Anger issues, anger issues

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JoeShlabotnik

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Brothers and Sisters of the CAF Forum, I struggle at times with anger issues.
I allow the stress and anxieties from life get me.
Frustration leads to tension. Tension leads to rising blood pressure. And then like a volcano, I sometimes erupt šŸŒ‹
What do you, who like me, have a short fuse do to quiet that anger that sometimes bubbles up from within?
I need your suggestions and I need your prayers. šŸ™šŸ™šŸ™
Thank you in advance! šŸ˜‡
 
You need not answer, but are you political? I ask because I used to be and I was never happy. Too polarizing and 50% of the time your party is out. Constantly frustrated and often angry.

Saint Jerome was known for an ill temper. I would ask for his intercession, as He has been there and done that.

My recipƩ for peace: More faith, less politics.
 
Think before you react - will this still matter in five years?

When you feel the anger building up, get it out your system. Walk away from what is angering you, do some exercise or focus on something thatā€™ll make you laugh. Identify what your triggers to anger are and work out ways to manage or avoid them.
 
I had one person who somehow frequently pushed my buttons whenever we discussed things especially religion.

So one time in confession, the confessor told me to pray ā€œLord, make me a calm and gentle personā€ whenever my thoughts were negative regarding this person or I gave into the temptation to ruminate over past conversations, to say this prayer. I also for a period of time, used to just say it often throughout the day. Prayed for you. šŸ™
 
Itā€™s not just political. People cut me off in traffic. Family matters. Listening to people gossip about others. Costs of stuff. You name it.
But I will take your suggestion to pray moreā€¦faith! Thanks
 
May I suggest I PM you a Catholic app that you can use to ask fellow catholics to pray for you and if youā€™d like you can pray for other catholics?šŸ™‚
  1. Advice - Look up saints who had a problem with anger.
    Ask for their prayers.
  2. Pray for yourself about your anger. Theres the rosary for example or just small prayers for yourself too. Thereā€™s fasting too, but talk to a priest about that and see a Dr first.
  3. Donā€™t forget to walk away when you can and cool off somewhere alone when youā€™re angered.
  4. Get prayers for your anger.
  5. If needed consider seeing a counselor.
 
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Identify what triggers your anger and make changes. Replace bad habits with good habits. Pray for patience and self restraint. I used to get angry all the time especially in ā€˜discussionsā€™ with people. Now I have inner peace but it was a long process to get there.
 
I began doing the daily examination of conscience and if I notice I spent too long grumbling or being resentful about something I put it on the list to mention in confession. And also doing confession every week or two instead of every month or so. This causes me to be more aware that the anger is growing before it gets out of hand. This has worked better for me than anything else in the last 25 years.
 
JoeShlabotnik said:
What do you, who like me, have a short fuse do to quiet that anger that sometimes bubbles up from within?
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I have adopted Saint Fiacre as my patron saint, and when I deal with people who cause my temper to rise, I say, ā€œSaint Fiacre, help me.ā€
 
I myself was prone to flying of the handle. Most of the time for really trivial reasons.
I found studying the lives of the Saints very enriching. There is not enough time nor space to give a proper accounting of all the adversities that many overcame. I particularly find words from Saint Padre Pio to help.
ā€œDonā€™t spend your energies on things that generate worry, anxiety and anguish. Only one thing is necessary: Lift up your spirit, and love God.ā€
In those times I find myself in need I look to the sky and quietly recite a Hail Mary.
 
I canā€™t provide you with a definite solution, I can only assure you that you are in no way alone in your struggles.

I am right there with you.
 
Our Blessed Mother, given to us at the foot of the Cross, is a great intercessor.

My suggestion is to start praying the rosary every day. You can start with one decade a day, and work your way up to a full rosary. Thinking of the mysteries while you say the Hail Mary prayers is a key part of the rosary.

Peace and all good!
 
Once, one of my confessions was filled with anger and frustration issues. And this is the only time Iā€™ve ever had a priest take notes while I confessed. At the end, he handed me an index card which said, ā€œYour penance: Ephesians 4:29-32.ā€ Whenever I feel these emotions creeping up, I read those verses. Ephesians 4:26 is also a favorite of mine.
 
I notice on here but moreso on twitter how the liberal left seems to be angry and intolerant but I think for Faithful Catholics that we should not avoid politics as it is a part of spiritual warfare. The battle lines are pretty clear with the liberal democratic party at odds with the life teachings of Jesus as depicted in the five Catholic non negotiables and attacking religious liberty.
 
I had to train myself: when people cut me off, I immediately ask myself if I have also done that. Of course, the answer is ā€œyes.ā€ It is far easier to forgive when one realizes his own rudeness, disrespect and sinfulness.

As to everything else, the serenity prayer is brilliant. We get our undergarments in a bunch over things that oftentimes do not affect us and over which we have no control! That is cause only to pray - unless there is some other way to help and if help is indeed wanted.

Indeed, we easily fall prey to the urge to be more upset about something that occurred to someone else than they themselves are. I attended a class with a Japanese-American woman. Her parents had been interned during WWII. She was angry and bitter over that - even though it had occurred 50 years before and absolutely nothing could change it.

I asked her what her parents thought of it. She replied that they had chosen to move on with life and put it in the past. I asked her: if they have relegated it to the past, why canā€™t you? Itā€™s eating you up - like you are still interned and they are not!

This shook her up and she then reflected on her attitude. She sent me a letter thanking me for taking note of what she was essentially doing to herself. And, so it is with much of life. If I helped her to let go, both of us were blessed.

Now, as to anger. Per Fr. Wade Menezes of the Fathers of Mercy (an absolutely wonderful priest), teaches that the virtue which counters anger (wrath) is meekness. Our Lord was not even angry at those who murdered Him. They were absolutely forgiven, as He asked His Father to forgive them. I recall here that He is meek and humble of heart.

Do you have a copy of The Imitation of Christ by Thomas Ć” Kempis? A wonderful spiritual classic that teaches humility. When we are filled with self there is no room for the Holy Spirit to dwell in us. When we practice humility, it creates a ā€˜vacuum of selfā€™ into which the Holy Spirit will be more than glad to fill us. He comes only by invitation, but we must make room for him, as with any guest.

Anyway, I drag on, but these are lessons that I had to learn the hard way - and am still learning.
 
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I also have anger issues similar to what youā€™re describing. If you are exploding with rage constantly that means youā€™re already full to the brim with anger and the small incidents are just boiling over.

I suggest getting in contact with a local monastery. I spent a considerable amount of time at a Servite Monistary and found the wisdom of the brothers to be advantages.
Many religious orders have a service where you can go in a talk to a priest for free. I find it cheaper and more wholsome than mental therapy or some religious neautral class room.
 
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