6 Month Old Only Sleeps 2 Hours at a Time

[PrayHarder]

My wife is coming to her wit’s end over our baby’s night time sleeping habits. He only sleeps for 1 to 2 hours at a time before waking up crying. Right now the solution is to nurse him back to sleep. But this is taking a toll on my wife since she never gets more than 2 hours of sleep at a time. We think he is sucking more out of comfort, not because he’s hungry since he usually falls asleep at the breast after a few minutes.

I think this is developing into a bad habit. I think our baby is learning that whenever he wakes up at night he gets to nurse himself back to sleep. And while this is an expedient way to quiet him down, it’s not getting any better. I want to try something else because our current routine isn’t leading anywhere.

I think we’ve gone way past the point where we can change the baby’s habit without a little bit of crying. While we don’t like the “let him cry it out” method, I think it is now unavoidable, at least a little. I think that if he wakes up, I should hold and rock him while he throws his little fit instead of my wife nursing him back to sleep. I’m on paternity leave right now so I know from putting him down for naps that he will eventually tire himself out. I think over time this will teach him that the middle of night is not automatically nursing time. I think this might get worse before it gets better. My wife can’t stand to hear him cry when she knows that nursing him will settle him down. But then she’s just a zombie during the day from the lack of sleep. I think my idea is a better long-term solution.

Any thoughts?

 

[Armor_of_Light]

I feel your pain! Our daughter is 4 months old now and doing the same thing. She slept pretty well up until a couple of weeks ago. Is this your first kid? I have 4… This is the age where the attachment thing really kicks in. He most likely just likes to be close and be held. Also, teeth might be getting ready to pop out.

Hang in there! It gets better

Everything up until old age is a ‘phase’

Also… Dont let him cry it out…They are too little to ‘get it’. Whatever it takes to keep him happy at this point is all that needs to be done.

 

[EasterJoy]

I was in a similar position with our twins, and I used to joke that if the Moonies would only kidnap me for a programming, I’d get more sleep. It does do stuff to your brain after awhile.

If you want to be able to offer nourishment yourself during the middle of the night, your wife could use a breast pump so you would have something to offer, but I would suggest that you take care of all “wakings” for a certain period every night, so that your wife will eventually get a period of uninterrupted sleep every night. A child is not going to be harmed because her mom isn’t there if she is left wailing in her father’s loving arms, instead. She’ll learn to adapt. Mom may object that she is “awake, anyway”, but she can adapt, too. Once she comes to accept that her little one is safe with The Dad, she’ll learn to give in to exhaustion and sleep right through it. (Your wife will be alerting you of your duty with an unceremonious elbow to the ribs before you know it. )

As for the habit, at least one of our kids used to wake me at least once every night until they were five or six years old (!) with the standard “I had a bad dream.” I could tell from his tone of voice that the dream couldn’t have been so bad as all that, but I’d get up and tuck the boy back in, anyway. I wouldn’t hold anyone else to that, but I’m in favor of doing what you want to have done, provided that your health will take it.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

My opinion is not the popular one, but I believe that babies should sleep in their own beds, if absolutely necessary in the parents’ room (especially when very young), but optimally, across the hall or next door. I would start letting your son fuss a little bit before going to him, and even then, pat him for a few minutes instead of picking him up. If you do only this, making sure he gets a good night-time feeding of course, he will fuss for a shorter time each time you go in. A couple of nights of disruption and then, bingo! he’s down for the night, and if he fusses during the night, he will put himself back to sleep without intervention.

Your wife’s breasts are becoming his settling object. Not a good habit.

oh, and p.s. - tell your wife that if she can’t bear to make him unhappy, when he gets to be a teen, she’s in for a very rough time! It might seem like a long time from now but it happens before you know it! Saying “No!” is part of being a Godly parent! And it starts pretty much from birth.

 

[RedSoxWife]

My wife is coming to her wit’s end over our baby’s night time sleeping habits. He only sleeps for 1 to 2 hours at a time before waking up crying. Right now the solution is to nurse him back to sleep. But this is taking a toll on my wife since she never gets more than 2 hours of sleep at a time. We think he is sucking more out of comfort, not because he’s hungry since he usually falls asleep at the breast after a few minutes.

I think this is developing into a bad habit. I think our baby is learning that whenever he wakes up at night he gets to nurse himself back to sleep. And while this is an expedient way to quiet him down, it’s not getting any better. I want to try something else because our current routine isn’t leading anywhere.

I think we’ve gone way past the point where we can change the baby’s habit without a little bit of crying. While we don’t like the “let him cry it out” method, I think it is now unavoidable, at least a little. I think that if he wakes up, I should hold and rock him while he throws his little fit instead of my wife nursing him back to sleep. I’m on paternity leave right now so I know from putting him down for naps that he will eventually tire himself out. I think over time this will teach him that the middle of night is not automatically nursing time. I think this might get worse before it gets better. My wife can’t stand to hear him cry when she knows that nursing him will settle him down. But then she’s just a zombie during the day from the lack of sleep. I think my idea is a better long-term solution.

Any thoughts?

My first daughter was pretty similar, and nursed every hour… for a very long time.

At seven months I was a zombie (she was still sleeping in a crib at this point) and when we were traveling she slept in the bed with me since she was too big for her portable basket. It was the first good night’s sleep I’d gotten since her birth.

Co-sleeping isn’t for everyone (and our second didn’t co-sleep long because she actually preferred her space and loved her crib!), but it was a life safer during the first eighteen months of my daughters life, when I wouldn’t have gotten more than an hour of sleep at a time, yet I didn’t want to give up on on-demand feeding.

And she’s a perfectly normal independent four year old now who sleeps in her own room and sings lullabies to her two year old sister.

Whatever you decide, it does get better!

 

[PrayHarder]

My opinion is not the popular one, but I believe that babies should sleep in their own beds, if absolutely necessary in the parents’ room (especially when very young), but optimally, across the hall or next door. I would start letting your son fuss a little bit before going to him, and even then, pat him for a few minutes instead of picking him up. If you do only this, making sure he gets a good night-time feeding of course, he will fuss for a shorter time each time you go in. A couple of nights of disruption and then, bingo! he’s down for the night, and if he fusses during the night, he will put himself back to sleep without intervention.

Your wife’s breasts are becoming his settling object. Not a good habit.

oh, and p.s. - tell your wife that if she can’t bear to make him unhappy, when he gets to be a teen, she’s in for a very rough time! It might seem like a long time from now but it happens before you know it! Saying “No!” is part of being a Godly parent! And it starts pretty much from birth.

I have the same opinion as you. He currently does sleep in his own crib and we do let him fuss a bit when he wakes up. It’s when the fussiness turns into full out crying that my wife’s reaction is to nurse him back down while I just want to hold and rock him with the idea that it will eventually turn into shorter periods of crying over time.

I also like the advice of one of the other posters where I should take over all baby activity for a certain period of time during the night. Now all I need is some way of locking the door to our room so that my wife won’t come in when the crying hits its peak.

 

[Joe_5859]

I’m not necessarily diametrically opposed to the “cry it out” philosophy, but I think 6 months might be a little young for that. I think (as suggested) either co-sleeping or else having you take over for a bit are probably the best things to try at this point.

I recall many a night doing laps around the kitchen table with my DD crying all the while. I would take her downstairs to the kitchen so as to place more distance between the crying baby and the sleep-deprived mommy.

This too shall pass.

 

[babs57]

Babies like to know that you’re there. What I used to do (and this is assuming that Baby wasn’t hungary or hurting) was to pat and stroke him/her and softly sing or coo. It would calm them right down. Now, for awhile you might need to stay there until she falls back asleep, but eventually, she’ll realize that she’s OK, and fall back to sleep on her own.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I have the same opinion as you. He currently does sleep in his own crib and we do let him fuss a bit when he wakes up. It’s when the fussiness turns into full out crying that my wife’s reaction is to nurse him back down while I just want to hold and rock him with the idea that it will eventually turn into shorter periods of crying over time.

I also like the advice of one of the other posters where I should take over all baby activity for a certain period of time during the night. Now all I need is some way of locking the door to our room so that my wife won’t come in when the crying hits its peak.

Heh, good luck with locking a mama away from her baby!

What you want is to start this routine at the baby’s normal bedtime. IOW, don’t let the baby nurse himself to sleep, just until sleepy and still awake. Make sure you put him in his crib while he is still slightly awake. Hopefully he will fuss a little (I say that not to be mean, but to get him to cry a little while everyone is still up and the soothing routine can get started). What you do then is wait a few minutes and then go in, pat him on the back, or tummy, whatever way he’s sleeping, and leave again. Wait another minute or two, and if he’s still fussing, go in again. Same thing, no conversation, just a little pat or two, maybe a little humming, and out you go. Draw out the time between when you go in. Warning: Some babies will work themselves into quite a state as they realize that you are not picking them up, so that is why it’s good to do this at bedtime instead of starting at 2 a.m. Eventually, your baby will fall asleep in between your visits. That is what you are aiming for, because you already know that YOU or your wife cannot be his soothing object. Some people give the baby a lovey, but don’t use a pacifier because then it will be another problem if the pacifier falls out before he’s sound asleep.

The people who believe in co-sleeping will disagree with cutting a child off from nursing at night, but by 6 mos. your son is probably eating some solids and should not need to eat during the night. Growth spurts may happen, but hopefully he can “tank up” during the day and still not wake up to eat. A heavy feeding at night will get him through that, and training him to not expect to eat if he wakes up will serve all of you better as he gets older.

 

[prayerandstudy]

I am well beyond nursing babies. I have granchildren of my own. But the title of this thread really caught my attention since I spent the first 9 months of my oldest child’s life as a walking zombee. She nursed every two hours around the clock for that long. What I discovered after 9 months was that I was doing two things wrong. I only nursed 10 minutes on each side at a feeding (which is what my nursing mothers’ group suggested) so my baby wasn’t getting enough to eat at one time to last her longer than 2 hours. Also I was eating the same amount as I had eaten before our child was born. I forgot that I needed more calories while nursing. I began to eat more and nurse for longer periods and fairly quickly I was getting 6 hours of sleep at a stretch. It felt heavenly!!

 

[PrayHarder]

Thanks for the suggestions each and every one of you. I’m all for trying these things out. The difficulty is that my wife dismisses a strategy when it doesn’t work in the first five minutes. While she understands in theory that these things take time to get right, it’s a different story at 2am in the morning and the baby is screaming.

I’m trying to explain that doing the same things every night and expecting a different result isn’t going to work, but she’s never in a good state to calmly discuss strategy. Today she basically got ready and left for work barely saying anything to me and basically gave me the cold shoulder. As a husband it kinda sucks getting the silent treatment when I haven’t even done anything wrong.

So in addition to your advice, I also ask for your prayers that patience and cooler heads will prevail.

 

[Ohana]

I am well beyond nursing babies. I have granchildren of my own. But the title of this thread really caught my attention since I spent the first 9 months of my oldest child’s life as a walking zombee. She nursed every two hours around the clock for that long. What I discovered after 9 months was that I was doing two things wrong. I only nursed 10 minutes on each side at a feeding (which is what my nursing mothers’ group suggested) so my baby wasn’t getting enough to eat at one time to last her longer than 2 hours. Also I was eating the same amount as I had eaten before our child was born. I forgot that I needed more calories while nursing. I began to eat more and nurse for longer periods and fairly quickly I was getting 6 hours of sleep at a stretch. It felt heavenly!!

What good advice! I am a grandma also. Did not have much of a problem with this with our kids. I do recall a coupld of things though. First of all, children do learn to self comfort and return to sleep. Some things with might help that are a “lovie” that they can hold. Our older son adopted a silky quilted robe of mine and “loved” it down to a pocket! No one mentioned the use of a “nookie” which might also be of help to the Dad filling in for Mom. If the little one truly isn’t hungry then maybe it is need for sucking and closeness that the baby craves. You might start by holding her and letting her suck, then tuck her in bed with a soft toy by her side or on her tummy. Those kinds of things help a baby “transition”. to self comforting a bit. Take your cues by how she responds. This period of attachment and initial steps at “independence” are really important issues being worked out by the baby at this point. Help her negotiate that successfully, and you will have a secure child who can explore outside the nest yet be confident of support and love when needed. God bless your little family. PS: Good for little girls and boys to experience a nurturing Dad too

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Thanks for the suggestions each and every one of you. I’m all for trying these things out. The difficulty is that my wife dismisses a strategy when it doesn’t work in the first five minutes. While she understands in theory that these things take time to get right, **it’s a different story at 2am in the morning and the baby is screaming.
**
I’m trying to explain that doing the same things every night and expecting a different result isn’t going to work, but she’s never in a good state to calmly discuss strategy. Today she basically got ready and left for work barely saying anything to me and basically gave me the cold shoulder. As a husband it kinda sucks getting the silent treatment when I haven’t even done anything wrong.

So in addition to your advice, I also ask for your prayers that patience and cooler heads will prevail.

That’s why I advised you to start this routine early in the evening, when you and your wife are still awake and have enough stamina to hold out until that little guy settles himself down. You could try buying her a spa evening away from Little Guy, or send her out shopping after his final nurse. “Leave this to me, honey, it’s Daddy and Son bonding time.”

 

[Regina_Love]

Many good points here;
Babies do have growth spurts, & need extra calories during the day, to be able to sleep through the night. I hope you have started solids. Your baby’s body is conditioned to become hungry every 2 hours. This routine can be changed. Your baby needs to learn 2 new life skills.

1) falling asleep with out the breast in his mouth. If baby falls asleep at breast simply burp,change diaper, talk, cuddle, move, kiss baby goodnight before placing in bed. Baby does not need to be fully awake, just aware they are being put down, and it’s good! ** Learning they can choose to relax, and allow them selves to drift off to sleep with out nursing is a skill**.

2) Sleeping through transitions. Every two hours natural sleep patterns move from deep sleep to rem sleep. This transition often brings people to a more wakeful state. They roll over & continue to sleep. When babies have very responsive parents, who respond immediately to every cry. The babies learn to come fully awake and cry every two hours Your baby is in big need of continueous sleep! Your whole family will be happier once you teach this. I found having the husband offer a bottle of water at night discourages night feeding. After a while they don’t think it’s worth waking up for, and stop on their own after about 4 nights. It may be helpful to have your wife sleep somewhere else for a few nights, so she isn’t tortured by fussing baby, and her milk letting down.

Remind your wife that baby crying is NOT like adult crying. To babies this is how they talk. They cry whenever they want something. It is not good or healthy for them to always get what they demand. It is OK for them to cry during training. I promise it will not hurt them. Obviously your baby knows you love & care for him/her every day!

God Bless you & your family!

 

[Johanna_C]

In my experience, night crying can be a sign of food allergies. Your baby might be allergic to something that your wife is eating. My babies were allergic to milk, wheat, soy, tomatoes, shellfish, grapes, and pineapple. Milk was the big one for us, and whenever I ate dairy products I could count on sleeping less for a couple nights. Your wife might try eliminating some common allergens from her diet for a week or two and seeing if it makes a difference.

I also recommend co-sleeping, it can be sooo much easier on Mom. Also try to keep the baby awake after 4pm until bedtime, and limit your baby to one nap during the day.

That solved my sleep problems.

 

[Mary_Gail_36]

My wife is coming to her wit’s end over our baby’s night time sleeping habits. He only sleeps for 1 to 2 hours at a time before waking up crying. Right now the solution is to nurse him back to sleep. But this is taking a toll on my wife since she never gets more than 2 hours of sleep at a time. We think he is sucking more out of comfort, not because he’s hungry since he usually falls asleep at the breast after a few minutes.

I think this is developing into a bad habit. I think our baby is learning that whenever he wakes up at night he gets to nurse himself back to sleep. And while this is an expedient way to quiet him down, it’s not getting any better. I want to try something else because our current routine isn’t leading anywhere.

I think we’ve gone way past the point where we can change the baby’s habit without a little bit of crying. While we don’t like the “let him cry it out” method, I think it is now unavoidable, at least a little. I think that if he wakes up, I should hold and rock him while he throws his little fit instead of my wife nursing him back to sleep. I’m on paternity leave right now so I know from putting him down for naps that he will eventually tire himself out. I think over time this will teach him that the middle of night is not automatically nursing time. I think this might get worse before it gets better. My wife can’t stand to hear him cry when she knows that nursing him will settle him down. But then she’s just a zombie during the day from the lack of sleep. I think my idea is a better long-term solution.

Any thoughts?

I think you might need to transition slowly. If baby is getting 3 feedings a night, going to zero will be hard. His tummy is used to getting fed at a certain time, your wife is used to making milk at a certain time. Giving up all feeds might result in painful engorgement for your wife.

Your idea of going to comfort baby while DW sleeps is a good one. Babies need to be able to have both parents get them to sleep. If you go to the Dr. Sears website, he has lots of ideas for dads getting little people to sleep.

Try to get him to increase times between feedings. Waking every four hours at night is not as energy draining as every two.

 

[MCGar]

We coslept with my son until her was 14 months. He nursed alot more than average I think, but at night we were able to sleep longer and more comfortably. At 14 months it took my husband rocking him while he screamed for 2 hours and then I went in, rocked and I think I nursed a little and then put him in his crib asleep. Soon after that, all I had to do was rock him and since I had gotten him used to the sippy cup during the day he drank from his sippy cup. After a couple of months I didn’t even need to rock him to sleep. We’d just rock and read books as a night time routine and I’d put him down and tell him “Nite, Nite,” and turn off the light and walk out. He’d be passed out soon afterwards.
We miss him in our bed and try once in a while to have him sleep with us but he tosses and turns and is used to his own space now.

I know you guys would prefer to have your baby wake only once in a while during the night and be in his own crib, but maybe it would make it easier for everyone for mommy and baby to cosleep and wait for the crib until later on down the road?

btw, my around 6-8 months my son would wake at six am and nurse and then sleep until 10am. It was the BEST extra rest for the both of us.

 

[PrayHarder]

Wow. Good to hear that I’m not the only one who has ever suffered from a baby that won’t sleep. Thanks again for all the suggestions. Many of the suggestions I’ve read from various “baby books.” It’s just been difficult to put the theory into practice.

We aren’t going cold turkey on the feedings. We do try to feed him at night, but many times he’s just not very hungry. It’s more of a comfort suck. Perhaps he just misses him mommy now that she’s gone back to work.

I’ve made progress in rocking my baby to sleep. However, the tricky part is now the transition from my arms to the bed (either co-sleeping or his crib). Sometimes he wakes up a little and then goes back to sleep immediately (woot!). Other times he freaks out and I have to start the rocking routine all over again. It might be a good three or four attempts before he finally settles down. I have the patience for it during the day, but it’s a lot harder at night.

Anyway, thanks for the advice and double thanks for the prayers!

 

[Joe_5859]

Other times he freaks out and I have to start the rocking routine all over again. It might be a good three or four attempts before he finally settles down. I have the patience for it during the day, but it’s a lot harder at night.

Boy have I been there! I don’t deal well with sleep-deprivation either. It’s all part of the sacrifices we make as parents.

 

[aloe]

I feel your pain! Our daughter is 4 months old now and doing the same thing. She slept pretty well up until a couple of weeks ago. Is this your first kid? I have 4… This is the age where the attachment thing really kicks in. He most likely just likes to be close and be held. Also, teeth might be getting ready to pop out.

Hang in there! It gets better

Everything up until old age is a ‘phase’

Also… Dont let him cry it out…They are too little to ‘get it’. Whatever it takes to keep him happy at this point is all that needs to be done.

kellymom.com/store/handouts/newborn/sleep.pdf

kellymom.com/parenting/nighttime/4mo-sleep/
kellymom.com/parenting/nighttime/sleepstudies/