Abortion: If You Could Say Just One Thing

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Giggly_Giraffe said:
You are not alone.

I believe men need to be in the front line praying too. Women have a heavy burden on their shoulders by the time they make that walk. Many of them are making the decision alone and afraid. Many women have been verbally assaulted by their partner and parents causing them to take that walk alone. Many women don’t feel that they have a help mate to direct them. It is this absence of good men that these women need. Kind, merciful, non-judging, hope giving men to replace the men who have failed them. Men who can take the thrashing of what these women had the courage to say to those who got them into trouble. Men who will restore their faith in mankind and generally help them become vessels of life. Men who can can “Sorry” on behalf of other men.
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You’re describing a Catholic male. Unfortunately, we Catholic men have been slacking (some of us) and have shirked our duties as Catholics and as men. It’s not a “men hating” opinion but a fact. Men need to relearn why God created us different from women and what is our role in a marriage/family. We’re not made to be “mommy’s helpers” or the one to bring in the bacon; we have a very specific role and that’s why there’s been a marked decrease in men participating in Church. I hope other Catholic men get the fire under their behinds like I did/do and take an active role in the Church again. That way, we can turn the tide on this horrible trend that has left our women vulnerable and alone.
 
The baby feels horrible pain as it dies. and This will haunt you the rest of your life.
 
Unfortunately, I am ashamed to say that I can speak to this personally, as I had an abortion in 1973 and have deeply regretted it. It has been a heavy burden. When I came into the Catholic Church 40 years later, I burst into tears at my first Reconciliation. I would say to that young woman from so many years ago:

After one year, will you miss it when the first time MaMa is said? After 5 years, will you miss the start of kindergarten? After 21 years, will you miss that college graduation? After 40 years, will you miss your grandchildren?

It could have been a man or a woman who could have said it, as long as it was with love.
 
akrulisky said:
Unfortunately, I am ashamed to say that I can speak to this personally, as I had an abortion in 1973 and have deeply regretted it. It has been a heavy burden. When I came into the Catholic Church 40 years later, I burst into tears at my first Reconciliation. I would say to that young woman from so many years ago:

After one year, will you miss it when the first time MaMa is said? After 5 years, will you miss the start of kindergarten? After 21 years, will you miss that college graduation? After 40 years, will you miss your grandchildren?

It could have been a man or a woman who could have said it, as long as it was with love.
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Those are touching words. Thank you for sharing your testimony. It is not easy in Colorado. We have a 100 foot bubble law here, so we must be back quite a ways from the doors. Additionally the “clinic” is set pretty far back on private property.
 
As I’ve prayed in front of an abortion mill with numerous health violations, I have said, “This building is not safe. They have numerous health code violations.”

Or I’ve sadly been able to say, “A woman has died in there having an abortion.”

Some women don’t care about morality of abortion but will think twice when they hear maybe what they doing actually isn’t safe.
 
Hi!
I know you are asking for advice which is short and to the point, and that’s awesome. In addition to the great advice that has been given to you on this thread, I hope you don’t mind if I add some thoughts.

Have you ever heard of Trent Horn? I think that he has an excellent, rational approach to being persuasively pro-life. He actually has written a book called Persuasive Pro-Life and you can probably buy it on Catholic Answers store or Amazon! Josh Brahm is another person who is very helpful and has a radio show which is video archived on his website. Both of them touch upon the common claim that men have no place in the abortion debate, because they cannot have children. But, if men should not have any say when it comes to being against abortion, why is it OK for them to be outspokenly pro-abortion? Why are so many men abortion doctors? Makes you, think, huh?

Don’t allow anyone to intimidate you or make you feel like you won’t reach women because you are a man. The world needs men who are pro-life now more than ever. Keep fighting with love! 🙂

Trent Horn - trenthorn.com/
Josh Brahm - joshbrahm.com/
Justice For All - jfaweb.org/HOME.html
Dialogue Tip: Responding To “You’re a man! You can’t get pregnant!” - joshbrahm.com/dialogue-tip-responding-youre-man-cant-get-pregnant/
 
EWTN did a show on how they are changing ways to stop abortion. For example, near colleges, they have places that encourage family. This means that they have resources for the guys to become fathers/husbands & for gals to become mothers/wives. It is a wholeistic approach to promote family. This challenges the culture that places the sole burden upon women and brings out the Catholic foundation of family. It currently sounds Like all the resources given today only focus on mom and baby. Who takes the women to the clinics. Sometimes it’s their parents, sometimes friends, sometimes their mates, many times they are alone.

IMO the war on abortion needs to start with helping people see the value in a family; specifically a family as God intended. Individuals need strong reminders of the follies of fornication (hook-up culture, pornography, co-living, drinking too much, avoiding being raped and avoid raping another, respect between the sexes, and such) … It almost seems as if we need to educate people what a healthy relationship looks like. We need to get back to why adultery is bad (pornography, prostitutes, sexual slaves, wandering eyes, lustful thoughts, how to deal with boardom, chastity in marriage, and how to take care of sick spouces). This is where the greatest progress against abortion needs to take place … IMO.
 
akrulisky said:
Unfortunately, I am ashamed to say that I can speak to this personally, as I had an abortion in 1973 and have deeply regretted it. It has been a heavy burden. When I came into the Catholic Church 40 years later, I burst into tears at my first Reconciliation. I would say to that young woman from so many years ago:

After one year, will you miss it when the first time MaMa is said? After 5 years, will you miss the start of kindergarten? After 21 years, will you miss that college graduation? After 40 years, will you miss your grandchildren?

It could have been a man or a woman who could have said it, as long as it was with love.
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Thank you for sharing your painful memories. I hope that your Catholic faith is helping you find peace. I had 2 close relatives that had abortions in 1973 shortly after the law was passed. One almost died and her reproductive organs were scarred from the procedure. Neither one of them ever talked about it afterwards. One never married and never had kids. I wish Roe v Wade had never been passed.
You would be able to counsel those who are considering abortion and help them see it is better to choose another option.
 
“How much money would it take to change your mind and deliver a baby?”
 
7_Sorrows said:
Thank you for sharing your painful memories. I hope that your Catholic faith is helping you find peace. I had 2 close relatives that had abortions in 1973 shortly after the law was passed. One almost died and her reproductive organs were scarred from the procedure. Neither one of them ever talked about it afterwards. One never married and never had kids. I wish Roe v Wade had never been passed.
You would be able to counsel those who are considering abortion and help them see it is better to choose another option.
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Yes, my new-found Catholic Faith has given me a measure of peace, because of Reconciliation. However, at that time in 1973, there was no one to say the words I suggested and I am afraid for many today, the same is true. Roe v Wade is an evil law that made abortion a “medical procedure” and that is what I viewed it as at the time because that is how I was advised. So very wrong, and it cannot be taken back. That said, I have done what I can to pray for those souls lost to abortion and for those who experienced it wrongly. Judgment is easy, but approaching the one about to have an abortion with compassion and the message of mercy is absolutely necessary AND must be done prayerfully and with a clean heart. Anything less, will not make the situation better.

I did have the opportunity to speak with one young lady who was considering an abortion and I told her, "You will be indelibly marked by whatever decision you make, either way. If you decide to have an abortion your heart will be seared forever, because I can tell you that personally. If you decide to give birth, no matter your decision to raise the child or not, you will forever change the world for this child you are carrying and all who is touched by this child, including yourself.

I don’t know if this is why this mother did not choose abortion, but I pray that I made a difference by sharing my own story. It has not been easy to share my story, because so many judge harshly and the above instance was the first time I ever shared my experience after it being my secret for so many years.
 
akrulisky said:
Yes, my new-found Catholic Faith has given me a measure of peace, because of Reconciliation. However, at that time in 1973, there was no one to say the words I suggested and I am afraid for many today, the same is true. Roe v Wade is an evil law that made abortion a “medical procedure” and that is what I viewed it as at the time because that is how I was advised. So very wrong, and it cannot be taken back. That said, I have done what I can to pray for those souls lost to abortion and for those who experienced it wrongly. Judgment is easy, but approaching the one about to have an abortion with compassion and the message of mercy is absolutely necessary AND must be done prayerfully and with a clean heart. Anything less, will not make the situation better.
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👍 Well said.
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
“How much money would it take to change your mind and deliver a baby?”
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Don’t think the gals would believe that for one thing. What a person says also depends on the logistics of the situation. What might work face to face would not work when you have to stand 100 feet back from the person.
 
Either play a recording or have a child saying “Mommy, I love you.”
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
“How much money would it take to change your mind and deliver a baby?”
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Please… NEVER say such a thing if you wish to change the mind of a mother-to-be from having an abortion. It will only harden her heart to what she is about to do. It is not about money, it is about not understanding that they are committing murder of an innocent. It would alienate that mother and not open her heart to other possibilities, because it reduces her to a monetary equation where she is judgmentally viewed as only a vessel not the mother of a soul. Sorry to be so direct, but this statement brought deep emotion up for me.
 
What is sad is that adoption doesn’t matter to most that are walking through that door. They have decided to deal with the problem of their pregnancy in the most expedient way possible. I think this is because they don’t view the “clump of cells” as a person yet. One of the more insightful things I have heard- I think it was a pm- is that:

“Your unborn baby has a beating heart at 6 weeks.”
 
akrulisky said:
Please… NEVER say such a thing if you wish to change the mind of a mother-to-be from having an abortion. It will only harden her heart to what she is about to do. It is not about money, it is about not understanding that they are committing murder of an innocent. It would alienate that mother and not open her heart to other possibilities, because it reduces her to a monetary equation where she is judgmentally viewed as only a vessel not the mother of a soul. Sorry to be so direct, but this statement brought deep emotion up for me.
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I strongly disagree. A quick sidewalk conversation is never going to change someones knowledge, or theology. You cannot put this issue on a bumpersticker and expect results.

What does matter is money. Many women have abortions specifically because they are in dire straits. Some have even engaged in sexual acts specifically FOR money. Others are just worried about how they might pay for the procedure.
Many women getting abortions are doing so at the most desperate time of their lives. This is a time where a hug and a view of the person hood of a fetus has no interest in their minds. Someone suggested a recording of a baby saying I love you mommy. That could very well be the scariest thing someone could hear at that time.
1000 Dollars and medical bills paid?
10,000 Dollars?
100 Dollars?

There is a price for this decision. If you only could just say one thing as the OP suggests, money is the easiest, most understandable and most effective approach. 🤷
I have been a sidewalk counselor, I have also worked with women who are beaten and/or prostitutes and druggies. I can tell you that money is by far and away the single biggest attention. But you better be prepared to back it up.
I have given money to women in front of the clinic before. Knowing full well they may indeed make another appointment or use it for drugs. But it turned them away from the baby death camp for the time being… That is worth it to me.

I’m not rich by any means, but I would have no problem giving a woman 10,000 strait out of my retirement to save a baby. Of course there would be strings attached…
 
I would ask the Holy Spirit for the right words to say. I think each woman is different, so what might touch the heart or get the attention of one might not work for another. Sometimes words may not be necessary. I never said anything to the women going in and out of the PP when I used to pray in front of it because I never felt inspired to do so. I gathered that the reason God wanted me there was strictly for prayer and as a silent witness.
 
I think offering help is what works better. Explaining to them what other options they have and offering to help them with the specific situation that is pushing them to abort. Try to be emphatic to their situation and show a genuine desire to help the mother.

I do think that these women will listen most likely to another woman. Usually the pro choice argument is that men have no say on it and it is a matter between the woman and the doctor so if the woman has been exposed to the pro choice argument her reaction is going to be you can talk when you can get pregnant. So another woman is definitely more effective. If it is a woman who was pro choice but had a change of heart it is even more effective. If it ud a woman who had an abortion and repented and is now involved in the pro life movement, bingo, that is super effective.
 
wild_thing said:
I would ask the Holy Spirit for the right words to say. I think each woman is different, so what might touch the heart or get the attention of one might not work for another. Sometimes words may not be necessary. I never said anything to the women going in and out of the PP when I used to pray in front of it because I never felt inspired to do so. I gathered that the reason God wanted me there was strictly for prayer and as a silent witness.
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I think this is a very wise answer, Kate, I mean Wild…

We seem to share the same boat, so to speak, as far as experience goes. Prayer and relying on the Holy Spirit’s guidance must be more powerful than words. Still, some must speak, though it seems.
 
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