ADHD experiences

  • Thread starter Thread starter katiecall87
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Thank you for the advice. I usually try not to throw the pity parties. I was just really burnt out the day I found out I couldn’t afford the meds that I had finally agreed to try.

Anyway- I’ve had time to recover and I’m ready for action again. Thank you for your encouragement 🙂
 
“–The teacher is being WAY out of line. No more afternoon pickup complaint sessions. Tell her if she has something to say that isn’t urgent, that she can email it to you. If this were the beginning of the year, I’d tell you to rat her out to her principal, but at this point, just try to ride it out to the end of the year. This lady has (ironically) NO SOCIAL SKILLS.”

I want to provide a more detailed account of my experiences with ADHD for the original poster. But for now I will say that I completely agree with this! I’ve had to train teachers to stop with the grossly unprofessional afternoon ambushes. (“I do not discuss classroom issues at pick-up time, but you’re welcome to discuss this by phone, email, or a scheduled meeting.”)

What’s more is that they’re usually violating confidentiality in the process; you’re not the only parent there at pick-up.

I always do advocate for directly communicating with the offender before going over his/her head, though.
 
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I have diagnosed ADHD, but not “severe” ADHD as you state about your son… My first impression from what you tell me is that there is more going on with your son than ADHD.

Regarding his head turn, your need to have him see a good opthamologist about this as it might be vision related. I would rather not start giving you specific medical advice, though I have some experience in the symptoms you’re describing, but please take him to one to determine if a vision impairment might be responsible for this head turn. There is a likelihood, that is the case.

I think I would take him to a pediatric psychiatrist because he/she will be able to best diagnose problems compared to a pediatrician. The problems you are experiencing with your child are outside a pediatricians scope of knowledge. Check around and try to find a good ped. psychiatrist.

I don’t know about other specialists to see, but I’m thinking there are probably other specialists that can take a look at possible causes and solutions for his learning disabilities.

I’ve only addressed the first half of your original posts. May do the other half a bit later.

Lastly, I would strongly encourage you to get the help he needs now and not rather than later. His issues are unlikely to go away of their own accord and need to be addressed now. Make sure you look for doctors and professionals with a good general reputation. Some are great. Others, not so much.
 
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I’m sorry you and your son are going through this. My 10-year-old son also has severe ADHD and Asperger’s. He was diagnosed with both at age 4 by a specialist. The specialist mentioned, and I remember reading, also, that Autism spectrum disorders sometimes show up along with ADHD.

I say “severe” because we CANNOT skip a day of medication. Ever. Some parents are able to give their kids a break from meds on the weekends or during holidays, we just can’t. We haven’t had luck with fish oil, essential oils, or any of the home remedies. He even seems to outgrow his medication and needs it switched or adjusted from time to time.

Someone mentioned it already, but I’ll reiterate: have him evaluated by a specialist and also have the school evaluate him. I’ll tell you that we went the school route to see if my son qualified for any special accommodations; they basically to,d us that since he scores high,y on standardized tests and makes good grades (never mind that it takes extremely hard work and nights spent doing homework to 10 PM frequently) that they couldn’t refer him for testing. Luckily, the Catholic school he attends is able to put some of their own accommodations in place.

What about an “individual” sport like bowling, track, or swimming? My son has done well in some of these sports. We struggle with the party invitations and inclusion in activities with classmates, too, especially now that he’s older, but my son also has a small circle of friends he can count on for his own activities. Maybe try connecting with some of the other moms with kids your son’s age and do play dates to build friendships (take them to a movie, go-cart racing, etc.)? It might help establish a circle of friends for your son.
 
Xantippe said:
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In defense of Jason’s teacher…

She wasn’t so vocal in the beginning. She would only approach me and tell me that he wasn’t doing his work in class. She would occasionally mention it if he was having social problems. However, once she caught on that I was eager to work with her to make things better for Jason, the flood gates opened. I think she had been burning out with him and what was originally a very professional approach quickly became a situation that bounced between sincere (over)eagerness and outright complaining. I really believe she means well, but I also think she brings up things in front of Jason and other students that should be kept in a private correspondence between us adults. I am going to talk to her about this personally once she gets back from her time off for jury duty.
 
pamnbam said:
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I don’t know if severe is the right word or not, and it might be something more like autism. That is why I am pushing for an eval. It is so hard to tell with Jason. Some days, he seems 90% like a normally developed kid- just really immature for his age. Like- he seems more developmentally on par with kids 2 to 3 years younger than him.

Yet, there are other times where I look at him and it hits me that he CAN’T sit still and pay attention or he CAN’T hold his fork correctly. There is something beyond my parenting skills that is preventing him from grasping these day to day life things, to the point where I worry if he will be “ready” for things like driving or getting jobs etcs.

It really fluctuates.

One thing I will also say- is that Jason is not a behavior problem. He’s practically an angel when it comes to his character. He isn’t defiant or aggressive in any way. He’s very friendly and eager to help most of the time. His set backs entirely circulate over things like not being able to sit in a chair without eventually falling out of it (like one of the other parents mentioned in regards to her own child) and totally missing certain social p’s and q’s, like personal space or picking up on when another kid isn’t actually interested in whatever he is talking about. And he will be COMPLETELY confused and upset if he asks a younger child to play w him at the park and they say no. He doesn’t get that they are barely more than babies and he might be scaring them because he is so much older. He really doesn’t get when it might not be entirely appropriate. He just wants to play. Stuff like that.

But before, I always figured he was just lonely because he didn’t “fit in” with kids his age. I didn’t think his behaviors were that odd. I used to think that the other kids just didn’t think he was cool because he didn’t have cell phone and wasn’t allowed to play ‘Call of Duty’ etc.

Now I can see that there might be more going on- but it’s really really hard to tell just HOW MUCH is a condition he needs help w, vs a delay caused by lack of involvement w kids early on etc.
 
pamnbam said:
What about an “individual” sport like bowling, track, or swimming? My son has done well in some of these sports. We struggle with the party invitations and inclusion in activities with classmates, too, especially now that he’s older, but my son also has a small circle of friends he can count on for his own activities. Maybe try connecting with some of the other moms with kids your son’s age and do play dates to build friendships (take them to a movie, go-cart racing, etc.)? It might help establish a circle of friends for your son.
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I just got him into little league and I’m crossing my fingers that it goes well. I had signed him up before reading any of the suggestions against it. He seems excited and nothing bad has happened so far.

I would really really love to put my kids into Catholic school, but I really can’t afford it! It’s so unfortunate.

I’m going to get him into Faith Formation classes in the fall. I am hoping he can make friends there.

But I’ll be honest, when I went to what we called CCD back in the day… it was mostly just tons of kids staring blankly at teachers and fleeing at dismissal- like no one wanted to be there. It was very awkward! I wonder if this is another sad part of “city life”.
 
I’d like to chime is as someone with severe ADHD.

At times, it’s like nothing in my brain is connecting. Thoughts move in and out like they’re floating on an ocean. I can keep track of lots of things at once, but focusing on any one thing is really difficult. Some part of me needs to be moving almost constantly; this frequently got me into trouble growing up, even after my diagnosis. If I don’t find something interesting, it’s incredibly difficult to focus on it or to retain the information even when I do focus.

I know a lot of people try to shy away from meds, but if it’s a severe enough case they can be necessary. I know that if there’s a task I need to really focus on, i pretty much have to take mine, otherwise it’ll only get about a third of my attention, maybe less.

I do have one thing to say though. Do not give your kid Adderal. It can certainly help with the symptoms, but it left me with a myoclonic tic I’ve been dealing with ever since. (involuntary spasm-like muscle contractions. They’re not the worst thing ever, but they can be pretty annoying. I can never be a Eucharistic minister barbecue I’m scared of having a spasm and dropping the host.) I currently take Strattera, and it’s awesome. Help-s me focus without any real side effects apart from dry-mouth.
 
Faith Formation is usually teachers trying to cram a ton of teaching into 45 minutes. It is still good that he go now and the FF leaders get to know him well before Confirmation Prep.

If he needs it, there are adaptive Sacramental Prep products from Loyola that are AMAZING. Your parish should have these available, if not contact the Diocese or the NCPD http://www.ncpd.org/

What can be good for making friends at the parish is summer programs like “Catholic VBS”.
 
katiecall87 said:
I would really really love to put my kids into Catholic school, but I really can’t afford it! It’s so unfortunate.
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Go to the priest in of the parish, explain your circumstances. If he says no, go to the Bishop. I believe in most of the US there are stipulations that no student who wants an Catholic education can be denied.
 
I’m not sure we have VBS for Catholics here! I will ask around and maybe we can start one. It sounds wonderful.
 
I’m not sure about this. I will ask, but I’ve never heard of this before. I think I would just be referred to Faith Formation classes.
 
ProdglArchitect said:
I do have one thing to say though. Do not give your kid Adderal. It can certainly help with the symptoms, but it left me with a myoclonic tic I’ve been dealing with ever since. (involuntary spasm-like muscle contractions. They’re not the worst thing ever, but they can be pretty annoying. I can never be a Eucharistic minister barbecue I’m scared of having a spasm and dropping the host.) I currently take Strattera, and it’s awesome. Help-s me focus without any real side effects apart from dry-mouth.
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We’re veering pretty close to medical advice here, but I have to mention that I know two people who have dealt with addictions to Adderall.
 
Xantippe said:
We’re veering pretty close to medical advice here, but I have to mention that I know two people who have dealt with addictions to Adderall.
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Oh, crud… Very true. I forgot about that rule.

I would frame it more as personal advice though; my experience with a particular medication and the effect it had on me. If it’s crossing the line though, please just delete that paragraph mods. My bad.
 
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Do not take medical advice from this thread, take it from your doctor and a child specialist.

If your son has ADHD/Autism leaving untreated is far worse then taking advise here.

/Thread
 
I’ve been on ADHD meds, I would say it’s definitely something to consider. FWIW. I have quite A LOT of experience with them. They help some persons immensely. Keyword there is “some”.

As always, consult with a doctor with a good record among patients with whom you have some confidence in to consider the possibility.
 
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O.k. First, trust the teachers.
A. They’re educated, certified, and have experience with children. They recognize when something isn’t “right.”
B. Don’t be afraid of the medications. (Aside from the price, that is.) People bash the medications as some kind of mind-altering mind-control foisted upon American youth. Don’t buy into that myth. There is very little chance that you can control ADD without medications. They ARE mind-altering and the ARE mind-controlling, because the ADD mind can’t control itself. And by the way, ADD drugs have been around since at least the 1930s and have been tested as much, if not more, than any other drug. They’re SAFE.

I have ADD. I was never hyperactive, always acted appropriately, was always reserved, and was frequently lost in thoughts. In other words, I’m Inattentive. Typically, Inattentive is more common in girls than boys. I’m a boy.

I’m 51 years old and wasn’t diagnosed until a few years ago. How I wish I had had medications when I was a kid!

As for autism, I can’t help you there. Although my wife and I are suspecting that our 19 year old daughter has a touch of it.
 
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