandoned us. Especially in particular situations. Grace works instantly. Grace works slowly.
ah ha! I just thought of two examples, I will only mention one.
Grace, a free gift from God to me, is what helped me to forgive my father when he left me and my mom (leaving her a single mother) for nearly 38 years. When we reconnected it was NOT the lovey dovey 30 minute Hallmark Moments you see on T.V. I promise you it wasn’t. Grace is what softened my heart to forgiveness and helped remind that if I had done something so horrible and I had repented I’d want forgiveness from others, so I should do the same in return. (“Do unto others [forgive them] as they would do unto you [forgive you.]”) I hadn’t even come back to the Catholic church at that time. But it was, truly, by God’s special grace that I was able to forgive my father. It was God’s grace (probably more like His hand over my mouth!) that I did not tell an old man off everything I wanted to say - much of which would probably kill him. It is God’s grace that reminds me of the forgiveness I had already imparted and so not to hold against that man what he did, or did not, do.
I see God’s grace working in people who don’t realize it. Because I believe that from God all good things come, the situation you described is God’s very special grace working, in both the teenager who killed your cousin and your family’s forgiveness of him/her.
But to get to your point: there are plenty of people who live by the Golden Rule but aren’t religious or even faithful. When we add in the graces we receive through the sacraments and by asking, it helps us to push beyond what we thought we could cope.
Faith works in conjunction with the Golden Rule. They’re not mutually exclusive, although they can be found exclusively in individuals.