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Bonnie
Guest
Don’t. You’ll come across as crazy, vindictive, jealous, or all 3. If she’s as bad as you say, he’ll figure it out eventually. And you say “boy” - are both very young? Hopefully too young to get married.
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Bonnie
Guest
Then pray for both of them. Leave it in God’s hands. If you must talk to somebody, talk to your priest.
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KendraDZ1902
Guest
You think she is cold and evil now? Break up her relationship. Also, it seems pretty evil on your part to want to do such a thing. :twocents:
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Dorothy
Guest
It would be very helpful if you did not allow your sister to have such power over you. Pray for her, and don’t make yourself available to receive her abuse.
When people irritate me I find it helpful to meditate on what our Lord went through during his passion.
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KendraDZ1902
Guest
You ask for advice and then get upset when people give it? Maybe you shouldn’t ask for advice if your mind is already made up.
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wild_thing
Guest
Have you forgiven your sister for what she has done to you?
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KendraDZ1902
Guest
Well, be prepared for an icy cold, evil sister to be even more so. I can tell you that what you want to do to your sister was done to me, all hell would break loose. Do what you want.
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AnneElizabeth
Guest
Jesus says, do onto others as you would love to others to do for you.
Seems that you are compassionate and wanting to warn him, which in my opinion is good.
I’m not sure of a tactful way to do that, which I suppose might be why you are here asking- you need advice on how to go about doing this without it seeming (or being, we are human after all and can’t shut off all motives or emotions) vindictive. I was wondering if there was any one else in your family or other friends who think believe the same about your sister and agree with you on this matter… perhaps they would be able to say something. I think it would be better that way. … Someone not involved directly, but knows how she is like.
Honestly, if it were me, I would be VERY much appreciative that someone would have warned me. I would bet I would have my doubts at first, but at least it might open my eyes to look for what someone might be warning me about. A**lso remember to take in effect Jesus’ “do onto others” with your sister as well. ** We are supposed to do good to our enemies. Would breaking them up be good for her? I guess that is the strong variable here. Sometimes people can change. Maybe this young lad knows already what he is getting into?
Overall, I suppose that prayer and fasting is the best. I would enlist the help of some monastics in prayer over this matter.
Seems that you are compassionate and wanting to warn him, which in my opinion is good.
I’m not sure of a tactful way to do that, which I suppose might be why you are here asking- you need advice on how to go about doing this without it seeming (or being, we are human after all and can’t shut off all motives or emotions) vindictive. I was wondering if there was any one else in your family or other friends who think believe the same about your sister and agree with you on this matter… perhaps they would be able to say something. I think it would be better that way. … Someone not involved directly, but knows how she is like.
Honestly, if it were me, I would be VERY much appreciative that someone would have warned me. I would bet I would have my doubts at first, but at least it might open my eyes to look for what someone might be warning me about. A**lso remember to take in effect Jesus’ “do onto others” with your sister as well. ** We are supposed to do good to our enemies. Would breaking them up be good for her? I guess that is the strong variable here. Sometimes people can change. Maybe this young lad knows already what he is getting into?
Overall, I suppose that prayer and fasting is the best. I would enlist the help of some monastics in prayer over this matter.
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Lou2U
Guest
How to talk to him? Don’t.
It’s your sister’s relationship, not yours. There isn’t anything you can do. If you do tell this man, what do you think he will do? Leave her? What will you do if he ignores you? Tell him again and again and again until your arguments lose their credibility?
I am sorry your sister has hurt you. Truly, I am. Something similar happened to a friend of mine and I would not wish it to happen to anyone. But you have to back off.
Lou
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AnneElizabeth
Guest
We can’t fear doing right. If the OP stays away from doing things in a vindictive manner, or with a vindictive motivation (which she may not be able to do) and truly has concerns for this young man’s life, then her proceeding is not evil but a good. We must not be afraid of evil… or they will win. We must take a stand. This is charity.Well, be prepared for an icy cold, evil sister to be even more so. I can tell you that what you want to do to your sister was done to me, all hell would break loose. Do what you want.
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OraLabora
Guest
We only have one side of the story.
The advice to not butt in, is sound advice.
Better advice would be to try to forgive your sister, and move on.
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KendraDZ1902
Guest
I don’t think we know very much besides that her sister hurt her and she thinks her sister isn’t capable of loving. I’m not afraid of evil. I’m saying if someone purposely stuck their nose in my relationship wanting to break us up, that person would have no clue icy and evil I could be.
Again, she can do what she wants, but don’t be surprised if the Ice Queen banishes her to the frigid dungeon.
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pianistclare
Guest
I would make an appointment with a priest to talk.
You quit school because of your sister? And have been hurting for 10 years?
Time to let that go, and move on. Make up your mind to be happy. People can only hurt you if you allow it to overwhelm and fester within you. If you are depressed see a health professional as well. I know what I’m talking about. My late husband was really hurtful to me and our children. Truly forgiving him is the best thing I ever did.
You might want to place something in the Prayer Thread section and ask for prayers for the both of you, your sibling relationship, healing, and your personal peace.
God bless.
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benotagoat
Guest
Some people really are evil , although there can be two sides to the story . Maybe you’re not afraid of evil because you are used to it .
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benotagoat
Guest
You have not given enough information for people to be able to give you advice .
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Bonnie
Guest
You don’t trust God? He’s the only one is IS trustworthy!
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AnneElizabeth
Guest
Ok, So you are just warning her as to what to expect? I agree she would have to expect repercussions.
But I’m kind of confused, because it seems like you are excusing that you say you would be icy and evil to someone who would try to break up your relationship. ? That’s not a good thing. (If someone evil tried, I should have enough trust in God that He would cause Satan’s attempts to fail and thus still love God by loving the sinner.) So I am confused as to why you excuse it just because of what you would do, which is not a good thing and not what God wants us to do, difficult as that may be. I understand though you are just giving a good warning about real human emotions/behavior.
I’m not even sure the OP is trying to actually break up the relationship, although it would probably be taken as such. Warning someone is more like the scenario. (AND its entirely true we don’t know the entire story) There is a difference between trying to break up a relationship and just giving a warning to someone who may not suspect some lurking danger. He will ultimately make up his mind what he wants to do.
She can just warn him once, and that would be sufficient, however it probably is not going to go well for her. It is typical human behavior for people to want people to butt out though. No one likes meddling- like how Jesus told some people of their sins… they hated him for it, but it needed to be done for their sake. Sometimes it may not be prudent though.
Code:
OP, does anyone else that you know see your sister the same way as you do? Anyone who has seen first hand what you say she is capable of? If so, it may do you so good to try and discuss it with them a bit and share the same concerns you shared here.
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AnneElizabeth
Guest
We should, but WE have to do as well. Firstly, “do as He tells us”. It may be the the OP is feeling a niggling of the Holy Spirit to act on this in charity… we aren’t privy to that, but it could be. Sometimes we do have to let go and let God because it is prudent.
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AnneElizabeth
Guest
She* is *afraid of it, otherwise you would not lash out in manner identical to evil. Jesus didn’t fear it… he accepted it, went to the cross, and God won over it because of it.
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benotagoat
Guest
Excuse me ,but post 16 says otherwise .You have completely misread me .
Post 16, I find quite disturbing ,and your answer to her was correct .
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