How does merit have nothing to do with it, with what you describe? You say it yourself, “you turn toward or away” you say. This turning is the act of merit, and this turning toward or away, what ever circumstances it took place in, be it those of pygmy in Africa or the Pope, will be what is on the scale. so I don’t see your point here.
Merit, reward, recognition, recompense, et. cetera and the antonyms penalty, punishment, retribution, price et. cetera are all terms used to conceptualize human worthiness or value.
Rather than associating heaven with our value or worthiness, I sometimes think of heaven as a simple law of nature like gravity. For instance, we don’t say that a penny dropped from a building is rewarded, or earned, or merits the fall to the earth. A penny dropped will fall. Similarly, if you choose God, you get God. It’s not a deal, a contract, or any agreement God offers us. It’s just the truth. If you choose God you get him. Just as if you choose to jump in a pool, you get wet. You are not rewarded with wetness, it is a natural consequence of your choice.
Thankfully we do not have to merit God’s presence because none of us are meritorious. But such is God’s love for us that he shows us mercy in our sinfulness.
For me, understanding heaven and hell was a matter of perspective. When I worshipped myself more than God, when I was the center of the universe, hell seemed a mighty unfair concept to me for reasons nearly identical to those you list above. When I submitted to the Lord, that feeling went away.
For me, I think much of my earlier thinking, though couched in philosophical thoughts and concern for others (how could a loving God do this to his creations?), was really all about ME. At the heart, and I never thought about it much, was the following: “You mean I have to give up my own personal desires, feelings, and pleasures and follow your will to get to Heaven?” At the time I was having too much fun and too busy to give my life to the Lord, but I always thought that someday, maybe when I retired, I’d give some time to God. Seemed pretty unfair to me that if I died before I got around to doing some work for God, then I’d go to hell. Especially, because I considered myself a pretty good citizen. I guess I wanted to get to heaven on my own terms. One of the pretexts I used to rationalize my state of being was that God, if he existed, was unfair, so it was ok for me to do my own thing.
Interestingly, now that I’ve submitted to the Lord, I consider myself LESS WORTHY of heaven (but more likely to get there, I hope and pray). I feel less worthy because I now see and admit my sinful nature which is still with me each and every day. Looking back I don’t feel it would have been unfair for me to go to hell in my state before accepting the Lord. By putting primary importance on myself, all I wanted was ME and that’s all I had. My separation from God was a simple fact.
In his mercy, while I was alive, God acted in ways to bring ME to choose him. He did not force me to do it, but I believe he did things to assist me to see the light. Seems to me that it is logical that the act of faith and trust in God can only be made while we are on earth because it is the only time we can act and make choices.
For me, God also provides meaning to life. Without him, there was no meaning, other than my own happiness, that I could determine (and I believe that no one has been able to explain any meaning absent something greater than our individual desires). Now, the essence of life is pretty simple to me: it is the chance to choose and know God and thereafter do your best to serve him.
We live in a fallen and corrupted world. That’s what the bible explains at the very beginning. Our society tempts people to follow a path of superficial self-happiness. Of course, that is nothing new, it is the story of man. Society says that Christians live in a fairly tale kingdom ruled by a mean and vengeful god. Rather than accept this fairly tale, society begs us to enter a sensual, pleasure dome with no limits, meaning, or consequence. Let us shine as a light for those living in darkness.