To OP:
Here is my concerns with what all you have said about your relationship. Now, forgive me if I’ve missed anything, because I’ve just been reading bits and pieces of this thread.
You are Catholic and in order to marry this man, he will have to agree to an annulment process, etc. Will he do this? Probably not.
You are Catholic and the Church is against contraception, in fact, it is evil! Will he allow your marriage to be open to life? Probably not.
His has children. Only two, right? (sorry if I’m incorrect) … Then he has an ex-wife that you need to get to know. If you were to marry him, you would be very involved in their children’s life … You should meet the ex wife, talk to her. And yes, find out about their marriage. If your boyfriend will not allow this … then that’s a huge red flag!
There are a few more things that I would like to mention, but do not feel it’s my place to assume anything or say anything, as I haven’t read the entire thread and do not know you.
I am married to a non-catholic but I converted after our marriage. Our first marriage for both of us, no I’ve had no problems in that area. However, my dh doesn’t encourage the children to go to mass with me, he’s never been open to life, so I had a tubal, which I regret with all my heart (before my conversion). Anyway…
I do think you are setting yourself up for a heartache. Marrying a non catholic who’s never been married before, is willing to raise the children catholic and is open to life is much, much better! Again, I think this is a heartache waiting to happen. I would not encourage you to marry this man …
Civil marriage first to an atheist/agnostic who made fun of Catholic priests and their celibacy, civil marriage second to an Eastern Orthodox who frequented a virulently anti-Catholic EO Church. Some people just need a few good kicks in the stomach, to grow up. 