Adultery 2

[ajecphotos]

Oh and on this note about the STD’s my husband caught HPV, from the oh so faithful other woman who had stopped having sex with her husband months before starting the affair with my husband. Oh, she was tested and she was clear, ummm then again there is no test for HPV except the one that cause cervical cancer. Then, it was maybe my husband is messing around, I’m gonna make him get tested, off course he comes back clean, again, supposed to be clean as there is no symptoms for HPV unless you develop warts and that doesn’t always happen… Then it was oh, I got drunk one night and was raped by an ex, I don’t even remember it happening… mmmm, faithful to her affair partner much? Many STDs are asymptomatic, and well things like HPV are common and cannot really be tested for… BUT better safe than sorry!

Oh…but, what if one knows someone 100%? Do you think that is at all possible? Would you ask a prospective husband for full STD screening? Or would you be able to trust his word?

 

[ajecphotos]

The OP said:

“Oh, i see. So Adultery is caused by mental illness and brain tumours?”

Sometimes it is.

You might be a little young for this, but dementia sometimes also causes odd sexual acting-out and disinhibition. I have a great-uncle where the first sign of his dementia was that he was suddenly very uninhibited about hitting on waitresses (right in front of his wife, too), to the point where nobody in the family wanted to go out to dinner with him anymore.

If you are having some sort of brain issue, you will be last to know as it will affect your ability to perceive reality and your awareness of your own mental state.

Why not talk to your doctor (explain at least a little about your recent shenanigans) and get a full mental health evaluation?

You have a lot of stuff you need to talk to your doctor about. Don’t try to be your own health care provider.

Oh so you know my health history do you? Why are YOU trying to be MY health care provider then? I am 100% fit and healthy. Mentally and physically except for the massive scar on my Soul and Heart where i have betrayed God and My Wife!

Other than that i am fine. Thank you once again for being so caring towards me on here. Nice to know someone really cares God bless you

 

[Xantippe]

I was just looking this up, and apparently at least in the US there’s an unexplained explosion in STDs among the middle-aged and elderly:

webmd.com/healthy-aging/news/20120202/sex-and-elderly-std-risk-often-ignored

“The rate of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) has more than doubled among middle-aged adults and the elderly over the last decade, but the reasons for this are unclear.”

"According the CDC, close to 2,550 cases of syphilis were reported among adults between the ages of 45 and 65 in 2010 – up from around 900 cases in 2000.

And the number of reported chlamydia cases in the age group almost tripled, from around 6,700 in 2000 to 19,600 a decade later."

One factor I would think might be at work here is that the long-term monogamous may stop thinking about STDs. Also, there seem to be new STDs every decade or so, so older people may simply not know about all the new microscopic creepy crawlies. (I don’t think I had even heard of HPV until a few years back, and HPV actually kills people.)

 

[Xantippe]

Oh so you know my health history do you? Why are YOU trying to be MY health care provider then? I am 100% fit and healthy. Mentally and physically except for the massive scar on my Soul and Heart where i have betrayed God and My Wife!

Other than that i am fine. Thank you once again for being so caring towards me on here. Nice to know someone really cares God bless you

No, I’m not trying to be your doctor.

Go see YOUR doctor and talk about this stuff.

 

[ajecphotos]

I was just looking this up, and apparently at least in the US there’s an unexplained explosion in STDs among the middle-aged and elderly:

webmd.com/healthy-aging/news/20120202/sex-and-elderly-std-risk-often-ignored

“The rate of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) has more than doubled among middle-aged adults and the elderly over the last decade, but the reasons for this are unclear.”

"According the CDC, close to 2,550 cases of syphilis were reported among adults between the ages of 45 and 65 in 2010 – up from around 900 cases in 2000.

And the number of reported chlamydia cases in the age group almost tripled, from around 6,700 in 2000 to 19,600 a decade later."

One factor I would think might be at work here is that the long-term monogamous may stop thinking about STDs. Also, there seem to be new STDs every decade or so, so older people may simply not know about all the new microscopic creepy crawlies. (I don’t think I had even heard of HPV until a few years back, and HPV actually kills people.)

Have you got some type of fetish towards STDs? You seem to not be able to stop writing about it. I think you should seek medical help.

 

[Lou2U]

Oh…but, what if one knows someone 100%? Do you think that is at all possible? Would you ask a prospective husband for full STD screening? Or would you be able to trust his word?

I am not the poster you are responding to, but I thought I’d chime in:

If I had any reason to believe that my prospective husband had been sexually active before or during my relationship with them, then I absolutely would ask them for a full STD test. It’s only fair on my health to make sure they are 100% clean. Your wife cannot ask you to do this as you have not told her. This is why so many posters are asking you to make sure for her.

And I am not trying to sound nasty as this point OP, so don’t take it that way, but you do not know this woman 100%. Your own wife does not know you 100% - she does not know about the affair, does she? I am not trying to tell you that you should tell your wife, but I am trying to tell you that it is very doubtful you can know this woman 100%. I am sure there are things she has not told you; likewise, there are things you have not told your wife.

Lou

 

[ajecphotos]

No, I’m not trying to be your doctor.

Go see YOUR doctor and talk about this stuff.

Thank you but your advice has been read, digested and then regurgitated as it is unwanted but many thanks for taking the time to educate me. Cheers

 

[Maine52]

ajecphotos:
Not adultery, but rather the general tone of your posts and the way you are handling things. Jumping around from one priest to another, seemingly obsessed with whether you can still be an EMHC, saying you are completely remorseful but then justifying your behavior by talking about how you’ve had a rough patch in your marriage…those things.

 

[Maine52]

Oh…but, what if one knows someone 100%? Do you think that is at all possible? Would you ask a prospective husband for full STD screening? Or would you be able to trust his word?

Why can’t you just get tested?

 

[Lou2U]

Have you got some type of fetish towards STDs? You seem to not be able to stop writing about it. I think you should seek medical help.

Please do not make sarcastic comments towards other posters when they are trying to help you. You seem unable to grasp that you could have an STD and you seem unable to grasp that your wife’s health could be in danger as well as your own. If you do not like what someone has to say, then disregard it or respond with a polite, civil post.

Lou

 

[Maine52]

The OP said:

“Oh, i see. So Adultery is caused by mental illness and brain tumours?”

Sometimes it is.

You might be a little young for this, but dementia sometimes also causes odd sexual acting-out and disinhibition. I have a great-uncle where the first sign of his dementia was that he was suddenly very uninhibited about hitting on waitresses (right in front of his wife, too), to the point where nobody in the family wanted to go out to dinner with him anymore.

If you are having some sort of brain issue, you will be last to know as it will affect your ability to perceive reality and your awareness of your own mental state.

Why not talk to your doctor (explain at least a little about your recent shenanigans) and get a full mental health evaluation?

You have a lot of stuff you need to talk to your doctor about. Don’t try to be your own health care provider.

Yeah, I guess mental illnesses can also directly lead to adultery, too.

 

[ajecphotos]

I am not the poster you are responding to, but I thought I’d chime in:

If I had any reason to believe that my prospective husband had been sexually active before or during my relationship with them, then I absolutely would ask them for a full STD test. It’s only fair on my health to make sure they are 100% clean. Your wife cannot ask you to do this as you have not told her. This is why so many posters are asking you to make sure for her.

But, how would you know if he had had sexual relationships if he didnt tell you etc etc. If it was a matter of not trusting him then the relationship would be flawed from the outset!

And I am not trying to sound nasty as this point OP, so don’t take it that way, but you do not know this woman 100%. Your own wife does not know you 100% - she does not know about the affair, does she? I am not trying to tell you that you should tell your wife, but I am trying to tell you that it is very doubtful you can know this woman 100%. I am sure there are things she has not told you; likewise, there are things you have not told your wife.

**You dont know me, my wife or this other woman! I know them more than you! I do trust this other woman 100% without any doubt. Just like if you met MR RIGHT and you knew him through and through! You can doubt i know her but i really do know her.

Only one thing in my life that i have not told my wife. That is the topic of this thread. She otherwise knows me 100%.**

Lou

 

[ajecphotos]

Not adultery, but rather the general tone of your posts and the way you are handling things. Jumping around from one priest to another, seemingly obsessed with whether you can still be an EMHC, saying you are completely remorseful but then justifying your behavior by talking about how you’ve had a rough patch in your marriage…those things.

Nothing can justify the adultery and i have stated that. How people see my posts is different from the next. Yes, i know quite a few priests and i am lucky that i can call on them when in need. Being obsessed as you put it about being an EMHC is because to me, it a very important ministry to me and because of my stupidity i wanted to know if i had lost that ministry! Thank God for letting me continue to serve him! Thank you

 

[ajecphotos]

Why can’t you just get tested?

For what? Mental health, Brain Tumour? STD? Adultery?

Lots of things people saying i got on here

 

[ajecphotos]

Please do not make sarcastic comments towards other posters when they are trying to help you. You seem unable to grasp that you could have an STD and you seem unable to grasp that your wife’s health could be in danger as well as your own. If you do not like what someone has to say, then disregard it or respond with a polite, civil post.

**Sarcastic remarks! So, its ok for him to accuse me of having a mental illness, to have a brain tumour and to have STDs continually, post after post? I have asked him not to keep going on and on and on about these things but he continues knowing full well what my views are!

And some people on here dont seem to grasp that i know my health and my ex’s health a lot better than them!!

I am sorry if i upset anyone but its about time that other ‘Christians’ on here stopped hounding me on the same subject post after post!

Thank You

**

Lou

 

[pianistclare]

ajecphotos:
PLEASE do not bring Padre Pio into this, as a justification. He of, all people is likely weeping over this whole sordid thing.

 

[Lou2U]

But, how would you know if he had had sexual relationships if he didnt tell you etc etc. If it was a matter of not trusting him then the relationship would be flawed from the outset!

How would I know if he didn’t tell me? I wouldn’t, obviously. If I found out he could have an STD and he didn’t tell me? I would be furious, and I would make him get an STD test immediately.

It is not a matter of trust. It is a matter of “If you have been sexually active in a relationship before me, get an STD test, because I don’t know what you could have picked up”. Physical health is important. Mental health is important. Spiritual health is important. Why should sexual health be brushed under the rug with a simple “I trust you”?

You dont know me, my wife or this other woman! I know them more than you! I do trust this other woman 100% without any doubt.

I am not trying to tell you I know your wife and the other woman better than you. All I know about them is what you’ve told us on this thread. You’ve told us how “sexy” this other woman is, but that you’ve decided to commit to your wife. All I am suggesting is that this woman herself may not know id she has an STD, and you do not 100% know that she has an STD.

Just like if you met MR RIGHT and you knew him through and through! You can doubt i know her but i really do know her.

If I met Mr Right, it would be even more important for him to get checked.

Only one thing in my life that i have not told my wife. That is the topic of this thread. She otherwise knows me 100%.

Yes, this one thing that has so far created 16 pages of debating whether to tell your wife or not, and then why you should or should not get checked for an STD because of an affair that your wife didn’t know you had . I probably sound like a broken record at this point, but I don’t think you know this woman as well as you claim to.

ETA

Sarcastic remarks! So, its ok for him to accuse me of having a mental illness, to have a brain tumour and to have STDs continually, post after post? I have asked him not to keep going on and on and on about these things but he continues knowing full well what my views are!

And some people on here dont seem to grasp that i know my health and my ex’s health a lot better than them!!

I am sorry if i upset anyone but its about time that other ‘Christians’ on here stopped hounding me on the same subject post after post!

Thank You

I will admit in this post, I was sarcastic, and I apologise for that.

Your views on STD’s are simply that you don’t have them, but you don’t have any verification, which is why you are being ‘hounded’.

Just because people do not stop asking you about STD’s does not mean they deserve to be disrespected, by you implying they are less than Christian for doing so. I am sorry you feel pressured. If you dislike the responses you are getting, stop posting for a while and reflect on WHY you are receiving these posts.

Lou

 

[pianistclare]

ajecphotos:
“he” is a she. Not that it matters. People “hound” you? Really?
You keep posting !!!

Posting!!!
Posting!!!

You are trying, vehemently, to convince yourself.
I don’t think you believe those 4 priests at all.
That’s why you hunted for a second, a third, a fourth.
It’s pretty clear.
Hoosier Daddy is right.
Xantippe is right.
Bookcat is right.
LongingSoul is right.
IrishMom2 is right.

But keep telling us how swell everything is.
No need to thank me, btw.

 

[Maine52]

For what? Mental health, Brain Tumour? STD? Adultery?

Lots of things people saying i got on here

STD

 

[achingheart]

Oh…but, what if one knows someone 100%? Do you think that is at all possible? Would you ask a prospective husband for full STD screening? Or would you be able to trust his word?

My husband had a full set of test before we married and so did I. Why? because both of us were HONEST with each other about having had sex with someone else before meeting. As a matter of fact, where I am from a full set of STD testing is required by law to get married in the court house. You can do as you wish but you were unfaithful, deceitful, lying, so you cannot expect complete honesty from yourself or affair partner when you are keeping you wife in the dark about your actions, the least you could do for her is test to be 100% sure you are clean!

I am sorry but I don’t see how you can trust someone who not only betrayed her spouse but also her best friend. She is deceitful, obviously, just like you. I do not say this to be cruel but it is the truth. It does not mean you cannot or should not be forgiven but you should do 110% to ensure your wife’s health, just in case! ONCE would have been a mistake but you were involved more than once, so you both knew what you were doing.