Alcohol

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missme22 said:
I’m trying to get honest with myself and I’m wondering if I have a drinking problem. I don’t wake up and drink or anything but I have at least 2 glasses of wine a night. I was never a drinker but I started having wine because my husband did every night. Now he opens a bottle every night. I will drink alone, too. It’s usually to calm down and relax. I’ve tried curtailing it and I usually can. But it’s not easy. It doesn’t effect my work, and it’s not an “issue” but I know it’s not normal. What do you think?
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Using alcohol to achieve anything like calming down is a red flag. Also drinking alone. You have some possible tendencies toward alcoholism. If you wonder about having a drinking problem, you might. Try answering these questions honestly.

Questions to Answer
 
TheRealJuliane said:
Also drinking alone.
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I am not that knowledgeable about alcoholism, but why would drinking alone be bad? Presumably, one should be willing to do alone what one does with company; to do otherwise seems sort of pretentious to me.
 
Baelor said:
I am not that knowledgeable about alcoholism, but why would drinking alone be bad? Presumably, one should be willing to do alone what one does with company; to do otherwise seems sort of pretentious to me.
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Because it’s easier to fool yourself about, or lose track entirely of, how much you drink if there is no-one watching you do it. And so easier to overindulge.

And it also means that you’re not drinking to be sociable or anything, but because you personally feel deeply that you need alcohol to feel OK, even when alone.
 
I think Americans, in general, go way overboard and label almost all alcohol consumption problematic. Let’s be honest here. We drink to relax. We drink to lubricate social situations. We drink because it’s fun to be tipsy. We drink to lower our inhibitions. I do not think it is a problem. Here is what I do think is a problem, if they happen with any regularity:

-Your drinking makes you act like an ***. You embarrass yourself or others. You routinely regret things you do or say when you drink.

-Your drinking makes you sick. You have a hard time getting up the next morning, have headaches, or feel nauseated because of your drinking.

-Your drinking causes you to neglect your responsibilities - whether they be cleaning up the kitchen after the kids go to bed, or making it in to work on time the next day.

-You continue to drink after you already have a “buzz.”

-You cannot enjoy a social situation without alcohol.

-You make excuses to drink during inappropriate times.

-You hide your alcohol use from your spouse and friends.

If, after an honest look at yourself, you can really say that none of those applies to you - I think there is probably not a problem. Don’t overanalyze it. Enjoying alcohol and its effects does not make you a drunk. Sometimes after a long day with my kids, my salvation is a big glass of Cab!
 
Baelor said:
I am not that knowledgeable about alcoholism, but why would drinking alone be bad? Presumably, one should be willing to do alone what one does with company; to do otherwise seems sort of pretentious to me.
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Drinking is usually done socially. If you tend to drink when you are alone, you are likely using alcohol for reasons other than having a drink with dinner, for example. You can easily hide how much you drink if you do it when others are not present.
 
MaryHelene said:
I think Americans, in general, go way overboard and label almost all alcohol consumption problematic. Let’s be honest here. We drink to relax. We drink to lubricate social situations. We drink because it’s fun to be tipsy. We drink to lower our inhibitions. I do not think it is a problem. Here is what I do think is a problem, if they happen with any regularity:

-Your drinking makes you act like an ***. You embarrass yourself or others. You routinely regret things you do or say when you drink.

-Your drinking makes you sick. You have a hard time getting up the next morning, have headaches, or feel nauseated because of your drinking.

-Your drinking causes you to neglect your responsibilities - whether they be cleaning up the kitchen after the kids go to bed, or making it in to work on time the next day.

-You continue to drink after you already have a “buzz.”

-You cannot enjoy a social situation without alcohol.

-You make excuses to drink during inappropriate times.

-You hide your alcohol use from your spouse and friends.

If, after an honest look at yourself, you can really say that none of those applies to you - I think there is probably not a problem. Don’t overanalyze it. Enjoying alcohol and its effects does not make you a drunk. Sometimes after a long day with my kids, my salvation is a big glass of Cab!
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That’s a decent list, but continuing to drink after you have a “buzz” is just what alcohol does to the brain. By the time you have a buzz, your inhibitions are already loose so having more is just natural.

anyway, alcoholics can hide it from themselves or others unless they are the mean drunks or the falling-down and blacking out kind. So it’s really up to the person to determine if alcohol is being used in unhealthy ways.

I’m not an alcoholic, but I started to use alcohol to handle stress and negative emotions. That’s alcoholic behavior. I had to stop doing that. I also never get a buzz any more, which concerns me because it would seem that my body has learned to overcome the effects unless I drink heavily. I’m better when I don’t drink at all, but I can still have one or two drinks occasionally. Very occasionally.
 
LilyM said:
Because it’s easier to fool yourself about, or lose track entirely of, how much you drink if there is no-one watching you do it. And so easier to overindulge.

And it also means that you’re not drinking to be sociable or anything, but because you personally feel deeply that you need alcohol to feel OK, even when alone.
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TheRealJuliane said:
Drinking is usually done socially. If you tend to drink when you are alone, you are likely using alcohol for reasons other than having a drink with dinner, for example. You can easily hide how much you drink if you do it when others are not present.
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Thank you for your responses. I assumed that “drinking alone” included in moderation, but it seems that the assumption was that the drinking alone was not in moderation, so that clears it up.
 
Well, I decided to take the bull by the horns and do the Master Cleanse. It will surely kick me of my addictions. It’s hard, but it puts things in perspective. If anyone has done it… Please offer tips!
 
TheRealJuliane said:
Drinking is usually done socially. If you tend to drink when you are alone, you are likely using alcohol for reasons other than having a drink with dinner, for example. You can easily hide how much you drink if you do it when others are not present.
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OR, you could just be enjoying a glass of wine while watching a good movie. Not everything has to be scruntized to the nth degree. Some people CAN enjoy drinking wine alone.
 
PatriceA said:
OR, you could just be enjoying a glass of wine while watching a good movie. Not everything has to be scruntized to the nth degree. Some people CAN enjoy drinking wine alone.
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Sure, but those people aren’t posting questions on CAF wondering if they have a problem.
 
missme22 said:
Well, I decided to take the bull by the horns and do the Master Cleanse. It will surely kick me of my addictions. It’s hard, but it puts things in perspective. If anyone has done it… Please offer tips!
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If you think you’re an alcoholic, “problem drinker” or whatever you choose to label it, please see your physician, who can help you determine if you do have a true addiction and get you in touch with community and medical/mental health resources to help you.

I’ve know any number of alcoholics in my time - not two-glasses-of-wine-with-dinner drinkers - but hardcore, lost-the-house-career-marriage-dog drunks. I’m related to most of them. None of them got or stayed dry from doing a “cleanse.” A couple of them required hospitalization to detox, my brother detoxed in jail after his umpteenth DUI arrest, and all of them work a program (AA or something similar) to stay dry.

Luna
 
TheRealJuliane said:
Sure, but those people aren’t posting questions on CAF wondering if they have a problem.
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CAF is the one place where I take the question “is this wrong?” with a grain of salt. We have people here who actually examine their consciences on a regular basis, and that makes it possible to err in the other direction, something that isn’t happening quite so much in the secular world.

I’d say drinking alone isn’t a problem, but drinking in secret is. If you’re leaving your empty wine glass and the wine bottle out where anyone could see it, if it never occurs to you to hide how much you’re drinking, that is a good sign. Likewise, drinking to celebrate is not a bad sign, but not being able to celebrate unless you have some alcohol is.

Drinking when you’re feeling down…hey, alcohol is a depressant. Wrong medication. Don’t do it. Find some other way to relax and unwind until you’re feeling better.
 
EasterJoy said:
CAF is the one place where I take the question “is this wrong?” with a grain of salt. We have people here who actually examine their consciences on a regular basis, and that makes it possible to err in the other direction, something that isn’t happening quite so much in the secular world.

I’d say drinking alone isn’t a problem, but drinking in secret is. If you’re leaving your empty wine glass and the wine bottle out where anyone could see it, if it never occurs to you to hide how much you’re drinking, that is a good sign. Likewise, drinking to celebrate is not a bad sign, but not being able to celebrate unless you have some alcohol is.

Drinking when you’re feeling down…hey, alcohol is a depressant. Wrong medication. Don’t do it. Find some other way to relax and unwind until you’re feeling better.
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Good point. We do look inward more intensely than many folks “out there” in the world. 🙂

Drinking to deal with emotions or stress is a horrible idea and an indication that one’s tools for living are not very useful. At first, it seems to help and then the depression can snowball and leave one in a very bad situation. For me, with chronic depression, it’s a VERY bad idea to drink when I am feeling down or stressed. It’s God I need to turn to, not a bottle.
 
TheRealJuliane said:
It’s God I need to turn to, not a bottle.
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And do not forget that Christ took on flesh and put other human beings in the Body of Christ for a reason. Find a good friend, someone you can see and hear in the flesh if that is at all possible, and just spend time with them. Nothing against us here online, but it isn’t the same.
 
To those who think drinking is a sin, Cardnail Dolan (he is a riot!) on a town hall meeting on Sirius’ Catholic Channel:
I love beer.
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Favorite beer: Budwesier
 
missme22 said:
I’m trying to get honest with myself and I’m wondering if I have a drinking problem. I don’t wake up and drink or anything but I have at least 2 glasses of wine a night. I was never a drinker but I started having wine because my husband did every night. Now he opens a bottle every night. I will drink alone, too. It’s usually to calm down and relax. I’ve tried curtailing it and I usually can. But it’s not easy. It doesn’t effect my work, and it’s not an “issue” but I know it’s not normal. What do you think?
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:angel1:God bless you, missme22. You are a smart person:tiphat::clapping: to consider your own individual reaction to alcohol. Two glasses of wine a day (with a meal) may be fine for one person, but for another, or for one unable to go without it, I would have a concern. ❤️

As a family member of someone who died of alcoholism, I applaud your even questioning the right amounts and how you react to your own use of alcohol. This is such an individual thing, of course, so I would never judge another person. It’s not whether you enjoy those two glasses of wine…it’s whether you could stop anytime you wanted and feel calm. As a few others have replied, that is a good test. :grouphug:

The person in my family who had a severe drinking problem began with just a glass or two to “relax” and then it escalated over the years. This does not mean everyone will do that. And there are many people whose health is enhanced with a glass of wine after dinner. Some people seem genetically prone to alcoholism, and so it’s good to know one’s own limits.

I have been, all my life, a teetotaler, because of seeing someone I love destroyed by alcohol. Again, that’s just my experience. I found this interesting link below, comparing, country by country rates of alcohol - related illness. Literally, it is quite sobering, seeing the U.S. near the top.
nationmaster.com/graph/mor_alc_liv_dis-mortality-alcoholic-liver-disease

Some individuals simply enjoy a few glasses of wine each day with a meal, as they do in Europe. If everyone simply did that, in moderation and with proper nutrition, there would be fewer instances of alcoholism. From my own observations, I have to say that of all the people I know who drink, more than a few could not enjoy themselves at a party without alcohol, and the amount consumed often seems to be excessive. Slurred speech, loss of inhibition, etc. Again, all this is very individual.:signofcross:
**
I’m hoping this is something you feel comfortable talking about with your trusted physician.
It’s always good to get things out in the open**. :clapping:

Love and prayers,:heaven:
Kathryn Ann
 
thetruth0flife said:
I think that you should replace the wine with something more fresh or a diferent kind of habit to relax.

You can relax by listening to diferent kinds of music or simply taking a walk down some near park. It’s up to you. Peace.
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**

:angel1:Great idea! Music and walking are very relaxing and healthy habits.:christmastree1: And for something fresh to drink, I happen to love :heart:pure white tea, which comes in many flavors, :flowers:or a white:flowers: tea with fresh ginger root.
I brew it myself :nun1:for iced tea as well. :harp:
:heaven:Kathryn Ann**
 
Seems fine to me. If you can cut back alittle, or stop when you want, you do not have a problem. If you cannot… it means that you do not want to for some reason, and you need to figure out why. If you really want to stop or cut back, you will. No excuses such as “I want to but I cant.” I had a alcohol problem in the past, but have learned to control it.

Do not listen to any fanatical twelve steppers on the matter. Not all, but most see everyone as a potential alcoholic and saying that you think you might have a problem will only make them try to convince you that you need to go to alcoholics anonymous. A non fanatical a.a. member might say that maybe you do not need a.a. A fanatical one will say that you have a disease and that you need a.a. or you may die from alcoholism 🤷

You can control your drinking by yourself and with prayer. Believe me, I know.
 
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