Anti Catholic Husband

[TheRealJuliane]

I see advice for you to be at Mass receiving the Sacraments, but if you are a Catholic in an invalid marriage you should seek the advice of a priest before receiving the Eucharist.

I’m pretty sure without either getting your marriage convalidated or getting a dispensation since your husband is now unwilling that you are in a state of mortal sin where you may not partake of the Eucharist. I’m not sure if just confessing this sin but not rectifying the status of the marriage is enough. Only a priest can really tell you.

Certainly continue to attend Mass regularly and seek the wisdom of a solid priest.

I’m sorry that your husband has let you down. With prayer, time and God anything is possible, so don’t give up hope.

Good catch. I didn’t see those posts to the OP. The other poster tagged onto her post and somewhat diverted it.

Anyone who has married outside of the Church and wants to return to the sacraments should see a priest FIRST. Anyone with an irregular situation, a marriage, etc. who wants to return to the sacraments should ALWAYS see a priest FIRST.

 

[AmesLouise]

I know exactly what you are going through. My husband made so many promises to me before and during the early years if our marriage and he drastically changed his beliefs from catholic to Muslim!!!
Everything changed when I gave birth to our third child, a son. He resulted back to his Muslim upbringing and demanded we all become Muslim. I seeked advice from a priest outside of my church and I continue to go to counseling with him twice a month.
Please know that you are not alone!!! A priest only has to have ONE parent willing to do everything in their power to baptize a child. I proceeded with baptizing my sweet baby boy and I told my husband he has two choices, one he can be there and pretend to enjoy the day or he can not be there and we will enjoy the day without him. My priest has also said that the children can all proceed with making all the sacraments and that there is no court of law that can tell you that you can’t.
I baptized my son on my own when he said no and I made it official when my son was 4 months old.
Oh… And by all means, stand your ground for what you believe, NEVER change to be someone that he wants you to be. Big hugs for you!

 

[Jacataqua]

Dear one,

One thing in your last post that has given me pause is how this behavior of your husband is inherited fro his father. Do you have children / sons? Have you considered how the interactions between you and your husband might effect them (and their future wives)? I have no words of wisdom to bestow on this subject…but it is something to be thought about…

Peace
James

Thanks for your post. You asked about having sons and I guess my answer also ties in with comments other’s have made. My life is very messed up. I do have two sons, one is 17 and the other is 18. My husband is actually my second husband and I’ve been married to him since the kids were 2 and 3. My first husband was very abusive and I divorced him. My first marriage was Catholic and I left my first husband and the Catholic Church at the same time because I couldn’t see how God could let the abuse happen and I was angry at God and angry at the Catholic Church for being so strict on marriage. I had two choices with my first marriage. I could leave my marriage and the church or I could kill myself to get away from my first husband. I decided to leave. I met my second husband and we were married in the Lutheran Church, so we do have a Christian marriage and I got permission from my bishop for the second marriage due to the fact that I had a previous marriage. My sons have been raised by my second husband, so they probably see what’s going on. As far as the other posts that stated that I should go to mass and the sacraments, I can’t because I live way out in the country and the nearest Catholic Church is about 40 minutes away and I don’t have a car. I wanted to get an annulmnet for my first marriage 9 years ago when I became interested in the Catholic Church, but my husband said no. If I do anything that he doesn’t want me to do and I do it behind his back he will find out. It’s strange how he always finds out. He sometimes says that one of his co-workers has seen me somewhere (on the rare times I am out without him) and one time he said his co-worker saw me give my friend Peter a hug. Pete is just a high school buddy, nothing more. I don’t see Pete very often, hardly ever really and when I do, I give him a hug. My husband said that isn’t a good idea because Pete’s wife might be upset. She wasn’t even there at the time and she has nothing to worry about anyway. I wonder why my husband’s co-workers seem to be following me? I did like the story about the guy and the boats. God doesn’t seem to be sending me any boats. God doesn’t send me anything at all right now. Maybe God doesn’t send me a boat because my husband would find out.

 

[JRKH]

Thanks for your post.

You are welcome. I hope that we are being an encouragement to you in some small way.

You asked about having sons and I guess my answer also ties in with comments other’s have made. My life is very messed up. I do have two sons, one is 17 and the other is 18.

OK - well they are practically grown then…If they are going to pick up bad habits from their step-dad then they probably already have.

My husband is actually my second husband and I’ve been married to him since the kids were 2 and 3. My first husband was very abusive and I divorced him. My first marriage was Catholic and I left my first husband and the Catholic Church at the same time because I couldn’t see how God could let the abuse happen and I was angry at God and angry at the Catholic Church for being so strict on marriage. I had two choices with my first marriage. I could leave my marriage and the church or I could kill myself to get away from my first husband. I decided to leave.

I can actually identify with this…not from personal experience, but through my wife. Her first marriage was abusive and she divorced him after 10 years and five children. She did not immediately leave the Church but did a few years later over some unrelated issues. She remained single for 25 years before she and I got married.

I met my second husband and we were married in the Lutheran Church, so we do have a Christian marriage and I got permission from my bishop for the second marriage due to the fact that I had a previous marriage. My sons have been raised by my second husband, so they probably see what’s going on.

Yes - I’m sure that your sons see what is going on…I just wonder what they make of it all. I’m not asking you to share…this is very private stuff and difficult to share through postings…so please don’t feel that I am prying.

As far as the other posts that stated that I should go to mass and the sacraments, I can’t because I live way out in the country and the nearest Catholic Church is about 40 minutes away and I don’t have a car. I wanted to get an annulmnet for my first marriage 9 years ago when I became interested in the Catholic Church, but my husband said no. If I do anything that he doesn’t want me to do and I do it behind his back he will find out. It’s strange how he always finds out. He sometimes says that one of his co-workers has seen me somewhere (on the rare times I am out without him) and one time he said his co-worker saw me give my friend Peter a hug. Pete is just a high school buddy, nothing more. I don’t see Pete very often, hardly ever really and when I do, I give him a hug. My husband said that isn’t a good idea because Pete’s wife might be upset. She wasn’t even there at the time and she has nothing to worry about anyway. I wonder why my husband’s co-workers seem to be following me? I did like the story about the guy and the boats. God doesn’t seem to be sending me any boats. God doesn’t send me anything at all right now. Maybe God doesn’t send me a boat because my husband would find out.

I have to say that, based on what you have written so far, it seems you are STILL in an abusive marriage. Abuse need not be physical, and in fact the vast majority of abuse is psychological and emotional…physical abuse generally only reenforces the other elements and they all boil down to the same thing - the need for control.
We can make no judgement on your husband…and it is not my intent to do so. I am merely commenting on things as you have presented them.
There seems to be an unhealthy level of control by your husband in this relationship. I can only hope that he has some other sterling qualities to make up for this…but I don’t know what they could be to entice you to live in such conditions.

Maybe God had not yet sent you a boat…but maybe through CAF he as sent you a lifeline to hold on to while he gets the boat ready.

Peace
James

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Thanks for your post. You asked about having sons and I guess my answer also ties in with comments other’s have made. My life is very messed up. I do have two sons, one is 17 and the other is 18. My husband is actually my second husband and I’ve been married to him since the kids were 2 and 3. My first husband was very abusive and I divorced him. My first marriage was Catholic and I left my first husband and the Catholic Church at the same time because I couldn’t see how God could let the abuse happen and I was angry at God and angry at the Catholic Church for being so strict on marriage. I had two choices with my first marriage. I could leave my marriage and the church or I could kill myself to get away from my first husband. I decided to leave. I met my second husband and we were married in the Lutheran Church, so we do have a Christian marriage and I got permission from my bishop for the second marriage due to the fact that I had a previous marriage. My sons have been raised by my second husband, so they probably see what’s going on. As far as the other posts that stated that I should go to mass and the sacraments, I can’t because I live way out in the country and the nearest Catholic Church is about 40 minutes away and I don’t have a car. I wanted to get an annulmnet for my first marriage 9 years ago when I became interested in the Catholic Church, but my husband said no. If I do anything that he doesn’t want me to do and I do it behind his back he will find out. It’s strange how he always finds out. He sometimes says that one of his co-workers has seen me somewhere (on the rare times I am out without him) and one time he said his co-worker saw me give my friend Peter a hug. Pete is just a high school buddy, nothing more. I don’t see Pete very often, hardly ever really and when I do, I give him a hug. My husband said that isn’t a good idea because Pete’s wife might be upset. She wasn’t even there at the time and she has nothing to worry about anyway. I wonder why my husband’s co-workers seem to be following me? I did like the story about the guy and the boats. God doesn’t seem to be sending me any boats. God doesn’t send me anything at all right now. Maybe God doesn’t send me a boat because my husband would find out.

I had an abusive boyfriend. He seemed almost psychic, but these abusers are just really good at keeping people under their control. I am sorry that you have accepted this kind of life. Your sons will have absorbed what their stepfather has been doing and also your passivity. After this long in an abusive relationship it would be hard for you to see a boat if it came your way. You will be in my prayers.

 

[JRKH]

I had an abusive boyfriend. He seemed almost psychic, but these abusers are just really good at keeping people under their control. I am sorry that you have accepted this kind of life. Your sons will have absorbed what their stepfather has been doing and also your passivity. After this long in an abusive relationship it would be hard for you to see a boat if it came your way. You will be in my prayers.

Agreed Juliane…That is why I think it important to point out that her finding CAF could be a “boat” of sorts…or as I referred to it…at least a lifeline that she can hold on to.

In regards to abusive relationships…they can be so easy to fall into - especially when one is stressed.
Jacataqua found herself divorced with two small boys - definitely a stressful time I’m sure. Then someone came along who was able to take charge, make her feel safe, willing to raise her sons etc. This can be no doubt be very attractive.
The problem only shows up later when one finds out that this willingness to “take charge” is really a need to control - and what appeared like a rescue was really a trap.

But again…we can only speak in general terms.
We cannot judge, or even assess, the husbands of either of these posters, “Jacataqua” or “1of10”.

Peace
James

 

[sedonaman]

Long story short. Married 7 years, 11 month old baby. Married a non Catholic and didn’t get married in the church. We agreed to get married in the church and I could raise our children Catholic. My husband has gradually become anti-Catholic. He has given lots of reasons for not getting married in the church and now has told me not to baptize our baby. I’ve lost all hope. I stopped attending church. I’m resentful towards him for this. It’s affecting every aspect of my feelings and attitude towards him. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m living a lie. I love my husband, but don’t know if I can go on feeling like this.

I know a lady who married a non-Catholic who made the same promises, including raising their children Catholic, but changed his mind later. She got an annulment based on his refusal to let her practice her religion. Your situation is a little different in that you were not married in the Church to begin with. You probably should seek advice from a priest.

 

[1of10]

I haven’t been able to respond. Thank you to everyone for your posts. It’s difficult for me to “lay down the law.” I grew up in a divided household. Mom is Catholic. Dad wasn’t; then converted; then became anti-Catholic. I grew up listening to all the fighting and backhanded remarks. It was a constant battle. Mom would pray our daily Catholic prayers with us. Dad would take every opportunity to have a non-Catholic/ anti-Catholic prayer or discussion with us. Mom would go out of town and dad would take us to a non-Catholic church. Mom would have ETWN on the TV. Dad would change it to a non-Catholic preaching channel…On and On. I feel very certain if I asserted myself and tried to hold my husband to his word it result in the same. I don’t want that for my child. I also feel like baptizing our son without my husband’s consent would further solidify the divide between us. I wouldn’t want him to do something like that to me. If I did that, it would only encourage him to do something similar; thus renewing the vicious cycle I lived through with my parents. (and still do)

I’ve agreed to try and find a church we can both live with, but the idea of my child going to non-Catholic religious classes makes me sick.

Needless to say, my dad is feeding some of the anti-Catholic sentiment, but he’s not entirely to blame.

I know the Church’s teachings on receiving the sacraments, so I haven’t received communion the entire time we’ve been married. I go up for a blessing. That’s it.

I don’t bring up my faith, because I don’t want a confrontation. When I did attend church and came home; my husband would ask, “what did you learn?” It was like a test. And I had a response everytime. He would say that the priests don’t preach. We all just sit there and listen to prayers and readings. I will admit I am defensive when anyone says anything negative or misinterprets church teachings. He’ll present these incorrect teachings to me and I try to correct him. His response is, “that’s not what they said.” As if, that person has more credibility or instruction that I did. Normally I respond to his snide remarks, such as saying, “there’s a Quackolic church,” by responding, “that’s not nice.”

Sometimes I feel like my faith will be what breaks us. And being divorced will only make raising my son as a Catholic that much more difficult.

 

[JRKH]

(Snip)

Sometimes I feel like my faith will be what breaks us. And being divorced will only make raising my son as a Catholic that much more difficult.

Your situation is very difficult and I agree that being divorced could make things difficult…But I’m not sure that they would make them “much more” difficult.

Part of raising your son means he is exposed to his father’s attitudes. He will be hearing “Quackolic church” and other snide remarks as he grows up. Is this the sort of “Christian male image” you want your son to pick up? Not to mention the fact that your husband belittles you in general…

If, as you say religion finally breaks the marriage there is little doubt but that a tribunal is going to find that it was not sacramental - and it is possible that this would be better for your son in the long run…

Of course this is all just opinion…Just thoughts that come and are shared…

May God guide you on this journey.

Peace
James

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Agreed Juliane…That is why I think it important to point out that her finding CAF could be a “boat” of sorts…or as I referred to it…at least a lifeline that she can hold on to.

In regards to abusive relationships…they can be so easy to fall into - especially when one is stressed.
Jacataqua found herself divorced with two small boys - definitely a stressful time I’m sure. Then someone came along who was able to take charge, make her feel safe, willing to raise her sons etc. This can be no doubt be very attractive.
The problem only shows up later when one finds out that this willingness to “take charge” is really a need to control - and what appeared like a rescue was really a trap.

But again…we can only speak in general terms.
We cannot judge, or even assess, the husbands of either of these posters, “Jacataqua” or “1of10”.

Peace
James

You are very wise, James.

I know how attractive these types can be. I never considered myself to be susceptible to that kind of guy, but I was, in a way I didn’t expect. And by the time things started going wrong, I was pretty well brainwashed to think of him as just showing his “love” for me, which he repeated ad infinitum. “I love you so much, that I had to…” And of course there is an element of fear as well. In my case, not believing I was “that sort” of woman got in the way of my recovery and getting well away. What a mess.



In my case, he was only a boyfriend, one of many. I’m fortunate not to have married him and had kids with him. I got away and I’m so glad that I did.

 

[JRKH]

You are very wise, James.

I don’t know about the wise bit…(we need a swelled head smilie )
Mostly I contribute the insight to my being married to a Psych nurse who just was also a victim of domestic abuse in her first marriage.

I know how attractive these types can be. I never considered myself to be susceptible to that kind of guy, but I was, in a way I didn’t expect. And by the time things started going wrong, I was pretty well brainwashed to think of him as just showing his “love” for me, which he repeated ad infinitum. “I love you so much, that I had to…” And of course there is an element of fear as well. In my case, not believing I was “that sort” of woman got in the way of my recovery and getting well away. What a mess.

In my case, he was only a boyfriend, one of many. I’m fortunate not to have married him and had kids with him. I got away and I’m so glad that I did.

Yes - these things can be so tricky…In my lady’s case she 5 small children…which made her life especially difficult right after the divorce, but also scared away many guys…even manipulators. Her little hoodlums were truly a mixed blessing…

Peace
James

 

[1of10]

Your situation is very difficult and I agree that being divorced could make things difficult…But I’m not sure that they would make them “much more” difficult.

Part of raising your son means he is exposed to his father’s attitudes. He will be hearing “Quackolic church” and other snide remarks as he grows up. Is this the sort of “Christian male image” you want your son to pick up? Not to mention the fact that your husband belittles you in general…

If, as you say religion finally breaks the marriage there is little doubt but that a tribunal is going to find that it was not sacramental - and it is possible that this would be better for your son in the long run…

Of course this is all just opinion…Just thoughts that come and are shared…

May God guide you on this journey.

Peace
James

I think getting a divorce would only turn him deeper down the Anti-Catholic path. And there is no guarantee that I would get full custody of my son in order to be the primary influence in his life. My husband isn’t abusive and is a good man in some ways and he loves our son very much. He grew up without his dad and with an abusive stepdad. I can’t imagine denying my husband and son that relationship. I see what it did to him not to have his dad around. It’s not the marraige or life I dreamed of or that was promised, but it could be worse, I guess.

It’s my own doing. I attended church regularly when we got married, but I obvioulsy wasn’t strong enough in my faith or else I would have followed the advice of my preists and gone through the proper steps to get married in the church.

 

[Jacataqua]

I had an abusive boyfriend. He seemed almost psychic, but these abusers are just really good at keeping people under their control.

Thanks for your post. He does seem psychic. I have actually wondered if maybe he really is. He says people tell him things, but why? Why do the guys he works with care what I do? That is, if it really is the co-workers at all that are telling him. Sometimes when I have the car because I need to take it for an oil change he’ll ask me if I plan on going anywhere else after the oil change. He seems to know to ask me at the exact time I’m thinking about visiting my Mom. How does he know I was thinking about my Mom? It makes me wonder if he is psychic. He once personally knew a psychic, but he says he doesn’t believe in it. Is that just a cover up?

 

[Jacataqua]

You are welcome. I hope that we are being an encouragement to you in some small way.

OK - well they are practically grown then…If they are going to pick up bad habits from their step-dad then they probably already have.

I can actually identify with this…not from personal experience, but through my wife. Her first marriage was abusive and she divorced him after 10 years and five children. She did not immediately leave the Church but did a few years later over some unrelated issues. She remained single for 25 years before she and I got married.

Yes - I’m sure that your sons see what is going on…I just wonder what they make of it all. I’m not asking you to share…this is very private stuff and difficult to share through postings…so please don’t feel that I am prying.

I have to say that, based on what you have written so far, it seems you are STILL in an abusive marriage. Abuse need not be physical, and in fact the vast majority of abuse is psychological and emotional…physical abuse generally only reenforces the other elements and they all boil down to the same thing - the need for control.
We can make no judgement on your husband…and it is not my intent to do so. I am merely commenting on things as you have presented them.
There seems to be an unhealthy level of control by your husband in this relationship. I can only hope that he has some other sterling qualities to make up for this…but I don’t know what they could be to entice you to live in such conditions.

Maybe God had not yet sent you a boat…but maybe through CAF he as sent you a lifeline to hold on to while he gets the boat ready.

Peace
James

Thanks for your post. I guess you’re right. My sons have already picked up whatever they are going to pick up from him. As far as an abusive relationship. My second husband is a saint compared to my first, so I should actually be thankful and in many ways I am. I guess the only problems I have are the religion thing and the control thing. These are small compared to what other women are going through and I know that. It bothers me, but it’s better than the life I had before. Most people would probably not worry about religion at all and maybe I shouldn’t either.

The other person who posted and said that it’s so easy to get into a relationship where the guy seems to want to take care of the family when the woman is stressed, is right. I was VERY stressed after my divorce and my husband took care of everything and made me feel safe and not so stressed. Now, I don’t know. I feel stressed much of the time. But that may be due to me being a nervous perfectionist, my own personal faults. I don’t know. But he does have many good qualities and I love him even though he’s not perfect. But I do wonder why he cares what church I attend since I’m not asking him to convert or even attend a Catholic Church. Why would it even matter to him? I can’t figure this out. I know his parents were very anti-Catholic, but that doesn’t mean that he has to continue this way, especially if it’s important to me. I was hoping he loved me enough to let me be who and what I want to be. Anyway, I guess I shouldn’t complain so much. No marriage is perfect and most people would look at my life and think it’s perfect. If God wants to change it, He will.

 

[JRKH]

Thanks for your post. I guess you’re right. My sons have already picked up whatever they are going to pick up from him. As far as an abusive relationship. My second husband is a saint compared to my first, so I should actually be thankful and in many ways I am. I guess the only problems I have are the religion thing and the control thing. These are small compared to what other women are going through and I know that. It bothers me, but it’s better than the life I had before. Most people would probably not worry about religion at all and maybe I shouldn’t either.

The other person who posted and said that it’s so easy to get into a relationship where the guy seems to want to take care of the family when the woman is stressed, is right. I was VERY stressed after my divorce and my husband took care of everything and made me feel safe and not so stressed. Now, I don’t know. I feel stressed much of the time. But that may be due to me being a nervous perfectionist, my own personal faults. I don’t know. But he does have many good qualities and I love him even though he’s not perfect. ** But I do wonder why he cares what church I attend since I’m not asking him to convert or even attend a Catholic Church. Why would it even matter to him?** I can’t figure this out. I know his parents were very anti-Catholic, but that doesn’t mean that he has to continue this way, especially if it’s important to me. I was hoping he loved me enough to let me be who and what I want to be. Anyway, I guess I shouldn’t complain so much. No marriage is perfect and most people would look at my life and think it’s perfect. If God wants to change it, He will.

In answer to the bolded question…While I cannot speak to your husband’s specific reasons, I can offer three general possibilities:

1. The person is deeply religious and convicted in their Anti-Catholic beliefs. Such a person genuinely believes that they must keep you from returning to the “whore of Babylon” for the sake of your soul.
2. The person is less stringent in their anti-Catholicism but feels strongly that having a “common Church” home is better for the family as a whole.
3. The person is not particularly religious - and it is just a matter of control and getting his own way.

Ultimately it seems you have made peace with things as they are.
But do keep praying and hopefully God will send you more lifelines and maybe even a boat someday. Which is my weird way of saying to be like St Monica who prayed for something like 20 years before her son Augustine converted.

Peace
James

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Thanks for your post. He does seem psychic. I have actually wondered if maybe he really is. He says people tell him things, but why? Why do the guys he works with care what I do? That is, if it really is the co-workers at all that are telling him. Sometimes when I have the car because I need to take it for an oil change he’ll ask me if I plan on going anywhere else after the oil change. He seems to know to ask me at the exact time I’m thinking about visiting my Mom. How does he know I was thinking about my Mom? It makes me wonder if he is psychic. He once personally knew a psychic, but he says he doesn’t believe in it. Is that just a cover up?

I don’t know how they do it. I know someone who seems to sense from far away when we are talking about him, and will call within a short time. It’s actually quite freaky. Some of what they do is just observing us on a close basis, watching us and our facial expressions, and our body language. My abuser also had access to a lot of my deepest feelings because he stole a bunch of my journals. And no, I didn’t leave him then. What an idiot I was.

 

[Jacataqua]

In answer to the bolded question…While I cannot speak to your husband’s specific reasons, I can offer three general possibilities:

1. The person is deeply religious and convicted in their Anti-Catholic beliefs. Such a person genuinely believes that they must keep you from returning to the “whore of Babylon” for the sake of your soul.
2. The person is less stringent in their anti-Catholicism but feels strongly that having a “common Church” home is better for the family as a whole.
3. The person is not particularly religious - and it is just a matter of control and getting his own way.

Ultimately it seems you have made peace with things as they are.
But do keep praying and hopefully God will send you more lifelines and maybe even a boat someday. Which is my weird way of saying to be like St Monica who prayed for something like 20 years before her son Augustine converted.

Peace
James

Thanks for your post. I looked at your 3 reasons above and I’d have to say that the first two do not apply to my husband. He is not deeply religious and he doesn’t feel that having a common family church is important, at least he never said it was important to him. He isn’t that religious at all. We go to church most Sundays, but that’s about it. It must be a matter of control then, if the first two reasons do not apply. I don’t know why he would feel the need to control my religion, except that I think he may be fearful, although I’m not sure why. Anyway, I am stuck, so I have to make peace with this in order to have something that resembles sanity in my life. If God doesn’t care and doesn’t change this, then I guess I shouldn’t care either, except that for some weird reason it bothers me greatly. Sometimes I just need to vent my frustrations. Thanks for your help.

 

[JRKH]

Thanks for your post. I looked at your 3 reasons above and I’d have to say that the first two do not apply to my husband. He is not deeply religious and he doesn’t feel that having a common family church is important, at least he never said it was important to him. He isn’t that religious at all. We go to church most Sundays, but that’s about it. It must be a matter of control then, if the first two reasons do not apply. I don’t know why he would feel the need to control my religion, except that I think he may be fearful, although I’m not sure why. Anyway, I am stuck, so I have to make peace with this in order to have something that resembles sanity in my life. If God doesn’t care and doesn’t change this, then I guess I shouldn’t care either, except that for some weird reason it bothers me greatly. Sometimes I just need to vent my frustrations. Thanks for your help.

I would hesitate to say that God doesn’t care, for surely He cares deeply…But God is also patient and knows what is best.
I’m reminded of St Monica who prayed for something like 20 years before her son saw the errors of his ways and converted…It’s good that she was both patient and persistent or Augustine might not have become a saint.

I’m also reminded of St Paul’s teaching (can’t remember where) that If a woman is the wife of an unbeliever and he divorce her, she is not bound. However if he is willing to continue the marriage, she should stay with him because God might save him through her…
I’m paraphrasing a lot here…I’m afraid I don’t have time right now to look up the source…
I hope I got it right…

Anyway…You are doing the best that you can and God knows that.

One thing that I might suggest, just for your own peace of mind would be to tell your husband that, despite his views, and despite your willingness to attend his church (to keep peace in the family) that you are and will remain Catholic at heart.
Then - if you wish - begin to pray the rosary and/or the divine chaplet and/or whatever other special prayers and devotions that give you comfort. Do these things quietly and by yourself. Do not flaunt them in front of him…
Do not respond to any of his anti- Catholic remarks except to make a silent prayer fro his conversion etc…

In short…Keep the “public peace”…but let him know that you will not be bullied into submission as regards your heart and soul.

Of course the above is only a suggestion. You know what is best for your own situation.

God bless you and your husband

Peace
James

 

[Anne_Jane]

I believe you said you were not married in the Catholic Church. You cannot receive the sacraments until you are. So sorry.

 

[Jacataqua]

I would hesitate to say that God doesn’t care, for surely He cares deeply…But God is also patient and knows what is best.

Peace
James

Thanks for your post. I guess what I mean by God doesn’t care is that he doesn’t care what denomination I belong to. God doesn’t care if I am Catholic or not. I know God cares about each of us, but denomination means nothing to him since denominations are man made. Being a Christian is all that matters. My mom is Catholic and even she says that I concentrate too much on denomination and belonging to the “right” church. She says that what I need to do is read the Bible and have a personal relationship with Jesus and then I’ll be ok. Also, I was reading a book recently, and in this book a Christian woman said that when something is God’s will things will just fall into place and happen easily. But when you feel like you’re swimming upstream and everything is a struggle and things are not going well, that means you are working against God’s will for your life. With my desire to be Catholic I am definitely swimming upstream. I have prayed, I have tried to get help, etc and everything I try to do is met with a brick wall. So, the only thing I can conclude is that it’s not God’s will for me to be Catholic and that denomination means nothing to God. I wish the evidence of my life didn’t point to this fact, but it does. If denomination mattered to God, then he would do something about it in my life. I still wish my husband would love me enough to let me make my own decisions, but he doesn’t or maybe he can’t. I don’t think he intends to be mean, he thinks he is right and helping me. But again, where is God in all of this? I can only conclude (even though I don’t want to) that where God is in this is the Lutheran Church and I am where I am supposed to be, even though I don’t want to be there. Swimming upstream is getting tiring and I need to learn to swim with the current, it’s less exhausting.