Dear TarAshly,
When you first started posting here I really admired your spunk and your abililty to speak your mind without worrying about what anybody says.
Now after following this thread, I have to ask, what did you expect? You have proven why your fiance does not raise any issues with you. I can understand if you don’t agree with, understand, and/or like the advice you get, but what I don’t get is how quick you are to impugn those who, as far as I can tell, are offering you honest and kind advice.
What do you want anybody to tell you? Why don’t you just make it easy for everybody and tell us what you want to hear?
Your tale reminds me of one of my friend’s lament with his wife.
He: Where would you like to go for dinner?
She: anywhere’s fine with me, you decide.
He: are you hungry for anything in particular.
She: no, just anything.
He: How about Wendy’s
She: you’ve got to be kidding. make me barf.
He: sorry. where would you prefer?
She: anywhere. just not Wendy’s
He: Well, you like Aurelio’s, don’t you? It’s been a while.
She: That takes too long. I’m hungry right now.
He: Please just tell me what you’re hungry for.
She: just anything we can get quickly
He: Spangles?
She: I’m sick of that place, we’ve been there twice this week.
etc.
/QUOTE
Sounds like my wife and me. To the ‘T’. But we wouldn’t leave each other over it.
Tar, I lived with my wife, too, before we got married…It all depends on how close you want to live with God. When I did this, I also committed other mortal sins, skipped Mass when I didn’t feel like going because ‘God loves me anyway’, used contraception, etc …now that I have returned full-force to the Church, I definately would have not lived with her. Are we OK now? Sure we are! But what if I would have died in a car wreck, or been runover by a train, or fell out of my airplane, etc…NOT GOOD! We must always be ready, and to do that requires being obedient, and that often entails doing things that don’t make sense in the secular world. I even had my own apt at the time, and moved in w/her because I was never at my apt.
At your stage in life, the Church rules just ‘don’t make sense, in this day and age.’
That is so far from the truth. But as you grow and mature, you will see. But like I mentioned earlier…the biggest thing is to always be prepared for your final day. If you got killed today, would you go up or down?
As for your original question, his reasons for doing things and wanting certain things may not make sense to you, but if you can see his heart is really into it, don’t stop him (examples would be things like hunting or fishing, etc…) unless it becomes his total obsession. Just don’t say no just because you think you can, and are too selfish to give him up for a weekend or whatever.
