E
Elisabethelisa
Guest
My question is weird?? Your reply is weirder.
Anyways.
- Status
Anyways.
A
AlTheCollegeGal
Guest
:rotfl:
C
Cathrien
Guest
Green Flag:
- Handsome
- Loyal
- Open minded
- Honest
- Caring
Red Flag: - Fake
- Proud
- Careless
- Extravagant
I
itullian
Guest
green
Catholic
same values
intelligent
sense of humor
thoughtful, caring
a good heart
can be my best friend
feminine, loves being a woman
red
not Catholic
different values
self centered
Catholic
same values
intelligent
sense of humor
thoughtful, caring
a good heart
can be my best friend
feminine, loves being a woman
red
not Catholic
different values
self centered
J
Jala
Guest
Green flag:
I’m not willing to compromise anything about my current lifestyle. I’ve earned that right.
Jala
- Compassionate
- Great sense of humor
- Feminist (yes, men too can believe in equality for women)
- Non-smoker
- Vegan
- Understands that my children ALWAYS come first. FOREVER.
- Sleeps in another room; my pet pig sleeps with me and that ain’t gonna change
- Devout in any faith, as long as it doesn’t violate any of the items listed above
- Not meeting any of the above criteria 100%
I’m not willing to compromise anything about my current lifestyle. I’ve earned that right.Jala
C
celtic_catholic_1
Guest
!!!:ehh::hypno:Green flag:
Red flag:
- Compassionate
- Great sense of humor
- Feminist (yes, men too can believe in equality for women)
- Non-smoker
- Vegan
- Understands that my children ALWAYS come first. FOREVER.
- Sleeps in another room; my pet pig sleeps with me and that ain’t gonna change
- Devout in any faith, as long as it doesn’t violate any of the items listed above
You see why I don’t even bother looking?
- Not meeting any of the above criteria 100%
Jala
:bigyikes: 
Sleeping with a pet pig? Did I just read that correctly?
I
itullian
Guest
i believe so.!!!:ehh::hypno:
I
iwillrisenow
Guest
J
Jala
Guest
Yes, indeed you did. I have a pet pig, he is a housepet, and he sleeps in my bed with me.!!!:ehh::hypno:
Pigs are only “unclean” to eat. They’re actually very clean (externally speaking) and highly intelligent.
Jala
S
ShanaA1984
Guest
I forgot 2 red flags for me:
Pushy and controling behavior
Pushy and controling behavior
C
Crescentinus
Guest
Green flags:
- Catholic (devoutly and follows the Church teachings)
- Respects my interests
- Sane
- Loyal
- Open-minded
- Understanding
- Honest
- Caring
- Shorter than me (It would be awkward if otherwise.)
- Looks like a woman (But not obsessed with fashion trends.)
- Feminine
- Shares the same values as me
- Intelligent
- Has a sense of humor
- Creative
- Resourceful
- Financially responsible (My first ex-girlfriend was financially irresponsible. I cannot divulge the details here in public. PM me for details.)
- Fun to be around (Not to be confused with bar-hopping women!)
- Does not dress a la Jersey Shore (Asides from it being alien to my people’s culture, it’s also not beautiful.)
- Chaste
- Anti-Catholic
- Disrespectful
- Crazy
- Perverted (Sexually and otherwise.)
- Liberal-progressive (American liberal-progressive values are alien to my people’s culture. Seeing as the former is invading my culture, I cannot stress this enough!)
- Shoves views down my throat
- An idiot (What can I say? Stupidity is hardly a beautiful trait!)
- Looks like a dude (Yes, there are women who look like dudes!)
- Not a heterosexual (I do not want to date a bisexual again. I am also not attracted to lesbians. Come at me, homosexualists!)
- Radical feminist (as opposed to other forms)
- Self-centered
- Controlling
- Homosexualist
- Unfaithful (Seeing as I’ve had two of my ex-girlfriends cheated on me, I do not want that to happen to me again!)
- Ashamed of her femininity
C
Crescentinus
Guest
Disclaimer: Before anyone decides to report my list, feel free to discuss it in this thread.
C
Cathrien
Guest
That’s what i think about it, What you think, please give your ideas and recommendations about the topic,
aged care tweed heads
C
chevalier
Guest
Okay, I apologise in advance for the verbosity. I’m not presuming that what I have to say is worth the time needed to readed to read this block of text but I can’t really make it more concise without losing the meaning.
I’m always drawn to the grande dame, tall but not towering, slender shoulders, sharp and somewhat ascetic facial features, dignified palms, somewhat of a proud bearing, meaningful gaze, relatively long hair (shoulder blades or so), some magnanimity and a no-nonsense way of ignoring small inconveniences. Especially some natural kindness and goodness, beyond the letter of minimal politeness.
I hesitate to go through “such and such offends me” because I don’t want to make anyone feel less than appreciated as a fellow Christian being due to sharing a similarity with what I should list, but I believe the following deserve pointing out:
– vulgarity, especially in connection with views on or experience of love and sexuality;
– rudeness;
– cynicism taken too far (everybody lies etc.) or being too uncritical in accepting gossip and conspiracy theories (especially about the Catholic Church);
– a feeling of (social) superiority (due to being female, or otherwise)–this is where traditional upbringing can sometimes go wrong (this includes the “all men are swine” but there is more variety);
– too much of a “rights” attitude, an unfortunate by-product of more modern, democratic societies (“I’m a free person and you’ve got to put up with my decisions” type of act);
– letting it show that she has somewhat low regard of me (e.g. the “yeah, whatever” act, things that would be considered insults 100 years ago when polite circles were more polite);
– showing low regard or priority, e.g. how strong or trivial the reasons are for turning down invitations, changing plans etc., whether she volunteers an alternative proposal or not in such a situation.
I wouldn’t like to go into specifics because that could be somewhat uncharitable but let’s say I appreciate it when she:
– keeps promises, apologises and states a reason when forgot or unable (both of which are human and not a problem);
– isn’t above volunteering a reason for her actions, even if she doesn’t owe me one (I very much appreciated how a certain when a girl in my past narrowed it down to “a female friend” or “business matters” whenever she mentioned that she was seeing someone);
– will adjust her schedule, make accommodations, ignore or suffer minor inconveniences (e.g. dance with me despite a minor headache, go out despite non-ideal weather, keep walking when a little tired, stay up a little) and will not leave early or cancel out for such reasons;
– isn’t above conveying in words (or otherwise) some positive things (as opposed to a girl who won’t say anything good about you).
I’m always drawn to the grande dame, tall but not towering, slender shoulders, sharp and somewhat ascetic facial features, dignified palms, somewhat of a proud bearing, meaningful gaze, relatively long hair (shoulder blades or so), some magnanimity and a no-nonsense way of ignoring small inconveniences. Especially some natural kindness and goodness, beyond the letter of minimal politeness.
I hesitate to go through “such and such offends me” because I don’t want to make anyone feel less than appreciated as a fellow Christian being due to sharing a similarity with what I should list, but I believe the following deserve pointing out:
– vulgarity, especially in connection with views on or experience of love and sexuality;
– rudeness;
– cynicism taken too far (everybody lies etc.) or being too uncritical in accepting gossip and conspiracy theories (especially about the Catholic Church);
– a feeling of (social) superiority (due to being female, or otherwise)–this is where traditional upbringing can sometimes go wrong (this includes the “all men are swine” but there is more variety);
– too much of a “rights” attitude, an unfortunate by-product of more modern, democratic societies (“I’m a free person and you’ve got to put up with my decisions” type of act);
– letting it show that she has somewhat low regard of me (e.g. the “yeah, whatever” act, things that would be considered insults 100 years ago when polite circles were more polite);
– showing low regard or priority, e.g. how strong or trivial the reasons are for turning down invitations, changing plans etc., whether she volunteers an alternative proposal or not in such a situation.
I wouldn’t like to go into specifics because that could be somewhat uncharitable but let’s say I appreciate it when she:
– keeps promises, apologises and states a reason when forgot or unable (both of which are human and not a problem);
– isn’t above volunteering a reason for her actions, even if she doesn’t owe me one (I very much appreciated how a certain when a girl in my past narrowed it down to “a female friend” or “business matters” whenever she mentioned that she was seeing someone);
– will adjust her schedule, make accommodations, ignore or suffer minor inconveniences (e.g. dance with me despite a minor headache, go out despite non-ideal weather, keep walking when a little tired, stay up a little) and will not leave early or cancel out for such reasons;
– isn’t above conveying in words (or otherwise) some positive things (as opposed to a girl who won’t say anything good about you).
C
chevalier
Guest
This will be controversial and I don’t want to offend anyone but since “controlling” has been mentioned and it’s something I’ve given a lot of thought to, I’d like to say that, as much as “controlling” can appear on the deal-breaker lists of the ladies, focusing too much on the issue does appear on my own list of red flags as a man.
This because I admittedly have somewhat short patience and deficient understanding for people who feel the need to manifest their independence by making and asserting decisions that they theoretically have a right to make, but which hurt others. Such as a woman who goes on flirting with other guys just because she has the right to. Cancels a meeting and gives me no explanation because she doesn’t owe me one. Will wear whatever she wants regardless what I might think of it (even if she knew, while I generally don’t speak unless asked, save in extreme cases when I’m concerned for the reputation or safety of someone oblivious whom I care for). Or generally goes on acting like a single when no longer really being one, disappearing from the radar, using excuses that are obvious fakes etc. Like I said, I have short patience for that type of thing, and not a very long one for more trivial things that hint in the same direction.
Due to the above, I might be put on the same level with guys who creep into e-mail boxes, steal mobile phones to read text messages, peek into correspondence, make 20 calls a day asking who are you with etc. This is another face of the “controlling” issue in my book.
I’ve even seen a chastity speaker label a young man as controlling for making basically any sort of comment (short of affirmation perhaps) on whatever a girl’s wearing. The world’s going in the wrong place. Healthy marriages and relationships are not supposed to be based on unconditional affirmation of a partner’s decisions and actions by the other partner.
Anybody remember the “yes girl” cliché? That’s what men are expected to act like nowadays.
Also, disagreeing on teachings about sexuality is on my no-no list. I don’t even mean a person who’s not been catechised much or in contact with faith or practice (which can perhaps be rectified more easily), but especially when a well catechised person chooses to have a dissenting opinion (not only about these teachings anyway).
To sum up, apart form things like looks etc., regarding how a person acts, what I register on the plus side is being kind, polite, accommodating, not contrarian or fussy, not too spoiled, finding and making time and readily making accommodations, having regard for my opinion and consideration for my feelings, not anything of the “bad girl” nonsense. Tends to win my respect and appreciation and move my heart, all of which are essential things. On the other hand, impoliteness, rudeness, “me first”, being quick to judge, call names and insult people, makes a short work of any relationship prospect.
This because I admittedly have somewhat short patience and deficient understanding for people who feel the need to manifest their independence by making and asserting decisions that they theoretically have a right to make, but which hurt others. Such as a woman who goes on flirting with other guys just because she has the right to. Cancels a meeting and gives me no explanation because she doesn’t owe me one. Will wear whatever she wants regardless what I might think of it (even if she knew, while I generally don’t speak unless asked, save in extreme cases when I’m concerned for the reputation or safety of someone oblivious whom I care for). Or generally goes on acting like a single when no longer really being one, disappearing from the radar, using excuses that are obvious fakes etc. Like I said, I have short patience for that type of thing, and not a very long one for more trivial things that hint in the same direction.
Due to the above, I might be put on the same level with guys who creep into e-mail boxes, steal mobile phones to read text messages, peek into correspondence, make 20 calls a day asking who are you with etc. This is another face of the “controlling” issue in my book.
I’ve even seen a chastity speaker label a young man as controlling for making basically any sort of comment (short of affirmation perhaps) on whatever a girl’s wearing. The world’s going in the wrong place. Healthy marriages and relationships are not supposed to be based on unconditional affirmation of a partner’s decisions and actions by the other partner.
Anybody remember the “yes girl” cliché? That’s what men are expected to act like nowadays.
Also, disagreeing on teachings about sexuality is on my no-no list. I don’t even mean a person who’s not been catechised much or in contact with faith or practice (which can perhaps be rectified more easily), but especially when a well catechised person chooses to have a dissenting opinion (not only about these teachings anyway).
To sum up, apart form things like looks etc., regarding how a person acts, what I register on the plus side is being kind, polite, accommodating, not contrarian or fussy, not too spoiled, finding and making time and readily making accommodations, having regard for my opinion and consideration for my feelings, not anything of the “bad girl” nonsense. Tends to win my respect and appreciation and move my heart, all of which are essential things. On the other hand, impoliteness, rudeness, “me first”, being quick to judge, call names and insult people, makes a short work of any relationship prospect.
D
Dale_M
Guest
Yes, all very true. Pigs need love too, just like dogs or cats.
Okay, my green flags:
Catholic
Interested in working toward social justice
Easy going
My red flags:
Opposed to volunteerism
Wouldn’t want to live with two cats (they’ll sleep in bed, too, somewhere
)Enjoys cable news or talk radio
L
Lost_Wanderer
Guest
I’ll start with what turns me off:
- Noisy
- Nagging
- Strongheaded
- Arrogant
- Ill-tempered
- High-maintenance
- Chatty
- Irreligious
- Bossy
- Self-righteous
- … and anything that reminds of the Dumb Beverly Hills Blonde stereotype
- Quiet
- Timid
- Shy
- Religious
- Kind
- Naive
- Obedient
- Soft-spoken
- Gullible
- Religious
- Trusting
- Faithful
- …basically anything that has Ingenue written all over her.
C
Crescentinus
Guest
Your standards are saner than mine.
L
lerapt78
Guest
Green Light:
- Christian, preferably Catholic
- Confident
- Treats everyone courteously, but is extra gracious to the elderly
- Respects authority
- On the dominant side (more of a leader than a follower)
- Intellectual
- Analytical
- Cool-headed
- Not afraid to argue a point, but can do so in a calm manner
- Handy around the house
- Financially responsible
- Takes pleasure in simple things
- Has a healthy appetite
- Physically affectionate (doesn’t have to *initiate , but doesn’t mind if I *do
) - Appreciative of simple gestures/favors
- Doesn’t get along with parents/siblings
- Poor work ethic
- Large amount of frivolous debt
- Thinks strip clubs and pornography are harmless
- Abuses alcohol
- Has a child from a past relationship and does not provide financial and/or emotional support for him/her
- History of infidelity
- Never accepts responsibility for any wrong-doing and/or cannot apologize
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sw85
Guest
Things I like/appreciate in a woman… in general, holiness. Openness to homeschooling and housewifing (housewifery?). Femininity in general, which to my mind includes domesticity, actually looking and dressing and behaving like a woman, personal warmth, etc. I prefer a woman who is at least moderately above-average in terms of intelligence so she can keep up with me, but I would much rather have a very good/kind woman than a very mart one (having once chosen the latter over the former and wound up bitterly disappointed).I saw this question on CM back when I tried online dating…and I thought it would be interesting to post it here too. So…
1- What turns you on in your quest of Mr or Mrs Right?
2- What turns you off?
It’s time to be honest y’all.
Turn offs… careerism, criticism/negative-nancyism, coldness, selfishness, liberalism, heterodoxy, physical dumpiness, testiness, lack of femininity, and lack of affection (this being a sure sign that she will be ungenerous as a wife).
- Status