G
gurneyhalleck1
Guest
Mormon missionary: “Excuse me sir, would consider reading a bit of the Book of Mormon, another testatment of Jesus Christ, and then pray with us afterward? I think you’ll see that a great peace will enter your heart and you’ll feel God’s word here is truth itself.”
Spock: “It is illogical to assume that Christ witnessed in the New World or that there was a lost tribe that ever sailed to Central or South America. Maritime skills and nautical navigation were far too rudimentary and the Book of Mormon is littered with anachronisms. Furthermore why would any man want a plural marriage when everyone knows women are highly illogical? Dwelling in a domicile with one woman is emotionally-painful enough without the need for a second.”
Worf: “Mormons are without honor! Kapla!”
Data: “I just wish I had emotions to be able to don the white shirt and black bicycle helmet and make a fool of myself and have doors slammed in my face fifty times a day. What is it like…this feeling of rejection and people laughing? Is it, how do you say, frustrating, to hear NO over and over?”
McCoy: “Now wait just a damn minute Jim! You are NOT beaming down to that Mormon planet Kolob! We don’t even know what’s down there! For all you know it has false prophets, pre-columbian Bible-wielding natives, sealing ceremonies, spirit babies and weirdos!”
Picard: “I think it was the Merchant of Venice, Shylock, that once said, 'if we Latter Day Saints are pricked, do we not bleed? If you slam the door in our face and say–hit the bricks! do we not cry? If the Kraft Macaroni that we have stored up for the apocolypse turns rotten, do we not get frustrated!? To die! To sleep no more! To sleep perchance to…”
Worf: “Shakespeare had no honor!”
Guinan the Bartender: “I like these Mormons. I think they’re good people. Where I come from they’d be welcomed guests. They’d help fight the Borg after they defend Kolob”
Captain Kirk (Shatner Kirk): "You…Mormons…haven’t even the slightest…idea…what Christ is? You…grope…in the dark, you…grasp at straws…Doctrines and Covenants isn’t even legitimate…you’re lost…and for what?
Ferengi: “Is selling the Book of Mormon profitable? What is your rate of return on your initial investment? How much start-up capital do you missionaries need? Perhaps we can do business, Mormon hyuuu-mahhhn!”
Missionaries: “Perhaps we came to the wrong house…God bless!”
Spock: “It is illogical to assume that Christ witnessed in the New World or that there was a lost tribe that ever sailed to Central or South America. Maritime skills and nautical navigation were far too rudimentary and the Book of Mormon is littered with anachronisms. Furthermore why would any man want a plural marriage when everyone knows women are highly illogical? Dwelling in a domicile with one woman is emotionally-painful enough without the need for a second.”
Worf: “Mormons are without honor! Kapla!”
Data: “I just wish I had emotions to be able to don the white shirt and black bicycle helmet and make a fool of myself and have doors slammed in my face fifty times a day. What is it like…this feeling of rejection and people laughing? Is it, how do you say, frustrating, to hear NO over and over?”
McCoy: “Now wait just a damn minute Jim! You are NOT beaming down to that Mormon planet Kolob! We don’t even know what’s down there! For all you know it has false prophets, pre-columbian Bible-wielding natives, sealing ceremonies, spirit babies and weirdos!”
Picard: “I think it was the Merchant of Venice, Shylock, that once said, 'if we Latter Day Saints are pricked, do we not bleed? If you slam the door in our face and say–hit the bricks! do we not cry? If the Kraft Macaroni that we have stored up for the apocolypse turns rotten, do we not get frustrated!? To die! To sleep no more! To sleep perchance to…”
Worf: “Shakespeare had no honor!”
Guinan the Bartender: “I like these Mormons. I think they’re good people. Where I come from they’d be welcomed guests. They’d help fight the Borg after they defend Kolob”
Captain Kirk (Shatner Kirk): "You…Mormons…haven’t even the slightest…idea…what Christ is? You…grope…in the dark, you…grasp at straws…Doctrines and Covenants isn’t even legitimate…you’re lost…and for what?
Ferengi: “Is selling the Book of Mormon profitable? What is your rate of return on your initial investment? How much start-up capital do you missionaries need? Perhaps we can do business, Mormon hyuuu-mahhhn!”
Missionaries: “Perhaps we came to the wrong house…God bless!”
