Am I going to hell because I told god I hated him

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Rosie11

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My mom died from cancer she was so devout she died while the divine mercy was playing beside her we all took of our rosary’s and bracelets and put them on her she has holy bracelets up to her elbows and a ton of rosary’s around her neck she was so afraid of dying she wanted to live so much she went to all the holy shrines we all prayed so hard and yet god didn’t heal her she was a good woman there was so much I didn’t get to say the guilt I feel for all the times I told her i hated her or for all the times I acted like a spoiled brat crying for things I didn’t need while she was in so much pain because of the cancer I wish I could go back in time and just be the best daughter ever god took away my chance to show her how much I loved her I didn’t mean all the times I told her I hated her he took my mother she was so good he heals people who don’t even believe in him and yet he wouldn’t heal her when she had so much faith he let her suffer so much the cancer spread through her entire body there where bumps all over her legs and head and sometimes she was stay awake crying rubbing her legs and using the heat from a hair dryer to try and take away the pain why would god do that to her why would he want us all to watch her waste away into a skeleton my heart hurts so much I can barely breath when she died I told him I hated him and the worst part is I don’t even feel sorry
 
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You’re not going to hell. You’re going through a lot, it’s an emotionally intense time. Sometimes we lash out. Pray for forgiveness and healing. Seek God’s pardon and peace in confession and the Eucharist. Know that the Lord is with you in your struggles. He experienced great pain and suffering and grief so that we could be consoled in knowing he is with us when we experience those things.

You are in my prayers.

-Fr ACEGC
 
Hey sweetie lost my mother to lung cancer in September. You are still grieving and your Heavenly Father understands this. Just as your mother knew you didn’t really hate her, so much more does God our Father. God chose to take your mother in this way and he did with mine. I have to remember that he suffered with us all throughout and also some of purgatory can start in this life. Eventually you will know why but in the mean time you are loved, mother loves you and God loves you most of all. Message me if you want to talk about it xxx
 
I got a lot of comfort in thinking that we are united with Christ in this world most of all when we are suffering it’s hard though. My dad is suffering a lot after losing her and he has dementia, yesterday was very hard but I just remembered Jesus is here with us and I got a very clear feeling that I should stay at the table as dad was grieving and being ill as I wanted to get up and go so I stayed tried to help him
 
I’m so sorry for your loss and pain and I’ll remember you in my prayers. :pray:t2:
Okay…

In a general sense, “hate” is a strong word, and it’s not a great idea to go flinging that word around…
OTOH, sometimes we say things in the heat of the moment, especially when we’re in the middle of tremendous pain, that we wouldn’t say in a moment of clarity.
Right after your mom died was not a moment of clarity.
At the same time, it’s okay to tell God when you’re sad or mad—half the psalms are people angry and sad and scared and telling God all about it.
Please don’t complicate your grief by focusing on something you said when you were filled with grief.
Go to confession, talk to the priest…🙂
But also, please make sure you’re taking care of yourself— that you have a real life emotional support system, you’re getting enough sleep, eating nutritious food, getting outside for fresh air and sunshine and exercize.
God isn’t out there lying in wait playing “gotcha”.

Many hugs.
 
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Don’t focus on the past you cannot change it. Grieve but focus on what you can do now that is positive and can bring you peace.
 
God did heal her. He brought her home to heaven. Can you blame him for taking her to heaven to be with him? She doesn’t have to struggle and fight any more.

I am so very sorry for your loss.
 
Hey! My youth group had a night about this recently. They talked to us about why God allows bad things to happen. The lady described it to us like this: when it’s dark out, it’s not the sun that is causing it to be dark, it’s that there’s something in between us and the sun. They told us that thing between us and God is sin. They basically said that when Adam and Eve first took the bite out of the apple, that knocked everything “out of wack”. Our peaceful harmony with God was changed. So please, don’t blame God. He still loves you. He isn’t just waiting for you to embrace Him. He is doing everything He can to reach out to you. At the end of the day, it comes down to your free will. Hug him back. I know it has to be hard to do, but He’s craving desperately for you to love Him back. Let’s all pray for your mother’s soul, and the Reconciliation between you and God. Remember: God didn’t do this to your Mom, sin just got in the way, through no fault of her own, it would seem. It’s okay to be mad and/or sad. It shows that the love between you and your mother was real.
 
I will pray for her soul and for you and your family. This can not be easy:pray:t3::pray:t3::pray:t3:
 
My faith in him has truly been shattered in my opinion he took her I know he’s a very busy man but he created the world it wouldn’t of taken much for him to heal her he took the only person I loved I struggle with ptsd I can’t bond with people the only one who I loved was my mother now I don’t love anyone not my father not my brothers or my sisters i don’t feel happy I don’t feel sad I just feel empty emotionless I’ve cried all my tears my eyes are burning she will be the last person I’ll ever cry for I’ll never grieve for someone again
 
Praying for your mother, your family and especially for you that you will find peace. 🙏
 
We have psychology and psychiatry.
I mean, I find that spiritual direction is not enough for some. Psychological direction/counseling might be needed at certain times. I go to both but then I have a diagnosis. But I guess you can still get help from psychology without a diagnosis.

I dont know but…telling God that you are afraid is good. In loosing someone you migjht be afraid.
 
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I’m so very sorry for what you’ve gone through & what you’re still going through. It’s hard to find any words that might help. I’ll pray for you.

If you like reading, a book called A Grief Observed by C S Lewis might be helpful.

Don’t lose faith in God. He loves you very much & understands everything.
 
Great advice so far. I would add only to investigate Him until “god” becomes “GOD” in your heart and in your life. Once you understand that this life is about love - and nothing else, you can accept God’s plan even if you do not understand or agree with it.
 
I’m so sorry. I felt very similar to you in that way in that not close to dad and brother. Since she passed away I have become closer to them - and maybe this was why God allowed her to go first. Perhaps this may be what’s happening with Yr situation . Be kind to yourself and take it one moment at a time. Keep eating and gentle exercise, baths , treats and go to Church. Xxx
 
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Many, many hugs, dear.
And prayers for your consolation.
How long ago did this happen?

The death of a parent is one of the most painful thing to ever go through.
Do you have real world people you can cry with?
You will have better days. But you need help right now.

:cry:❤️:pray:t2:
 
Rosie11 said:
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Unless it is revealed by God, nobody knows with certainty if a particular person is damned.

Catechism
1855 Mortal sin destroys charity in the heart of man by a grave violation of God’s law; it turns man away from God, who is his ultimate end and his beatitude, by preferring an inferior good to him. …
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1856 Mortal sin, by attacking the vital principle within us - that is, charity - necessitates a new initiative of God’s mercy and a conversion of heart which is normally accomplished within the setting of the sacrament of reconciliation: …
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1857 For a sin to be mortal , three conditions must together be met: “Mortal sin is sin whose object is grave matter and which is also committed with full knowledge and deliberate consent.”
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1861 Mortal sin is a radical possibility of human freedom, as is love itself. It results in the loss of charity and the privation of sanctifying grace, that is, of the state of grace. If it is not redeemed by repentance and God’s forgiveness, it causes exclusion from Christ’s kingdom and the eternal death of hell, for our freedom has the power to make choices for ever, with no turning back. However, although we can judge that an act is in itself a grave offense, we must entrust judgment of persons to the justice and mercy of God.
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