Annulment is a Painful Process

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Loud-living-dogma said:
I found this:

Annulments in America: keeping bad news in context

80% of all presented.

Well, after all, our pontiff stated that a great majority of sacramental marriages are invalid.:roll_eyes:
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I need to repeat this:

It only reinforces the effectiveness of the pre-application screening.
 
I use the word IF they are aware of making an unworthy communion. There is no presumption they did so. Pre-printed pamphlets that outline an examination of conscience also make similar suggestions. Many people never consider that they may have taken communion unworthily. As a matter of fact, without intending to be presumptuous, I think we all need to consider that there may be lots of things we MAY have done that are sinful that we never considered to confess.
 
I have spoken lots with many priests.

I think I can honestly say I havent gained any understanding of Catholic Teaching from them.

I guess im pretty stupid…

Edit: actually, Fr. John Corapi helped alot!!
 
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I once knew a fellow seminarian who had two wallets. We were returning from a ministry assignment and riding together in a car and he stopped to buy gas. I noticed he payed from one wallet and put the change into a second wallet. When I asked him why, he said “One if for clean money and the other dirty money.” At first I though he was joking. Yet, he did have two wallets.

The same evening, I stopped by his room because I wanted his opinion on a philosophy question that had come up in class. When he answered the door, I could see I had interrupted him washing his money. Some was soaking in the sink. Some had already been laundered and was hanging on a clothesline he had strung across the room. He told me he had to wash some ot the money twice because he could not be sure it was really clean.

I think if we’re not careful, we can start doing this with our spiritual lives. We can forget that God freely offers his own life to us through the sacramental life of the Church and that he wants us to accept the gift. God’s grace is more than sufficient to cleanse the heart of the contrite sinner despite the imperfection of the contrition and our universal unworthiness. Let us never forget that. Indeed, who is really worthy of such a gift?
 
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Still doesn’t hurt to make a good examination of conscience and go to confession. I personally have many years of not going to confession to catch up on.
 
Elf01 said:
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FrancisPio:
Despite what you say, I believe having that annulment we’ll be a relief for both of you when you get it.
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If they both get it. I hate the assumption that annulments are guaranteed if they are applied for.
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Me too. But I also hate the assumption that all cases deserve an annullment.
 
Thanks. I had no idea what the number really was. My sample size is pretty small.
 
It is not a matter of who “deserves” an “annulment”.

Two people had a wedding. That wedding either resulted in a valid marriage or it did not. Without a time machine, the most deserving person cannot go back and change the event.
 
A decree of nullity is based on the consent at the wedding. That is it. It is not something that one can gain through merit, so, one cannot be “entitled” to anything other than a honest review of the consent.
 
Yes. Always. If they are free to marry, and baptized, their marriage is sacramental. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a religious ceremony or not. (Assuming they are not Orthodox)
 
I don’t see how they were confirmed in the church if a previous marriage hadn’t been declared null. It was at least one of the first two questions that were asked. By the way, my wife was Catholic, I was raised Baptist, and finally decided on my own to become Catholic after 28 years of marriage. Honestly, the time waiting for the answer on the annulment was spent with lots of prayer, and more reflection on the previous bad marriage (which was a slam dunk for annulment) and helped me to be much better prepared to come into the church. It isn’t all a bad thing, I grew in faith a lot during the time of waiting.
 
I understand all the ins and outs of the annulment process and the Church’s teachings on marriage. Even still, I have to say I find the whole concept of annulment to be so uncharitable. Rubbing salt in the wounds, so to say. So unnecessary. I am so sorry you are putting yourselves through this.

I realize there are plenty here who will jump all over me for my remark. Please don’t do that. I really did just want to express to the OP how sorry I am for them.
 
QwertyGirl said:
I understand all the ins and outs of the annulment process and the Church’s teachings on marriage. Even still, I have to say I find the whole concept of annulment to be so uncharitable. Rubbing salt in the wounds, so to say. So unnecessary. I am so sorry you are putting yourselves through this.

I realize there are plenty here who will jump all over me for my remark. Please don’t do that. I really did just want to express to the OP how sorry I am for them.
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That is a very good analogy. It is like rubbing salt in the wounds. I definitely prayed, but I can’t deny I wasn’t angry over the process and I didn’t find it healing. Even though I divorced when my now 38 year old son was 6, I think he does feel somewhat confused by what the annulment means. He has been through enough hurts in his life and so have I and
it was just another painful process to work through.
So I can understand what this couple is going through. Just shocking that they could have been Catholic for so long and were unaware about Catholicism and divorce and annulments. It is hard to find witnesses after such a long time also.
 
I am sorry that was your experience. I am never quite sure what the church believes it is accomplishing through this process. I don’t think Jesus would have approved of the methods or of the intentions. Seems like a way to extend the shaming a lot of people may feel from experiencing a failed relationship.
 
I found the process very shaming among many other things. Maybe if you had a lot of emotional support through the process from family and friends and the Church, the experience would be different. It was a lonely experience for me.
 
7_Sorrows said:
I found the process very shaming among many other things. Maybe if you had a lot of emotional support through the process from family and friends and the Church, the experience would be different. It was a lonely experience for me.
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Do you mind me asking why you went through with it? Are you able to compartmentalize it from the rest of your faith?
 
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