abortion?

  • Thread starter Thread starter celestielle
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celestielle said:
thats great, i could really use some advice from them or anybody even about what i should do, because i really feel like my life has pretty much ended right now :\
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First off my prayers are with you at this time…second abortion is murder and yes there is a baby in there…No you life hasnt ended, you have the oppurtunity to make mature and selfless choices right now. No adoption would not be easy for you, but you would be at peace that you made a very mature and selfless choice by placing your baby up for adoption. My hubby and I are willing to adopt in a heartbeat!!! Please take care and know that God loves you as well as CAF posters and we will keep you and your precious one in our prayers!
 
What is so wrong with putting it up for adoption?

Do you not consider that a possibility or what?
 
**Celestielle,

Hi, I feel like I can relate to how you feel and what you are going through. I got pregnant at a young age, I was very scared. The boyfriend left me and wanted me to abort. Abortion was not an option for me, ever. His sister told him I should abort as well. There was pressure from all around. When we told my mom (he was still w/ me), she was mad, but forgave me as Christ forgives us. The boyfriend and I broke up shortly after but I chose life for my son. He is now over 12 years old and I can’t imagine my life w/ out him. Please, please, please, think about your baby. Please?? It is a baby, heart is probably already beating at this point (I think it beats at 18 days?). Anyway, it wasn’t an easy road being pregnant and alone, but it was definitely do-able and I really don’t regret my decision to choose life. Look at it like this, you won’t look at this baby in 10 years (if you keep the baby yourself) and say, “gee I regret you.” BUT in 10 years you will still be emotionally hurting if you choose murder. Please message me if you wanna talk, I’ve been there, done that and can definitely listen w/ out judging you.
God Bless you and your little baby.**
 
um a lot of people have posted and i cant really answer them all cuz there is so many D:

i have lots of big worries about this… not just about people being mad or money but other stuff too like, actually HAVING the baby… it seems so painful and really scary to do. and also i know there would be so many doctors appts… i dont want to be alone by myself in a room with a doctor thats why i havent gone yet, i am afraid of that too. and then once its born… what if they take it and put it in foster care? i spent half my life in foster care, i know whats its like, i dont want to have a baby and they end up in foster care too
 
I was adopted. I’ve met my biological mother and have a great relationship with her, and I am super close to my father and mother who raised me-same with my sister and everyone else in my families.

I’m sure glad no one aborted me.

Please reconsider.

Prayers for you.
 
mamacita said:
**Celestielle,

Hi, I feel like I can relate to how you feel and what you are going through. I got pregnant at a young age, I was very scared. The boyfriend left me and wanted me to abort. Abortion was not an option for me, ever. His sister told him I should abort as well. There was pressure from all around. When we told my mom (he was still w/ me), she was mad, but forgave me as Christ forgives us. The boyfriend and I broke up shortly after but I chose life for my son. He is now over 12 years old and I can’t imagine my life w/ out him. Please, please, please, think about your baby. Please?? It is a baby, heart is probably already beating at this point (I think it beats at 18 days?). Anyway, it wasn’t an easy road being pregnant and alone, but it was definitely do-able and I really don’t regret my decision to choose life. Look at it like this, you won’t look at this baby in 10 years (if you keep the baby yourself) and say, “gee I regret you.” BUT in 10 years you will still be emotionally hurting if you choose murder. Please message me if you wanna talk, I’ve been there, done that and can definitely listen w/ out judging you.
God Bless you and your little baby.**
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that sucks they pressured you to have an abortion :\ nobody would do that to me, im sure if they found out they would do the opposite

what did you do to make things work out ?
 
celestielle said:
um a lot of people have posted and i cant really answer them all cuz there is so many D:

i have lots of big worries about this… not just about people being mad or money but other stuff too like, actually HAVING the baby… it seems so painful and really scary to do. and also i know there would be so many doctors appts… i dont want to be alone by myself in a room with a doctor thats why i havent gone yet, i am afraid of that too. and then once its born… what if they take it and put it in foster care? i spent half my life in foster care, i know whats its like, i dont want to have a baby and they end up in foster care too
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It’s painful. There are meds you can take. I had a C-section. You feel NOTHING in that situation. Hard (for me) to recover from but I was also 35, I have several friends who’ve had c’s… and they were up in days no probs. It’s a little scary. Even for those of us who did it on purpose in our 30’s. That’s normal. You don’t ever have to be alone with a doctor. You can ask for someone (a nurse even) to be in with you. Tell them you’re scared. You’d be suprised how many will go out of their way to make you feel better.

What makes you think your baby would go to foster care? Totally different from adoption.
 
celestielle said:
um a lot of people have posted and i cant really answer them all cuz there is so many D:

i have lots of big worries about this… not just about people being mad or money but other stuff too like, actually HAVING the baby… it seems so painful and really scary to do. and also i know there would be so many doctors appts… i dont want to be alone by myself in a room with a doctor thats why i havent gone yet, i am afraid of that too. and then once its born… what if they take it and put it in foster care? i spent half my life in foster care, i know whats its like, i dont want to have a baby and they end up in foster care too
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Hey I just found this thread so I’m a little late chiming in. I know you want to do the right thing and I can only imagine how lonely you must feel right now since you have no real life support just yet…just all of us on the forums talking to you.

I’ve lost 4 beautiful babies through miscarriages and with my last one we saw the heartbeat before she died. I still tear up when I think about seeing her brave little heart beating away as hard as it could. I will always treasure that moment. I firmly believe that your baby is as perfect and beautiful as my babies were…and you have the gift of a healthy pregnancy. That is such a great gift. Like someone else said–you have the chance to be a mother–to give birth to a perfect, innocent, beautiful baby.

The dr. appointments really aren’t that bad at all. If you’ve ever been to a gynecologist, they are very similar. The first one they do a pelvic exam and then if everything is going good, the middle of the pregnancy appointments are mainly just listening to the heartbeat and measuring your tummy. Toward the end they check to see if you’re dilating…pretty much just a pelvic exam. If you have a guy dr. (like I do) he always buzzes in a nurse or assistant that is a girl so it is more comfortable. Labor isn’t fun but it isn’t forever–a day give or take a few hours and you can always choose an epidural. Recovery take a couple weeks but everything gets back to normal pretty soon.

I don’t see why your baby would be put in foster care if you chose to keep your baby or chose a good adoptive family. Knowing more about your history, I can imagine why you’d be scared about that, though.

I think some of the bravest people in the world are single mothers. I think you’re brave for looking for answers and wanting to do the right thing. I think you’d make a great mother to this baby and I think if you chose adoption, you’d choose a wonderful family who is longing to love a baby like yours.

Here’s my living daughter’s u/s at 8 weeks.

KG
 
faithfully said:
It’s painful. There are meds you can take. I had a C-section. You feel NOTHING in that situation. Hard (for me) to recover from but I was also 35, I have several friends who’ve had c’s… and they were up in days no probs. It’s a little scary. Even for those of us who did it on purpose in our 30’s. That’s normal. You don’t ever have to be alone with a doctor. You can ask for someone (a nurse even) to be in with you. Tell them you’re scared. You’d be suprised how many will go out of their way to make you feel better.

What makes you think your baby would go to foster care? Totally different from adoption.
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i just think that they would… and even if it was given to be adopted, whats the difference, its really just permanent foster care. the people would still be strangers, who knows what they would do to the baby? they could do anything to do it, and i wouldnt be able to protect it
 
is it dangerous that i havent gone to see a dr yet? is it something where if you dont go right away you might even die?
 
celestielle said:
is it dangerous that i havent gone to see a dr yet? is it something where if you dont go right away you might even die?
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No, not at all. How far along are you? Your body knows what to do. Do you have any morning sickness or anything? Don’t worry about the baby. He or she is doing just fine.
 
celestielle said:
i just think that they would… and even if it was given to be adopted, whats the difference, its really just permanent foster care. the people would still be strangers, who knows what they would do to the baby? they could do anything to do it, and i wouldnt be able to protect it
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Oh my. Did you know that you can actually choose the parents you want your baby to have? At least you can do that here in the US, I would think Canada wouldn’t be that far behind us. The potential parents record videos and have all sorts of material available for you to look at. They are screened very well by the adoption agencies. People who go through the very difficult procedure to adopt are very motivated to have and love a baby. A lot of the abuse that happens to children comes through a step father or a boyfriend of the mother.

The only reason a baby would be taken from its mother after birth is that the mother is on drugs or is unable to care for the baby due to mental illness. Even then, the authorities might try to find a home for the baby to be able to stay with his or her mother.

It sounds as if you have had some really difficult experiences in life but your baby doesn’t have to go through that. You can make the difference.

By the way, you really do have to tell the father of the baby. It’s not fair for you to keep this secret to yourself. Half of his genes are in that baby. Unless you think he will pressure you to have an abortion. I personally would tell him anyway, and just refuse to give in to any pressure, but I’m not in that situation either.
 
TheRealJuliane said:
No, not at all. How far along are you? Your body knows what to do. Do you have any morning sickness or anything? Don’t worry about the baby. He or she is doing just fine.
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Its not dangerous per se but they can start screening you and make sure you are OK and your baby is OK. Also the doctor can get you on prenatal vitamins to make sure the baby is getting all the nutrition he/she needs.

As far as whether or not to adopt - contact the Sisters on the link and they can help walk you through whether or not that is a choice or whether or not you want to raise your child at this point. Also if you are going to an adoption you may need the father’s permission so you may want to get him invovled.
 
celestielle said:
i just think that they would… and even if it was given to be adopted, whats the difference, its really just permanent foster care. the people would still be strangers, who knows what they would do to the baby? they could do anything to do it, and i wouldnt be able to protect it
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You know, I don’t have first hand experience with foster care. But I know lots of adoptive parents. These are people that WANT a baby and usually can’t have one.

I hope you will pay attention to the things you are writing. You are afraid you will be attached to this baby. You are afraid that you won’t be able to protect your baby. You feel that you will be supported by those around you.

You can not possibly think that killing your baby is better than giving him or her up to someone that wants him/her. Or that killing your baby is somehow more protective, caring and love of your baby than an adoptive parent will give your child.

Please don’t convince yourself that because you’re scared the best option is to kill your baby.

No you will not die if you don’t get to a dr. right away. It’s just that your health and babies health are best monitored and cared for from the gate.

Keep in mind you can also go to a FEMALE doctor.
 
TheRealJuliane said:
Oh my. Did you know that you can actually choose the parents you want your baby to have? At least you can do that here in the US, I would think Canada wouldn’t be that far behind us. The potential parents record videos and have all sorts of material available for you to look at. They are screened very well by the adoption agencies. People who go through the very difficult procedure to adopt are very motivated to have and love a baby. A lot of the abuse that happens to children comes through a step father or a boyfriend of the mother.

The only reason a baby would be taken from its mother after birth is that the mother is on drugs or is unable to care for the baby due to mental illness. Even then, the authorities might try to find a home for the baby to be able to stay with his or her mother.

It sounds as if you have had some really difficult experiences in life but your baby doesn’t have to go through that. You can make the difference.

By the way, you really do have to tell the father of the baby. It’s not fair for you to keep this secret to yourself. Half of his genes are in that baby. Unless you think he will pressure you to have an abortion. I personally would tell him anyway, and just refuse to give in to any pressure, but I’m not in that situation either.
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yeah i know you can choose but people always make themselves seem nice on the outside if they want something :\ just look at foster parents they have to go through all kinds of screens and tests and get visits by social workers all the time but they can still hide what they are really like and nobody ever finds out

yeah i know i have to tell the father i guess i am just nervous to, but he will be the one i tell first
 
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