C
ComputerGeek25
Guest
Here’s the problem with your story. She kept getting pregnant. Not to sound terse, but that is the root cause here. Maybe if people showed a little better self control, this whole debate would be rendered moot for obvious reasons.I’ve also heard the spin that illegal abortionists like Gosnell are inevitable when there are restrictions on abortion. In one story I recently read (it’s on NPR, from a woman who is now a case worker and had a Gosnell abortion in 2001), she lamented that a poor woman who wants an abortion needs time to find $300 to procure one, but the longer she waits the more expensive it gets. She gave a narrative of a young mother, who moved out of her cocaine-addicted mother’s house, had been homeless, and was relying on TANF, WIC, and other help to pay the rent, buy food for herself and her first child, and finish her degree. When she became pregnant again she sought an abortion to keep her life on-track, fearing that she’d not be able to get back into school again for years.
While my heart goes out to the expectant mother, I wish she would have turned to an agency besides the government and Gosnell. Catholic Charities, despite having a presence in North Philly, was never considered. Is that a social network thing (the woman was raised in the black evangelical churches), or a lack of available resources? I can picture many in her network telling her “you can’t kill your baby!” but few, if any, offering to take her in.
It’s hard for me to realize that people operate that way, showing a problem but not offering to help. Can it really be there’s no help available?
I come from a family where forgiveness is the rule and we take care of our own, as well as others who come for help. It was a rule, for example, in my grandfather’s house that anyone who came over three times was family - if you were over at suppertime, a place would be set for you. If you needed a place to sleep, a bed would be made for you. That’s on top of raising 5 kids, there was always an attitude of giving a hand. That continued with my father and his siblings - my Dad was told by kids in the youth group (who met once a week in his living room) that one of the high school boys was sleeping under the bleachers at night, thrown out by his stepfather. Dad went to find him, took him in, fed him, gave him a room. That boy, Tony, stayed with my dad for almost two years to finish high school. He visited often, and when he was out of work during a downturn Dad again offered him a bed for the few months he needed it. Tony’s now married and probably calls my Dad every day just to talk - he’s like another son to him. I realize not everyone can be that generous, but it’s an ideal that has stayed with me when witnessing to someone who needs help.
The heartbreak here - and the reality - is that, even if we were all so very generous. Even if we were able to provide - whether its families and parishes, or agencies and governments - everything that a struggling expectant mother would need in terms of food, clothing, healthcare, housing, child care, transportation and job training, there would still be opposition to ending abortion. When the arguments for abortion as a necessity were met by “we’ll provide what is lacking”, the argument shifted to “it’s my right”. And there will be some expecting women who do not want to be moms, nor even to be pregnant, for reasons from wanting to get away from an abusive boyfriend or husband, to not wanting to interrupt their career, education, or social life.
Should we do all that we can to help an individual mother? I think that’s a Christian imperative. I think it’s different, though, to provide for a person and to set up a policy of endless welfare spending. The difference is one of taking a person in, rather than merely throwing money at them. It is the former that a family, or a congregation, or an intentional community like a maternity home can uniquely do much better than a government can.