A Gripe I Have

[byzmelkite]

Petertherock:

I have actually seen this DURING MASS! I feel like turning to these people and saying “SHUT UP!” But I usually just glare at them. It’s like Mass starting was an inconvienience to their social hour.

I’ve seen teenage girls talking on their cell phones during Mass and their parents sitting right next to them. Also, I’ve seen girls in mini skirts hanging out near the confessional, giggling and talking while people are trying to go to confession. (sigh)

 

[Michael_Welter]

Petertherock:

I have actually seen this DURING MASS! I feel like turning to these people and saying “SHUT UP!” But I usually just glare at them. It’s like Mass starting was an inconvienience to their social hour.

If someone is talking near me during Mass (and I have seen this happen too often) I will ask them to be silent. I’m probably not too popular for this, but it has to be done.

 

[gez722]

I can’t tell you how many times my family and I get interrupted while we are trying to say our prayers after Mass. It’s extremely frustrating. Many Catholics have no sense of reverence for the Blessed Sacrament. I can’t totally blame them, as we don’t hear preached in homilies that much.

Last Sunday was especially frustrating. In honor of the 4th of July we sang America the Beautiful as our closing hymn. After that the organist proceeded to turn up the volumn and launch into an extended patriotic melody (Stars and Stripes Forever, You’re a Grand Old Flag, etc.). I felt like I was at a carnival. Children were dancing, people were talking loudly… it was disgusting. I was unable to finish my prayers because I couldn’t hear myself think. I apologized to Jesus before we left.

God Bless,
Gary

 

[msproule]

This is one of my gripes, as well. I have even seen people talking and laughing in a large group while standing about ten feet in front of the tabernacle! Nearby, some of us are attempting to pray. It is sickening.

 

[Lux_et_veritas]

For the life of me, I don’t understand why priests do not foster an environment of silence. How?

1. Asking for silence in the church out of respect for the Blessed Sacrament and for those who are praying in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament.
2. Posting signs on all doors leading in - at eye level asking for the same.
3. In the parish bulletin - on the front page.
4. Do all of the above at least quarterly.

Lets face it, why should parishioners be irritated or be caught in a position to have to constantly correct others when no one seems to mention this little issue from the pastoral end?

 

[AuntMartha]

At one church I’ve been going to for daily Mass, this happens after the Mass. It’s very annoying. The doors are really only about 10-20 feet away, and they could go out into the vestibule. But no. They must yak right there in the pews. I am not the only one who stays after to pray a bit more. There were several people all around me kneeling in prayer. Don’t these talkers see?

 

[Pug]

Deacon Tony560:

I think we need to start with the song leaders. No warming up and practicing before Mass. If we want others to be quiet, the various ministers should be a good example.

I dont’ mind someone checking out the guitar to be sure it is ready, basic stuff like that. I find it annoying when for 10 minutes before mass the musician tries to get the congregation to learn new songs and sing along with him.

I don’t mind the talkers after mass much…they clear out fast. If you stay 5 minutes after mass there is no one there. Then pray away.

 

[Sanctus]

Pug:

I don’t mind the talkers after mass much…they clear out fast. If you stay 5 minutes after mass there is no one there. Then pray away.

Not where I sometimes go to Mass…they’ll be there talking for 20 or 30 minutes after Mass is over (yes, you would think that’s what we built the parish hall for) people will come in through the side doors of the church and stroll right up in the sanctuary and chat chat chat…seems that the most popular thing to do is to chat around the altar…or shout across the sanctuary…uggg.

 

[Pug]

Sanctus:

people will come in through the side doors of the church and stroll right up in the sanctuary and chat chat chat

Ouch. I see I am lucky! Do you suppose the style of building matters? Mine looks like a basilica, but it isn’t so large as that. The largest open space is up behind the altar or in front of the tabernacle itself, so they aren’t going to chat there, and the pews are rock hard and old.

 

[gardenswithkids]

Lorrie:

Why do people feel the need to “visit” and talk in Church before Mass???

Since no one has yet answered the original question, I’ll try.
Some people feel the need to visit and talk before Mass because they like their fellow parishioneers and believe how we treat others reflects the love of God. They mean no disrespect to Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. They mean no disrespect to those of you who are praying. They probably assume many of you have plenty of time spent in quiet, solitary prayer at home.

They may be persons who spend much time in solitary prayer and enjoy Mass as a community prayer. They may assume greeting others helps others feel welcome at Mass. This may not be the motives behind all the talking you hear, but please give others the benefit of the doubt.

 

[puzzleannie]

Lorrie:

Why do people feel the need to “visit” and talk in Church before Mass???

because if they have attended Mass for the last 30 years in the majority of American parishes they have been instructed that we come together to form “community” and that we should be welcoming and friendly, and use the time before and after Mass to socialize. Catholics are actually quite obedient, too bad they obey poor instruction and mistaken directives, which is why there is such a variance in behavior about hand-holding, genuflecting, processing, singing etc. Most Catholics are simply doing what they have been told to do. When they get a new priest or new parish, and receive a contradictory order (most often without any reason or catechesis), they simply shrug their shoulders and try to comply. leadership comes from above, if the priest does not stress silence, there will not be silence.

 

[byzmelkite]

gardenswithkids:

Since no one has yet answered the original question, I’ll try.
Some people feel the need to visit and talk before Mass because they like their fellow parishioneers and believe how we treat others reflects the love of God. They mean no disrespect to Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. They mean no disrespect to those of you who are praying. They probably assume many of you have plenty of time spent in quiet, solitary prayer at home.

They may be persons who spend much time in solitary prayer and enjoy Mass as a community prayer. They may assume greeting others helps others feel welcome at Mass. This may not be the motives behind all the talking you hear, but please give others the benefit of the doubt.

Yeah right. Their behavior at Mass is a reflection of their attitude toward Our Lord. It doesn’t take much common sense to know how one should behave in a Church. I’m not buying your argument. I know that sounds uncharitable, but facts are facts.

 

[Kay_Cee]

I hate it when I come into church, kneel down, just barely begin to pray and collect myself and somebody booms out, “Okay, we’re going to practice the Responsorial Psalm!”

Why, I ask, do we even need to practice this? It’s not that hard–only one line and you hear it right before you sing it.

There are times I do need to talk before Mass because I’m helping set things up or helping get the altar servers robed. But I do try to keep the decibel level down.

 

[Pug]

byzmelkite:

Yeah right. Their behavior at Mass is a reflection of their attitude toward Our Lord. It doesn’t take much common sense to know how one should behave in a Church. I’m not buying your argument. I know that sounds uncharitable, but facts are facts.

I think it does (take some thought and common sense). If everyone chats and talks, then all the kids will learn to do that and think they are doing the right thing by doing it. I grew up Protestant, and believe me, you are supposed to be friendly with all those people and it is jim dandy to do it in the sanctuary in many congregations. In fact, the sanctuary doubled as a dinner hall and general meeting room for many years.

I think the configuration of the space itself matters (just walk into an old European cathedral). Many modern Church buildings do not invite silence. And many modern priests chat happily in the center aisle of the church. The whole idea seems to be to station the priests and deacons at the exits of the building and to talk to everyone as they leave. This encourages talking, not discourages it. The only exception is of course during Holy Week on Thurs. However, as I said, they are all out the door in five minutes in my church.

 

[gez722]

gardenswithkids:

Since no one has yet answered the original question, I’ll try.
Some people feel the need to visit and talk before Mass because they like their fellow parishioneers and believe how we treat others reflects the love of God. They mean no disrespect to Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. They mean no disrespect to those of you who are praying. They probably assume many of you have plenty of time spent in quiet, solitary prayer at home.

They may be persons who spend much time in solitary prayer and enjoy Mass as a community prayer. They may assume greeting others helps others feel welcome at Mass. This may not be the motives behind all the talking you hear, but please give others the benefit of the doubt.

I’m sorry, but if the Pope was standing up on the altar waiting to answer questions, people wouldn’t ignore him and start blabbing to their friends. In the tabernacle, we have someone much greater than the Pope… we have Jesus Christ physically present. The same Jesus that we read about in the gospels is waiting for us to talk to Him. We have plenty of time to talk to our friends before and after Mass, but we should do it outside of the Church. People just don’t believe that Jesus is really there. They think that it’s just some kind of spiritual presence.

As I mentioned earlier, I’m not entirely blaming the people. They need to hear this from the pulpit.

God Bless,
Gary

 

[Lorrie]

Wow, I just got home from work and saw how many replies my thread received. I’m so happy to know I’m not the only one who feels the way I do.

Like another person said here, I actually left my previous church over this (the talking and lack of reverency). Now I go to another church, when you walk in its so quiet you could probably hear a pin drop. I thank God everytime I’m there because of the silence.

All we can do is pray for people who don’t know any better and pray extra hard for those who do.

Thanks for all the replies you guys.

 

[gardenswithkids]

gez722:

People just don’t believe that Jesus is really there.

While sadly some Catholics do not believe in the Real Presence, it’s a huge jump to say that everyone talking in Church does so because they are heretics. In my experience, choir members seem to be the most vocal (Maybe that’s why some choirs sing before Mass–to keep them from talking. )

A dear friend (who has since left my parish), used to turn around and try to talk with me when I was kneeling in prayer right behind her. Yes it was annoying, but she has a heart of gold and a great devotion to the Blessed Mother. I also remember when I saw someone I knew had been away from the Church. I suppose I could have just ignored her, but it seemed fitting to rejoice at her return, as I am sure Jesus did.

I try to be quiet and respectful, and I am sorry if I fail to meet your standards at times. Conversing outside the building sounds nice in theory, weather permiting. But once outside the doors, some of us must make sure our children are not hit by cars in the street or parking lot. (And yes, my children probably annoyed you also, as they frequently disturb my prayers.) If you all want to pray for me, I welcome the prayers. I’m probably not the person you had in mind when you posted. I am usually right along with you, quietly trying to pray while others disturb me.

All our prayers are worth so much more to the Lord if we patienty endure these minor annoyances that He allows from our fellow Catholics, and if we attempt to assume the best from those who disturb us.

 

[Petertherock]

I have mixed emotions about this issue. Although I feel people should be respectful to people who are praying I also feel to be social to the parishoners (who are just as much the real presence of Christ as the bread in the tabernacle is) is important. I don’t think people should be socializing during Mass of course but before and after Mass is a sticky subject. I think if it’s a Church like my church that has a Narthax that would be appropriate for conversating before and after Mass that’s where people should go. But I have been to churches that don’t have any area outside the Church and in that cases I think talking is appropriate but it should be kept to a minimum as not to interfere with people who are praying.

 

[Lux_et_veritas]

Petertherock:

I have mixed emotions about this issue. Although I feel people should be respectful to people who are praying I also feel to be social to the parishoners (who are just as much the real presence of Christ as the bread in the tabernacle is) is important. I don’t think people should be socializing during Mass of course but before and after Mass is a sticky subject. I think if it’s a Church like my church that has a Narthax that would be appropriate for conversating before and after Mass that’s where people should go. But I have been to churches that don’t have any area outside the Church and in that cases I think talking is appropriate but it should be kept to a minimum as not to interfere with people who are praying.

:bigyikes: What? Let’s not equate people with the Real Presence.

In the Church is a place where we give ourselves entirely to God, forgetting about everyone and everything else for a time. For many of us, especially in traditional oriented parishes, this begins from the moment we walk through the doors into the presence of the Blessed Sacrament, until we walk out those doors. Not only is talking in the Church disprespectful of those who want to worship, it is disrespectful to God.

The purpose of being IN church is to worship God, not to “worship” people in giving our time to them instead of giving it to God. This is people-centered. God is deserving of our undivided attention for this period (God-centered). When we give ourselves entirely to God while in the Church, christian values and personal interactions flourish outside of it. When we deprive God of the time that belongs to Him, we deprive the Mystical Body of our full participation and ultimately all of those people to whom we believe we are being charitable or personable with.

As for no provision for people to meet before and after - that’s what phones are for, and that is why we set up engagements outside of the Mass and the time before and after. That is a cheap way to spend time with people - on the fly while at church. Rather, go out for a meal and spend time with them, or invite them over to your house. That is genuine. The Mass is not a social, nor is it entertainment. It is time to worship God. He is deserving of time before and after the great Sacrifice.

If you can ever find a church that is full of people and so quiet you could hear a pin drop 10 minutes before the Mass and forever after the Mass, you would appreciate the solitude, and the Lord appreciates you taking that time with Him.

 

[Lux_et_veritas]

Petertherock:

I have mixed emotions about this issue. Although I feel people should be respectful to people who are praying I also feel to be social to the parishoners (who are just as much the real presence of Christ as the bread in the tabernacle is) is important. I don’t think people should be socializing during Mass of course but before and after Mass is a sticky subject. I think if it’s a Church like my church that has a Narthax that would be appropriate for conversating before and after Mass that’s where people should go. But I have been to churches that don’t have any area outside the Church and in that cases I think talking is appropriate but it should be kept to a minimum as not to interfere with people who are praying.

:bigyikes: What? Let’s not equate people with the Real Presence.

In the Church is a place where we give ourselves entirely to God, forgetting about everyone and everything else for a time. For many of us, especially in traditional oriented parishes, this begins from the moment we walk through the doors into the presence of the Blessed Sacrament, until we walk out those doors. Not only is talking in the Church disprespectful of those who want to worship, it is disrespectful to God.

The purpose of being IN church is to worship God, not to “worship” people in giving our time to them instead of giving it to God. This is people-centered. God is deserving of our undivided attention for this period (God-centered). When we give ourselves entirely to God while in the Church, christian values and personal interactions flourish outside of it. When we deprive God of the time that belongs to Him, we deprive the Mystical Body of our full participation and ultimately all of those people to whom we believe we are being charitable or personable with.

As for no provision for people to meet before and after - that’s what phones are for, and that is why we set up engagements outside of the Mass and the time before and after. That is a cheap way to spend time with people - on the fly while at church. Rather, go out for a meal and spend time with them, or invite them over to your house. That is genuine. The Mass is not a social, nor is it entertainment. It is time to worship God. He is deserving of time before and after the great Sacrifice.

If you can ever find a church that is full of people and so quiet you could hear a pin drop 10 minutes before the Mass and forever after the Mass, you would appreciate the solitude, and the Lord appreciates you taking that time with Him. I get this since switching parishes and it is priceless.