You've got to be kidding me

[aloe]

It’s one thing to go see a gyno because you think you have a possibly fatal condition…but another thing to see one because you’re “dysfunctional” with absolutely no cause.

Actually routine exams on women are to prevent possibly fatal conditions. If someone waits until they think they have symptoms, it can be very deadly indeed as many don’t have clear symptoms until it is very late in the disease, they can be silent killers. If it gets to that point one gyne exam is the least of the worries by that point and lots more doctors are to follow. Routine preventative care can prevent that deadly serious situation from occurring as many can be caught early and even cured. And even if you yourself haven’t been sexually active in any manner, if your husband ever has you have been given his sexual history as well and need to go to routine exams for your own health.

Also, if you ever get pregnant you are examined often down there even if it is a normally pregnancy, much more if you are high risk. This is to make sure your little one is healthy and is developing normally. No one likes these things, I hate them but it is just a part of life. A short part of life and then life goes on. Some people also fear the dentist, so bad they don’t go and their teeth become badly decayed. Anxiety of that level about doctors can cause people to avoid care they really need and deserve.

So perhaps seeking out another therapist might be of value to you to deal with anxiety. Before some procedures when a patient is full of lots of anxiety a doctor can prescribe something to help for that day only. You have so much anxiety you can’t even bring yourself to go to the doctor to talk because you are scared they won’t help. But what if the best case happened and they did indeed help? The flip side of this is by reaching out to a doctor you could get the help to make your life better.

 

[domandcarols]

You would not “be comfortable” with your girlfriend getting a routine gyno exam? That is sad. If you want her to be healthy, you better get comfortable with it.

Once a woman gets pregnant and as she labors and delivers, there is a whole lot of examining going on for the baby’s and moms health.

If one is not comfortable with a basic gyno exam, one is not ready for the responsibility of being married.

Lol if she had to get one I’d be okay with it but it would make me panicky. I know I’ll have to get used to it. I was just saying I understand how her and her husband feel.

 

[Luna_Lovecraft]

I think I forgot to mention things.
I’m only 20.
I’ve been married for 4 months…
No past sexual abuse…or any abuse as far as I know…and I’m not really one to block out traumatic memories

I’d probably see a gyno before I see a psychologist again. I no offense to any psychologists out there, but I hate psychologists…they seem to want to dig into a painful past I don’t have. Maybe my grandfather hates me for no apparent reason…I can’t seem to have sex no matter how hard I try and I’ve met my fair share of selfish people that…for lack of a better phrase…screwed me over because all they cared about was themselves…but I pretty much consider myself normal…and over it. Plus the last thing I want is to be told to do yoga or go on medication again…

Also…can people stop assuming I’m about to die because I’ve never seen a gyno? If you need to know…my periods are normal…my whole cycle is normal…I don’t have any awkward discharge that shouldn’t be there…and up until now…I haven’t been sexually active or in need of birth control.

Is it perhaps possible that maybe…just maybe…and even a Catholic woman from a medical and professional standpoint I’m still uncomfortable with letting a complete stranger examine me “down there”?

And just because my husband isn’t comfortable it doesn’t mean he’s stopping me. It’s one thing to go see a gyno because you think you have a possibly fatal condition…but another thing to see one because you’re “dysfunctional” with absolutely no cause.

I like how people told me not to diagnose myself on the internet…did I? No. I never once claimed I had it…and rather…it was on my other post people told me to look it up!

I’m never going to win with you guys. Maybe if someone actually tried walking a mile in my shoes for a change.

ChildofGod, I’ve tried to put my reply as kindly as I know how to do. If you find my words abrasive, I apologize in advance.

You must think about how you’re using these threads. CAF posters cannot act in the capacity of physicians or psychologists. We cannot diagnose you, and we cannot offer cures. So information about your menstrual cycle or vaginal discharges, we don’t need to know any of that.

It seems to me you’re coming here needing kind of validation for not seeking medical attention. We absolutely cannot do that for a whole host of ethical and moral reasons.

So many other posters have given you moral support, and you’ve gotten number private messaging offers from women who’ve gone through what you’re experiencing. We’ve assured you over and over and over that there is nothing wrong with a physician seeing or touching your genitalia in order to examine your reproductive system. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. It’s not sinful; it’s not weird; it’s not dirty; it’s not naughty; it’s not immodest. If anything it’s the height of responsibility and maturity to seek medical advice.

The way I see it, the rest is up to you. Period. To see or not see a physician is ultimately your decision to make. To see or not see a psychologist also is ultimately up to you.

But to come here seeking support to only turn around and petulantly chide people who’ve tried to help you is adolescent behavior. None of the advice on this thread is information that you shouldn’t already know at your age and station in life. Accept it graciously.

And see a doctor.

Luna

 

[sdeco]

I had vaginismus when I first got married. Sex was very painful for me and we couldn’t consummate the marriage at first.

I went to the doctor right away, used vaginal dilators, and the problem was completely resolved in three months. I’ve since had 3 children and have no trouble with climaxing and no sexual problems.

The treatment was not scary or painful at all. You just gradually insert bigger and bigger dilators for longer and longer periods of time.

I did not see a psychologist, because using the dilators completely resolved the problem. I had had sexual feelings and impure thoughts before, so it wasn’t that I had an aversion to anything sexual. I think I just had a mental block about putting anything “in there.” I couldn’t use tampons for a long time either.

It was kind of like having a fear of heights. The best way to get over a fear of heights is to simply go somewhere up high, and keep doing it until you’re used to it, not sit on a couch and analyze why you’re afraid of heights. The cure for vaginismus for me was the dilators. I still don’t know why I had the problem, but it doesn’t really matter, because it’s cured.

I don’t know you or your particular situation, so you might need a psychologist, but you might not. I didn’t. I’ve noticed people on this forum tend to jump to conclusions and are very quick to jump on the “There’s something horribly wrong with you!!!” bandwagon.

But definitely see an Gyn. Not only do you need yearly pap smears now that you’re sexually active, there is an easy cure for vaginismus with a high success rate.

 

[DeniseNY]

Actually routine exams on women are to prevent possibly fatal conditions. If someone waits until they think they have symptoms, it can be very deadly indeed as many don’t have clear symptoms until it is very late in the disease, they can be silent killers. .

For example, cervical cancer.

 

[Castello]

A routine gyn exam should be part of marriage preparations for any bride-to-be. Make sure you are healthy.

The use of terms like “down there”, maybe if you get comfortable with the proper terms for your body that will help?

 

[TheWatcher]

A routine gyn exam should be part of marriage preparations for any bride-to-be. Make sure you are healthy.

The use of terms like “down there”, maybe if you get comfortable with the proper terms for your body that will help?

I noticed a lot of people are uncomfortable with the proper terms. There is nothing dirty about “pap” or “vagina” or “uterus.”

I knew someone who was really uncomfortable with seeing doctors and would use all sorts of weird phrases. Using real terms helped her overcome the mental bias she had about going. I doubt it was the only thing that helped but it was one contributing factor.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

You have one excuse after another after another. Here’s what it comes down to: Either you deeply love your husband and truly meant what you said at the alter on your wedding day and you were mature enough to make that decision in the first place…or not.

If you love your husband, meant your vows, and are mature enough for marriage then you will do what you know you need to do and go to a doctor for help and willingly accept treatment for whatever condition you have, no matter how uncomfortable it is.

If you aren’t then you are inevitably headed for a civil divorce and an annulment.

I really don’t see what part of this you aren’t getting or what more you want out of this thread.

 

[petitfleur]

I don’t have anything new to add, if you really want to resove this you will at least go to a doctor, if not you won’t.

One quick tidbit though…I had my first abnormal pap smear at 19, and was not sexually active. My periods and everything else were normal.
Last fall I had a lump in my leg, I went through lots of tests saw a few different doctors and had the lump (non cancerous thank God) removed. During all that waiting one thing I was grateful for was I called the DR the second I discovered the lump. If it were cancer, I would of had such remorse for putting off those tests.
The point is, if you don’t take care of your health you have to live with those consequences, and cause pain to those who love you.

 

[EasterJoy]

I think I forgot to mention things.
I’m only 20.
I’ve been married for 4 months…
No past sexual abuse…or any abuse as far as I know…and I’m not really one to block out traumatic memories

I’d probably see a gyno before I see a psychologist again. I no offense to any psychologists out there, but I hate psychologists…they seem to want to dig into a painful past I don’t have. Maybe my grandfather hates me for no apparent reason…I can’t seem to have sex no matter how hard I try and I’ve met my fair share of selfish people that…for lack of a better phrase…screwed me over because all they cared about was themselves…but I pretty much consider myself normal…and over it. Plus the last thing I want is to be told to do yoga or go on medication again…

Also…can people stop assuming I’m about to die because I’ve never seen a gyno? If you need to know…my periods are normal…my whole cycle is normal…I don’t have any awkward discharge that shouldn’t be there…and up until now…I haven’t been sexually active or in need of birth control.

Is it perhaps possible that maybe…just maybe…and even a Catholic woman from a medical and professional standpoint I’m still uncomfortable with letting a complete stranger examine me “down there”?

And just because my husband isn’t comfortable it doesn’t mean he’s stopping me. It’s one thing to go see a gyno because you think you have a possibly fatal condition…but another thing to see one because you’re “dysfunctional” with absolutely no cause.

I like how people told me not to diagnose myself on the internet…did I? No. I never once claimed I had it…and rather…it was on my other post people told me to look it up!

I’m never going to win with you guys. Maybe if someone actually tried walking a mile in my shoes for a change.

You say you’re “never going to win” with “you guys”, but you are a) mostly talking to women and b) being fairly frustrating yourself in terms of rejecting every reasonable suggestion concerning how your problem might be dealt with.

Your “dysfunction” is not without cause. It just doesn’t have a cause that you understand. I don’t know how badly you or your husband want to understand the problem, let alone solve it, because you’re not willing to take any of the steps most reasonably likely to address this problem that prompted you to come to us.

Are you assuming that you’re the only Catholic woman who had any difficulty with the idea of being examined “down there”? That none of us had any visceral reservations. I doubt if any of us were wild about the idea of going to the gynecologist our first time.

As has been pointed out previously:
Can. 1084 §1. Antecedent and perpetual impotence to have intercourse, whether on the part of the man or the woman, whether absolute or relative, nullifies marriage by its very nature.
**§2. **If the impediment of impotence is doubtful, whether by a doubt about the law or a doubt about a fact, a marriage must not be impeded nor, while the doubt remains, declared null.

In other words, maybe this won’t kill you, but after 4 months of suffering and angst, you still haven’t been able to consumate your marriage. That is a) not normal and b) qualifies as a serious gynecological issue. It isn’t threatening your life, but it is preventing your attempt at marriage from being realized.

If you hoped that we’d have an easy answer or support you in the hope that the problem would resolve without you having to go out of your comfort zone, that is both unfortunate and profoundly unrealistic. As far as what you and your husband are going to do about it, it is up to you to decide which is more uncomfortable: the zone you are in or the zone you fear. It’s your decision to make, and the consequences will be yours to live with.

You’re in the position of someone who’s gone out fishing but can’t stand the thought of putting the bait on the hook. There is no magic third way on this one. Maybe you won’t succeed, but either do what is reasonably necessary to bait the hook or else pull in the line and bring the boat in. I don’t know what else to say to you.

I don’t have anything new to add, if you really want to resove this you will at least go to a doctor, if not you won’t.

One quick tidbit though…I had my first abnormal pap smear at 19, and was not sexually active. My periods and everything else were normal.
Last fall I had a lump in my leg, I went through lots of tests saw a few different doctors and had the lump (non cancerous thank God) removed. During all that waiting one thing I was grateful for was I called the DR the second I discovered the lump. If it were cancer, I would of had such remorse for putting off those tests.
The point is, if you don’t take care of your health you have to live with those consequences, and cause pain to those who love you.

Good point. There is a reason that insurance companies normally pay for regular gynecological exams for 20 year olds, but won’t pay for annual mammograms until women are over 40. It’s because preventative medicine is worth the trouble and expense, particularly in screening for serious problems that are far easier to treat before they cause the difficult symptoms that come when the disease has advanced.

 

[petitfleur]

I have a question. If you are not willing to go to a doctor, what kind of answer did you want?
The people who have been through what you have, have gone to doctors for the solution, they shared their personal experience.
I think most of us genuinely care for your situation and are trying to be helpful.

 

[Debora123]

You have one excuse after another after another. Here’s what it comes down to: Either you deeply love your husband and truly meant what you said at the alter on your wedding day and you were mature enough to make that decision in the first place…or not.

If you love your husband, meant your vows, and are mature enough for marriage then you will do what you know you need to do and go to a doctor for help and willingly accept treatment for whatever condition you have, no matter how uncomfortable it is.

If you aren’t then you are inevitably headed for a civil divorce and an annulment.

I really don’t see what part of this you aren’t getting or what more you want out of this thread.

:clapping::clapping::clapping:

 

[mamaslo]

are you kidding me about divorce?! She should be encouraged that he loves her. why would he leave her and divorce her automatically? I know your reasons, but theres’ nothing like a bunch of people heaping on the pressure so she can develop a psychological issue. Patience!

Be patient with yourself. You are so young. Going to the doctor is part of having a sex life though, I am sorry about that…at least in this day and age. But you don’t have to.

What’s the hurry, you have the rest of your life. You two will get the hang of each other.

peace.

 

[EasterJoy]

are you kidding me about divorce?! She should be encouraged that he loves her. why would he leave her and divorce her automatically? I know your reasons, but theres’ nothing like a bunch of people heaping on the pressure so she can develop a psychological issue. Patience!

Be patient with yourself. You are so young. Going to the doctor is part of having a sex life though, I am sorry about that…at least in this day and age. But you don’t have to.

What’s the hurry, you have the rest of your life. You two will get the hang of each other.

peace.

I don’t think anyone* wants* them to get a divorce. We also don’t think it likely that she and her husband are called to a Josephite marriage. If they never have sex, their marriage has a very very poor chance of survival. That’s just the truth.

The ability to engage in intercourse is intrinsic to the meaning of marriage. This is not a matter of “hey, this isn’t life-threatening, we can afford to do nothing and maybe it will get better.” *We wish we could tell her that, but it is not the truth!! * The truth is her chances of successfully overcoming this issue by a “grin and bear it” approach are somewhere between not good and remote. Yes, maybe doing nothing will work, but “doing nothing” the way they’ve been doing it could make the problem worse. By her own account, what is a physical issue at the very least is already becoming a psychological issue. Neither does the decision to get no help guarantee that this couple will ever know what “be patient” looks like when it comes to vaginismus.

With regards to going to a gynecologist, it is not just part of marriage. Although a woman might decide to opt out of the dictates of Western medicine, consecrated virgins get regular gynecological care, too. It is not a violation of their modesty or purity to do so.

But you are right about this: This is not a problem to be afraid of. It is nothing to beat herself up over. It happens. Couples figure it out. We have to be clear: not all couples figure it out, and couples who get help tend to figure it out more often and more quickly than couples who don’t. We don’t say that in order to scare her, though. The intent is to reassure her that the problem is not rare and has been successfully treated by medicine. She is not doomed to have this problem forever.

The other thing is that she is free to go to a doctor and decide not to take the doctor’s advice. She does not give up her autonomy by talking to a doctor. She can get the information and still do what she and her husband think seems right after she gets that knowledge.

 

[Mummsie]

Hello Child of God,

I hear a lot of fear in your posts. That is totally understandable. I am a double cancer survivor. Each time I was faced with it, I had to force myself to take the first step toward recovery and healing. One step only. I tried not to worry about what would happen next. After I got through the first step, I took the second step. One step at a time I got through it.

Maybe you could make a first step. Ask some of your friends or family if they know a good female GYN. That’s all. You don’t have to tell them anything about why you want to see a GYN. Just get her name and number. After that you can think about your next step.

Like another post, I actually took my daughter to her first GYN appointment. (I made the appointment too) I know it helped her. A friend or family member might be able to support you in this.

My favorite prayer that has gotten me through so many hard times:

The Serenity Prayer
God grant me
The Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
and the Wisdom to know the difference.

I’ll be praying for you.

 

[mamaslo]

Hello Child of God,

I hear a lot of fear in your posts. That is totally understandable. I am a double cancer survivor. Each time I was faced with it, I had to force myself to take the first step toward recovery and healing. One step only. I tried not to worry about what would happen next. After I got through the first step, I took the second step. One step at a time I got through it.

Maybe you could make a first step. Ask some of your friends or family if they know a good female GYN. That’s all. You don’t have to tell them anything about why you want to see a GYN. Just get her name and number. After that you can think about your next step.

Like another post, I actually took my daughter to her first GYN appointment. (I made the appointment too) I know it helped her. A friend or family member might be able to support you in this.

My favorite prayer that has gotten me through so many hard times:

The Serenity Prayer
God grant me
The Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
and the Wisdom to know the difference.

I’ll be praying for you.

I am sorry if I missed this, but where is your mom? She didn’t want to take you for your first exam? My mom felt like it was her duty to be there for me, even if I didn’t tell her anything. But if it is because you don’t have her to go to, I am sorry i brought it up.

However, as caring as these ladies have been on here, with anxieties and all the things you are dealing with, compared to me you are so young. Maybe you pushed yourself to get married, maybe you are pushing yourself to do this, maybe you are pushing yourself to rise to the challenge of pregnancy but are living under someone elses roof…and now it just seems like you came here and got a lot of pressure about keeping your marriage together because you are conflicted.

I get the idea, you keep yourself from thinking that way for probably 5-10 years and now…tada…you HAVE to throw all that chastity out the window. It’s all pressure. I still say keep talking with your husband about how you are feeling. This could be a very important step in his growth as a true, gentle and kind husband. You may be wired very tight. You have experienced anxiety, is it because you were never sure you should have done this? or is it some other negative thing you have repeating in your head?

Letting down your guard after keeping it up for so long may just be you, and all the people you are asking for advice, your inlaws, yourhusband etc, heaping pressure on you. At 20 I wasn’t living my life the way you did, but if your husband is your other half…then you two need to be patient and talk. He should care about your peace about being one with him.

The anxiety you are having over this, you may want to get counselling over, if you find one you like, because there could be doubts added on and could hurt you later, just because maybe you didn’t wait long enough to solve what was going on inside. Maybe you did it because you felt you should, the right thing to do, maybe you did ti because of pressure.

I am just throwing things out at you but do not ignore your anxiety, there is something you need to look at. It is biting you now, it will really bite you later. even if you have the nicest husband in the world, if he wasn’t the right one for you or you felt something else should have happened first or …God called you tot something else…or if it’s just anxiety in shifting gears or what people are thinking about your life and what you and your husband are doing.
If you cannot do this yourself, have someone help you figure out what your anxiety is. Maybe a priest could help, but I am not sure if he would understand this, but maybe.

Oh…pray. Go to eucharistic adoration, bring a journal, write your feelings down, and wait for whatever comes next and write that down. I am sorry I didn’t mention this sooner…maybe the Holy Spirit has been trying to tell you something. All I know is you need to be honest with yourself regardless of what is winding you up.

I had stomach spasms 2 or 3 months after my wedding, but i pushed myself too. So please do not ignore what you are anxious about.

 

[twoangels]

At the risk of being yelled at and essentially being told that I’m a terrible, selfish wife again, I’m back with all my sexual problems.

In case you haven’t seen my previous post…sex is painful, and I’m really uncomfortable with seeing a gyno…and I had some emotional issues to deal with that too. Everyone keeps telling me to look up vaginismus.

And psychologically…not much has changed. I recently got off of Effexor, but I haven’t been dealing with any withdrawal effects. That was about 2 months ago. The depression and anxiety side of things…isn’t bad. I’m pretty much fine. Family life hasn’t been great so I’ve been dealing with trying to not be angry at people but that’s about it.
I’ve pretty much gotten over the whole losing my virginity thing. I think after getting everything tied up after the wedding kind of made it seem real. So I don’t know.

Still have tons of pain though. So I decided to look up vaginismus, especially since it has such a high success rate so I figured if it fit then that was great and I was pretty optimistic. And it does seem to fit.

The treatment process sounds terrific. Except it doesn’t. As if my husband are already uncomfortable with even seeing a Catholic, female gyno, trying to diagnose it sounds kind of painful (if I already don’t have to see a bunch of doctors before one actually considers I have a problem rather than just saying to “try harder” and “use more lube or more foreplay” which apparently happens frequently…which I don’t have the money for.) and the actual treatment process involves dialaters? Not only does that…again…sound painful…but I can barely stick a freaking tampon in there, nor do I really enjoy doing that WITHOUT the pain. I’m pretty sure my husband wouldn’t exactly be comfortable with this either…but he’s sleeping so I haven’t exactly asked him.

All in all…I’m pretty frustrated…I really don’t want to do this, and I’m about ready to just tell him it’s probably not even worth it to be with me. It’s turning into one, huge, painful, nightmare.

Somebody tell me there’s more options than that. There has to be…seriously…are there other options?

There is botox treatment with dialators, but that is really expensive. PM’ing you

 

[twoangels]

As any doctor will tell you, don’t diagnose yourself on the internet!!!

Unforunately, with vaginismus, this is often where you have to start. Getting a proper diagnosis is difficult. I had issues with vaginismus pretty much from age 14 on. I went to several doctors (too many to count) and was told countless things. I also was not motivated to seek it out too much beyond just mentioning it again at a doctor’s appointment, but eventually I found out about vaginismus online. Because I knew about it eventually I got the courage to bring it up to a doctor again, while fearing failure again. This time my new doctor immediately knew what it was.

The main thing with vaginismus and getting a proper diagnosis is making sure that there is not an actual physical problem that needs to be solved medically. Vaginismus is mostly a mental issue with a conditioned muscular response. The fear in the mind with the negative experiences conditions the muscles to tense.

 

[twoangels]

I think I forgot to mention things.
I’m only 20.
I’ve been married for 4 months…
No past sexual abuse…or any abuse as far as I know…and I’m not really one to block out traumatic memories

Vaginismus very rarely is about being sexually violated. It tends to have more to do with how you were raised to think about sex and your genital area. There are some rape victims that have it, but rape is not the number one cause of it.

Being only 20 has nothing to do with your difficulties.

I’d probably see a gyno before I see a psychologist again. I no offense to any psychologists out there, but I hate psychologists…they seem to want to dig into a painful past I don’t have. Maybe my grandfather hates me for no apparent reason…I can’t seem to have sex no matter how hard I try and I’ve met my fair share of selfish people that…for lack of a better phrase…screwed me over because all they cared about was themselves…but I pretty much consider myself normal…and over it. Plus the last thing I want is to be told to do yoga or go on medication again…

I don’t like psychologists either and have tended to be argumentative with them as well. But its important to recognize that you’re not thinking about this rationally. Till you recognize that, you will continue to spin in circles and stay stuck where you are.

Also…can people stop assuming I’m about to die because I’ve never seen a gyno? If you need to know…my periods are normal…my whole cycle is normal…I don’t have any awkward discharge that shouldn’t be there…and up until now…I haven’t been sexually active or in need of birth control.

You’re not able to have intercourse. That is reason to investigate why. You’re being illogical here.

Is it perhaps possible that maybe…just maybe…and even a Catholic woman from a medical and professional standpoint I’m still uncomfortable with letting a complete stranger examine me “down there”?

Most people are uncomfortable, but the level of fear and discomfort you’re describing while very similiar to the levels I had is not even normal for a 12 year old.

And just because my husband isn’t comfortable it doesn’t mean he’s stopping me. It’s one thing to go see a gyno because you think you have a possibly fatal condition…but another thing to see one because you’re “dysfunctional” with absolutely no cause.

I like how people told me not to diagnose myself on the internet…did I? No. I never once claimed I had it…and rather…it was on my other post people told me to look it up!

I’m never going to win with you guys. Maybe if someone actually tried walking a mile in my shoes for a change.

I’ve been in your shoes. I wasn’t married at 20. Around the age of 20 I irrationally decided I didn’t care if I died of cervical cancer, I was going to quit trying to solve my issues, go into denial about them and run away from them. I know the defensiveness. I know the irrationality of it. I know getting caught in pity parties about it. I’m thankful I didn’t marry till I was 29 when I was actually ready to confront it and solve it.

It still was not easy. I cried some days. I shivered just looking at the treatment kit. The idea of using dialators with a physical therapist seemed insane, so the kit was the best route for me to go.

Its good you looked it up. That’s a first step! Give yourself a pat on the back and move forward.

 

[sanctamaria17]

I’ve been sexually assaulted in the past and I’m naturally extremely sensitive to touch. Interestingly enough, it’s not sex that scares me, it’s my visit to the gynecologist. I’ve never been to one, I’ve heard horror stories about physically rough doctors, insensitive doctors, etc.

My doctor is highly rated for her bedside manner. I have left a note (scheduled appointment online) letting her know I’m nervous and why, as well as my religious beliefs (in case the Pill comes up). At the same time, I still asked one of my friends to come for support. My fiance would come but he’s traveling that week.

No one should be judging you. It’s very scary to go to the doctor about certain things, especially when faced with painful tests.

I’ll be praying for you You can do this. I’ll pray that you get resources and courage