Anger issues, anger issues

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When our Lord was on the cross, he had the right to be angry with a lot of people; including us. We know he prayed forgive them Father, for they know not what they do.

Anger and forgiveness are both a choice, no one forces you to be angry, no one forces you to forgive.
 
Posts like this get me angry.
My grandmother used to say, if you can’t say something helpful, just stay silent.
We all know pretty much about your political stand on most issues.
Have a terrific day. I will pray for you.
 
I have been considering a retreat, but the only one offered at my parish is ACTS. I am not into that hand-clapping, singing and personal tribute stuff. That is not me.
 
I am happy to foregive. But forgetting, that is another story. 🙂
 
Consider that joe may be a Democrat - and he has every right to be - except that for a Catholic, there are aspects of either party that are cause for disappointment, if not anger. We hold to eternal truths and ideals. Politics places them up for sale to the highest bidder.

Yet, anger is a passion that is morally neutral. Unless unjustified. It is intended to motivate us to oppose evil - but we must be certain that what we are angry about is not our ego-driven preferences, but actual, objective evil.

So, we turn it over to God, make certain our consicences are well formed, and pray as we vote.
 
Ah, you say: Frustration leads to tension. Tension leads to rising blood pressure. And then like a volcano, I sometimes erupt 🌋

What you don’t say is this: Why am I frustrated?
Well, you’re frustrated because you have unrealistic expectations. Anger is the emotion we feel when we have the emotional sense that rightful expectations have been violated. It is not a bad emotion, but it will give us a lot of “false positives” if we feed our inner self with false expectations about how the world is going to revolve around treating us the way we would most like to be treated.

What would happen if you started your day accepting that you would have someone cut you off in traffic, and that it would be an opportunity to develop patience? What if you started your day accepting that you would hear people saying things they shouldn’t say, and using it to remind yourself to learn to control your own tongue? What if you started your day accepting that your sister says things she doesn’t mean because she speaks without thinking, your mother tries to meddle in your life because she hasn’t accepted that you are an adult, your brother makes promises he doesn’t keep because he hasn’t learned self-discipline? What if you decided to use the way you respond to faults you know they have in a way to gain mercy for yourself and your own faults, for “blessed are the merciful, for they will recieve mercy”? You might even learn to cut yourself a little slack and just openly apologize when you fail yourself!

Here’s the rule: When you’re wrong, apologize, even if you’re not the most wrong. Why? Two reasons: (1) it is pretty common for two people who have wronged each other to downplay their own offense so that both see the other as “most wrong” and (2) even if one really is most wrong, it is far easier for the less-wrong person to apologize than for the worst offender to do it. The worse of the two mutual offenders will often be encouraged to drop defensiveness and apologize if the person who wronged them does it first. The main thing is reconcilation, after all, not accessing blame to three digits of accuracy!

Don’t try to “not be angry.” You can’t “not be” something. Try to positively be something that is opposed to eruptions of anger: that is, try to cultivate a merciful spirit and the virtue of long-suffering.

When you apologize, use the formula that puts the apology LAST and one that invites feedback, so it won’t be an excuse:
NOT: I’m sorry I blew up at you, but I had asked you to wait until I was finished.
BUT RATHER: I asked you to wait until I finished, but I am sorry I blew up at you. That wasn’t OK. I had other ways to ask you to give me a little more time. I hope you will forgive me. I will try to do better next time. Are you OK? Do you have anything you want to suggest?
 
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yankeesouth said:
I notice on here but moreso on twitter how the liberal left seems to be angry and intolerant but I think for Faithful Catholics that we should not avoid politics as it is a part of spiritual warfare. The battle lines are pretty clear with the liberal democratic party at odds with the life teachings of Jesus as depicted in the five Catholic non negotiables and attacking religious liberty.
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I think the OP is correct in seeing that eruptions of anger are also among the “Catholic non-negotiables”! There are well-meaning people in every political part of the spectrum. There are angry people in every part of the political spectrum. There is plenty of anger and intolerance and unbridled tongues to go around. Few of us have the jurisdiction to correct others. We all have the duty to correct ourselves, and to be open about our need to correct ourselves first, right? From the plain meaning of the red letters, that is a non-negotiable for every one of us.

@Tolle_Lege has already cited Ephesians 4, which is an excellent passage illustrating them.
Here is another:
Put to death, then, the parts of you that are earthly: immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and the greed that is idolatry. Because of these the wrath of God is coming upon the disobedient. By these you too once conducted yourselves, when you lived in that way. But now you must put them all away: anger, fury, malice, slander, and obscene language out of your mouths. Stop lying to one another, since you have taken off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed, for knowledge, in the image of its creator. Col 3:5-10

For those who are tempted to unacceptable behavior by using Twitter or Facebook or whatever, then it is good to avoid those as personal near occasions of sin. The Pope has a Twitter account, but not everyone is strong enough to use those platforms without regularly falling into unacceptable behaviors.
 
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Confess holding grudges if you are holding grudges.

A good prayer is, “Forgive them Lord for they know not what they do”.
Another good prayer is, “Forgive us Lord for we know not what we do”.

Don’t associate or associate less with people who give you anger problems. Some people are like fuel for your anger. Write down 70x7 times that you forgive that person.

Realize that anger and impatience are two different things. Both can be confessed. Impatience is selfishness with your time.

Read the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew (cpt. six if I remember). It contains the Lord’s words on anger.
 
No it’s clear how Catholics should vote. And it ain’t with the liberal left democratic party’s political ideology of abortion (now with new and improved infanticide), selling baby body parts, redefinition of marriage, euthanasia…uh ‘disappointments’. Throw in the ‘disappointment’ of losing religious liberty to the point of not even being able to proclaim the teachings of Jesus (notice how quick I was told to keep silent) the battle lines are very clear.
 
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First and foremost, I appreciate your words.
I always take responsibility for my mistakes. I never blame others.
When people gossip, I try not to listen. But when I know they are saying something wrong about someone who deserves better, it does make me angry.
Cutting me off in traffic is wrong. It is a reaction when it happens and hard to contain the snap reaction at the time.
 
I am not a grudge holder. I forgive. But I don’t forget.
And I go confess my anger.
I have asked to priest for things to help me be more patient. It is a process. Hopefully, I am getting there.
 
This I know well. I was far right for much of my life and profoundly unhappy. The faith has brought me to the logical center. Both parties have glaring faults, but one seems bent on rushing into the abyss.

In all things political, due to its very nature, great prudence is required.
 
You can confess impatience too as well as any type of selfishness.
 
I dislike the Democratic Party’s stand on abortion.
But I also dislike the Republican Party’s stand on social security, medicare, raising the minimum wage, tax cuts for the ultra-wealthy, instead of for the middle class (who could use some tax relief), involvement in foreign wars, etc.
I truly dislike Donald Trump. He reminds me of so many people I have known, from childhood to college days, to my present days. Not watching him on television helps alot.
 
JoeShlabotnik said:
First and foremost, I appreciate your words.
I always take responsibility for my mistakes. I never blame others.
When people gossip, I try not to listen. But when I know they are saying something wrong about someone who deserves better, it does make me angry.
Cutting me off in traffic is wrong. It is a reaction when it happens and hard to contain the snap reaction at the time.
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This is the thing–people do things that are wrong. It’s wrong, but they’re going to do it, sometimes because by honest mistake, sometimes they’re incompetent (don’t know better), sometimes because they’re oblivious, sometimes because they just don’t care.

Here is the other thing: You and I do the same. We unintentionally harm people. We want to be forgiven–no, we need to be forgiven, whether we ask for it or want it or not. Well, the place to start, from plain meaning of Our Lord’s own words, is to start with a forgiving attitude for the sins of others and go on to a willingness to accept mercy for ourselves that is predicated on that attitude.

You kind of must be blaming others for having annoying faults, because otherwise their faults wouldn’t make you angry. If you accepted that they have faults and that people with faults are a fact of life, you wouldn’t have that gut reaction of having had your expectations violated–do you see what I mean? If you drove with the expectation that other people will make mistakes or would drive in a self-absorbed or selfish way, it wouldn’t make you so angry. If you don’t actively cultivate that expectation in yourself, then you’ll have the expectation that other people will all drive with the care and competence that you do. When they don’t, you’ll feel anger. Of course you will, because if you are a careful driver yourself, that is not an unfair expectation.

Do you see, now that you think about it, though, that while that expectation is fair, this just is not realistic? The quality of the drivers where you live is going to be the same today and tomorrow as it was yesterday and has been since you started driving. Some are going to be decent and some will be bad and that’s reality.

The emotion of anger is a gift from God. It spurs us to act when we see an injustice. Our Lord was not wrong to clear the moneychangers out of the Temple. What we cannot do is to cultivate a set of expectations that can be predicted to provoke us to feel angry when anger is not going to help us to choose the right response to a situation. Does that make sense?
 
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Definitely pray, bless yourself when you feel that bubbling up. Continually keep in mind grave sins and crimes, and see that your anger never leads to sustained contemplation to do either. Consider that if ever your anger does lead you to contemplate committing crimes or grave sins, that it is not righteous anger, which is a good thing even the Apostles and our Lord felt, but sinful anger, the capital sin of wrath.
 
Dan_Defender said:
Identify what triggers your anger and make changes. Replace bad habits with good habits. Pray for patience and self restraint. I used to get angry all the time especially in ‘discussions’ with people. Now I have inner peace but it was a long process to get there.
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I could have written this 🙂
Just shows how many of us in the same boat.
I identify what triggers me and let it go over my head. I’m usually smiling thinking yay, I won
(Over myself)
 
If you are constantly carrying anger with you, it might help to talk to a professional about it. Think about the patterns of what triggers you. Explore what your deeper feelings are, things that have devastated you or guilted you tremendously earlier in time, and logically think your way through them, resolve them.

Prayerful meditation and humility will also be helpful.
 
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