H
HagiaSophia
Guest
with the hurricane, the election, the Russian tragedy - time for a smile - does anyone here have a funny story about something that really happened when they were at church services that they’d care to share?
- Status
J
Joanna
Guest
You might need to be Polish to appreciate this blopper:
Our new young priest announced, “The women of the parish will be selling their pasties after mass.” His pronunciation ( long a ) left something to be desired and imagined. There followed peals of laughter.
arts.state.wi.us/static/folkdir/hodgsonrecipe.htm.
Our new young priest announced, “The women of the parish will be selling their pasties after mass.” His pronunciation ( long a ) left something to be desired and imagined. There followed peals of laughter.
arts.state.wi.us/static/folkdir/hodgsonrecipe.htm.
A
anthony81OR
Guest
Yes, I love a funny story and I got one. It was a Young Adult Mass and BBQ. So, towards the end of the mass, it was probably at the ending of the closing prayer, the church fire alarm went off. The Archbishop was the celebrant. The deacon was about to say, “The mass is over, etc.” The Archbishop told the deacon, just skip it and, he did a quick blessing. I just love a funny mass. Got anymore so I can laugh?
Anthony
J
Joe_Kelley
Guest
Years back one priest was reading talk show subjects as examples for his homily on mankind’s pressing interests. He hadn’t checked ahead of time and read “Food as a substitute for sex.” He quickly recovered and commented, "Well it works for me."
One time we had a duck and drake try to set up housekeeping in the Baptismal Pool. We finally exiled them to the rectory garden. They hatched their brood on Holy Saturday. At the Easter mass the priest, the same one as above, said he had a special announcement, "Monsignor is a grandfather." People laughed, stopped, got embarrassed, and then figured it out and laughed again.
One time we had a duck and drake try to set up housekeeping in the Baptismal Pool. We finally exiled them to the rectory garden. They hatched their brood on Holy Saturday. At the Easter mass the priest, the same one as above, said he had a special announcement, "Monsignor is a grandfather." People laughed, stopped, got embarrassed, and then figured it out and laughed again.
H
HagiaSophia
Guest
Thanks for both the storyYou might need to be Polish to appreciate this blopper:
Our new young priest announced, “The women of the parish will be selling their pasties after mass.” His pronunciation ( long a ) left something to be desired and imagined. There followed peals of laughter.
arts.state.wi.us/static/folkdir/hodgsonrecipe.htm.
and the recipe - my mother used to make this often but she had a bit o’carrot with it.
H
HagiaSophia
Guest
Thanks for the funny story
and yes I have one but from years ago:In the post council days and prior to where we are now liturgically, the priest would hand the Eucharist to the communicant with the words “Corpus Christi” - the communicant would respond Amen.
A lady a bit ahead of me in the line one Sunday heard the Corpus Christi and responded, Texas. The priest looked so startled and then I began to choke and tear up from laughter…never have fogotten it.
B
Brain
Guest
at our old parish, out (irish) preist was reading the gospel of the three tenants. the first invested his 10 talents, the second his 5, and the turd buried his. then he gave a homily about not being the turd tenants.
same preist would also start the consecration overtop of the chior if they sang the offering song too long
also my current pastor constantly is moving, he would not be able to celebrate a mass if his feet were stuck to the ground, heck flypaper under the ambo could keep his homilies shorter (actually he is a superb homilist, always the right lenth).
same preist would also start the consecration overtop of the chior if they sang the offering song too long
also my current pastor constantly is moving, he would not be able to celebrate a mass if his feet were stuck to the ground, heck flypaper under the ambo could keep his homilies shorter (actually he is a superb homilist, always the right lenth).
D
deogratias
Guest
When my children were toddlers, I always gave them rosaries to keep their fingers busy during Mass.
My young son, about age 3 at the time, suddenly stood up on the pew, shouted loudly, “look out everyone here goes Jesus for a ride” and spun the rosary around his head like a lasso. My husband stopped him just before he let it fly.
Another rosary story, is - I saw my little girl moving her lips and her fingers from one bead to the other. I beamed thinking she was learning the rosary by osmosis and leaned a little closer only to here her saying, “this little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home, etc.” with the beads - sigh
My young son, about age 3 at the time, suddenly stood up on the pew, shouted loudly, “look out everyone here goes Jesus for a ride” and spun the rosary around his head like a lasso. My husband stopped him just before he let it fly.
Another rosary story, is - I saw my little girl moving her lips and her fingers from one bead to the other. I beamed thinking she was learning the rosary by osmosis and leaned a little closer only to here her saying, “this little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home, etc.” with the beads - sigh
V
Voice_Of_Reason
Guest
Oh man, that’s sad…but funny at the same time.Thanks for the funny story
In the post council days and prior to where we are now liturgically, the priest would hand the Eucharist to the communicant with the words “Corpus Christi” - the communicant would respond Amen.
A lady a bit ahead of me in the line one Sunday heard the Corpus Christi and responded, Texas. The priest looked so startled and then I began to choke and tear up from laughter…never have fogotten it.
J
Joanna
Guest
Thanks for the laughs. This one really cracked me up. I hope I can get through my next Rosary without thinking, “this little piggy”.
D
deogratias
Guest
Stories about kids are the best. A friend of mine took her 6 year old son and his friend to Mass.
My friend called the friend’s mother the next day to see how it went. They both had a good laugh because the little boy said, “I’m never going back to that Church, they swear there”. When questioned about it he said - well they had these beads and they said, “Hell, Mary”.
This didn’t happen in Church but once I was at a local nursery buying some flowers for my garden. A little toddler walked over to the bird bath, dipped his fingers in the water and blessed himself.
My friend called the friend’s mother the next day to see how it went. They both had a good laugh because the little boy said, “I’m never going back to that Church, they swear there”. When questioned about it he said - well they had these beads and they said, “Hell, Mary”.
This didn’t happen in Church but once I was at a local nursery buying some flowers for my garden. A little toddler walked over to the bird bath, dipped his fingers in the water and blessed himself.
F
Fidelis
Guest
We had a guest priest one Sunday who was engrossed in delivering his homily. The previous night, there had been an Our Lady of Guadalupe celebration in the Church and some balloons had escaped to the ceiling. As he went on with his homily, one of the balloons began sinking down, right toward Father! Everyone in the Church could see it but him. As the balloon got lower, the snickers increased with people barely able to suppress their laughter. The balloon ended up coming down right on his head, and everyone, including him, burst into laughter. He simply caught the balloon, called it a sign from heaven and held onto it for the rest of the homily.
D
DJJG
Guest
Last year, at morning mass (durring the week), two little kids, about 3 years old, escaped from their day care in the church basement, and proceeded to make it up stairs to run naked 
through the sanctuary and naive, for a few minutes before they were finaly caught and returned to their charges.
through the sanctuary and naive, for a few minutes before they were finaly caught and returned to their charges.
D
deogratias
Guest
why were they naked?
B
BayCityRickL
Guest
…Probably for the usual reason.
B
BayCityRickL
Guest
Well I think the strangest thing is the microphone that this one priest insisted on wearing. It was the headset kind, where the head piece goes ear to ear over the top of the head, and then the microphone curves around to the front of his face near his mouth.
I don’t know what kick he gets out of it, because the regular hand around the neck microphones seem to work just fine.
Two people I used to work with got married in a Catholic Church near Detroit and the credence table with the offertory gifts was set up in the center aisle. As they were rounding the table, the groom hooked his foot on the table, knocking it over and sending everything flying. His involuntary remark, echoing off every wall of the church was " jjjjjjjeeeeeeeeeezzzzzusssssss kah…"
More recently, in these days where every baptism and confirmation is celebrated during Mass, the baptism ceremony itself has become embellished with the “new garment” craze. So, first the baby is stripped ( ! ) for the baptism, Then, there’s the obligatory yelling when the cold water hits the kid. Then, one young mother set the record when she went into the sacristy in the middle of the ceremony to dress the baby, and did not emerge for a good eight minutes while the priest said everything he know about Baptism at least twice.
I don’t know what kick he gets out of it, because the regular hand around the neck microphones seem to work just fine.
Two people I used to work with got married in a Catholic Church near Detroit and the credence table with the offertory gifts was set up in the center aisle. As they were rounding the table, the groom hooked his foot on the table, knocking it over and sending everything flying. His involuntary remark, echoing off every wall of the church was " jjjjjjjeeeeeeeeeezzzzzusssssss kah…"
More recently, in these days where every baptism and confirmation is celebrated during Mass, the baptism ceremony itself has become embellished with the “new garment” craze. So, first the baby is stripped ( ! ) for the baptism, Then, there’s the obligatory yelling when the cold water hits the kid. Then, one young mother set the record when she went into the sacristy in the middle of the ceremony to dress the baby, and did not emerge for a good eight minutes while the priest said everything he know about Baptism at least twice.
B
BayCityRickL
Guest
At Immaculate Conception Church in Elmhurst, IL, the three priests (they used to have four) were concelebrating mass for Easter.
To make it a solemn ceremony, they stoked up the incense burner like I have never seen before or since. They burned so much incense, the altar almost disappeared, until the choir director plugged in a fan to disperse the smoke. It was one of those what-do-you-do-now situations.
To make it a solemn ceremony, they stoked up the incense burner like I have never seen before or since. They burned so much incense, the altar almost disappeared, until the choir director plugged in a fan to disperse the smoke. It was one of those what-do-you-do-now situations.
D
DaveBj
Guest
In Britain that word is used for closed meat-and-veg-filled pies, only it’s pronounced to rhyme with “nasties.” They’re anything but–nasty, that is. Yum.You might need to be Polish to appreciate this blopper:
Our new young priest announced, “The women of the parish will be selling their pasties after mass.” His pronunciation ( long a ) left something to be desired and imagined. There followed peals of laughter.
DaveBj
D
DJJG
Guest
I haven’t the foggest idea, I have nothing to do with the day care. :whacky:
Though most kids that age don’t like wearing clothes anyway.
H
HagiaSophia
Guest
i’ve met a few that the first thing they do when escaping be it from the playpen, the car seat, strip - don’t know why - they just do it.
- Status