Absence

[dang71]

why is it, that no matter how much i pray, trying to find out what it is that God wants me to do, trying to find out God’s will for my life, God never answers me? it seems He just doesn’t care. if His will is so important, why would God NOT want us to know what it is, so we could actually follow it?

 

[BarbaraTherese]

why is it, that no matter how much i pray, trying to find out what it is that God wants me to do, trying to find out God’s will for my life, God never answers me? it seems He just doesn’t care. if His will is so important, why would God NOT want us to know what it is, so we could actually follow it?

Hello D71…Sometimes our feelings can be deceptive, for God is always open to us and with loving concern - our Faith tells us this. Our feelings can be deceptive in many ways…for example, I may feel someone one my campus does not like me as they never talk to me. Later on talking with them, we find out that we both felt the same, laugh about how we felt, and become great friends. Feelings can be deceptive and not good guides at times to reality. What our Faith tells us is the reality, not what our feelings may say. Whatever The Church teaches us is the reality of God and what He asks of us…and His Ways with us…and as Scripture says “My Ways are not your ways”.

God’s Will for us is in each and every day in those things that we need to do in each day…perhaps our workplace employment or some other call or duty in our life. We know we are to avoid sin and resist temptation, but often we fail and so God has gifted us with the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

I did look at your Profile and it did not say your age as I suspect you may be young and seeking what God wants for the rest of your life. Have you thought about getting a spiritual director or perhaps making an appointment with your parish priest and talking over what you are feeling?

If I am confused about God’s Will, God can see this and He looks at our heart that desires so much to do His Will…and He looks upon it with great tender Love, knowing that at this time we are very confused about His Will. Our Faith tells us this and so it is reality and the reality of things. Perhaps at this time since God seems silent (and He speaks in many ways indeed including through other people) it is time to be patient, pray and wait. Ask Him to let you know His Will and be patient as you wait for His Answer. I know that this can be very difficult…and do try to seek out either a spiritual director or make an appointment with your parish priest, or perhaps some Religious Order of priests you know of perhaps not far from you.

I hope other posters may be of more help to you…may The Lord richly bless you…regards…Barb

 

[Ted_in_Charlott]

You are not alone in your struggles. Many go through life “feeling” God is not a personal God, and some even go to the extreme of thinking God must not exist simply because He has not made a personal appearance to them. Some might even think that just because God does not seem to be there that gives them the right to say and do all matter of things that they wouldn’t dream of if God was with them.

When we are lonely we get depressed, we need company. What better company than Our Creator. When it seems like He is not there then we start to dwell on things like He doesn’t like us or we did something horrible to run him off. God is not like that. He knows all of our thoughts and feelings and his ways sometimes we cannot imagine. I spent over 2 years with virtually no family no friends and I was so depressed. I was a mess, I cried at the smallest things simply because I was lonely. I pleaded with God many nights and went to sleep with my rosary or crucifix. I am lucky now I have my wife here from the Philippines and having that one special person in my life makes all the difference. Maybe you just need some people in your life to help see God through them? Maybe go out and meet other people get a new hobby? God can and will work through other people in your life.

Praying for you.

 

[dang71]

Perhaps at this time since God seems silent (and He speaks in many ways indeed including through other people) it is time to be patient, pray and wait. Ask Him to let you know His Will and be patient as you wait for His Answer.

How long do i have to wait? i have been praying for some things for almost a DECADE, is that patient enough? prayer has been nothing but useless for me.

make an appointment with your parish priest.

let me tell you about parish priests. when my mom was on her deathbed in the hospital, i called up THREE different priests. not one of them could get up off their lazy posterior to go and give her last rites, simply because she was not an official member of their parish. bunch of jerks.

 

[beckycmarie]

why is it, that no matter how much i pray, trying to find out what it is that God wants me to do, trying to find out God’s will for my life, God never answers me? it seems He just doesn’t care. if His will is so important, why would God NOT want us to know what it is, so we could actually follow it?

Dear dang,

It’s simple, really. God’s will is for you to get to Heaven. To do that, you need to remain in a state of grace, pray daily, and fulfill the duties of your state.

1. Are you in a state of grace? If not, go to Confession. You’re likely not going to “hear” God if you’ve turned away from Him due to mortal sin.
2. Are you praying daily? It’s hard to cultivate a close relationship with God if you pray sporadically here and there when you think of it or when you want to. If you haven’t done so already, carve out some time in your day to pray. Start small, say 15 minutes a day if that’s all you can do at first. With time, you will learn how to “hear” and respond to the indwelling Trinity.
3. Want to know specifically what God wants you to do? I’ll give the ship analogy here. God can turn your rudder to the right or the left, but no matter how hard he turns it, if you are just parked there in the water, refusing to move because you’re waiting for some “sign” on which way to go, you’re not going to go anywhere. You just need to DO something. If what you’re doing causes you anxiety rather than peace, then you’re doing is likely the wrong thing and you need to try something else.

God is not going to show up as a burning bush in your yard and announce what He wants you to do. Well, at least He hasn’t done it that way for a few thousand years.

But anyway, if you are just sitting around waiting for some big sign, instead of doing your part to cultivate a relationship with Him, you’re gonna be waiting a long time.

 

[Paul2274]

Stay-at-Home Catholic Dad of 3… is me! (and proud to be)

You might be trying to listen to hard that you can’t hear what God is saying.

I imagine our prayers, wants, and lives as the storm in the bible where Jesus is asleep in the boat with the disciples. The storm is blowing and causing waves (just like our lives)
Jesus wakes and says… “Be still…”

I think we all need to awaken from our stormy lives and “Be still”
to hear and listen and obey exactly what God is saying and calling us to do and be.

Paul

 

[mercygate]

why is it, that no matter how much i pray, trying to find out what it is that God wants me to do, trying to find out God’s will for my life, God never answers me? it seems He just doesn’t care. if His will is so important, why would God NOT want us to know what it is, so we could actually follow it?

What are you praying for?

Some things don’t need personal communications.

We have the 10 Commandments, the beatitudes, the standard set for our lives by the Person of Jesus Christ, the precepts of the Church. Plenty of guidelines.

 

[dang71]

1. ship analogy

the big problem with this analogy is that there are certain paths that forever alter the direction of our life. certain paths cannot be “steered” away from.

 

[beckycmarie]

the big problem with this analogy is that there are certain paths that forever alter the direction of our life. certain paths cannot be “steered” away from.

May I ask what it is you’re trying to figure out God’s will on specifically? In terms of forever things, I can only think of 3 options in that regard:

1. Married life.
2. Holy orders/religious life
3. Staying single

I heard of a priest saying it this way. You walk into a room and there are 3 chairs. The single chair, the married chair, and the religious chair.

If you want to know what God’s will is for you, then try out each chair. Hop in the married chair and try dating. If that feels wrong to you and you just can’t see yourself married, then hang out in the single chair and see if you could see yourself just being single for the rest of your life. And if that doesn’t seem right, try out the holy orders/religious chair.

You don’t take your vows the first day - there is a lot of discernment before you take the plunge.

So what else is there that you’re thinking of that is a forever choice?

 

[dang71]

If what you’re doing causes you anxiety rather than peace, then you’re doing is likely the wrong thing and you need to try something else.

i’m sorry but i have to question this also, because in the bible God has always asked people to do unreasonable things. I’m sure Jesus saying He was the Son of God caused lots of anxiety in His followers. God telling Abraham to sacrifice his son probably caused a lot of anxiety for him. feeling calm and peaceful doesn’t seem to be a good indication of being on the path God wants us on.

 

[mercygate]

i’m sorry but i have to question this also, because in the bible God has always asked people to do unreasonable things. I’m sure Jesus saying He was the Son of God caused lots of anxiety in His followers. God telling Abraham to sacrifice his son probably caused a lot of anxiety for him. feeling calm and peaceful doesn’t seem to be a good indication of being on the path God wants us on.

What is the specific burden on your heart that is troubling you?

 

[beckycmarie]

i’m sorry but i have to question this also, because in the bible God has always asked people to do unreasonable things. I’m sure Jesus saying He was the Son of God caused lots of anxiety in His followers. God telling Abraham to sacrifice his son probably caused a lot of anxiety for him. feeling calm and peaceful doesn’t seem to be a good indication of being on the path God wants us on.

Dang,

Do you suppose it’s possible God is sending you answers left and right, but you are missing them because you are resistant to what He has to say? I notice a lot of resistance here, like in your response above.

Perhaps if you were willing to share what it is you’re agonizing over, we could be more helpful in our answers.

 

[dang71]

May I ask what it is you’re trying to figure out God’s will on specifically?

i am not seeking advice on any one specific thing, but on anything. if God has a plan, then i want to follow that plan. it seems to me there is nothing more important. in each and every decision we make, we need to be choosing God. just randomly choosing a path and hoping God steered me to that path seems way too haphazard for me. risking salvation is not something i want to do.

 

[dang71]

Dang,

Do you suppose it’s possible God is sending you answers left and right, but you are missing them because you are resistant to what He has to say? I notice a lot of resistance here, like in your response above.

maybe god is sending me answers and i am just resistant. i am just really frustrated that there is no real clear answer. how do i know it is God speaking to me? how do i know if it is just me fooling myself? how do i know it is not the devil fooling me? it doesn’t seem logical that, for something as important as following God’s will, that there would not be a precise way of determining this.

 

[chewchoo]

being obedient to your lot in life.
being a good steward.
being thankful for all of god’s gifts.
discussing particular concerns with the ones you are close to and hearing god’s answer in their answers.
spending time with god, and his word.

i too wonder if i’m on the right path, but then again i’m on a path, and i have to make the right decisions in the here and now. i have come to the conclusion that doing god’s will is following his commandments. we all want to make a positive impact on the world, but sometimes that positive impact is interacting with one person positively that allows them to have that impact on the world. who knows, you may have already started that wheel in motion.

 

[beckycmarie]

i am not seeking advice on any one specific thing, but on anything. if God has a plan, then i want to follow that plan. it seems to me there is nothing more important. in each and every decision we make, we need to be choosing God. just randomly choosing a path and hoping God steered me to that path seems way too haphazard for me. risking salvation is not something i want to do.

If you would develop a close relationship with God (refer to post #5, steps 1 and 2), you would stop agonizing over this issue.

God wants you to get to Heaven. There is nothing mysterious there - you do what you need to do to stay in a state of grace, and you are guaranteed salvation if you die in grace.

A lot of accepting and doing God’s will has to do with keeping his commands, listening to the Church, and following through with the duty of the moment. If you’re a student, do your schoolwork. If you’ve got a job, obey your boss and do what you need to do.

We progress a little towards Heaven each day by just being faithful in the little things one moment at a time. There is no need to go through life stressing out that there is some grand calling God has in mind for you and you’re missing it because you aren’t getting a sign. If He has something major for you to do, the assignment will fall into your lap. Your concern should be loving God and keeping his commands so you get to Heaven. Everything else in life is just gravy.

Quit wigging out over what your mission is, and work on being close to God. He’s already right there waiting for you. If you’re not close to God, it’s because you haven’t done your part.

 

[LilyM]

i am not seeking advice on any one specific thing, but on anything. if God has a plan, then i want to follow that plan. it seems to me there is nothing more important. in each and every decision we make, we need to be choosing God. just randomly choosing a path and hoping God steered me to that path seems way too haphazard for me. risking salvation is not something i want to do.

Well, what’s wrong with praying for God’s guidance and then rationally examining the pros and cons of your options, both from a practical view and from a view of what you think would be most pleasing to God (the old ‘What Would Jesus Do?’ question). Then choosing the best.

Nothing random about that, surely, and God did give us the faculty of thinking, you know. He expects us to use it! And believe me, there are very few situations where it’s an all-or-nothing proprosition, God isn’t going to condemn you if there are two options that appear equally good and you choose one of 'em. I’d say God isn’t fussed either way in such a situation.

 

[mercygate]

i am not seeking advice on any one specific thing, but on anything. if God has a plan, then i want to follow that plan. it seems to me there is nothing more important. in each and every decision we make, we need to be choosing God. just randomly choosing a path and hoping God steered me to that path seems way too haphazard for me. risking salvation is not something i want to do.

I have found that if I do not have a question, I most likely (not absolutely, but LIKELY) will not get an answer.

For example, recently I had to discern whether the Lord was calling me into a form of consecrated life under a simple pledge or via a vow. The vow would entail taking a religious name. He had already made it clear that this would be a life commitment.

When I prayed about this, I laid it out unamibiguously: Lord. You have brought me this far. Don’t mess with me here. Don’t make me “discern” this until it’s nothing more than a denial of your call. Show me CLEARLY, without any doubt, where you want this to go. Thank you very much. Talk to you soon. Amen.

I then opened my copy of *Magnificat *to review the Mass readings for the next day. Several years before, I had been asked what name I would take if I were to enter Religious life, and after much thought, an Old Testament figure seemed to represent my own journey to a T.

Guess who the The Gospel was about when I opened my Magnificat? Blam! “OK, God. You win. Thanks for the quick reply. Amen.”

 

[dang71]

the gist of what i am reading here is that, so long as i am not committing mortal sin, then i can pretty much do whatever i want. it still doesn’t make sense to me that there is not a clear way of discerning God’s will. it is so easy to fool ourselves into certain paths that are not good, and although i trust God, i just don’t trust myself. i don’t mean to be resistive, but i just want to do what is right.

 

[beckycmarie]

the gist of what i am reading here is that, so long as i am not committing mortal sin, then i can pretty much do whatever i want. it still doesn’t make sense to me that there is not a clear way of discerning God’s will. it is so easy to fool ourselves into certain paths that are not good, and although i trust God, i just don’t trust myself. i don’t mean to be resistive, but i just want to do what is right.

Saint Augustine put it this way: “Love God, and do as you please.”

Did you see the thread around here on discerning God’s will? Marco Polo posted this link to a talk on discernment. The talk is in 2 parts - the first is a general overview, and the second is a step-by-step on figuring out God’s will. Maybe this will help.

Originally Posted by MarcoPolo
If you listen to MP3’s…I think this talk by Catholic speaker Phil Krill is very good about discernment. He talks about St. Ignatius of Loyola’s methods of discernment. The talk is called, “Discerning God’s Will for You.” Very good and easy to understand!

Here is the link.