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SuperLuigi
Guest
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grasscutter
Guest
Very nice!
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misspriss
Guest
Love it!
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Anglewannabe
Guest
I actually found it somewhat offensive. He seems to imply that all young people have sex, so it is best to get married young. As a 44 year old who has never married and remained chase, I feel as if he has totally knocked me off the map. I am doing God’s will just the same as he is, so why has my option been made to not exist. If it is God’s will for me to marry after my child bearing years, that is no sin on my part.
I just felt there was an underlying tone that everyone is an animal and that is not true. A lot of people have self control
Not to mention time changes everyone and in 15 years from now, he might still be happy but he will still potential have a different opinion. After all, how many people look back 20 years and still see things the same way?
Angie
I just felt there was an underlying tone that everyone is an animal and that is not true. A lot of people have self control
Not to mention time changes everyone and in 15 years from now, he might still be happy but he will still potential have a different opinion. After all, how many people look back 20 years and still see things the same way?
Angie
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Rence
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I agree with the above. I’ve always been chaste, though single, and if I do get married it will be after menopause, and that’s they way it was meant to be, otherwise I’d already be married. There is no one blueprint for life.
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Anglewannabe
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I am glad to see someone agrees, I was scared I would get blasted. I also found it a bit sick how he said he could use his sexuality optimally. If two people marry, it is a spiritual union and if they are past their child bearing years, it is not less optimal
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Joie_de_Vivre
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This strongly reminds me of arguments against celibacy.
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edwest2
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A lot of people have self control? Truth matters - opinions don’t.
sexualrecovery.com/blog/sex-addiction-epidemic.php
dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2278457/CDC-warns-Valentines-Day-eve-severe-epidemic-sexually-transmitted-diseases-sweeping-nation.html
foryourmarriage.org/the-pornography-epidemic-a-catholic-approach/
ncregister.com/daily-news/future-priests-battle-pornography-epidemic/
Peace,
Ed
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JimG
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I just think he is saying that if you are planning on marriage and kids, doing it when you’re young is great. That’s not such a revolutionary message. That has actually been the most common experience for centuries. Some of us didn’t get married until later, or not at all. That’s all right. But if you plan on marriage and plan on a family, the twenties are a good time to begin.
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underacloud
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You may well still get blasted. By me…
(well, I’m not trying to “blast”)His article is contrasting his experience with the “normal cultural path”. I think you’re jumping to unfounded conclusions to draw any meaning beyond that.
Again, you’re jumping to conclusions that I don’t think are warranted. He said “We are getting to enjoy our sexual primes together in a healthy, fulfilling, and constructive way”. He does not use the term “optimally”, though you may feel it is implied, but again the comparison is agains those who postpone marriage/family and instead engage in fornication and contraception.
It’s a shame you take offense at what he’s written, but I don’t see that your interpretation of what he says and/or means is warranted.
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Joie_de_Vivre
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Actually average age of marriage was highly variable depending on when, where and if it was arranged by parents (in which case it tended younger) or a love marriage (where it tended old to ensure they had the financial means to support themselves). Additionally birth order mattered especially for men (eldest son was bound to get most or all of the inheritance so they could be more sure about it).
In sometime times and places it was early twenties as average for women, in others it averaged almost thirty.
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Lorelei12
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Maybe I missed it, but I didn’t see anywhere in the article about how they actually did this financially. No mention of student loans- were their parents paying for college? How do you work enough, finish senior year, and have a baby all at once? They must have had an incredible support system, both financially and in terms of childcare.
I’m glad this worked out for them, but I think the subtitle that suggests “why you should consider being a social rebel” by starting a family before graduating college isn’t realistic for a lot of people. I don’t know many 21 year olds entering their senior year of college who are financially self-sufficient enough to start a family.
I’m glad this worked out for them, but I think the subtitle that suggests “why you should consider being a social rebel” by starting a family before graduating college isn’t realistic for a lot of people. I don’t know many 21 year olds entering their senior year of college who are financially self-sufficient enough to start a family.
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The_Bucket
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Indeed. This doesn’t exactly work for those without serious financial and social assistance and that’s hard to find in the modern day. In times past, even if folks didn’t have financial help, they generally had plenty of social and familial help.
I’m all for cutting down on extended adolescence. I’m all for treating people in their early 20s like adults. And hey, I got married at 22 and had kids at 23 and 24. But it was not easy and I had way more advantages than most people. I had a college education. I was fortunate and got a really good job when I turned 23. I also had parents and in-laws who had plenty of financial means to assist our family… and also lived within driveable distance to help out on the odd weekend or so.
Most people do not have that. So sure, Paul’s advice makes sense. If there are people who are burning up with desire, go get married already and stop thinking you need to have a house and two cars and all that great stuff before you can have a kid. And yes, the biological clock and calendar states that early-to-mid 20s are the optimal time to have children. And again, the whole “you’re not an adult until you’re 30” thing is absurd.
But let’s not start turning this into a thing where we suggest people go half-cocked, get married and have children when they are not spiritually or emotionally ready.
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JimG
Guest
My wife was 21 when we married, but I was 30, so I guess we straddled the gap. But this business of trying to make sure all the finances are in order before marriage is a foreign concept to me, and I imagine to many others of previous generations. If we all had to get our finances in order first, nobody would get married. We were both working, but not making much. Six months into the marriage I lost my job. I got another one, and then a month later she had a serious and sudden medical emergency and was in the hospital for 30 days. We had no medical insurance. But we survived together. The wedding vows promise richer and poorer, sickness and health. We can’t foresee the future, but we can live it together.
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The_Bucket
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I think there needs to be some element of security before folks are ready to get married. It takes more than the couple and God to get through, you know? It takes the help of a community or at least family. Or cash, and lots of it.
What’s happening now is that communities are fracturing, people are way more mobile and distant. So the family/community connection is not as strong. Sure, you can Skype and be there for someone in spirit, but it’s not the same as being there in person to help a pregnant mother or care for a mom/child after birth or even be around for babysitting so a couple can reconnect every one in awhile.
So the replacement for this fading familial and community connection is money.
Again, mileage varies from person to person, but this seems like the most logical “general rule” to me.
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Lorelei12
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I’m not sure how long ago you were married, but today it is very difficult to find a decent paying job without a college education, and rather difficult even when you have one. By decent paying job, I mean one that allows you to afford rent or a mortgage and food, as well as pay the electricity and other bills, I’m not talking about anything extra. Rent alone in my state is at least $1200-1400 per month, and that’s for a small place. And if someone without medical insurance has an emergency these days, they could very quickly become destitute. I don’t think people need to entirely have their finances “in order”, but they do need to make enough to live on.
My point was just that, if these people were still in college, they almost certainly had to be getting help from somewhere to be able to do it. If they were, that’s great. But the article presents young marriage while in college as some kind of ideal, when in reality it is probably not feasible for most people.
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JimG
Guest
I read the comments below the article and most of them were favorable. Some people had their own stories. It seems that many young people now delay marriage because they are still financially dependent on their parents. That may be the way things are, but it’s too bad if it delays independence.
I don’t really know of anyone who was financially stable on their wedding day. Newlyweds are supposed to be poor! They work through it together. When my wife and I married we moved into a cheap apartment that was several steps down in lifestyle from living at our parents home. But we didn’t stay poor forever. I will say, though, that we didn’t start out life with thousands of dollars of student loans as many do now, graduating to a future of indentured servitude to their loans.
I don’t really know of anyone who was financially stable on their wedding day. Newlyweds are supposed to be poor! They work through it together. When my wife and I married we moved into a cheap apartment that was several steps down in lifestyle from living at our parents home. But we didn’t stay poor forever. I will say, though, that we didn’t start out life with thousands of dollars of student loans as many do now, graduating to a future of indentured servitude to their loans.
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holyrood
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I was 20 when I married, husband was 21. I finished my senior year of college with a baby while he worked full time. Yes, we did it on our own, without financial help from either set of parents. I paid for college on my own. We went on to have 8 more children. We owned our first home at 27/28.
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Lorelei12
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Your husband was working full time. In this article, both husband and wife were in their senior year of college.
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