'Adult' surprise for husband.

[LilyM]

Correct. It’s between me and my husband. No other parties involved.

I can’t see how having a healthy lust and physical desire as well as all the emotional, intellectual and ‘‘spiritual’’ desires for my husband, and he for me, could possibly be disordered.

Really???

Opps



No.

Just me and some strategically placed cameras

Sarah x

Having that physical desire divorced from the other desires makes you no better than or different to a dog or a cow. Which is degrading for a human being gifted with higher faculties.

Sex for a humans has a greater and more noble purpose than mere physical gratification, it mirror’s God’s act of creation and His self-giving in the person of Jesus. It is a holy and sacred thing. It betrays a fundamental misunderstanding of its purpose or significance to make of it a mere expression of fun or youth. My clothes, makeup and music choice are to do with ‘fun’ and ‘youth’. Sex is a whole lot more important and meaningful.

 

[atheistgirl]

Of course he loves you for your mind and your personality - that’s why you equate the dirty dancin’ videos - and only them rather than that mind and personality - with ‘fun’ and ‘youth’

I don’t equate them with fun and youth. And my mind is the most erotic organ in my body. I’ll be as ‘young’ when I’m 60 because as I am now, because of my mind and personality regardless of what physical shape I’m in.

Now it’s my turn to take offense - you’re basically saying that people who don’t make smutty videos for their spouses or indulge in similar practices are somehow missing out on something - not enjoying their life and their youth.

No.

I don’t make smutty videos.

And I don’t know what else, if anything, people are missing out on, because I don’t live their lives, and I don’t expect them to live mine.

I’m enjoying my youth - how others enjoy theirs is entirely up to them and nothing to do with me.

I never commented on anyone else.

You did.

By which you clearly mean sex, since for you those words are synonyms for it.

And riding, and diving, and paragliding, and travelling, and camping, and hunting, and building businesses and on and on it goes … and all with my family!

So not synonyms at all.

One teeny tiny aspect of my love life with my husband.

Nothing more.

Nothing less.

There appears to be no end to your judgementalism.

And no electronic aids or video cameras required - such didn’t even exist. And I’m sure they didn’t miss out on a darn thing.

I’ve been dancing for my husband long long long before we ever bought a camera.

No technology required.

The mind is the most erotic organ in the body.

But we have it, and we use it.

 

[atheistgirl]

Of course he loves you for your mind and your personality - that’s why you equate the dirty dancin’ videos - and only them rather than that mind and personality - with ‘fun’ and ‘youth’

I don’t equate them with fun and youth. And my mind is the most erotic organ in my body. I’ll be as ‘young’ when I’m 60 because as I am now, because of my mind and personality regardless of what physical shape I’m in.

Now it’s my turn to take offense - you’re basically saying that people who don’t make smutty videos for their spouses or indulge in similar practices are somehow missing out on something - not enjoying their life and their youth.

No.

I don’t make smutty videos.

I dance for my husband.

And I don’t know what else, if anything, people are missing out on, because I don’t live their lives, and I don’t expect them to live mine.

I’m enjoying my youth - how others enjoy theirs is entirely up to them and nothing to do with me.

I never commented on anyone else.

You did.

By which you clearly mean sex, since for you those words are synonyms for it.

And riding, and diving, and paragliding, and traveling, and camping, and hunting, and building businesses and on and on it goes … and all with my family!

So not synonyms at all.

One teeny tiny aspect of my love life with my husband.

Nothing more.

Nothing less.

There appears to be no end to your judgementalism.

And no electronic aids or video cameras required - such didn’t even exist. And I’m sure they didn’t miss out on a darn thing.

I’ve been dancing for my husband long long long before we ever bought a camera.

No technology required.

The mind is the most erotic organ in the body.

But we have it, and we use it - and it’s great fun.

Sarah x

 

[Tyrion]

It is interesting that even members of the Supreme Court (and they are not stupid) were unable to define what “porn” is. One person’s disgusting “pr0n” is another’s mildly interesting display of love. To confuse erotic messages with “pornography” is very sad.

 

[LilyM]

I don’t equate them with fun and youth. And my mind is the most erotic organ in my body. I’ll be as ‘young’ when I’m 60 because as I am now, because of my mind and personality regardless of what physical shape I’m in.

No.

I don’t make smutty videos.

I dance for my husband.

And I don’t know what else, if anything, people are missing out on, because I don’t live their lives, and I don’t expect them to live mine.

I’m enjoying my youth - how others enjoy theirs is entirely up to them and nothing to do with me.

I never commented on anyone else.

You did.

And riding, and diving, and paragliding, and traveling, and camping, and hunting, and building businesses and on and on it goes … and all with my family!

So not synonyms at all.

One teeny tiny aspect of my love life with my husband.

Nothing more.

Nothing less.

There appears to be no end to your judgementalism.

I’ve been dancing for my husband long long long before we ever bought a camera.

No technology required.

The mind is the most erotic organ in the body.

But we have it, and we use it - and it’s great fun.

Sarah x

It’s a video made for purposes of sexual arousal. It’s smut.

As for your kind being the most erotic organ - well you sure aren’t sending him videos of your mind, are you? Nor is the content of those videos, from what you’ve said, anything more than simulations of what you physically do pre- or during sex. No brain work involved in that.

By the way - if paragliding and all those other things are so wonderfully fun and youthful why aren’t you posting threads about them - people on here do discuss things they enjoy like sports, films, music and books y’know - or indeed sending videos of yourself doing them to him?

 

[vera_dicere]

There’s a lot responses, here’s mine, probably reiterating what others have already said:

One, it could lead your husband to masturbation. A mortal sin, thus endangering his soul.

Two, it could cause him to begin to view you as an object, offending your dignity and his.

Three, it could lead to stirring lustful feelings in your husband, also a grave sin.

Four, it could lead to further porn use. What if he tires of your face and body on the screen? What if you’re not around, but the internet is? Too easy for him to succumb to temptation. And if you are giving him such an “adult” video then he may view that as you being okay with other porn.

Five, as others have said, the risk of the video ending up in the wrong hands. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard of people making adult films and photos and them ending up in the wrong hands. What if ten years from now he divorces you, then to spite you, shows your colleauges the footage?

Six, all sexual acts must be procreative and unitive, porn removes the procreative AND the unititve action is masturbation or even mutual masturbation and other sex acts are initiated from this video.

Seven, as an atheist, why do you care what the Catholic Church thinks? Are you looking into the faith?

 

[atheistgirl]

It’s a video made for purposes of sexual arousal. It’s smut.

Dancing for my husband and exciting him is not smut. It’s very sad some thing it is.

By the way - if paragliding and all those other things are so wonderfully fun and youthful why aren’t you posting threads about them - people on here do discuss things they enjoy like sports, films, music and books y’know - or indeed sending videos of yourself doing them to him?

This is the morality section.

I asked a relevant question for this section.

I predominantly come here to discuss and read religious moral and philosophical topics.

I used other forums for the action sports we all engage in and have posted plenty of video and pics there.

Oh my husband gets video of all the stuff we get up to when he’s away.

He also gets little treats

Sarah x

 

[atheistgirl]

Sex is a whole lot more important and meaningful.

Well, I guess for me, when you ask a question regarding the Church and it’s possible view on a particular matter you’ve shared pertaining to you and your husband, and, because of that question an elder on that faith based forum feels empowered and entitled to baseless:

1. Question your husband’s loyalty and faithfulness
2. Question your own self respect and dignity

and

1. Call you no better than a dog and a cow

…and all for making a video of you dancing for your husband, any remote notion of wanting to explore that particular faith more seriously or more deeply disappears because these issues and many more will arise again and again and again, and ones with much more serious content than making a simple video.

I suspect, in the long run, you’ve actually done me quite a favor and saved a lot of time and anguish.

Sarah x

 

[atheistgirl]

Seven, as an atheist, why do you care what the Catholic Church thinks? Are you looking into the faith?

I was interested in the perspective.

That’s all.

My question has been answered.

Now, I know I’m no better than a dog, a cow, have no self respect, and my husband’s faithfulness is questionable, because I make videos of me dancing for him when he’s away from home on business.

Thank goodness I never mentioned the uniforms



Sarah x

 

[BlueEyedLady]

It’s a video made for purposes of sexual arousal. It’s smut.

As for your kind being the most erotic organ - well you sure aren’t sending him videos of your mind, are you? Nor is the content of those videos, from what you’ve said, anything more than simulations of what you physically do pre- or during sex. No brain work involved in that.

By the way - if paragliding and all those other things are so wonderfully fun and youthful why aren’t you posting threads about them - people on here do discuss things they enjoy like sports, films, music and books y’know - or indeed sending videos of yourself doing them to him?

You have been downright uncharitable and cruel to the OP. Telling her that she’s no better than a cow or dog, telling her that her husband doesn’t love her for anything more than her body, telling her she doesn’t respect herself, and calling her a liar when she describes other fulfilling aspects of her marriage, and saying that it must all be about sex are presumptuous and downright horrible things to say.

The OP is clearly not a troll. She has a long history of posting interesting, respectful, and charitable things on this site and when she posts a question asking for a catholic theological perspective and you attack her, her husband, and their marriage, then you are the one that is out of line.

To the OP-I’ve been following this thread because I’d always kind of wondered the same thing. It disturbs me how easily so many people confuse enjoying an active and interesting sex life with basing your entire relationship on said sex life. I was hoping this thread would kind of clear that up, at least from a catholic perspective. I’m sorry for all the attacks you’ve gotten instead.

Actually, in my relationship porn is completely out of the picture. He knows how I feel about it and he knows how it would hurt me so he doesn’t do it, and neither do I. But that doesn’t mean we don’t enjoy each other. And contrary to what some believe that enjoyment makes us far less likely to pay attention to others. It draws us closer to each other, not to porn or anything else.

 

[LilyM]

You have been downright uncharitable and cruel to the OP. Telling her that she’s no better than a cow or dog, telling her that her husband doesn’t love her for anything more than her body, telling her she doesn’t respect herself, and calling her a liar when she describes other fulfilling aspects of her marriage, and saying that it must all be about sex are presumptuous and downright horrible things to say.

The OP is clearly not a troll. She has a long history of posting interesting, respectful, and charitable things on this site and when she posts a question asking for a catholic theological perspective and you attack her, her husband, and their marriage, then you are the one that is out of line.

To the OP-I’ve been following this thread because I’d always kind of wondered the same thing. It disturbs me how easily so many people confuse enjoying an active and interesting sex life with basing your entire relationship on said sex life. I was hoping this thread would kind of clear that up, at least from a catholic perspective. I’m sorry for all the attacks you’ve gotten instead.

Actually, in my relationship porn is completely out of the picture. He knows how I feel about it and he knows how it would hurt me so he doesn’t do it, and neither do I. But that doesn’t mean we don’t enjoy each other. And contrary to what some believe that enjoyment makes us far less likely to pay attention to others. It draws us closer to each other, not to porn or anything else.

Well, not believing in a God who created us leads to no other possible conclusion than that we ARE essentially just like all the other animals - and it should be no insult to either of you, dogs and cows are extremely capable and intelligent among animal kind.

There is, though, something very disingenuous about someone who so proudly and openly brands themselves as atheist saying ‘you stopped me exploring Christianity more deeply’ - AG clearly was already are very biased against it well before she even started this thread. And certainly indicated early on that she was not prepared to accept as valid any reasoning behind the idea that she might be even behaving in an imprudent fashion (which recording these videos most certainly is) let alone a morally wrong one.

The sentiment of ‘I was genuinely exploring’ is not one that rings true in AG’a case. Not that I by any means think she is a troll, just someone whose deeply rooted preconceptions put a real barrier in the way of meaningful understanding of a Cathokic point of view. And where the heck does the ‘Forum Elder’ come into it? I said nothing that could give the remotest impression that I was trying to pull rank in any fashion. I would have said exactly the same had I only had two or three posts on here.

 

[Michael_Francis]

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A number of posts have been removed due to a lack of charity and this thread is now closed.
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Some of you need to learn to answer with objective teachings of the Church without recriminations against a member for asking, regardless of their stated faith…or lack thereof.

If you cannot do so, then perhaps you need to reconsider whether to respond or not.