Any "unplanned" people out there?

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I was “unplanned” by my mother but planned by God! Apparently my birthmother did not give birth to me in hospital but after I was born put me in a box with a newspaper and a blanket and left me on a doorstep. I was taken to a Sacred Heart hospital and was prayed over by the Dominican Sisters there and named Mary because I was born on the Feast of the Assumption. I was adopted in a week by nonCatholics and my name was changed but I remained forever Catholic because of my Baptism! My adoptive parents really wanted me and loved me deeply but they were alcoholic and didn’t allow me to attend Mass until I was 12. I didn’t find out the truth of my birth until eleven years ago, and that I was Scots-Irish and that my Godfather may have been my actual birthfather! Through all of my life, though, I felt completely and totally loved and wanted by Jesus and Our Blessed Mother and that is what mattered most deeply to me, from the beginning through the long-run. The Church is my true home!
 
My biological mom was Catholic too. She went to her priest for help and he sent her to live with his parents (in another state) until I was born. I don’t know much about her except that her first name was Mary.
 
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rayne89:
My biological mom was Catholic too. She went to her priest for help and he sent her to live with his parents (in another state) until I was born. I don’t know much about her except that her first name was Mary.
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Wow–this is really interesting, rayne89. Do you have any desire to find your birth mother? If the priest was still around he might remember who she is. I don’t think there is any coincidence her name was Mary either! God bless you, friend! 🙂
 
there are 6 of us, 2-1/2 years apart precisely, so I am guessing there was some planning involved, although my parents never discussed such things with us. they both have a scientific bent of mind so if they did try rhythm it must have worked. there was a number 7 who was miscarried, mom nearly died from effects of emergency hysterectomy, so that was that.
 
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My parents especially my mom are very sensitive to the issue. My parents adopted a baby girl 9 years before me. My sister had cancer at 18 mo and then redeveloped it at 19 & died when she was 21. I myself was born with a life threatening heart condition and had 2 open heart operations by the time I was 8. So they’ve been thru alot.

After my sister passed away (I was 13 at the time) my mom basically had a mental break down and my teen years were pretty rough. I didn’t even find out I was adopted until I was 18, 2 weeks before I was getting married and that was by accident because I found a letter while looking for my birth certificate.

Since our relationship was very poor she felt very threatened by the idea and I haven’t brought it up since. It isn’t worth causing them pain after all they’ve been thru. The little info that I know came from a family friend who was mentioned in the letter I found. She worked with a priest who placed children in Catholic adoptions (I didn’t know that til I talked to her). My parents actually became friends with her thru my sisters adoption.

Anyway my parents are in their 70’s (they were in their 40’s when they adopted me.) I figure I may look after their gone. I am curious but not curious enough to put my parents thru anything more.
 
rayne89,
Thank you for replying to my post. You and your family really have been through a lot, and I completely understand why you do not want to cause any more stress to your mother. I didn’t search for info about my birth until after my adoptive family passed on either. After they were gone I just really wanted to know the rest of my story, and though I never got to meet my birth mother, because she was already passed on herself, I did get to meet my two sisters and heard about our brother. Simply put, it was all on God’s time and not mine! He nudges me in the right directions when it’s time! Many blessings to you, rayne89. 🙂
 
This really is a very interesting thread. I really enjoyed reading all of your stories!

I don’t know if I was planned or not, but from the way my mom talks I really don’t think so. Fortunately, my mom was married to my dad at the time and he wanted kids!

I can definately say that my youngest brother and sister were not planned. My youngest brother has always been a difficult child, he is now 16 and has been in juvie more times than I can count. There are a lot of reasons why he turned out the way he did, but I can’t help thinking that my mother constantly telling him he was the “oops” baby or that he should’ve been a girl doesn’t help. I know pro-abortion people might point to kids like him as reason to have abortion, since he is “suffering from being unwanted” but it’s exactly THEIR selfish reasoning that caused my mom to talk and think like that. And if she would’ve just loved him and been a better parent, instead of resenting him for not being planned, he wouldn’t have turned out that way.

She is “pro-choice” but says she never seriously considered an abortion except for once, and that she found out that she wasn’t even pregnant that time (although, since she was on the pill, it is possible that she may have had abortions and not known it). When she told me about that, I was just a little kid, and I never looked at her the same way again. I think kids have a much better handle on black and white right and wrong issues than adults do, and even though I hadn’t thought much about abortion before, I suddenly realized that she was talking about how she had thought about possibly killing my little brother or sister! It’s all pretty selfish, I can’t think of anything more selfish, to say that you’ll love and care for your child if and only if he is planned and wanted.

And it is hard to honor my mom when she isn’t and never has been a good mom to me, or any of my siblings, planned or not. My little sister was not planned, and I ended up taking care of her most of the time. I wanted to be the mommy she needed, and my mom didn’t even care when she called me mom. She is only my half-sister, but I still think of her like a daughter, she is 11 now, and she will never be unloved.

Now I am a mother myself, and my baby was a blessing from God. I prayed for a little girl, and I got one, perhaps a little sooner than I expected, but I am so happy to have her!
 
Me. Unplanned. Arrived almost 10 years after my sister.

So it goes.
 
I was unplanned. My mom had a 2 year old and a 3 month old when she got pregnant with me. Sure am glad, these 39 years later, that my parents are pro-life. So are my husband and kids!!

In Christ,
Nancy 🙂
 
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Catholic4aReasn:
I was unplanned. My mom had a 2 year old and a 3 month old when she got pregnant with me. Sure am glad, these 39 years later, that my parents are pro-life. So are my husband and kids!!

In Christ,
Nancy 🙂
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I love it…! My sister in law is pregnant with number 3, she is due at the end of next month. She will have three under three. They are such a beautiful, loving family.
 
I do believe I was a “surprise” baby - when I was born my siblings were 14, 12, 10 and 8 and my mother was 48!

My eldest son was a “rhythm kid” - he was conceived in 1969.

None of us, though, were unwanted - God wanted every one of these unplanned babies.
 
This is just such an amazing thread. I have been so touched by the stories.

I wish that the pro-abortion forces could read these and many other stories like this. These folks just don’t seem to get that every abortion is a person who will never be be able to tell their own story. Who knows, though, maybe some are having second thoughts about their pro-abortion stand as a result of reading these stories. We can only hope and pray.
 
I want thank everyone for sharing their stories in response to my question. It only confirms what I’ve already believed. I grieve for all those lives that never got a chance at the gift a life, no matter how imperfect it may be. I hope someone out there whose held that belief that unplanned children are better off aborted gets a chance to read these stories. Keep 'em coming.🙂
 
I believe every child is a gift from God. I don’t believe I was unplanned, but I know my oldest sister was.

I do have an “unplanned” 17 month old, though! I was amazed by most people’s attitudes…because I was 41 and my husband was 50!
The amount of people who asked us whether we would be “getting rid of it!” Sorry, I don’t “get rid” of what God has blessed me with! All the arguments of “Is it fair to try to raise a child at your ages, etc.”
I now wish I had a Catholic doctor, because he actually had the nerve to say to me…after he asked if she was planned…“oh its a mistake
then” Boy oh Boy did I let him have it!!
Sadly, I do know many women who have had abortions. All I can say is all of them regret it terribly, and were not living in the Grace of God at the time.

Peace,
Gwen
 
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bluerose:
I do not believe that there is such a thing as an “unwanted” child.

Someone, somewhere would be thrilled to have each child who is born, regardless of handicaps, ethnicity, race, etc.
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This is so true! Just because the mother doesn’t want the child does not mean there are not at least a thousand families who DO want him!
 
dream wanderer:
I was wanted but because of my mother’s health issues the docs advised her to have a theraputic abortion which was the only legal way to go in those days…

Needless to say she refused. My mom and I did NOT have the best of relationships but after I converted I determined to honor her because every time I lost patience with her God reminded me that she could have had an abortion and didn’t. Our relationship improved greatly. I’m glad I made that decision…she passed away recently.

All of my kids were wanted but two of them were 'surprises!" 😛

dream wanderer
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Deciding to honor your mother was a beautiful decision. It honored God as well. :blessyou: and may God give your mother peace in His kingdom.
 
Hi all unplanned people. I’d like to ask for prayers tonight for my husbands cousin who is 20 and just found out she is expecting possibly twins. She just recently broke up with the guy, he was treating her very badly. She didn’t know when they split that she was pregnant.

Her mom is very liberal, she was letting this guy who is 6 years older than her stay over night (in her room!) when ever he felt like it. This has been a 2 year relationship. When my husband’s cousin moved out ( a few months ago) and he moved in w/ her he became very verbally abusive, wouldn’t contribute to the bills, and expected her to clean up after him. She kicked him out and now she is pregnant.

As far as I know she’s keeping the baby (or babies) but it wouldn’t surprise me if her mom tried to talk her into an abortion. I hope to talk to her soon and try to give her direction on where she can get help. I know this girl made her own choices but I can’t help but be angry at her mom for not giving her better guidance. It just breaks my heart that this girl’s furture could have been so different.

My husband and I intend to help her as best we can. So please remember her and her baby (babies) in you prayers. She’s got a tough road ahead. Thank you. God Bless!
 
My twin sister and I were really not planned. In fact mom had been told 4 years earlier that if she ever got pregnant again, she would die.That was when our older twin brothers were born…big babies and a c-section…back in the late 30’s.
And now that she’s gone I can say that she nearly did die a thousand deaths worrying about getting preg. Well she did get pregnant again.
Again for twins…this time 2 girls= big big girls each 8 pounds. Guess what! She didn’t die! Dad died 11 years later…and mom died 12 years ago. A beautiful Catholic couple coping with what was a big ordeal, obedience to God’s law. They are being blessed today!
 
The last six of my siblings and me. I am the youngest of nine.

Once my dad had a boy and a girl, he was ready to stop. But my mom and dad were Catholic, so they didn’t…and the rhythm method didn’t work for them, either. I guess that’s a good thing…some days I’m not so sure, at least in reference to me.

Therese
 
None of my children were “planned” I have 3, they were Wonderful Surprise’s:thumbsup:
 
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