An upsetting experience at Mass

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Ophelia23

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At Mass this morning, my 2 year old was being relatively well behaved. We had to step out with her once because she started throwing a fit about something, but otherwise it was a good Mass. She had her soft puppy toy to play with. She quietly was playing by herself. And then THIS happened.

At the peace offering, the woman in front of us turned around. She took my little girl’s hand (fine) she got close to my daughter’s face (awkward) and said in gruff voice “Peace, you little turd. Now be quiet.”

:eek:

NOTHING about this seemed like a joke or like she was trying to be playful. It took me a second to even register what had just happened! My daughter was stunned by it, too. After the woman turned around, my daughter sat startled and then started crying. I was SO upset. I wanted to tell that woman how entirely out of line she was for being so aggressive with my child. I wouldn’t and couldn’t cause a scene at Mass. But the mama bear in me RAGED with this.

I feel so strongly that we should raise our children to see the Mass as a time for worship. If she is acting up, I will step out with her. I calm her down, we go back in. Wash, rinse, repeat. But I am not going to take her out with every little noise she makes, or every time she wiggles or accidentally drops something. I feel like we are One Body in this Church, and that includes children.

Rant over. Thanks. 🙂
 
That’s completely out of line. I hope that woman didn’t receive communion. You just don’t treat people like that. We’ve gotten dirty looks from people who hate to hear any peep out of the future of our Church, but for the most part we tend to get compliments.

We did go to Mass a few times at a parish in another state where there were NO children at Mass. Now that was freaky. There we were with six or seven kids at the time, and they were the only kids in the church. We felt like aliens, and we didn’t feel very welcome.

All you can really do is pray for that woman, and make sure you don’t sit near her. If it were me, and I found my family seated near her, either because she sat there or there was nowhere else to sit, I would tell her before Mass started that I don’t want her speaking to my children. If she has an issue with their behavior, she can speak to ME after Mass is done with.
 
Wow, unbelievable! How horrible for you!

Very sorry this happened, the rudeness of some people astounds me daily…

Honestly, even if your daughter had been screaming the place down (and I know she wasn’t), there is just no excuse for saying something like that.
 
Oh, that’s AWFUL! I completely agree with you that children need to see the Mass and are part of the Body of the Church. You have every reason to be upset!
 
Talk about classless. And if the lady was upset about a 2 year old being a 2 year old, she should have said something to you afterwards, not your kid. Talk about a cowardly way to express an annoyance. :eek:
 
:eek:

Yikes! Who calls a two-year-old a “turd”? Maybe the woman in question has tourette’s syndrome and has and uncontrolable impulse to say everything she thinks? Maybe she was drunk? I can’t imagine any normal person saying something like that to a baby! (Maybe a school aged child…maybe.)
 
As a father of four who are now grown (22, 20, 20, & 18) I actually enjoy sitting behind families with young children. I get a smile on my face when I’m reminded of the “good old days”. 😃
 
Ophelia23 said:
…At the peace offering, the woman in front of us turned around. She took my little girl’s hand (fine) she got close to my daughter’s face (awkward) and said in gruff voice “Peace, you little turd. Now be quiet.”

:eek:
…
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I’m with you. :eek:

The woman was completely out of line and clueless. Apparently, she knows nothing about 2-year olds.
stormcloud said:
As a father of four who are now grown (22, 20, 20, & 18) I actually enjoy sitting behind families with young children. I get a smile on my face when I’m reminded of the “good old days”. 😃
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Me too. I always enjoy complimenting a couple on their beautiful family. I suspect when a Mom and Dad are busy taking care of busy, wiggly, active little children and make efforts to keep them quiet in Mass and still sometimes get negative comments anyway, it can be discouraging. I love to see their faces light up when they hear something nice about their lovely family instead.
 
I would have been furious, too, and probably not been strong enough in my faith to demonstrate your restraint.

I’m guessing she has not been blessed with children.
 
That was terrible of that woman to say this, especially since it sounds like you try and keep her as quiet as possible. I agree taking children to Mass, but sometimes if they’re too fussy, a lot of parishes have “cry rooms”. I hope if you see this woman again you tell her how upset her remark was both to you and your child. I really enjoy seeing small children. Sometimes they’re more attentive then some adults!
 
I should be more specific. I smile because of the antics of the youngsters. Later, I reassure the parents as someone who’s “been there, done that”.
 
I attend Latin Mass which, inevitably, has a large contingent of young couples with many children. I’m so delighted to see Catholic with big families that I pay no attention to the occasional noisy child. God bless their parents for bringing them to Church!

Now fine dining establishments are another matter altogether. 🙂
 
I would have followed her out after mass and called her out on it. But that’s just the Sicilian in me. 😉
 
From your description, I wonder if that woman might be suffering from some sort of mental illness. Strokes and alzheimer’s, among other things, can cause erratic and uncensored behavior. Definitely pray for this woman, and tend to your daughter’s tender heart as well. You could even tell her that we’re going to pray for that woman who said mean words to her at mass. Teachable moment that could help heal both your hearts.

Yeah, and I’m a mama bear too and probably wouldn’t have hesitated to speak up right then and there. Of course, we have confession available right after mass, so… :rolleyes:

God bless you and your family.

Gertie
 
WOW!!! I am so sorry for you and your daughter having to go through that. How dare she treat a child that way! >:( She is in serious need of prayer, that’s for sure!
 
Yeah, and I’m a mama bear too and probably wouldn’t have hesitated to speak up right then and there. Of course, we have confession available right after mass, so…
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LOL.
 
Ophelia23-
WOW! Just WOW! :eek:
I would drop a line to your pastor and relay this information to him,
even if you are unsure about “naming names”, I still think he should be alerted to the situation.
Unwelcoming attitudes like this really need to be addressed from the pulpit- IMHO.
CatholicFireman said:
I would have followed her out after mass and called her out on it. But that’s just the Sicilian in me. 😉
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@ CF- yeah, me too! :o:p
Must be my Calabrian roots!!
 
Seriously, I have to wonder if that woman has a fully grasp on her faculties. That is not only outrageous, it is incredibly odd.
 
As others have said previously, I believe you should pray for this woman. Her actions were callous and uncalled for. And while I do find the young children of my parish to be distracting at times (more of my own inability to focus than their restlessness), I do not believe that warrants them from being taken out of Mass or to be treated in the way the woman treated your daughter. Hopefully, this does not happen to you or your family again.
 
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